Husband doesn’t want me to get surgery

[Anonymous]

For a supposedly liberal and woman forward website, the number of people saying that OP should not get the surgery if her husband is happy with her breast is deeply concerning.

[Anonymous]

I had a reduction and a lift. My husband did not want to help me recover. I had my parents come and help me and the kids. I later divorced him but not because of this. But he was a selfish person and the writing was on the wall.

[Anonymous]

Read the tummy tuck recovery thread.
Sounds minor but wasn't.
Then start a thread about what was it like after your breast lift, how long until you could do things, etc.
Be informed before you go to battle.

I wanted a facelift. Then I saw one on YouTube. Uh, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my husband is also not entirely supportive (but also not totally opposed) to the mommy makeover I'm interested in. I want a lift, small implant, and TT after having 2 kids. He also cites safety as the primary reason.

But, define "elective." So, if someone plays sports their whole lives, needs 2-3 surgeries to repair knees, hands, and ankles, etc., at what point are those surgeries "elective" versus necessary? If someone has weight loss surgery and wants the excess skin removed, who draws that line between what's necessary and what "elective"?

Define "vain" (or "aging gracefully" for that matter). It's not about looking good for others. It's about being proud of the body that you're in and not wanting to live the next 30-40 years upset about the post-partum effects. No one says someone working out 3-4x per week is vain. But if they want surgery to fix the parts that d/e can't, then that's vain? Makes no sense to me.

My point is that I think all these terms - elective, necessary, vain - are really self-serving and fail to grasp the complexity of these decisions.

I think you do the surgery.

knees, hands and ankles etc. that don't work properly being corrected to allow for decreased pain and proper(ish) mobility is a quality of life issue.

Loose skin post weight loss is necessary when it impedes proper hygeine (belly pannus can lead to chafed skin, infections, etc.) or movement.

The rest of it doesn't need to be "fixed" if it's functional but you just don't like it. The part that needs to be fixed at that point is between your ears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a supposedly liberal and woman forward website, the number of people saying that OP should not get the surgery if her husband is happy with her breast is deeply concerning.

It's not that people aren't feminists, it's that many of us are pretty confident about what breasts are for evolutionarily: 1) babies and 2) attracting men.

That's what breasts are for. Fight me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's an unnecessary surgery for vanity purposes. I would not want me or my spouse to get it either.

While it's agree it's your body...what does it matter what your breasts look like as long as your DH is happy? Who else needs be looking at, judging, and liking your breasts?

Huh? I like my body to look good for me, not for others.

That's a good enough reason, OP. Go ahead with the breast lift. Your DH will like the results. They all do.

[Anonymous]

Perky DD’s? Yes, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's an unnecessary surgery for vanity purposes. I would not want me or my spouse to get it either.

While it's agree it's your body...what does it matter what your breasts look like as long as your DH is happy? Who else needs be looking at, judging, and liking your breasts?

It’s how I like to look. Not to brag but I had pretty great 38DD breasts. Not so much now.

So you desire more attention. Got it

I desire to feel comfortable in my own body. I don’t like the way I look naked and that’s a problem for me. Call me vain but it’s the truth.

There is no way you should have elective surgery with two young children.

Give your body a few years to bounce back and then see how you will feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a supposedly liberal and woman forward website, the number of people saying that OP should not get the surgery if her husband is happy with her breast is deeply concerning.

That's not why most of us are saving don't do it now; her body still hasn't finished morphing from childbirth and breast feeding. And all surgery has some risks; of she wants to do elective surgery with two young children, she better do her will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my husband is also not entirely supportive (but also not totally opposed) to the mommy makeover I'm interested in. I want a lift, small implant, and TT after having 2 kids. He also cites safety as the primary reason.

But, define "elective." So, if someone plays sports their whole lives, needs 2-3 surgeries to repair knees, hands, and ankles, etc., at what point are those surgeries "elective" versus necessary? If someone has weight loss surgery and wants the excess skin removed, who draws that line between what's necessary and what "elective"?

Define "vain" (or "aging gracefully" for that matter). It's not about looking good for others. It's about being proud of the body that you're in and not wanting to live the next 30-40 years upset about the post-partum effects. No one says someone working out 3-4x per week is vain. But if they want surgery to fix the parts that d/e can't, then that's vain? Makes no sense to me.

My point is that I think all these terms - elective, necessary, vain - are really self-serving and fail to grasp the complexity of these decisions.

I think you do the surgery.

Quite a lot of mental gymnastics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a supposedly liberal and woman forward website, the number of people saying that OP should not get the surgery if her husband is happy with her breast is deeply concerning.

I think OP should love the body she has and realize she is so much more than her meat suit. How is this not a liberal position?

[Anonymous]

Im confused. I think the laser and cellulite work is more vain than having saggy boobs and getting a breast lift without implants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your youngest kid? I think you both have excellent reasons to do or not do the surgery. His are more sound but it’s your body and if you feel it’s important, work on giving him enough information to feel it’s a safe procedure. Although I will say I appreciate is POV and acceptance of your body. My DH would like me to get a breast lift or even implants postpartum and it annoys me. Having children changed them and I wish he made me feel comfortable about the change. I’m on the fence about a breast lift - against implants because of reports of autoimmune issues.

I’m sorry you have to deal with that. What a tool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your youngest kid? I think you both have excellent reasons to do or not do the surgery. His are more sound but it’s your body and if you feel it’s important, work on giving him enough information to feel it’s a safe procedure. Although I will say I appreciate is POV and acceptance of your body. My DH would like me to get a breast lift or even implants postpartum and it annoys me. Having children changed them and I wish he made me feel comfortable about the change. I’m on the fence about a breast lift - against implants because of reports of autoimmune issues.

Youngest is 1.5. Nursed both him and his brother for 1 year each.

DP, Your breasts aren’t done recovering if you only weaned 6 months ago. Mine were sad little skin flaps when I weaned, the fullness came back over time. I think you should give your body more time before you worry about any cosmetic procedures, especially surgical ones.

Yes this. The rush for plastic surgery to look like you did pre-baby is not cool. Your body is still recovering and risking your children’s mother’s life for a slight bit of perkiness? Insane. Give your body time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband wouldn't want me to have elective, unnecessary surgery either.

Same

My husband has told me if I wanted to get anything done I could. He's not unaware of the risks, but I don't think they're huge. I've been put under twice before for non-elective surgeries and came out fine.