‘I don’t have to hear my kid whine’; well, your kid’s chaperone does

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t disagree with you OP. But I also am annoyed with you. Some of those parents probably argued with their kids to dress better, bring a raincoat, etc. Kids probably refused. So parents decided to let them suffer the natural consequences! You completely undermined that! Let them be cold. Let them be wet. Will they die? No. And next time they’ll listen to their parents and bring a raincoat.

You totally undermined and “rescued” those kids. Bad choice.

OP here. My daughter was fighting me about clothes the night before because she wanted to wear shorts and Crocs. I told her she would be wearing proper shoes and long pants, or she would be going to school for a regular school day and I would attend the trip as a chaperone without her. This is called parenting. There is no such thing as an 11yo “refusing” me when it comes to a special privilege like Hershey Park.

So you raised a kid who doesn't understand how to dress themselves in middle school and now you're lecturing other people? Sounds like you did a very bad job parenting her when she was younger.

She understands she doesn’t get to make dumb choices on important days. If she wants to shiver at the bus stop, fine. But not all day in the cold and rain. It’s called stepping in and parenting until her brain finishes developing.

I’m a NP and I agree with this. If my kid refuses to wear sunscreen at the beach, I’m not letting them go and get a bad burn. In MS my kids would have probably put up a similar fight on the way to a long field trip and I would have made them pack something and say they can leave it on the bus. Now they’re in HS and make better choices.

I agree with the op. I’m a teacher and there’s just a lot of kids who lack resilience and whine constantly. All the “natural consequences” that parents think they’re teaching seems to only relate to clothes and weather. They’re rushing lunches and homework and violins to school constantly, but somehow they’re making their kids gritty by letting them be cold. It’s not working, they’re not resilient.

I always wonder about posts like this- from teachers who clearly don’t like their students.

[Anonymous]

I've had kids in public school long enough to know that if this was a widespread problem, then it is the fault of the organizers. Sorry.

Schools are horrible communicators. If lots of kids were poorly dressed, then the organizers did not adequately communicate to families what the event would be like -- how much walking would be involved, whether it was outdoors or indoors, whether the kids would actually be spending time at the park having fun or they would just be performing and attending an awards ceremony.

Parents aren't mind readers. Most kids would be fine at school on a rainy, 55 degree day in shorts and crocs. I see them do this all the time. In fact my kids who are not allowed to wear shoes like that to school at all complain to me about being too hot in socks because they are indoors and buildings are not heated or cooled well.

Lesson to the organizer -- next year, specify that all kids should wear closed toed shoes with socks regardless of weather, and bring an outer layer in the event of rain. I wouldn't dictate pants or shorts and if kids wore shorts and complained, I'd just let them complain.

When it's a few kids, it's on those parents or kids for not planning well enough. When it's tons of kids, then this should be part of the planning process and it means the kids and families were not adequately informed about the event.

[Anonymous]

Hershey Park should not need a detailed explanation of what kids should wear. Look at the damn weather app and pack for contingencies. Yes, I’ve had middle schoolers and neither one would refuse to take a rain jacket in their backpack if it meant missing Hershey Park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now you know why there’s a teacher shortage. You would not believe the messages I get from parents asking me to do ridiculous things like keep Larla from getting her flower girl dress dirty that she wore to school because she’s going to see Grandma later she she doesn’t like kids looking messy. I asked Mom to bring a change of clothes since she already signed the permission slip for Larla to participate in field day. Cue nasty message that she’s busy. Now I get to decide whether to allow Larla to do field day in her dress or make her sit out. I don’t get paid enough for this crap.

That’s awful. Some parents are truly checked-out, entitled and terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t disagree with you OP. But I also am annoyed with you. Some of those parents probably argued with their kids to dress better, bring a raincoat, etc. Kids probably refused. So parents decided to let them suffer the natural consequences! You completely undermined that! Let them be cold. Let them be wet. Will they die? No. And next time they’ll listen to their parents and bring a raincoat.

You totally undermined and “rescued” those kids. Bad choice.

OP here. My daughter was fighting me about clothes the night before because she wanted to wear shorts and Crocs. I told her she would be wearing proper shoes and long pants, or she would be going to school for a regular school day and I would attend the trip as a chaperone without her. This is called parenting. There is no such thing as an 11yo “refusing” me when it comes to a special privilege like Hershey Park.

So you raised a kid who doesn't understand how to dress themselves in middle school and now you're lecturing other people? Sounds like you did a very bad job parenting her when she was younger.

She understands she doesn’t get to make dumb choices on important days. If she wants to shiver at the bus stop, fine. But not all day in the cold and rain. It’s called stepping in and parenting until her brain finishes developing.

I’m a NP and I agree with this. If my kid refuses to wear sunscreen at the beach, I’m not letting them go and get a bad burn. In MS my kids would have probably put up a similar fight on the way to a long field trip and I would have made them pack something and say they can leave it on the bus. Now they’re in HS and make better choices.

I agree with the op. I’m a teacher and there’s just a lot of kids who lack resilience and whine constantly. All the “natural consequences” that parents think they’re teaching seems to only relate to clothes and weather. They’re rushing lunches and homework and violins to school constantly, but somehow they’re making their kids gritty by letting them be cold. It’s not working, they’re not resilient.

All. Of. This. Right. Here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hershey Park should not need a detailed explanation of what kids should wear. Look at the damn weather app and pack for contingencies. Yes, I’ve had middle schoolers and neither one would refuse to take a rain jacket in their backpack if it meant missing Hershey Park.

OP said the majority of kids were not dressed for the weather, so you are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t disagree with you OP. But I also am annoyed with you. Some of those parents probably argued with their kids to dress better, bring a raincoat, etc. Kids probably refused. So parents decided to let them suffer the natural consequences! You completely undermined that! Let them be cold. Let them be wet. Will they die? No. And next time they’ll listen to their parents and bring a raincoat.

You totally undermined and “rescued” those kids. Bad choice.

OP here. My daughter was fighting me about clothes the night before because she wanted to wear shorts and Crocs. I told her she would be wearing proper shoes and long pants, or she would be going to school for a regular school day and I would attend the trip as a chaperone without her. This is called parenting. There is no such thing as an 11yo “refusing” me when it comes to a special privilege like Hershey Park.

So you raised a kid who doesn't understand how to dress themselves in middle school and now you're lecturing other people? Sounds like you did a very bad job parenting her when she was younger.

She understands she doesn’t get to make dumb choices on important days. If she wants to shiver at the bus stop, fine. But not all day in the cold and rain. It’s called stepping in and parenting until her brain finishes developing.

I’m a NP and I agree with this. If my kid refuses to wear sunscreen at the beach, I’m not letting them go and get a bad burn. In MS my kids would have probably put up a similar fight on the way to a long field trip and I would have made them pack something and say they can leave it on the bus. Now they’re in HS and make better choices.

I agree with the op. I’m a teacher and there’s just a lot of kids who lack resilience and whine constantly. All the “natural consequences” that parents think they’re teaching seems to only relate to clothes and weather. They’re rushing lunches and homework and violins to school constantly, but somehow they’re making their kids gritty by letting them be cold. It’s not working, they’re not resilient.

I always wonder about posts like this- from teachers who clearly don’t like their students.

NP. Ope, did you recognize yourself as a crappy parent? It is obvious that PP is a great teacher who cares about kids and sees that parents often do them disservices in the name of “natural consequences” and “resilience”…in a VERY pick-and-choose way.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Thank you for taking care of others’ children that day. I see you’re getting some nasty comments. Unfortunately, this is usually what happens when you try to do the right thing. People get defensive and lash out.

No, you aren’t coddling your middle schooler by telling them what to wear. You’re parenting. But to some parents, that’s way too much effort. It’s easier to use the “they are learning through consequences” excuse instead of guiding kids through decision making.

And thank you for chaperoning. Teachers take the same type of abuse that you’re getting on this thread, so I’m sure they were grateful for your help.

I

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had kids in public school long enough to know that if this was a widespread problem, then it is the fault of the organizers. Sorry.

Schools are horrible communicators. If lots of kids were poorly dressed, then the organizers did not adequately communicate to families what the event would be like -- how much walking would be involved, whether it was outdoors or indoors, whether the kids would actually be spending time at the park having fun or they would just be performing and attending an awards ceremony.

Parents aren't mind readers. Most kids would be fine at school on a rainy, 55 degree day in shorts and crocs. I see them do this all the time. In fact my kids who are not allowed to wear shoes like that to school at all complain to me about being too hot in socks because they are indoors and buildings are not heated or cooled well.

Lesson to the organizer -- next year, specify that all kids should wear closed toed shoes with socks regardless of weather, and bring an outer layer in the event of rain. I wouldn't dictate pants or shorts and if kids wore shorts and complained, I'd just let them complain.

When it's a few kids, it's on those parents or kids for not planning well enough. When it's tons of kids, then this should be part of the planning process and it means the kids and families were not adequately informed about the event.

OP here and nope. Communications were thorough, frequent and great. INCLUDING a night-before warning about the weather. Sorry, if you don’t get that amusement park = outdoors and walking, you are ridiculous. It takes 20 seconds to check a weather app or Google the weather and tell your kid to prepare for cold and rain. Sorry, you tried it, but nope.

[Anonymous]

I agree, OP. And you were kind to buy ponchos.

Parents who brag that they don’t have to hear their kid whine are annoying AF. And all parents should teach and remind their kids to be polite to the teachers and chaperones, without whom the trip could not happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t disagree with you OP. But I also am annoyed with you. Some of those parents probably argued with their kids to dress better, bring a raincoat, etc. Kids probably refused. So parents decided to let them suffer the natural consequences! You completely undermined that! Let them be cold. Let them be wet. Will they die? No. And next time they’ll listen to their parents and bring a raincoat.

You totally undermined and “rescued” those kids. Bad choice.

OP here. My daughter was fighting me about clothes the night before because she wanted to wear shorts and Crocs. I told her she would be wearing proper shoes and long pants, or she would be going to school for a regular school day and I would attend the trip as a chaperone without her. This is called parenting. There is no such thing as an 11yo “refusing” me when it comes to a special privilege like Hershey Park.

I 100% applaud you OP. I really do. You sound like an excellent parent and are so right - these kids are getting to go to Hershey Park! Either they dress appropriately, or they do not go. It really should not be that tough for a parent to see it that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t disagree with you OP. But I also am annoyed with you. Some of those parents probably argued with their kids to dress better, bring a raincoat, etc. Kids probably refused. So parents decided to let them suffer the natural consequences! You completely undermined that! Let them be cold. Let them be wet. Will they die? No. And next time they’ll listen to their parents and bring a raincoat.

You totally undermined and “rescued” those kids. Bad choice.

OP here. My daughter was fighting me about clothes the night before because she wanted to wear shorts and Crocs. I told her she would be wearing proper shoes and long pants, or she would be going to school for a regular school day and I would attend the trip as a chaperone without her. This is called parenting. There is no such thing as an 11yo “refusing” me when it comes to a special privilege like Hershey Park.

So you raised a kid who doesn't understand how to dress themselves in middle school and now you're lecturing other people? Sounds like you did a very bad job parenting her when she was younger.

She understands she doesn’t get to make dumb choices on important days. If she wants to shiver at the bus stop, fine. But not all day in the cold and rain. It’s called stepping in and parenting until her brain finishes developing.

I’m a NP and I agree with this. If my kid refuses to wear sunscreen at the beach, I’m not letting them go and get a bad burn. In MS my kids would have probably put up a similar fight on the way to a long field trip and I would have made them pack something and say they can leave it on the bus. Now they’re in HS and make better choices.

I agree with the op. I’m a teacher and there’s just a lot of kids who lack resilience and whine constantly. All the “natural consequences” that parents think they’re teaching seems to only relate to clothes and weather. They’re rushing lunches and homework and violins to school constantly, but somehow they’re making their kids gritty by letting them be cold. It’s not working, they’re not resilient.

I always wonder about posts like this- from teachers who clearly don’t like their students.

NP. Ope, did you recognize yourself as a crappy parent? It is obvious that PP is a great teacher who cares about kids and sees that parents often do them disservices in the name of “natural consequences” and “resilience”…in a VERY pick-and-choose way.

It is not obvious to me that the PP is a great teacher. I don’t know any great teachers who spend their precious free time trashing parents on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had kids in public school long enough to know that if this was a widespread problem, then it is the fault of the organizers. Sorry.

Schools are horrible communicators. If lots of kids were poorly dressed, then the organizers did not adequately communicate to families what the event would be like -- how much walking would be involved, whether it was outdoors or indoors, whether the kids would actually be spending time at the park having fun or they would just be performing and attending an awards ceremony.

Parents aren't mind readers. Most kids would be fine at school on a rainy, 55 degree day in shorts and crocs. I see them do this all the time. In fact my kids who are not allowed to wear shoes like that to school at all complain to me about being too hot in socks because they are indoors and buildings are not heated or cooled well.

Lesson to the organizer -- next year, specify that all kids should wear closed toed shoes with socks regardless of weather, and bring an outer layer in the event of rain. I wouldn't dictate pants or shorts and if kids wore shorts and complained, I'd just let them complain.

When it's a few kids, it's on those parents or kids for not planning well enough. When it's tons of kids, then this should be part of the planning process and it means the kids and families were not adequately informed about the event.

OP here and nope. Communications were thorough, frequent and great. INCLUDING a night-before warning about the weather. Sorry, if you don’t get that amusement park = outdoors and walking, you are ridiculous. It takes 20 seconds to check a weather app or Google the weather and tell your kid to prepare for cold and rain. Sorry, you tried it, but nope.

If the majority of kids were inappropriately dressed, then the communication was not effective. When I write an email for work and more than half the people didnt comprehend the message, I don’t get to blame the reader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t disagree with you OP. But I also am annoyed with you. Some of those parents probably argued with their kids to dress better, bring a raincoat, etc. Kids probably refused. So parents decided to let them suffer the natural consequences! You completely undermined that! Let them be cold. Let them be wet. Will they die? No. And next time they’ll listen to their parents and bring a raincoat.

You totally undermined and “rescued” those kids. Bad choice.

OP here. My daughter was fighting me about clothes the night before because she wanted to wear shorts and Crocs. I told her she would be wearing proper shoes and long pants, or she would be going to school for a regular school day and I would attend the trip as a chaperone without her. This is called parenting. There is no such thing as an 11yo “refusing” me when it comes to a special privilege like Hershey Park.

So you raised a kid who doesn't understand how to dress themselves in middle school and now you're lecturing other people? Sounds like you did a very bad job parenting her when she was younger.

She understands she doesn’t get to make dumb choices on important days. If she wants to shiver at the bus stop, fine. But not all day in the cold and rain. It’s called stepping in and parenting until her brain finishes developing.

I’m a NP and I agree with this. If my kid refuses to wear sunscreen at the beach, I’m not letting them go and get a bad burn. In MS my kids would have probably put up a similar fight on the way to a long field trip and I would have made them pack something and say they can leave it on the bus. Now they’re in HS and make better choices.

I agree with the op. I’m a teacher and there’s just a lot of kids who lack resilience and whine constantly. All the “natural consequences” that parents think they’re teaching seems to only relate to clothes and weather. They’re rushing lunches and homework and violins to school constantly, but somehow they’re making their kids gritty by letting them be cold. It’s not working, they’re not resilient.

I always wonder about posts like this- from teachers who clearly don’t like their students.

DP. Nah, you don’t get to trash teachers here. There’s no evidence that teacher hates her students. On the contrary, she wants her students to be supported.

Teachers often have to step in. That’s why I have supplies for students in my classroom (spare layers, deodorant, soap, etc.). And I’ve had to purchase food for hungry students many times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had kids in public school long enough to know that if this was a widespread problem, then it is the fault of the organizers. Sorry.

Schools are horrible communicators. If lots of kids were poorly dressed, then the organizers did not adequately communicate to families what the event would be like -- how much walking would be involved, whether it was outdoors or indoors, whether the kids would actually be spending time at the park having fun or they would just be performing and attending an awards ceremony.

Parents aren't mind readers. Most kids would be fine at school on a rainy, 55 degree day in shorts and crocs. I see them do this all the time. In fact my kids who are not allowed to wear shoes like that to school at all complain to me about being too hot in socks because they are indoors and buildings are not heated or cooled well.

Lesson to the organizer -- next year, specify that all kids should wear closed toed shoes with socks regardless of weather, and bring an outer layer in the event of rain. I wouldn't dictate pants or shorts and if kids wore shorts and complained, I'd just let them complain.

When it's a few kids, it's on those parents or kids for not planning well enough. When it's tons of kids, then this should be part of the planning process and it means the kids and families were not adequately informed about the event.

OP here and nope. Communications were thorough, frequent and great. INCLUDING a night-before warning about the weather. Sorry, if you don’t get that amusement park = outdoors and walking, you are ridiculous. It takes 20 seconds to check a weather app or Google the weather and tell your kid to prepare for cold and rain. Sorry, you tried it, but nope.

If the majority of kids were inappropriately dressed, then the communication was not effective. When I write an email for work and more than half the people didnt comprehend the message, I don’t get to blame the reader.

If it’s raining and cold outside, do you need your work to remind you to bring an umbrella for the walk to the office?

Expecting a school to communicate the CLEARLY OBVIOUS is asking too much.

Thank you, teachers and administrators, for putting up with all of this.