‘I don’t have to hear my kid whine’; well, your kid’s chaperone does

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

Letting them deal with the consequences of bad decisions is parenting.

This. I tell my kids the weather and let them decide what to wear.

That’s great but you don’t have to hear their whining all day. The volunteer chaperones and teachers do. Do better.

Such fragile flowers don’t do well as middle school chaperones. Try and do better .

I’m the teacher. If you want to teach your kids life lessons, do it on the weekend so you can hear how effective it is.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

Letting them deal with the consequences of bad decisions is parenting.

This. I tell my kids the weather and let them decide what to wear.

That’s great but you don’t have to hear their whining all day. The volunteer chaperones and teachers do. Do better.

Such fragile flowers don’t do well as middle school chaperones. Try and do better .

I’m the teacher. If you want to teach your kids life lessons, do it on the weekend so you can hear how effective it is.

No, I'm going to raise my kids every day of the week and if you're too fragile to hear a child complain get another job. You won't be missed.

[Anonymous]

I call fake/exaggerated on all of this. My kids did these music programs in middle school. They had freedom to roam with check in times. This isn’t kindergarten where they are glued to the chaperone.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

Letting them deal with the consequences of bad decisions is parenting.

This. I tell my kids the weather and let them decide what to wear.

That’s great but you don’t have to hear their whining all day. The volunteer chaperones and teachers do. Do better.

Such fragile flowers don’t do well as middle school chaperones. Try and do better .

I’m the teacher. If you want to teach your kids life lessons, do it on the weekend so you can hear how effective it is.

No, I'm going to raise my kids every day of the week and if you're too fragile to hear a child complain get another job. You won't be missed.

Most great middle school teachers are tough and resilient and tell kids to get their stuff together. I can’t imagine them being unable to deal with whining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ & by the way, I have 3 kids. They all wear their coats at that age and we don't have these discussions anymore.

All of them are healthy and so them being cold and wet for a day might make tehm more suseptible to colds, but not a biggie.

I suspect parents who allow for natural consequences for their kids on average both have kids who are more responsible AND have higher self-esteem AND have a happier family life and relationship with their parents

You can disagree but I think we can allow for different strokes for different folks (well, you seem pretty rigid about what is beest but...)

Parents who have consistently allowed for natural consequences likely have middle schoolers who either know to bring a jacket, or who don't whine when they don't. OP isn't talking about those kids. OP is talking about parents who admit on social media that they don't usually allow for natural consequences, but will do so this time because they won't be the ones to hear about the whining.

If your kid can go on a full day trip, and not whine, or try to make the whole group stop in various sheltered stops, in the clothing they are wearing, then go ahead and send them. If you are confident your kid will whine, then do something different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

Letting them deal with the consequences of bad decisions is parenting.

This. I tell my kids the weather and let them decide what to wear.

That’s great but you don’t have to hear their whining all day. The volunteer chaperones and teachers do. Do better.

Such fragile flowers don’t do well as middle school chaperones. Try and do better .

Chaperoning a field trip of any kid is tiring, but one ALL day is exhausting. Not everyone is lining up to do this. I’m grateful for parents who do chaperone a field trip like this!! Thank you!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

Letting them deal with the consequences of bad decisions is parenting.

This. I tell my kids the weather and let them decide what to wear.

That’s great but you don’t have to hear their whining all day. The volunteer chaperones and teachers do. Do better.

Such fragile flowers don’t do well as middle school chaperones. Try and do better .

I’m the teacher. If you want to teach your kids life lessons, do it on the weekend so you can hear how effective it is.

100% and thank you to the teachers and chaperones who go above and beyond. We know the lazy parents don’t care, but we recognize that you do and we appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

Letting them deal with the consequences of bad decisions is parenting.

This. I tell my kids the weather and let them decide what to wear.

That’s great but you don’t have to hear their whining all day. The volunteer chaperones and teachers do. Do better.

Such fragile flowers don’t do well as middle school chaperones. Try and do better .

I’m the teacher. If you want to teach your kids life lessons, do it on the weekend so you can hear how effective it is.

No, I'm going to raise my kids every day of the week and if you're too fragile to hear a child complain get another job. You won't be missed.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the teachers who are better parents to your child than you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

Letting them deal with the consequences of bad decisions is parenting.

This. I tell my kids the weather and let them decide what to wear.

That’s great but you don’t have to hear their whining all day. The volunteer chaperones and teachers do. Do better.

Such fragile flowers don’t do well as middle school chaperones. Try and do better .

I’m the teacher. If you want to teach your kids life lessons, do it on the weekend so you can hear how effective it is.

No, I'm going to raise my kids every day of the week and if you're too fragile to hear a child complain get another job. You won't be missed.

Most great middle school teachers are tough and resilient and tell kids to get their stuff together. I can’t imagine them being unable to deal with whining.

Come in and sub for a few days. Then we will talk. My colleague of 18 yrs up and walked out in February. Everyone has their limits. Her class is being “taught” by a woman who nobody can understand. Her accent is so thick and she spends most of her classes having kids copy stuff out of books she brought in. The girls tell me that she doesn’t believe girls should go to school past age 13. This is what you get when your kids’ behavior is too much. Enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:It's strange that you frame this as a favor responsibility to the chaperones versus the kids

The trip itself is a favor to the kids. Do you think a bunch of adults want to take a vacation day off work to go to Hershey Park? Music competitions are great, but not necessary. They can certainly be held without a trip to a theme park. It is voluntary so no one has to go. You think a bunch of middle school kids don’t want to go to Hershey Park instead of school?

The favor wouldn’t be possible without parent volunteers and teachers, directors and additional work on the part of school administrators.

I think you misundestand what I am saying.
I mean the focus that you have -- of how this was so terible for the chaperones, v. the kids -- says something about your parenting style and viewpoint that I find interesting.
My perspective would have been: are you sure you don't want to dress more warmly? No? Then the kids suffer the consequences. I would never have seen this as something that the adults around my kids should take on, because the whole point is natural consequences for the KIDS, no you. But you decided it was your imperative to make it your problem and you seem angry at the parents about this.
To me it seems likely reflective of how you see resonsibility and whose it should be

I guess you didn’t read the part where a kid in her group was crying so she bought that kid and the rest of her group ponchos so they wouldn’t be so cold and wet? Do tell how that is not caring for the kids and focusing on the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps don’t chaperone again.

Yeah…get over it OP. Some kids will whine no matter what. If not because of the rain, because it’s too hot, too sunny, they’re hungry, thirsty, bored, etc.

All this is legitimate to say.

You could also say to yourself,"it's nice that there are people out there who are willing to chaperone middle schoolers for a trip like this (my kids have been to Hershey for band/orchestra - it's a looong day), to listen to them, and to spend money to help out when they were underprepared."

And then, "why did I choose to spend my time on DCUM trying to school such a person?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

Letting them deal with the consequences of bad decisions is parenting.

This. I tell my kids the weather and let them decide what to wear.

That’s great but you don’t have to hear their whining all day. The volunteer chaperones and teachers do. Do better.

Such fragile flowers don’t do well as middle school chaperones. Try and do better .

I’m the teacher. If you want to teach your kids life lessons, do it on the weekend so you can hear how effective it is.

No, I'm going to raise my kids every day of the week and if you're too fragile to hear a child complain get another job. You won't be missed.

Most great middle school teachers are tough and resilient and tell kids to get their stuff together. I can’t imagine them being unable to deal with whining.

Come in and sub for a few days. Then we will talk. My colleague of 18 yrs up and walked out in February. Everyone has their limits. Her class is being “taught” by a woman who nobody can understand. Her accent is so thick and she spends most of her classes having kids copy stuff out of books she brought in. The girls tell me that she doesn’t believe girls should go to school past age 13. This is what you get when your kids’ behavior is too much. Enjoy.

Your former colleague doesn’t sound like a teacher who is good or cares if she walked out mid school year. Just as the quality of parents vary, the quality of teachers vary. Crazy you think parents don’t notice this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps don’t chaperone again.

Yeah…get over it OP. Some kids will whine no matter what. If not because of the rain, because it’s too hot, too sunny, they’re hungry, thirsty, bored, etc.

All this is legitimate to say.

You could also say to yourself,"it's nice that there are people out there who are willing to chaperone middle schoolers for a trip like this (my kids have been to Hershey for band/orchestra - it's a looong day), to listen to them, and to spend money to help out when they were underprepared."

And then, "why did I choose to spend my time on DCUM trying to school such a person?"

OP posted here to brag and complain about other parents. She’s getting what she put out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

Letting them deal with the consequences of bad decisions is parenting.

This. I tell my kids the weather and let them decide what to wear.

That’s great but you don’t have to hear their whining all day. The volunteer chaperones and teachers do. Do better.

Such fragile flowers don’t do well as middle school chaperones. Try and do better .

I’m the teacher. If you want to teach your kids life lessons, do it on the weekend so you can hear how effective it is.

No, I'm going to raise my kids every day of the week and if you're too fragile to hear a child complain get another job. You won't be missed.

Most great middle school teachers are tough and resilient and tell kids to get their stuff together. I can’t imagine them being unable to deal with whining.

Come in and sub for a few days. Then we will talk. My colleague of 18 yrs up and walked out in February. Everyone has their limits. Her class is being “taught” by a woman who nobody can understand. Her accent is so thick and she spends most of her classes having kids copy stuff out of books she brought in. The girls tell me that she doesn’t believe girls should go to school past age 13. This is what you get when your kids’ behavior is too much. Enjoy.

Your former colleague doesn’t sound like a teacher who is good or cares if she walked out mid school year. Just as the quality of parents vary, the quality of teachers vary. Crazy you think parents don’t notice this.

NP and I have a friend who was a middle school teacher who couldn’t take it any more when the kids were animals, the parents were entitled enablers, and her mother was dying. That doesn’t make her a low-quality teacher; it makes her a human who gave until she couldn’t. It sounds like you’re a taker, so we get that you don’t understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps don’t chaperone again.

Yeah…get over it OP. Some kids will whine no matter what. If not because of the rain, because it’s too hot, too sunny, they’re hungry, thirsty, bored, etc.

All this is legitimate to say.

You could also say to yourself,"it's nice that there are people out there who are willing to chaperone middle schoolers for a trip like this (my kids have been to Hershey for band/orchestra - it's a looong day), to listen to them, and to spend money to help out when they were underprepared."

And then, "why did I choose to spend my time on DCUM trying to school such a person?"

OP posted here to brag and complain about other parents. She’s getting what she put out.

Yes, the bad parents got defensive, we know. The ones who don’t care that their kids are helpless brats got defensive, we get it.