‘I don’t have to hear my kid whine’; well, your kid’s chaperone does

[Anonymous]

Yesterday was a middle school field trip to a music competition and then Hershey park for fun/the competition awards ceremony. Choir, band, orchestra, strings—every musical kid, pretty much. Nine Coach buses of kids and parents. It was great, but it was also A Lot, and required many parent volunteers/chaperones.

It was raining and 55 degrees. Any parent could either look up the weather the night before, or tell their kid to look up the weather the night before, and prepare accordingly. My kid was dressed in long pants, long sleeves, group T-shirt on top, sneakers, rain jacket. Some kids also had umbrellas.

TONS of kids—the majority of kids—were in shorts, short sleeves, no jacket of any kind, no umbrella, no proper shoes. Crocs, sandals, no socks, etc.

Lots of Facebook comments the night before: “I’m letting my kids wear shorts because I don’t have to hear her whine HAHAHA” well, did you think for one second about the chaperones, administrators, teachers and directors who DID have to hear your kid whine all day? I had a group of sixth graders. One was legit crying because she was wet and cold and said, “No one told me it was going to rain today,” and she doesn’t have a phone so couldn’t have looked it up herself. Like she’s 11 years old, it’s OK to help her prepare properly for a field trip. Even if it’s like, “I want you to look up the weather for tomorrow, and make a plan for what to wear and bring.” And then talk it through! So I bought my group rain ponchos for those who were cold and had no rain jacket.

You are responsible for your kid all the time, not just on days you have to see them/hear them/deal with them. You don’t have to baby them or do everything for them, but as a parent of teens and tweens, you at least need to make sure they’re thinking things through.

[Anonymous]

You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

Sweatshirts would just get soaking wet in the rain! Plus, kids who brought money are going to buy candy, toys, dumb souvenirs, funnel cakes, arcade games…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps don’t chaperone again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are sweet to buy rain ponchos. Did they have sweatshirts for sale there? Kids should have brought enough money but maybe not.

The sweatshirts are really expensive. OP, thank you for looking after these kids. The parent who posted this didn't think their comment through. But honestly, yesterday, I didn't expect it to be so cold! And I checked the weather! It's only because I walk the dog in the morning that I actually felt the temp and told DD to change into long pants and long shirts before going to school. It's not surprising to me that multiple parents did not realize how cold it was going to get.

They still had to drop their kids off at the middle school early in the morning, right? You walk out to your car and see that it is cold and rainy, you send them back in for at the very least a rain jacket or a sweatshirt to bring with them.

The kids also walked out in the same conditions and could have made a different choice

Yes, but as parents of middle school kids, we have a duty to override the “I’m fine” and “it’s fine” and “whatevers” and prepare them for the day. Chaperones, teachers, coaches, directors, all these people have likely taken off work and are making an effort in order for your kids to have a special opportunity. The literal least you can do as a parent to make the day a success is…parent.

Letting them deal with the consequences of bad decisions is parenting.

[Anonymous]

I have a 12yo. I give guidance every day on what to wear. Sometimes she listens others times she chooses to wear sweatpants even though I told her the high is 80 and she’s got soccer practice.
Tweens have their own minds. I’ve told mine not to complain about the choices she makes if I gave her options ahead of time.

Thanks god chaperoning but some of our kids are jerks. Next time tell them you heard them the first time and you don’t want to hear it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps don’t chaperone again.

Yeah…get over it OP. Some kids will whine no matter what. If not because of the rain, because it’s too hot, too sunny, they’re hungry, thirsty, bored, etc.

[Anonymous]

The only people I feel for in this scenario are the teachers who have to deal every day.

[Anonymous]

To be fair, the forecast for Hershey was not accurate, it was clearly colder and rainier than forecasted.

[Anonymous]

I have chaperoned kids who were visibly sick and miserable. Their parents send them to school knowing they are sick because they actually hate their children and would not care if they are in pain or if their child actually dies.

Once you understand this abuse and injustice, you become compassionate and as a chaperone provide these unfortunate kids with food, drinks, umbrellas, rain-ponchos, tissues, sanitizer, insect repellant etc. If I could give these kids tylenol without getting into trouble, I would.

Unfortunately, jerks do become parents and then they try their best to kill their unwanted offsprings from 0-18 yrs of age. By giving occasional charity to these children, you are giving them a chance to become a kind human and not become a monster who shoots up other children in the school.

[Anonymous]

I don't believe that "tons" of parents bragged on Facebook that they planned, in advance, to send their kids on a field trip dressed inappropriately for the weather because "I don't have to hear my kid whine." Perhaps one idiot did that. But this isn't a widespread problem.

Also, kids do have to learn to dress appropriately for the weather. These were MS kids. That's prime age for this kind of dumb rebellion but it's also when parents have to let it go and let them learn. If you were talking about elementary age kids, I think you can just force the kids to wear real shoes and raincoats. A 13 yr old? You tell them it's raining and suggest proper attire, but if my kid walks downstairs in shorts and flip flops, all I say is "you're going to freeze in that" and then let it go. They have to learn.

I've chaperoned a million field trips of all ages, plus done like 24 dance recitals as a backstage parent. I also used to work at a summer camp and teach dance to 4-8 yr olds. I've been wrangling other people's kids for a long time and the truth is that whining is really common and you have to develop a thick skin and treat it the way you would in your own kids -- ignore it or suggest a solution if you think it will help. But it's always something. Some kids got wet and cold, oh well. They didn't die.

I would not have bought them ponchos or sweatshirts. I might have advocated for a change in schedule if a significant number if kids were miserable and there was a way to keep them out if the cold and rain for longer so they could at least warm up.