Slim picking dating in your fifties

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My newly divorced friend showed me her options on the dating apps. These older men she is matching with are not physically attractive or the ones who are don’t seem interested or obviously only want sex. I guess all the good ones are taken or prefer a younger woman.

My friend was beautiful in her twenties and thirties. She now looks like an average middle aged woman. She looks great for her age but she is still in her fifties.

I am 50, divorced, attractive, full set of hair, and interested in a genuine connection. However I am broke. Yes I have enough means to support myself, but my divorce set me back for retirement and I have freshman twins in college. I haven't gone on OLD yet. The reason I am still on the sideline is my assumption that most women my age probably want someone younger and are very skeptical about men my age. I am not interested in a younger women because younger women are a terrible match for men in their 50s. While I still have energy and I am passionate I am not delusional in thinking that I can keep up with a woman in her 30s. I am just being honest. Women in their 50s can date younger men because women are just more passionate than men. They always want to do stuff whereas most men my age are just fine being home or going out occasionally.

Your friend isn't playing her cards properly because our society is different now. It's not taboo for women in their 50s to date men in their 30s and 40s. So she should take advantage.

The problem is that men in their 30s and 40s don’t want to date women in their 50s. Who want to date grandmas?
Young men who date them are often gigolos or guys looking for a rich sugar mama.

You have a 10 year old grandma?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can agree date younger? I'm 50 but date 35 yo and up

Genuine question. At 50, what can you offer a man who is only 35? Aren't you concerned that a 35 years old can't find a woman his age and has to date someone 35 years older? What makes you so different from a 35 years old woman.

I find this trend of women advocating for dating younger men interesting. We men hear all the time from women that we are immature, we are man-child etc. So suddenly when you are 50, the 35 years old man is not immature or a man-child anymore?

I'm only 50, not 70! One of the most attractive things about me is I'm not looking for someone to marry and have kids with. I've travelled the world, have a great career, am very cultured and can talk to anyone. Are there 35 year old women like me? Sure, but they probably want to settle down if they haven't already.

You can be a man-child at any age. The worst are the old men children because they never learned. I wouldn't date a man-child, and I'm pretty sure a man-child would only date women 15-20 years younger than them. To me, the 35 yos I'm dating are fun and have tons of energy.

You just have a bias against men your own age the same way men your age have a bias against women your age. When people get to a certain age regardless of gender they tend to prefer a younger for partner whatever the reasons my be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their options are no worse than the husbands we have.

Omg, I just spit out my coffee.

[Anonymous]

Isn't this obvious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their options are no worse than the husbands we have.

Omg, I just spit out my coffee.

Right… most husbands by this age wouldn’t be very attractive to date if released into the wild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their options are no worse than the husbands we have.

Omg, I just spit out my coffee.

Right… most husbands by this age wouldn’t be very attractive to date if released into the wild.

lol into the wild

[Anonymous]

Get off the apps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can agree date younger? I'm 50 but date 35 yo and up

Genuine question. At 50, what can you offer a man who is only 35? Aren't you concerned that a 35 years old can't find a woman his age and has to date someone 35 years older? What makes you so different from a 35 years old woman.

I find this trend of women advocating for dating younger men interesting. We men hear all the time from women that we are immature, we are man-child etc. So suddenly when you are 50, the 35 years old man is not immature or a man-child anymore?

I'm only 50, not 70! One of the most attractive things about me is I'm not looking for someone to marry and have kids with. I've travelled the world, have a great career, am very cultured and can talk to anyone. Are there 35 year old women like me? Sure, but they probably want to settle down if they haven't already.

You can be a man-child at any age. The worst are the old men children because they never learned. I wouldn't date a man-child, and I'm pretty sure a man-child would only date women 15-20 years younger than them. To me, the 35 yos I'm dating are fun and have tons of energy.

You just have a bias against men your own age the same way men your age have a bias against women your age. When people get to a certain age regardless of gender they tend to prefer a younger for partner whatever the reasons my be.

I said I date 35 and up, so no bias here

[Anonymous]

50’s women I’ve found are going through menopause, some still with small children and demanding careers and don’t really want a man and aren’t interested in sex. They are hell bent on being “single mothers.” They want the convenience of a man when it suits them. They want a relationship without doing anything to actually make it one. But I might be projecting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 50s. Financially secure, college educated, and decent looks. Every time I've turned on Bumble or Hinge after a few months, my phone has exploded with people swiping right on me. Some are over 60. Most are also in their 50s like me. Some are in their 40s and a few are younger.

I'm a man. Maybe that makes a difference but I doubt it. When I've pursued attractive women in their 50s, they've told me I had lots of competition. I'm in a relationship now with someone in her 40s, but that wasn't always the situation.

You think? Lol

Of course it does. And as you continue you to age there will be 10+ available women for everyone of you in the 65+ living community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can agree date younger? I'm 50 but date 35 yo and up

Genuine question. At 50, what can you offer a man who is only 35? Aren't you concerned that a 35 years old can't find a woman his age and has to date someone 35 years older? What makes you so different from a 35 years old woman.

I find this trend of women advocating for dating younger men interesting. We men hear all the time from women that we are immature, we are man-child etc. So suddenly when you are 50, the 35 years old man is not immature or a man-child anymore?

I do too. I'm 54, and happily married, fortunately, but if I weren't, I would have zero interest in a 30 something man.

Yep. I have a 20-year old son. And 30 year old nephews.

Just gross. Frickin gross

Here is my opinion about this. I am 46 so I am genX. A lot of the women advocating for dating younger are fellow genX women. Now my theory is that feminist did a good job with millennial men. These millennial men don't follow gender norms like those us genX'ers. And these men also are not necessarily interested in having kids as much we did. So I think it's a win win situation for all those involved.

I’m mid-40s dating a man in his late 30s. That’s it exactly. I am not encountering the same issues with men in this age range. Obviously there are exceptions, but by and large there is an emotional maturity and self-awareness in the younger men. They are kinder and less selfish. This guy had a vasectomy because he doesn’t want kids and I think dating older women is a way to guarantee compatibility on that front. He is hot and nice. It may not be forever but it’s relaxing.

[Anonymous]

Apps tend to be a waste of time for middle aged guys because mediocre women have unrealistic expectations. DC striver type women with zero personality get tons of attention as long as their pics are halfway decent. Best advice for guys is to screen really hard or you're going to be wasting a lot of your valuable time. If you have the resources, meeting women overseas is a no brainer. Meet them outside of the apps and you will be shocked at the quality relative to what you can get in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My newly divorced friend showed me her options on the dating apps. These older men she is matching with are not physically attractive or the ones who are don’t seem interested or obviously only want sex. I guess all the good ones are taken or prefer a younger woman.

My friend was beautiful in her twenties and thirties. She now looks like an average middle aged woman. She looks great for her age but she is still in her fifties.

I am 50, divorced, attractive, full set of hair, and interested in a genuine connection. However I am broke. Yes I have enough means to support myself, but my divorce set me back for retirement and I have freshman twins in college. I haven't gone on OLD yet. The reason I am still on the sideline is my assumption that most women my age probably want someone younger and are very skeptical about men my age. I am not interested in a younger women because younger women are a terrible match for men in their 50s. While I still have energy and I am passionate I am not delusional in thinking that I can keep up with a woman in her 30s. I am just being honest. Women in their 50s can date younger men because women are just more passionate than men. They always want to do stuff whereas most men my age are just fine being home or going out occasionally.

Your friend isn't playing her cards properly because our society is different now. It's not taboo for women in their 50s to date men in their 30s and 40s. So she should take advantage.

The problem is that men in their 30s and 40s don’t want to date women in their 50s. Who want to date grandmas?
Young men who date them are often gigolos or guys looking for a rich sugar mama.

No, just…no. You are not tuned in to what is going on.

When women in their 40s and 50s divorce, they have had their kids. Most educated women in this cohort women that post on DCUM may not have married the best husband, but the dad‘s tend to be involved so not only are they not looking for a father for future children, they’re not looking for a stepfather either. After living with a man for 15-25 years or whatever, they don’t want a serious relationship. it actually matches up really well to what some younger men might be looking for.

No one is saying that a 50-year-old woman is meeting a 35-year-old man and going off into the sunset living happily after ever. But that’s the point, they don’t want that. IF they are interested in dating, and that is a big if because not all are, they want sex, someone to hang out with, and they’re OK that it’s going to end and that it’s casual and not exclusive. The 35-year-old man might get ready to settle down and meet someone around his age and that is fine. That’s what you are missing.

For women who do settle down and do want another long term relationship, some of the women in my friend group have reconnected with men from their past who are also getting divorced. So high school or college friends, former colleagues, etc. But they tend to be the same age.

It’s interesting that many men don’t realize the changes that women go through. Biology is very powerful. The things that they are looking for in their 20s are often who is going to be a good long term partner and father? When that stage passes and years have gone by after raising a family and nurturing a marriage…..those nurturing hormones take a hike, and they really have way less desire to please other people and nurture relationships.

So what they’re looking for in men dramatically changes. A lot of men on this board still act like divorced women in their mid 40s or older revert back to 25 and are desperate for a man to make them a mommy. It just couldn’t be further from the truth. In previous generations, widowers or divorced women often needed to get married again for financial reasons. But that’s no longer the case so we are seeing very different trends now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apps tend to be a waste of time for middle aged guys because mediocre women have unrealistic expectations. DC striver type women with zero personality get tons of attention as long as their pics are halfway decent. Best advice for guys is to screen really hard or you're going to be wasting a lot of your valuable time. If you have the resources, meeting women overseas is a no brainer. Meet them outside of the apps and you will be shocked at the quality relative to what you can get in the US.

Are you fat? Dad bod? Broke? I’m so tired of this “unrealistic expectations” crap. I’m a 51 YO woman, I make good money, and I haven’t let myself go. I don’t look 30 but I’m thin and fit, take care of my hair and skin, and as PP above says I’m not looking for someone to have kids with or to take care of me financially - just someone to have fun with (without being a sugar momma - we can take turns paying). So if I’m going to sleep with you, you better be attractive! If not, I’ll happily entertain myself with my friends and my vibrator. Bye!

[Anonymous]

Slim Pickens died in 1983 I don’t think he’s dating anymore