Reply to Slim picking dating in your fifties

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Slim picking dating in your fifties"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My newly divorced friend showed me her options on the dating apps. These older men she is matching with are not physically attractive or the ones who are don’t seem interested or obviously only want sex. I guess all the good ones are taken or prefer a younger woman.

My friend was beautiful in her twenties and thirties. She now looks like an average middle aged woman. She looks great for her age but she is still in her fifties. [/quote]

I am 50, divorced, attractive, full set of hair, and interested in a genuine connection. However I am broke. Yes I have enough means to support myself, but my divorce set me back for retirement and I have freshman twins in college. I haven't gone on OLD yet. The reason I am still on the sideline is my assumption that most women my age probably want someone younger and are very skeptical about men my age. I am not interested in a younger women because younger women are a terrible match for men in their 50s. While I still have energy and I am passionate I am not delusional in thinking that I can keep up with a woman in her 30s. I am just being honest. Women in their 50s can date younger men because women are just more passionate than men. They always want to do stuff whereas most men my age are just fine being home or going out occasionally.

[b]Your friend isn't playing her cards properly because our society is different now. It's not taboo for women in their 50s to date men in their 30s and 40s. So she should take advantage.[/b][/quote]

The problem is that men in their 30s and 40s don’t want to date women in their 50s. Who want to date grandmas? 
Young men who date them are often gigolos or guys looking for a rich sugar mama. 
[/quote]

No, just…no. You are not tuned in to what is going on.

When women in their 40s and 50s divorce, they have had their kids. Most educated women in this cohort women that post on DCUM may not have married the best husband, but the dad‘s tend to be involved so not only are they not looking for a father for future children, they’re not looking for a stepfather either. After living with a man for 15-25 years or whatever, they don’t want a serious relationship. it actually matches up really well to what some younger men might be looking for.

No one is saying that a 50-year-old woman is meeting a 35-year-old man and going off into the sunset living happily after ever. But that’s the point, they don’t want that. IF they are interested in dating, and that is a big if because not all are, they want sex, someone to hang out with, and they’re OK that it’s going to end and that it’s casual and not exclusive. The 35-year-old man might get ready to settle down and meet someone around his age and that is fine. That’s what you are missing.

For women who do settle down and do want another long term relationship, some of the women in my friend group have reconnected with men from their past who are also getting divorced. So high school or college friends, former colleagues, etc. But they tend to be the same age.

It’s interesting that many men don’t realize the changes that women go through. Biology is very powerful. The things that they are looking for in their 20s are often who is going to be a good long term partner and father? When that stage passes and years have gone by after raising a family and nurturing a marriage…..those nurturing hormones take a hike, and they really have way less desire to please other people and nurture relationships.

So what they’re looking for in men dramatically changes. A lot of men on this board still act like divorced women in their mid 40s or older revert back to 25 and are desperate for a man to make them a mommy. It just couldn’t be further from the truth. In previous generations, widowers or divorced women often needed to get married again for financial reasons. But that’s no longer the case so we are seeing very different trends now.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics