Girlfriend moved in and turned my life upside down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us more about things youre not allowed to use or eat in her home, and we will tdll you whether its over the top and time to run.

She is sensitive to scents and likes the s tire house to be mostly scent free or limited. No candles, no air fresheners,
bo harsh cleaners, switched my laundry detergent to dye free and got rid of the frantic softener. Told me to switch out my old spice or dove products for cleaner ones. Bought me a care package with said items she prefers.

She is very clean unless in the bathroom. She leaves all her products all over the sink.

She believes in all organic eating. I eat healthy but don’t care what is organic and what isn’t. Our grocery bill has sky rocketed because of it. She wants me to cut back on red meat, no alcohol, and drink super nasty stuff like beet juice and these health drinks.

That sounds LOVELY! People don't realize how much their places stink because of all those harmful toxins ("fragrances") they spew everywhere. Many are estrogen mimickers also, and will feminize you even more OP.

As far as the eating habits, she is waaaaay off and you should teach her how to eat healthy and in moderation. Beet juice? Does she want diabetes?? No red meat? That's crazy talk. Sounds cultish.

Just use a vinegar water mix to clean everything and be done with it.

As for beet juice Jsut say No Thanks. How did that go over? Borscht soup takes good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us more about things youre not allowed to use or eat in her home, and we will tdll you whether its over the top and time to run.

She is sensitive to scents and likes the s tire house to be mostly scent free or limited. No candles, no air fresheners,
bo harsh cleaners, switched my laundry detergent to dye free and got rid of the frantic softener. Told me to switch out my old spice or dove products for cleaner ones. Bought me a care package with said items she prefers.

She is very clean unless in the bathroom. She leaves all her products all over the sink.

She believes in all organic eating. I eat healthy but don’t care what is organic and what isn’t. Our grocery bill has sky rocketed because of it. She wants me to cut back on red meat, no alcohol, and drink super nasty stuff like beet juice and these health drinks.

That sounds LOVELY! People don't realize how much their places stink because of all those harmful toxins ("fragrances") they spew everywhere. Many are estrogen mimickers also, and will feminize you even more OP.

As far as the eating habits, she is waaaaay off and you should teach her how to eat healthy and in moderation. Beet juice? Does she want diabetes?? No red meat? That's crazy talk. Sounds cultish.

The guy was using old spice (uh really?) and his fabric softener when they dated. She knew what he smelled like.

Yeah, and she was wanting to clean him up.
Old Spice..... eh, might could handle that, afterall it has a cute ship on the bottle. But a single man using fabric softener..... that's a red flag if there ever was one. Sounds like Niles Crane.

Why is that a red flag? Many single men use fabric softener. Your misogyny is showing.

No one uses fabric softener. Totally unnecessary chemicals.

[Anonymous]

She is making your life exponentially better and healthier. You should be grateful.

[Anonymous]

Make a mixed veggi (+ small amount of fruit) juice - beet, carrots, spinach, kale, ginger, (green apple or orange or melon or pomegranate) and lemon.

It will taste amazing and is super good for you. You won't taste the beets and it will lower the glycymic index of the beets.

[Anonymous]

She seems to have a mental disorder. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

It would’ve been great to know/notice those things before moving in, but the next best thing is to know now before you would have proposed and it’s just a breakup and a move out.

FWIW, my BF was effectively living in my house for 3 months before I asked him to move in. I already knew how messy he was, what state he’d leave the bathroom in, that he never pushed in a chair or closed a cabinet, and that he’d only put half the dishes in the washer after dinner before stopping. Things actually got better once he officially moved in.

Did you not spend time in each other’s spaces before moving in? You don’t know she was a non-tox health food freak?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us more about things youre not allowed to use or eat in her home, and we will tdll you whether its over the top and time to run.

She is sensitive to scents and likes the s tire house to be mostly scent free or limited. No candles, no air fresheners,
bo harsh cleaners, switched my laundry detergent to dye free and got rid of the frantic softener. Told me to switch out my old spice or dove products for cleaner ones. Bought me a care package with said items she prefers.

She is very clean unless in the bathroom. She leaves all her products all over the sink.

She believes in all organic eating. I eat healthy but don’t care what is organic and what isn’t. Our grocery bill has sky rocketed because of it. She wants me to cut back on red meat, no alcohol, and drink super nasty stuff like beet juice and these health drinks.

My now-husband and I had a big conflict when it came to air fresheners and that sh**. I HATE it - it triggers my allergies and I think it's disgusting. Luckily he was willing to compromise there.

I'm DEFINITELY not some tiktok clean living person - but those products do have endocrine disruptors you might want to avoid: https://www.mdpi.com/2673-396X/5/3/27

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You learned that you are not compatible and you don't want a life with her. Break up and move on.

This is why you live together before you marry - to see if you’re compatible. Now that you’ve figured out you’re not, it’s time to end things before you get too entrenched. Don’t get a dog, don’t combine finances - cut your losses so you can both move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't like how easy people tell others to break up/divorce, because for me I would never be able to leave. How do people do that?

What ?

[Anonymous]

A lot of your girlfriend's tendencies sound like mine (though I love a neat bathroom), but those were things I was doing that my now DH slowly chose to adopt over the years we have lived together. I think her approach, not necessarily the changes she's asking/demanding, that may be the issue.

Have you tried talking to her about that? You can even say that this is making you wonder if you are truly compatible. Maybe she doesn't realize that demanding these immediate changes is having a negative impact on your relationship?

[Anonymous]

Girlfriend needs her own place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love her but moving in with her has ruined our relationship. She is super clean and very judgmental if I don’t do XYZ in a timely manner. She lives a
non-toxic life and has banned most of the common things I’m used to using. She has pushed her health foods on me. She takes up a lot of space and is messy when it comes to her belongings. This isn’t jitters..I just don’t like living with her.

If you've made up your mind, then end things.
If you still want to work it out, then COMMUNICATE.

FTR, I am a lot like what your describe. THere are some things that are non-negotiable for me but I live with other things. And I don't push my vegetarianism on my family, who eats meat. Though since I don't cook it, we eat very little meat (they are free to cook it if they want to have it).

I also want to say, it seems like YOU also want things 100% your way. That's not reasonable, either. So communicate on whether you can find some middle ground there. If not, well, it wasn't meant to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us more about things youre not allowed to use or eat in her home, and we will tdll you whether its over the top and time to run.

She is sensitive to scents and likes the s tire house to be mostly scent free or limited. No candles, no air fresheners,
bo harsh cleaners, switched my laundry detergent to dye free and got rid of the frantic softener. Told me to switch out my old spice or dove products for cleaner ones. Bought me a care package with said items she prefers.

She is very clean unless in the bathroom. She leaves all her products all over the sink.

She believes in all organic eating. I eat healthy but don’t care what is organic and what isn’t. Our grocery bill has sky rocketed because of it. She wants me to cut back on red meat, no alcohol, and drink super nasty stuff like beet juice and these health drinks.

That sounds LOVELY! People don't realize how much their places stink because of all those harmful toxins ("fragrances") they spew everywhere. Many are estrogen mimickers also, and will feminize you even more OP.

As far as the eating habits, she is waaaaay off and you should teach her how to eat healthy and in moderation. Beet juice? Does she want diabetes?? No red meat? That's crazy talk. Sounds cultish.

The guy was using old spice (uh really?) and his fabric softener when they dated. She knew what he smelled like.

Old Spice was probably soap or deodorant. Seriously who cares about that stuff? Fabric softener used in moderation isn't going to leave a scent on your clothes. She sounds nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us more about things youre not allowed to use or eat in her home, and we will tdll you whether its over the top and time to run.

She is sensitive to scents and likes the s tire house to be mostly scent free or limited. No candles, no air fresheners,
bo harsh cleaners, switched my laundry detergent to dye free and got rid of the frantic softener. Told me to switch out my old spice or dove products for cleaner ones. Bought me a care package with said items she prefers.

She is very clean unless in the bathroom. She leaves all her products all over the sink.

She believes in all organic eating. I eat healthy but don’t care what is organic and what isn’t. Our grocery bill has sky rocketed because of it. She wants me to cut back on red meat, no alcohol, and drink super nasty stuff like beet juice and these health drinks.

So, I have to agree with her on the scents. I HATE strong scents and a lot of that stuff is problematic from a health perspective. I posted already and this is one thing that I would need concessions on from my partner. But I would not budge (much) on the food. I'm in favor of organic but not everything needs to be (for me, pasture raised hens for eggs are non-negotiable but most other things are). And there is no chance I'm eating beet juice or giving up alcohol. I'd communicate that to her and tell her that nagging you about it is causing problems.

In short: find the middle ground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would’ve been great to know/notice those things before moving in, but the next best thing is to know now before you would have proposed and it’s just a breakup and a move out.

FWIW, my BF was effectively living in my house for 3 months before I asked him to move in. I already knew how messy he was, what state he’d leave the bathroom in, that he never pushed in a chair or closed a cabinet, and that he’d only put half the dishes in the washer after dinner before stopping. Things actually got better once he officially moved in.

Did you not spend time in each other’s spaces before moving in? You don’t know she was a non-tox health food freak?

My DH is like that. After 20 yrs of marriage he's started closing cabinets (and I also make sure our kitchens now have self close hinges, ha! )but the chair thing lingers. oh well.