High stats kid with disappointing end results?

[Anonymous]

Sure. My kid was sad she didn’t do better. Applies to 6 top reaches. Waitlisted at 2, rejected by the other 4 which were all her faves. She will end up at a school that won’t really impress anytime. But she and we need to remember that was never the point she will have great opportunities where she was admitted and she has all the smarts and skills she needs to go far in life.

[Anonymous]

Are your schools not using Naviance or Maia learning?

Our experience with it helped tremendously in terms of setting expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spent four years telling my kid that he should do his best and if he got top grades, good ECs, high scores that it would prepare him to succeed and get a lottery ticket. He got straight As with the exception of an honors science class sophomore year, 88.87. Our school district doesn’t round up and he had the bad luck to get a teacher who didn’t allow retakes or extra credit. I assured him that two semesters of Bs would not ruin his future. The only kids who got As in that class were three cheaters which really annoyed him. He had excellent ECs which were his authentically. He took a bunch of dual enrollment units and as many APs as the school would allow. His essays were great and not written by someone else. I told him how proud we were but to prepared for things to go differently. His older cousin was valedictorian, perfect SATs and was shut out from all but one of his safeties. My son’s guidance counselor was overly encouraging telling him he had an excellent shot at his dream school.

My son did not get into his dream school or his targets but got into a few safeties. He’s crushed. To make matters worst, the two kids in his school that got in lied on their apps, cheated their way through school, and paid someone else to write their essays. He tutored them in several subjects and always went out of his way to help other students. He’s really struggling with reality that being ethical and helping others doesn’t pay off but lying and cheating does.

You both need to stay in your lane and get over it. No comparisons to other kids. Don’t bring it up with your DC again, don’t mention the other kids, and just get really excited about his choice. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spent four years telling my kid that he should do his best and if he got top grades, good ECs, high scores that it would prepare him to succeed and get a lottery ticket. He got straight As with the exception of an honors science class sophomore year, 88.87. Our school district doesn’t round up and he had the bad luck to get a teacher who didn’t allow retakes or extra credit. I assured him that two semesters of Bs would not ruin his future. The only kids who got As in that class were three cheaters which really annoyed him. He had excellent ECs which were his authentically. He took a bunch of dual enrollment units and as many APs as the school would allow. His essays were great and not written by someone else. I told him how proud we were but to prepared for things to go differently. His older cousin was valedictorian, perfect SATs and was shut out from all but one of his safeties. My son’s guidance counselor was overly encouraging telling him he had an excellent shot at his dream school.

My son did not get into his dream school or his targets but got into a few safeties. He’s crushed. To make matters worst, the two kids in his school that got in lied on their apps, cheated their way through school, and paid someone else to write their essays. He tutored them in several subjects and always went out of his way to help other students. He’s really struggling with reality that being ethical and helping others doesn’t pay off but lying and cheating does.

Well, let your son have some senioritis and start goofing off. Life is full of disappointments. Sorry to hear he has brought great shame to you and your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spent four years telling my kid that he should do his best and if he got top grades, good ECs, high scores that it would prepare him to succeed and get a lottery ticket. He got straight As with the exception of an honors science class sophomore year, 88.87. Our school district doesn’t round up and he had the bad luck to get a teacher who didn’t allow retakes or extra credit. I assured him that two semesters of Bs would not ruin his future. The only kids who got As in that class were three cheaters which really annoyed him. He had excellent ECs which were his authentically. He took a bunch of dual enrollment units and as many APs as the school would allow. His essays were great and not written by someone else. I told him how proud we were but to prepared for things to go differently. His older cousin was valedictorian, perfect SATs and was shut out from all but one of his safeties. My son’s guidance counselor was overly encouraging telling him he had an excellent shot at his dream school.

My son did not get into his dream school or his targets but got into a few safeties. He’s crushed. To make matters worst, the two kids in his school that got in lied on their apps, cheated their way through school, and paid someone else to write their essays. He tutored them in several subjects and always went out of his way to help other students. He’s really struggling with reality that being ethical and helping others doesn’t pay off but lying and cheating does.

Well, welcome to the real world (where yes some people successfully lie and cheat their way to betterment).

However, how do 2 different Top students only get into their safeties? What were the acceptance rates at your targets, because I find it hard to believe if you apply to 3-4 Targets with the right definition that you don't get into at least 1.
For example: Target--acceptance rate 20/25%+, your kids stats 50%+. However I made all my kids make sure at least 2 targets are with acceptance rates 30%+ and my kid's stats were 75%+. So a "Strong Target".
My kid got into all their targets, and even one reach (NEU for Global Scholars--1st year abroad--reach because of the low acceptance rates they get with 100K+ applicants).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m convinced if schools went back to providing class rank to parents, there would be a lot less of such surprising results. The colleges still calculate for admission purposes.

Bigger issue is that there aren't enough top spots for top kids. Especially this year with the expanded birth rate and the emphasis on taking FGLI and rural kids. These colleges can't fill their classes with DMV high achievers.

Only partially. Grade inflation and superscoring disguise fact kids aren’t really in top 5 to 10 percent of their class,

Maybe at your school but not ours. There are tons of high stat kids and only so many slots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your schools not using Naviance or Maia learning?

Our experience with it helped tremendously in terms of setting expectations.

But hard to use these when the gpa is from graduation and you are applying with your gpa from 11th. It can go up so much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spent four years telling my kid that he should do his best and if he got top grades, good ECs, high scores that it would prepare him to succeed and get a lottery ticket. He got straight As with the exception of an honors science class sophomore year, 88.87. Our school district doesn’t round up and he had the bad luck to get a teacher who didn’t allow retakes or extra credit. I assured him that two semesters of Bs would not ruin his future. The only kids who got As in that class were three cheaters which really annoyed him. He had excellent ECs which were his authentically. He took a bunch of dual enrollment units and as many APs as the school would allow. His essays were great and not written by someone else. I told him how proud we were but to prepared for things to go differently. His older cousin was valedictorian, perfect SATs and was shut out from all but one of his safeties. My son’s guidance counselor was overly encouraging telling him he had an excellent shot at his dream school.

My son did not get into his dream school or his targets but got into a few safeties. He’s crushed. To make matters worst, the two kids in his school that got in lied on their apps, cheated their way through school, and paid someone else to write their essays. He tutored them in several subjects and always went out of his way to help other students. He’s really struggling with reality that being ethical and helping others doesn’t pay off but lying and cheating does.

That's a tough lesson, and I could see teens falling into that trap. Why play by the rules when you don't get rewarded in the end?

There will always be someone who is gaining an "unfair advantage".

My college kid chose to take "Freshman Organic Chem" and place out of Chem 101/102 because it was allowed with a 5 on AP. What they didn't know is that puts them in class with other freshman who actually had already taken Organic Chemistry in HS (either in USA or internationally) but had to retake it to get credit (no AP Orgo available). Oh, and most of the kids in the direct admit to Med school (4+4) were in that class. So while Organic Chem typically has a low curve (40-50% is typical at many schools), the curve in this class was set at 86-88% for most midterms and final. My kid was happy to get a B/B+. As they had never had Organic Chem before. Had they waited and taken regular Orgo, they'd have easily gotten an A.
But you know what, it doesn't matter, they are an engineering major, not premed, so the grade doesn't matter, they learned the material did decent in class and are now in their more advanced more interesting Engineering courses

[Anonymous]

OP, this isn't about you. It's about your kid. If your student is happy and can make it work, that is all that matters. I hope you are not acting disappointed around your child, because it will be picked up on and send the message that you are disappointed in your child. I've done the college thing before, and it can be humbling for parents who have not been through it before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m convinced if schools went back to providing class rank to parents, there would be a lot less of such surprising results. The colleges still calculate for admission purposes.

Bigger issue is that there aren't enough top spots for top kids. Especially this year with the expanded birth rate and the emphasis on taking FGLI and rural kids. These colleges can't fill their classes with DMV high achievers.

You mention FGLI and rural as if they are somehow lesser than our precious DMV darlings....well, they aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m convinced if schools went back to providing class rank to parents, there would be a lot less of such surprising results. The colleges still calculate for admission purposes.

Bigger issue is that there aren't enough top spots for top kids. Especially this year with the expanded birth rate and the emphasis on taking FGLI and rural kids. These colleges can't fill their classes with DMV high achievers.

You mention FGLI and rural as if they are somehow lesser than our precious DMV darlings....well, they aren't.

+1
Those kids are excelling/being the best that they are capable of in the environment they have had for 12-18 years. Most of them shine when given the chance with others who "grew up with so many more privileges".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone with high stats kids, who didn't get where you thought they should? Thought mine would land a few T25s, but didn't. She got into NYU, UMD and GWU, which are good choices but still feel a bit bummed.

Anyone experiencing this? How to get over it.

All of us with high stat kids have at least one school that said no if you aimed at T10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh ... NYU is so many kids' dream school...
I can't read this kind of post.

Oh, please. It is like someone posting that their kid can’t break above a 1450 on the SAT and you having a kid who can’t get above a 1250 so you “can’t read that kind of post.” Different kids have different goals and hopes…a high stats kid who worked for years towards a goal as the right to feel disappointed when it didn’t pan out and a safety becomes the best of the not-hoped for options.

Oh please. Don’t be a white lotus. So many high stats kids didn’t get into T25, it’s just a lottery at the top. Plus NYU is really a T25 in substance.

And yet, if the kid doesn't want it as anything other than a true backup - then the kid is entitled to be disappointed. I don't think most high stats kids want their safeties as their #1..a few...but not most.

Signed - A white lotus (whatever that is)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spent four years telling my kid that he should do his best and if he got top grades, good ECs, high scores that it would prepare him to succeed and get a lottery ticket. He got straight As with the exception of an honors science class sophomore year, 88.87. Our school district doesn’t round up and he had the bad luck to get a teacher who didn’t allow retakes or extra credit. I assured him that two semesters of Bs would not ruin his future. The only kids who got As in that class were three cheaters which really annoyed him. He had excellent ECs which were his authentically. He took a bunch of dual enrollment units and as many APs as the school would allow. His essays were great and not written by someone else. I told him how proud we were but to prepared for things to go differently. His older cousin was valedictorian, perfect SATs and was shut out from all but one of his safeties. My son’s guidance counselor was overly encouraging telling him he had an excellent shot at his dream school.

My son did not get into his dream school or his targets but got into a few safeties. He’s crushed. To make matters worst, the two kids in his school that got in lied on their apps, cheated their way through school, and paid someone else to write their essays. He tutored them in several subjects and always went out of his way to help other students. He’s really struggling with reality that being ethical and helping others doesn’t pay off but lying and cheating does.

Well, let your son have some senioritis and start goofing off. Life is full of disappointments. Sorry to hear he has brought great shame to you and your family.

Pretty sure the cheaters are the ones from families who would feel great shame in not getting in. We have that cheating, lying crap at our school too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m convinced if schools went back to providing class rank to parents, there would be a lot less of such surprising results. The colleges still calculate for admission purposes.

Bigger issue is that there aren't enough top spots for top kids. Especially this year with the expanded birth rate and the emphasis on taking FGLI and rural kids. These colleges can't fill their classes with DMV high achievers.

Only partially. Grade inflation and superscoring disguise fact kids aren’t really in top 5 to 10 percent of their class,

Maybe at your school but not ours. There are tons of high stat kids and only so many slots.

But it can’t be so, that’s my point. Some of those kids are more talented than others.