sleepover -- how to explain WHY to my child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should just leave it as you don’t know the parents and so it’s a safety issue. You won’t let her sleep at a strangers house. It doesn’t matter whether she believes you or not, and you don’t need to over explain yourself here. You’re the parent and that’s the rule.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is pretty cute she thought it was because you would miss her, though!

So cute!! My child has ASD too, OP so it made me smile, particularly. Thanks for sharing!

[Anonymous]

Let her go and pick her up at 9 or whatever we you are comfortable with. My son has a friend who is a girl and she sleeps over with their friend group. They are 10. No one is getting molested.

[Anonymous]

Is no one going to address the ridiculous assumption that 9 and 10 year old prepubescent boys are predators?!!! It’s just as likely that your daughter is and both scenarios are ridiculous.

Of course you’ll want to know the other parents. Pick up the phone and give them a call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her go and pick her up at 9 or whatever we you are comfortable with. My son has a friend who is a girl and she sleeps over with their friend group. They are 10. No one is getting molested.

Absolutely! They are 10 FFS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I agree with the people saying it’s ok to tell an 8 yo about SA. Mine knows that there are bad adults who like to look at and touch kids private parts, and if that ever happens to her she can say no and she can tell us and we will always believe her. It reduces the likelihood of your kid being abused if they know what it is and know it’s ok to talk to you about.

What she’ll take from this conversation and relay back to these boys is that mommy thinks they will molest her or the dad will. Is that the goal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her go and pick her up at 9 or whatever we you are comfortable with. My son has a friend who is a girl and she sleeps over with their friend group. They are 10. No one is getting molested.

Absolutely! They are 10 FFS!

Sorry but "They are 10" means absolutely nothing in terms of "They aren't being molested"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just have a blanket no sleepover rule, which my husband insisted on before my kids were even born. I agreed based on experiences I had at sleepovers as a child. We’ve always told them “no sleepovers” just like we’ve always said “no pets”. They protest occasionally but it’s never been that big of a deal.

wow are you lame

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her go and pick her up at 9 or whatever we you are comfortable with. My son has a friend who is a girl and she sleeps over with their friend group. They are 10. No one is getting molested.

Absolutely! They are 10 FFS!

Sorry but "They are 10" means absolutely nothing in terms of "They aren't being molested"

Neither does the gender mix of the group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is no one going to address the ridiculous assumption that 9 and 10 year old prepubescent boys are predators?!!! It’s just as likely that your daughter is and both scenarios are ridiculous.

Of course you’ll want to know the other parents. Pick up the phone and give them a call.

I am the parent of boys. I would not have wanted my boys having opposite sex sleepovers at 8, 9, 10. Not because I think they had any romantic interest at that age, nor do I think they would have non-consensual interactions at any age. But I want to build habits early, and starting out with no sleepovers with the opposite sex is easier than trying to figure out exactly when to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just have a blanket no sleepover rule, which my husband insisted on before my kids were even born. I agreed based on experiences I had at sleepovers as a child. We’ve always told them “no sleepovers” just like we’ve always said “no pets”. They protest occasionally but it’s never been that big of a deal.

wow are you lame

My daughter agrees with you. I can live with it, as being the cool mom isn't high on my priority list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just have a blanket no sleepover rule, which my husband insisted on before my kids were even born. I agreed based on experiences I had at sleepovers as a child. We’ve always told them “no sleepovers” just like we’ve always said “no pets”. They protest occasionally but it’s never been that big of a deal.

wow are you lame

My daughter agrees with you. I can live with it, as being the cool mom isn't high on my priority list.

Agreed! I’m no here to be their buddy. I’m here to protect them. They can be mad occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is no one going to address the ridiculous assumption that 9 and 10 year old prepubescent boys are predators?!!! It’s just as likely that your daughter is and both scenarios are ridiculous.

Of course you’ll want to know the other parents. Pick up the phone and give them a call.

I was sexually assaulted by a 10 year old boy on the bus when I was 10. He pinned me down on the seat and fondled my breasts.

You just never know. That’s why a mixed aged sleepover at that age is a terrible idea.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered having a conversation with the parents about whether a sleep under is a viable option? Find out a little more about the party plans. Tell them that she’s never been to an all boys party, but she really wants to go. My older daughter went to a couple all boys (non sleepover) parties when she was little and didn’t like them.

I have two girls and lots of sleepover experience. We have never had a boy invite them for a sleepover, but I knew a girl in the neighborhood who would do 1:1 sleepovers with a boy in 3rd/4th grades. My girls have started insisting on sleepover birthday parties EVERY year. I warmly support any parents/kids who prefer a sleep under. Parents simply text me that their kids have morning plans and they need their sleep at home. You could fabricate morning plans for your daughter.

I’ve dealt with the issues of being responsible for a child late at night who needs their parents. Twice, I dealt with parents who were unavailable when I needed them. Once for an 11yo who desperately wanted the pajamas she had forgotten at home and once for a 9yo who couldn’t fall asleep (was keeping everyone up) and needed to be driven home at 1am (despite the fact I couldn’t make contact with parents).

PSA - don’t silence your phones when your kid is sleeping at someone else’s house… even if they’ve been there before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is no one going to address the ridiculous assumption that 9 and 10 year old prepubescent boys are predators?!!! It’s just as likely that your daughter is and both scenarios are ridiculous.

Of course you’ll want to know the other parents. Pick up the phone and give them a call.

I don’t think they are predators, but I also don’t think mixed gender sleepovers are appropriate after maybe age 8. Not that you would be doing them before anyway…