Anyone enjoy youth sports but shocked at the politics?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best is when your kid is just fine but isn’t going to play D1, not going to play on the top team, and he is totally fine with that. He gets plenty of playing time on his mid -level travel team, practice isn’t that serious, games are sufficiently competitive. And, parents all have the same mindset.

Actually, the best is when D1 was never the goal. You didn't waste your kids youth with excessive travel---but went to teams with the best coaches and 'player development' and your kids had time to focus on academics and other things they enjoyed--and their own training of their own choosing (backyard).

And then they get to the end of HS and their talent becomes obvious. We didn't spend a 1/4 of the $ or travel time and our kid ended up getting on a D1 team which was his own personal goal (actually has aspirations beyond that) and we let him direct the ship with regard to that.

WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A HIGHLIGHT TAPE because we never filmed. He didn't get clips until senior year.

I won't lie and tell you it hasn't been wonderful after getting cut from HS watching my kid play out his dreams.

I love this. Thanks for sharing. What sport?

Soccer- boys

Nice which school? I’m interested in doing something similar

The school of hard knocks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I raised my kids to care about things that matter. They play sports for fun and exercise.

Do tell, what do your kids care about?

Academics of course. Duh

Academics I feel is even worse. Explain to me why the "Well to do schools" are so much sought after? I mean there are plenty of good sports teams from East Rockville for example. If I take my kid somehow to the "rich" schools, will they get the same opportunities the celebrity students get. I seriously doubt it.

I feel sorry for smart (smart) kids that don't have any athletic talents and are academically minded but in poor families. No way those kids will have any outlet. Maybe they'll make a magnet program. All those tests are just too easy to fake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I raised my kids to care about things that matter. They play sports for fun and exercise.

Do tell, what do your kids care about?

Academics of course. Duh

Academics I feel is even worse. Explain to me why the "Well to do schools" are so much sought after? I mean there are plenty of good sports teams from East Rockville for example. If I take my kid somehow to the "rich" schools, will they get the same opportunities the celebrity students get. I seriously doubt it.

I feel sorry for smart (smart) kids that don't have any athletic talents and are academically minded but in poor families. No way those kids will have any outlet. Maybe they'll make a magnet program. All those tests are just too easy to fake.

The “academics” people can’t justify their unhealthy obsession with THE BEST schools and THE MOST enrichment. They just have a gut feeling that academics is the correct answer. Shocking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take a youth team of, let’s say, 10 kids. It will pretty much always go something like this:

1 kid: clearly the most skilled kid on the team, very obvious
2 kids: clearly behind on skills, very obvious
7 kids: average, fine, not remarkable either way

“Politics” won’t matter much for the first 3 kids, but it will influence the experience of the remaining 7- sometimes heavily. Parent friendships/influence, kid friendships, other social factors etc etc.

I have never seen it go any other way. Literally ever. 3 kids. Some sports and teams it will only matter a little (pretty tolerable), other times it will matter a lot (can be hard to take).

All you can do is try to keep your kids playing in teams/sports where the politics are there (they always will be), but at a tolerable level. It is also important to ask yourself if it is bothering your child, or just bothering YOU. Often the kids are fine and having fun either way. Sometimes the kids do notice or feel a bit demoralized- in that case, likely time to move to a different team or organization.

These people put their kids into team sports, give away their power to coaches, and come here and complain. Am I missing something?

My kids do swimming and tennis. In tennis and swimming, the results are recorded so there are NO favourtism or nepotism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a youth team of, let’s say, 10 kids. It will pretty much always go something like this:

1 kid: clearly the most skilled kid on the team, very obvious
2 kids: clearly behind on skills, very obvious
7 kids: average, fine, not remarkable either way

“Politics” won’t matter much for the first 3 kids, but it will influence the experience of the remaining 7- sometimes heavily. Parent friendships/influence, kid friendships, other social factors etc etc.

I have never seen it go any other way. Literally ever. 3 kids. Some sports and teams it will only matter a little (pretty tolerable), other times it will matter a lot (can be hard to take).

All you can do is try to keep your kids playing in teams/sports where the politics are there (they always will be), but at a tolerable level. It is also important to ask yourself if it is bothering your child, or just bothering YOU. Often the kids are fine and having fun either way. Sometimes the kids do notice or feel a bit demoralized- in that case, likely time to move to a different team or organization.

These people put their kids into team sports, give away their power to coaches, and come here and complain. Am I missing something?

My kids do swimming and tennis. In tennis and swimming, the results are recorded so there are NO favourtism or nepotism.

Yeah, you’re missing something. Some kids prefer team sports over individual sports. I have two like this. I was a swimmer and tried to get them into it. But they just don’t get motivated by the individual aspect. They like the excitement of a team competition and the social interaction that is inherent to the team practices and games. They do like summer swim because it has some of that. But winter swim is very individual before high school, and you can’t make our high school team without being a good club swimmer already.

I do like seeing how unselfish my kids are on a team setting — they truly care more about the game outcome than how they played individually.

I’ve seen some parents push individual over team sports despite what their kids actually prefer. I think that’s the wrong way to do it and it will backfire. A love of the sport is needed for long term enjoyment and success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
These people put their kids into team sports, give away their power to coaches, and come here and complain. Am I missing something?

My kids do swimming and tennis. In tennis and swimming, the results are recorded so there are NO favourtism or nepotism.

Yeah, you’re missing something. Some kids prefer team sports over individual sports. I have two like this. I was a swimmer and tried to get them into it. But they just don’t get motivated by the individual aspect. They like the excitement of a team competition and the social interaction that is inherent to the team practices and games. They do like summer swim because it has some of that. But winter swim is very individual before high school, and you can’t make our high school team without being a good club swimmer already.

I do like seeing how unselfish my kids are on a team setting — they truly care more about the game outcome than how they played individually.

I’ve seen some parents push individual over team sports despite what their kids actually prefer. I think that’s the wrong way to do it and it will backfire. A love of the sport is needed for long term enjoyment and success.

That's exactly my point. Parents need to do a better job at explaining to kids about team vs. individual sports. In team sports, especially without performance metrics, he/she might not make the team even if he/she is better than those that make the team, due to favoritism, nepotism, or both. The parents themselves should already know this about team sports, and they should not complain when it actually happens to their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a youth team of, let’s say, 10 kids. It will pretty much always go something like this:

1 kid: clearly the most skilled kid on the team, very obvious
2 kids: clearly behind on skills, very obvious
7 kids: average, fine, not remarkable either way

“Politics” won’t matter much for the first 3 kids, but it will influence the experience of the remaining 7- sometimes heavily. Parent friendships/influence, kid friendships, other social factors etc etc.

I have never seen it go any other way. Literally ever. 3 kids. Some sports and teams it will only matter a little (pretty tolerable), other times it will matter a lot (can be hard to take).

All you can do is try to keep your kids playing in teams/sports where the politics are there (they always will be), but at a tolerable level. It is also important to ask yourself if it is bothering your child, or just bothering YOU. Often the kids are fine and having fun either way. Sometimes the kids do notice or feel a bit demoralized- in that case, likely time to move to a different team or organization.

These people put their kids into team sports, give away their power to coaches, and come here and complain. Am I missing something?

My kids do swimming and tennis. In tennis and swimming, the results are recorded so there are NO favourtism or nepotism.

Yeah, you’re missing something. Some kids prefer team sports over individual sports. I have two like this. I was a swimmer and tried to get them into it. But they just don’t get motivated by the individual aspect. They like the excitement of a team competition and the social interaction that is inherent to the team practices and games. They do like summer swim because it has some of that. But winter swim is very individual before high school, and you can’t make our high school team without being a good club swimmer already.

I do like seeing how unselfish my kids are on a team setting — they truly care more about the game outcome than how they played individually.

I’ve seen some parents push individual over team sports despite what their kids actually prefer. I think that’s the wrong way to do it and it will backfire. A love of the sport is needed for long term enjoyment and success.

Both Agassi and Graf pushed their own kids into team sports because they found their own tennis experience depressing and isolating.

I know one played on the USC baseball team (maybe graduated) and they live hanging out with other parents and seeing their kid just having a great time with teammates.

Obviously, they are extreme examples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
These people put their kids into team sports, give away their power to coaches, and come here and complain. Am I missing something?

My kids do swimming and tennis. In tennis and swimming, the results are recorded so there are NO favourtism or nepotism.

Yeah, you’re missing something. Some kids prefer team sports over individual sports. I have two like this. I was a swimmer and tried to get them into it. But they just don’t get motivated by the individual aspect. They like the excitement of a team competition and the social interaction that is inherent to the team practices and games. They do like summer swim because it has some of that. But winter swim is very individual before high school, and you can’t make our high school team without being a good club swimmer already.

I do like seeing how unselfish my kids are on a team setting — they truly care more about the game outcome than how they played individually.

I’ve seen some parents push individual over team sports despite what their kids actually prefer. I think that’s the wrong way to do it and it will backfire. A love of the sport is needed for long term enjoyment and success.

That's exactly my point. Parents need to do a better job at explaining to kids about team vs. individual sports. In team sports, especially without performance metrics, he/she might not make the team even if he/she is better than those that make the team, due to favoritism, nepotism, or both. The parents themselves should already know this about team sports, and they should not complain when it actually happens to their kids.

I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

I call BS on this. Swimming is based on individual result time at the tryouts, and all results are recorded. Coaches just can't put a slower swimmer on the team and leave a faster swimmer off the team based on the result of the tryouts. It just does NOT happen, unless the school itself wants to invite lawsuits from parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

I call BS on this. Swimming is based on individual result time at the tryouts, and all results are recorded. Coaches just can't put a slower swimmer on the team and leave a faster swimmer off the team based on the result of the tryouts. It just does NOT happen, unless the school itself wants to invite lawsuits from parents.

They can when the team hides the results. Our summer team does this and it’s BS. Can only see the few times that get posted on NVSL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is just not that good

From a loser who has to suck up to the coach and be his buddy, huh??

I love that stupid excuse.

My kid was scouted professionally and trains off-season with a pro team while playing D1.

That idiotic response is typical of all the parents with suck bag kids there solely due to politics and @ss-kissing.

I never once emailed or contacted a coach, TD, HS official the entire time my kid was playing—even in the face of some pretty ridiculous stuff.

What do you mean D1? College?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

I call BS on this. Swimming is based on individual result time at the tryouts, and all results are recorded. Coaches just can't put a slower swimmer on the team and leave a faster swimmer off the team based on the result of the tryouts. It just does NOT happen, unless the school itself wants to invite lawsuits from parents.

First, lawsuits aren't free and maybe 1% of parents would be willing to hire a lawyer and pursue that route.

Second, PP said their kid swam faster on the summer rec team. If a coach wants to be a d**k, then it's easy to write down tryout times showing the other kid is faster.

Third, if both swimmers in the scheme of things are just average/below-average contributors to the team, nobody cares enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

I call BS on this. Swimming is based on individual result time at the tryouts, and all results are recorded. Coaches just can't put a slower swimmer on the team and leave a faster swimmer off the team based on the result of the tryouts. It just does NOT happen, unless the school itself wants to invite lawsuits from parents.

They can when the team hides the results. Our summer team does this and it’s BS. Can only see the few times that get posted on NVSL.

I can believe this might happen on NVSL/rec teams, but forget it on club. That's the comparison that really matters and time recording is 100% more transparent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
These people put their kids into team sports, give away their power to coaches, and come here and complain. Am I missing something?

My kids do swimming and tennis. In tennis and swimming, the results are recorded so there are NO favourtism or nepotism.

Yeah, you’re missing something. Some kids prefer team sports over individual sports. I have two like this. I was a swimmer and tried to get them into it. But they just don’t get motivated by the individual aspect. They like the excitement of a team competition and the social interaction that is inherent to the team practices and games. They do like summer swim because it has some of that. But winter swim is very individual before high school, and you can’t make our high school team without being a good club swimmer already.

I do like seeing how unselfish my kids are on a team setting — they truly care more about the game outcome than how they played individually.

I’ve seen some parents push individual over team sports despite what their kids actually prefer. I think that’s the wrong way to do it and it will backfire. A love of the sport is needed for long term enjoyment and success.

That's exactly my point. Parents need to do a better job at explaining to kids about team vs. individual sports. In team sports, especially without performance metrics, he/she might not make the team even if he/she is better than those that make the team, due to favoritism, nepotism, or both. The parents themselves should already know this about team sports, and they should not complain when it actually happens to their kids.

So funny that you think explaining this to kids will magically change their preferences. My children understand the difference; they still prefer team sports. Why would they put themselves through almost daily training in a sport they don’t enjoy just because there is less politics? That makes no sense.

Life isn’t fair and there will always be some BS to deal with. Sometimes a result that you care greatly about will partly depend on the performance of others. I don’t think you serve kids well by steering them away from any situation where that is the case. That’s how you end up with people who can’t handle any sort of collaborative or group work in school and the workplace. You are sending a message that they shouldn’t trust others and they should only do things where they are fully in control of their own fate. Sounds like a great way to create an anxious young adult.

Let your kids choose their sports and guide them through whatever situations come up. Stop trying to bulldoze the path for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

I call BS on this. Swimming is based on individual result time at the tryouts, and all results are recorded. Coaches just can't put a slower swimmer on the team and leave a faster swimmer off the team based on the result of the tryouts. It just does NOT happen, unless the school itself wants to invite lawsuits from parents.

Coaches really don't look at summer league times. They look at "strokes". So, no it isn't performance based.