Anyone enjoy youth sports but shocked at the politics?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

I call BS on this. Swimming is based on individual result time at the tryouts, and all results are recorded. Coaches just can't put a slower swimmer on the team and leave a faster swimmer off the team based on the result of the tryouts. It just does NOT happen, unless the school itself wants to invite lawsuits from parents.

First, lawsuits aren't free and maybe 1% of parents would be willing to hire a lawyer and pursue that route.

Second, PP said their kid swam faster on the summer rec team. If a coach wants to be a d**k, then it's easy to write down tryout times showing the other kid is faster.

Third, if both swimmers in the scheme of things are just average/below-average contributors to the team, nobody cares enough.

I guess you must be poor don't live in McLean and Potomac. People in those areas are rich and they are also lawyers.

"If a coach wants to be a d**k, then it's easy to write down tryout times showing the other kid is faster".

Try to do that at Langley or McLean and see how it will work out for the coach(es).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

I call BS on this. Swimming is based on individual result time at the tryouts, and all results are recorded. Coaches just can't put a slower swimmer on the team and leave a faster swimmer off the team based on the result of the tryouts. It just does NOT happen, unless the school itself wants to invite lawsuits from parents.

First, lawsuits aren't free and maybe 1% of parents would be willing to hire a lawyer and pursue that route.

Second, PP said their kid swam faster on the summer rec team. If a coach wants to be a d**k, then it's easy to write down tryout times showing the other kid is faster.

Third, if both swimmers in the scheme of things are just average/below-average contributors to the team, nobody cares enough.

I guess you must be poor don't live in McLean and Potomac. People in those areas are rich and they are also lawyers.

"If a coach wants to be a d**k, then it's easy to write down tryout times showing the other kid is faster".

Try to do that at Langley or McLean and see how it will work out for the coach(es).

No…I live in CC MD and even here it takes a special person to decide to sue over something so insignificant.

What are you even suing about (because again on paper, your kid is slower). By the time you file your suit, the season is 1/2 over. Many of these coaches are loved by equally rich and powerful parents. Your kid is probably ostracized.

People love to yell “I’ll sue” when it’s on behalf of someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

I call BS on this. Swimming is based on individual result time at the tryouts, and all results are recorded. Coaches just can't put a slower swimmer on the team and leave a faster swimmer off the team based on the result of the tryouts. It just does NOT happen, unless the school itself wants to invite lawsuits from parents.

Coaches really don't look at summer league times. They look at "strokes". So, no it isn't performance based.

Are you on crack? summer league is summer league. It's not serious. At the club swimming level, this does not happen. Coaches will put in the fastest swimmers for relays at the big meets. Swim times are not a mystery- everyone has access to everyone else's times via USA swimming and a multitude of other apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

I call BS on this. Swimming is based on individual result time at the tryouts, and all results are recorded. Coaches just can't put a slower swimmer on the team and leave a faster swimmer off the team based on the result of the tryouts. It just does NOT happen, unless the school itself wants to invite lawsuits from parents.

First, lawsuits aren't free and maybe 1% of parents would be willing to hire a lawyer and pursue that route.

Second, PP said their kid swam faster on the summer rec team. If a coach wants to be a d**k, then it's easy to write down tryout times showing the other kid is faster.

Third, if both swimmers in the scheme of things are just average/below-average contributors to the team, nobody cares enough.

I guess you must be poor don't live in McLean and Potomac. People in those areas are rich and they are also lawyers.

"If a coach wants to be a d**k, then it's easy to write down tryout times showing the other kid is faster".

Try to do that at Langley or McLean and see how it will work out for the coach(es).

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

My kid came in first place in every.single fitness trial (out of 100) at his very HEAVILy NEPOTISTIC and political HS program. And yet....coach's buddies and friend's kids were the ones that made it...while you had them walking around the track and not even taking the tryout seriously since they were told months before they were on the team no matter what.

Damn. Even a top player would have been out at my HS and club if they showed up completely out of shape at tryouts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

I call BS on this. Swimming is based on individual result time at the tryouts, and all results are recorded. Coaches just can't put a slower swimmer on the team and leave a faster swimmer off the team based on the result of the tryouts. It just does NOT happen, unless the school itself wants to invite lawsuits from parents.

Coaches really don't look at summer league times. They look at "strokes". So, no it isn't performance based.

Are you on crack? summer league is summer league. It's not serious. At the club swimming level, this does not happen. Coaches will put in the fastest swimmers for relays at the big meets. Swim times are not a mystery- everyone has access to everyone else's times via USA swimming and a multitude of other apps.

Two different issues being discussed. Absolutely coaches put in the fastest kids for relays. There are time cuts for certain meets.

But tryouts are different. If you have a 9 yo with terrible form and doesn't seem coachable but is maybe a little faster than another 9yo with better form and open to being coached - teams won't necessarily pick the faster one at tryouts. You'll pick the kid you want on the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We attend a really wealthy, competitive, sports obsessive school and I am a little shocked by the politics of the children’s sports. Especially at the elementary school level. I can’t believe this even exists. I grew up in a rural area so have nothing from my childcare to care it to. We didn’t have travel sports and there were no cuts on teams. Now I realize how great my childhood was compared to this! It’s a lot of money, energy and effort for the same end result. And before iou say you can opt out, when your kid is driving their own involvement and wants to play a bunch of sports and participate in all the camps and teams you want them to also. I love watching youth sports but don’t love all the rest that comes with it.

I wouldn't say same result, per se. Student-athlete kids are *far* more advanced at a young age than we ever were at their age in the 80s and 90s. However, there are the same number of college roster spaces, actually, maybe fewer with international recruiting. So in the end long-term, it's a total waste of most families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

I call BS on this. Swimming is based on individual result time at the tryouts, and all results are recorded. Coaches just can't put a slower swimmer on the team and leave a faster swimmer off the team based on the result of the tryouts. It just does NOT happen, unless the school itself wants to invite lawsuits from parents.

First, lawsuits aren't free and maybe 1% of parents would be willing to hire a lawyer and pursue that route.

Second, PP said their kid swam faster on the summer rec team. If a coach wants to be a d**k, then it's easy to write down tryout times showing the other kid is faster.

Third, if both swimmers in the scheme of things are just average/below-average contributors to the team, nobody cares enough.

I guess you must be poor don't live in McLean and Potomac. People in those areas are rich and they are also lawyers.

"If a coach wants to be a d**k, then it's easy to write down tryout times showing the other kid is faster".

Try to do that at Langley or McLean and see how it will work out for the coach(es).

No…I live in CC MD and even here it takes a special person to decide to sue over something so insignificant.

What are you even suing about (because again on paper, your kid is slower). By the time you file your suit, the season is 1/2 over. Many of these coaches are loved by equally rich and powerful parents. Your kid is probably ostracized.

People love to yell “I’ll sue” when it’s on behalf of someone else.

True.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Academics I feel is even worse. Explain to me why the "Well to do schools" are so much sought after? I mean there are plenty of good sports teams from East Rockville for example. If I take my kid somehow to the "rich" schools, will they get the same opportunities the celebrity students get. I seriously doubt it.

I feel sorry for smart (smart) kids that don't have any athletic talents and are academically minded but in poor families. No way those kids will have any outlet. Maybe they'll make a magnet program. All those tests are just too easy to fake.

Competitive parents want their kids in the most competitive schools. Being the "smart" kid at a dummy school just means you get your butt kicked at college or the real world when you finally get around aggressive cutthroat peers. Same with sports. Playing on a mediocre team against mediocre talent doesn't make you good. It makes you delusional.

Competitive parents --> competitive schools --> competitive colleges --> competitive internships --> competitive major cities

You want to check-out and go play no-cut intramurals and send your kid to a degree mill where few kids care about school, go ahead. But DC is a "super zip code" area full of highly competitive Type-A people who wanna be around highly-competitive peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Academics I feel is even worse. Explain to me why the "Well to do schools" are so much sought after? I mean there are plenty of good sports teams from East Rockville for example. If I take my kid somehow to the "rich" schools, will they get the same opportunities the celebrity students get. I seriously doubt it.

I feel sorry for smart (smart) kids that don't have any athletic talents and are academically minded but in poor families. No way those kids will have any outlet. Maybe they'll make a magnet program. All those tests are just too easy to fake.

Competitive parents want their kids in the most competitive schools. Being the "smart" kid at a dummy school just means you get your butt kicked at college or the real world when you finally get around aggressive cutthroat peers. Same with sports. Playing on a mediocre team against mediocre talent doesn't make you good. It makes you delusional.

Competitive parents --> competitive schools --> competitive colleges --> competitive internships --> competitive major cities

You want to check-out and go play no-cut intramurals and send your kid to a degree mill where few kids care about school, go ahead. But DC is a "super zip code" area full of highly competitive Type-A people who wanna be around highly-competitive peers.

Of course. All reasonable people know that there are only two options for literally anything in life: cut-throat or checked-out.

A perfect illustration of why our society is in decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

I call BS on this. Swimming is based on individual result time at the tryouts, and all results are recorded. Coaches just can't put a slower swimmer on the team and leave a faster swimmer off the team based on the result of the tryouts. It just does NOT happen, unless the school itself wants to invite lawsuits from parents.

First, lawsuits aren't free and maybe 1% of parents would be willing to hire a lawyer and pursue that route.

Second, PP said their kid swam faster on the summer rec team. If a coach wants to be a d**k, then it's easy to write down tryout times showing the other kid is faster.

Third, if both swimmers in the scheme of things are just average/below-average contributors to the team, nobody cares enough.

I guess you must be poor don't live in McLean and Potomac. People in those areas are rich and they are also lawyers.

"If a coach wants to be a d**k, then it's easy to write down tryout times showing the other kid is faster".

Try to do that at Langley or McLean and see how it will work out for the coach(es).

We had a parent that did team stats for my travel team as a kid. The dad would always give his daughter credit for my assists--sometimes even goals if it was a big win.

It was crazy, but also laughable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Academics I feel is even worse. Explain to me why the "Well to do schools" are so much sought after? I mean there are plenty of good sports teams from East Rockville for example. If I take my kid somehow to the "rich" schools, will they get the same opportunities the celebrity students get. I seriously doubt it.

I feel sorry for smart (smart) kids that don't have any athletic talents and are academically minded but in poor families. No way those kids will have any outlet. Maybe they'll make a magnet program. All those tests are just too easy to fake.

Competitive parents want their kids in the most competitive schools. Being the "smart" kid at a dummy school just means you get your butt kicked at college or the real world when you finally get around aggressive cutthroat peers. Same with sports. Playing on a mediocre team against mediocre talent doesn't make you good. It makes you delusional.

Competitive parents --> competitive schools --> competitive colleges --> competitive internships --> competitive major cities

You want to check-out and go play no-cut intramurals and send your kid to a degree mill where few kids care about school, go ahead. But DC is a "super zip code" area full of highly competitive Type-A people who wanna be around highly-competitive peers.

Of course. All reasonable people know that there are only two options for literally anything in life: cut-throat or checked-out.

A perfect illustration of why our society is in decline.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to explain this to my kid about supposedly "individual" sports with metrics like swimming. Swam faster than her friend all summer on the rec team, but her friend made the team and DD didn't, her friends paid for private lessons with the facility staff. I think politics and what not manifest themselves differently in each sport. For example, some sports need big teams to run practices, but you'll never get playing time. So often times team sports are actually pretty inclusive however the treatment on the team can vary drastically, from being on the scout team they let their stars beat up on all practice, like Soccer or Football. For the individual sports you still have to practice as a team, and the kinds of reps they do in practice can greatly impact who improves the fastest.

I call BS on this. Swimming is based on individual result time at the tryouts, and all results are recorded. Coaches just can't put a slower swimmer on the team and leave a faster swimmer off the team based on the result of the tryouts. It just does NOT happen, unless the school itself wants to invite lawsuits from parents.

First, lawsuits aren't free and maybe 1% of parents would be willing to hire a lawyer and pursue that route.

Second, PP said their kid swam faster on the summer rec team. If a coach wants to be a d**k, then it's easy to write down tryout times showing the other kid is faster.

Third, if both swimmers in the scheme of things are just average/below-average contributors to the team, nobody cares enough.

I guess you must be poor don't live in McLean and Potomac. People in those areas are rich and they are also lawyers.

"If a coach wants to be a d**k, then it's easy to write down tryout times showing the other kid is faster".

Try to do that at Langley or McLean and see how it will work out for the coach(es).

We had a parent that did team stats for my travel team as a kid. The dad would always give his daughter credit for my assists--sometimes even goals if it was a big win.

It was crazy, but also laughable

Those extra assists were totally going to get his daughter recruited by Duke! lol. These psycho parents are so delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
These people put their kids into team sports, give away their power to coaches, and come here and complain. Am I missing something?

My kids do swimming and tennis. In tennis and swimming, the results are recorded so there are NO favourtism or nepotism.

Yeah, you’re missing something. Some kids prefer team sports over individual sports. I have two like this. I was a swimmer and tried to get them into it. But they just don’t get motivated by the individual aspect. They like the excitement of a team competition and the social interaction that is inherent to the team practices and games. They do like summer swim because it has some of that. But winter swim is very individual before high school, and you can’t make our high school team without being a good club swimmer already.

I do like seeing how unselfish my kids are on a team setting — they truly care more about the game outcome than how they played individually.

I’ve seen some parents push individual over team sports despite what their kids actually prefer. I think that’s the wrong way to do it and it will backfire. A love of the sport is needed for long term enjoyment and success.

That's exactly my point. Parents need to do a better job at explaining to kids about team vs. individual sports. In team sports, especially without performance metrics, he/she might not make the team even if he/she is better than those that make the team, due to favoritism, nepotism, or both. The parents themselves should already know this about team sports, and they should not complain when it actually happens to their kids.

LOL. My kid excelled at basketball and track in middle school. Guess which one he decided to do in high school? Not surprisingly, it was the one that hundreds of his classmates turned out to watch.

[Anonymous]

As someone who was a volunteer tennis coach until 2023 at one of the big 3 private schools, and also at an FCPS school (think of Langley, McLean, Oakton, Chantilly), I can assure you that the tryouts were fair, and that the best kids made the varsity based on results on the tennis court. The results were recorded with confirmation from players. Therefore, coaches could not put a player with a worse record on the team during tryouts, while denying another player with a better record.

There were always parents demanding to know why their kids didn't make the varsity team. As coaches, we showed them results from the tryout, and we were very transparent with the process.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that in team sports.

[Anonymous]

Also weighing in as a HS coach—there will always be parents who cannot see how their kids skills compare to others on the team and/or take issue with roster, position and play time decisions. There’s a ton of bs that goes on with daddy ball but by HS I’m putting our best kids out there in the positions I think they need to be in to get the W. Obviously I work in kids who are less skilled when I can and where I can, but I spend a lot of time thinking about match ups and who works well together etc. My sport is not an easy to hide a weak kid type of sport. The number of parents who question my line ups or talk to the AD trying to angle for more playing time for their kids is crazy.