Anyone enjoy youth sports but shocked at the politics?

[Anonymous]

The best is when your kid is just fine but isn’t going to play D1, not going to play on the top team, and he is totally fine with that. He gets plenty of playing time on his mid -level travel team, practice isn’t that serious, games are sufficiently competitive. And, parents all have the same mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a youth team of, let’s say, 10 kids. It will pretty much always go something like this:

1 kid: clearly the most skilled kid on the team, very obvious
2 kids: clearly behind on skills, very obvious
7 kids: average, fine, not remarkable either way

“Politics” won’t matter much for the first 3 kids, but it will influence the experience of the remaining 7- sometimes heavily. Parent friendships/influence, kid friendships, other social factors etc etc.

I have never seen it go any other way. Literally ever. 3 kids. Some sports and teams it will only matter a little (pretty tolerable), other times it will matter a lot (can be hard to take).

All you can do is try to keep your kids playing in teams/sports where the politics are there (they always will be), but at a tolerable level. It is also important to ask yourself if it is bothering your child, or just bothering YOU. Often the kids are fine and having fun either way. Sometimes the kids do notice or feel a bit demoralized- in that case, likely time to move to a different team or organization.

You nailed it! I’ve seen this exact scenario play out so much. I’m not sure what the answer is. My kids are still young. I’ve found the age impact of the 7 kids in the middle too, like coach runs drills first week to see actual stats- best time on dash, longest throw, longest catch and then its head to head with another kid who is a full year older but same grade and older kid gets position due to maturity. Then older kid gets better in position and so on.

Part of the problem too, I assume, is that as kids move up in age and the less skilled/talented/passionate kids drop out, many of those kids that were previously in that number 1 spot on their teams are now in that pack of 7 in the middle. And their parents can’t or won’t accept it.

[Anonymous]

I will never say anything to the refs but it is very hard not to when people take advantage of situations and ref doesn’t call it. My 6 year old first grader was playing flag football and a kid who was over 100 lbs (he was taller and bigger than my 4th grader who is top of the charts) just shoved him down and their teammates multiple times and kids tackling. That’s when a ref needs to step in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take a youth team of, let’s say, 10 kids. It will pretty much always go something like this:

1 kid: clearly the most skilled kid on the team, very obvious
2 kids: clearly behind on skills, very obvious
7 kids: average, fine, not remarkable either way

“Politics” won’t matter much for the first 3 kids, but it will influence the experience of the remaining 7- sometimes heavily. Parent friendships/influence, kid friendships, other social factors etc etc.

I have never seen it go any other way. Literally ever. 3 kids. Some sports and teams it will only matter a little (pretty tolerable), other times it will matter a lot (can be hard to take).

All you can do is try to keep your kids playing in teams/sports where the politics are there (they always will be), but at a tolerable level. It is also important to ask yourself if it is bothering your child, or just bothering YOU. Often the kids are fine and having fun either way. Sometimes the kids do notice or feel a bit demoralized- in that case, likely time to move to a different team or organization.

IF you have sons in particular you will see the 1 kid (clearly most skilled) start to take the back seat if they are late bloomers. This is what happened to both of my sons. We grow late in my family. And growth spurt is also responsible for filling out/muscles due to added testosterone which affects speed and strength.

My kids were always the most skilled in the bunch---but not always the most effective as they went through growth spurts late and on the big field in middle school that happens---even into early HS.

I am sure they were labeled by arm-chair soccer spectators without a lot of experience in the sport themselves as the 'not good' ones. But--that all went away by 18 and they were top of the charts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a youth team of, let’s say, 10 kids. It will pretty much always go something like this:

1 kid: clearly the most skilled kid on the team, very obvious
2 kids: clearly behind on skills, very obvious
7 kids: average, fine, not remarkable either way

“Politics” won’t matter much for the first 3 kids, but it will influence the experience of the remaining 7- sometimes heavily. Parent friendships/influence, kid friendships, other social factors etc etc.

I have never seen it go any other way. Literally ever. 3 kids. Some sports and teams it will only matter a little (pretty tolerable), other times it will matter a lot (can be hard to take).

All you can do is try to keep your kids playing in teams/sports where the politics are there (they always will be), but at a tolerable level. It is also important to ask yourself if it is bothering your child, or just bothering YOU. Often the kids are fine and having fun either way. Sometimes the kids do notice or feel a bit demoralized- in that case, likely time to move to a different team or organization.

You nailed it! I’ve seen this exact scenario play out so much. I’m not sure what the answer is. My kids are still young. I’ve found the age impact of the 7 kids in the middle too, like coach runs drills first week to see actual stats- best time on dash, longest throw, longest catch and then its head to head with another kid who is a full year older but same grade and older kid gets position due to maturity. Then older kid gets better in position and so on.

Part of the problem too, I assume, is that as kids move up in age and the less skilled/talented/passionate kids drop out, many of those kids that were previously in that number 1 spot on their teams are now in that pack of 7 in the middle. And their parents can’t or won’t accept it.

Yes but sadly I’ve seen them hold onto the same positions just because they were the best at 5 and 6, especially the oldest, even when other kids should probably be developed too as they caught up in age and ability and the gap closed that was there in the youngest grades. I really wish there was a focus on developing all the kids. I think these young ages are hard to tell especially with the age consideration. Of course a 7 year old is more coordinated than a 5.5 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best is when your kid is just fine but isn’t going to play D1, not going to play on the top team, and he is totally fine with that. He gets plenty of playing time on his mid -level travel team, practice isn’t that serious, games are sufficiently competitive. And, parents all have the same mindset.

Actually, the best is when D1 was never the goal. You didn't waste your kids youth with excessive travel---but went to teams with the best coaches and 'player development' and your kids had time to focus on academics and other things they enjoyed--and their own training of their own choosing (backyard).

And then they get to the end of HS and their talent becomes obvious. We didn't spend a 1/4 of the $ or travel time and our kid ended up getting on a D1 team which was his own personal goal (actually has aspirations beyond that) and we let him direct the ship with regard to that.

WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A HIGHLIGHT TAPE because we never filmed. He didn't get clips until senior year.

I won't lie and tell you it hasn't been wonderful after getting cut from HS watching my kid play out his dreams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take a youth team of, let’s say, 10 kids. It will pretty much always go something like this:

1 kid: clearly the most skilled kid on the team, very obvious
2 kids: clearly behind on skills, very obvious
7 kids: average, fine, not remarkable either way

“Politics” won’t matter much for the first 3 kids, but it will influence the experience of the remaining 7- sometimes heavily. Parent friendships/influence, kid friendships, other social factors etc etc.

I have never seen it go any other way. Literally ever. 3 kids. Some sports and teams it will only matter a little (pretty tolerable), other times it will matter a lot (can be hard to take).

All you can do is try to keep your kids playing in teams/sports where the politics are there (they always will be), but at a tolerable level. It is also important to ask yourself if it is bothering your child, or just bothering YOU. Often the kids are fine and having fun either way. Sometimes the kids do notice or feel a bit demoralized- in that case, likely time to move to a different team or organization.

+1 this is spot on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best is when your kid is just fine but isn’t going to play D1, not going to play on the top team, and he is totally fine with that. He gets plenty of playing time on his mid -level travel team, practice isn’t that serious, games are sufficiently competitive. And, parents all have the same mindset.

Actually, the best is when D1 was never the goal. You didn't waste your kids youth with excessive travel---but went to teams with the best coaches and 'player development' and your kids had time to focus on academics and other things they enjoyed--and their own training of their own choosing (backyard).

And then they get to the end of HS and their talent becomes obvious. We didn't spend a 1/4 of the $ or travel time and our kid ended up getting on a D1 team which was his own personal goal (actually has aspirations beyond that) and we let him direct the ship with regard to that.

WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A HIGHLIGHT TAPE because we never filmed. He didn't get clips until senior year.

I won't lie and tell you it hasn't been wonderful after getting cut from HS watching my kid play out his dreams.

I love this. Thanks for sharing. What sport?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best is when your kid is just fine but isn’t going to play D1, not going to play on the top team, and he is totally fine with that. He gets plenty of playing time on his mid -level travel team, practice isn’t that serious, games are sufficiently competitive. And, parents all have the same mindset.

Actually, the best is when D1 was never the goal. You didn't waste your kids youth with excessive travel---but went to teams with the best coaches and 'player development' and your kids had time to focus on academics and other things they enjoyed--and their own training of their own choosing (backyard).

And then they get to the end of HS and their talent becomes obvious. We didn't spend a 1/4 of the $ or travel time and our kid ended up getting on a D1 team which was his own personal goal (actually has aspirations beyond that) and we let him direct the ship with regard to that.

WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A HIGHLIGHT TAPE because we never filmed. He didn't get clips until senior year.

I won't lie and tell you it hasn't been wonderful after getting cut from HS watching my kid play out his dreams.

Ok guy you’ve repeated this story like 5 times over the past 2 hours

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best is when your kid is just fine but isn’t going to play D1, not going to play on the top team, and he is totally fine with that. He gets plenty of playing time on his mid -level travel team, practice isn’t that serious, games are sufficiently competitive. And, parents all have the same mindset.

Actually, the best is when D1 was never the goal. You didn't waste your kids youth with excessive travel---but went to teams with the best coaches and 'player development' and your kids had time to focus on academics and other things they enjoyed--and their own training of their own choosing (backyard).

And then they get to the end of HS and their talent becomes obvious. We didn't spend a 1/4 of the $ or travel time and our kid ended up getting on a D1 team which was his own personal goal (actually has aspirations beyond that) and we let him direct the ship with regard to that.

WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A HIGHLIGHT TAPE because we never filmed. He didn't get clips until senior year.

I won't lie and tell you it hasn't been wonderful after getting cut from HS watching my kid play out his dreams.

I love this. Thanks for sharing. What sport?

Must be something lame like lacrosse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best is when your kid is just fine but isn’t going to play D1, not going to play on the top team, and he is totally fine with that. He gets plenty of playing time on his mid -level travel team, practice isn’t that serious, games are sufficiently competitive. And, parents all have the same mindset.

Actually, the best is when D1 was never the goal. You didn't waste your kids youth with excessive travel---but went to teams with the best coaches and 'player development' and your kids had time to focus on academics and other things they enjoyed--and their own training of their own choosing (backyard).

And then they get to the end of HS and their talent becomes obvious. We didn't spend a 1/4 of the $ or travel time and our kid ended up getting on a D1 team which was his own personal goal (actually has aspirations beyond that) and we let him direct the ship with regard to that.

WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A HIGHLIGHT TAPE because we never filmed. He didn't get clips until senior year.

I won't lie and tell you it hasn't been wonderful after getting cut from HS watching my kid play out his dreams.

I love this. Thanks for sharing. What sport?

Must be something lame like lacrosse

Lacrosse attracts the most politics and nepotism. I would say it’s something like football.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best is when your kid is just fine but isn’t going to play D1, not going to play on the top team, and he is totally fine with that. He gets plenty of playing time on his mid -level travel team, practice isn’t that serious, games are sufficiently competitive. And, parents all have the same mindset.

Actually, the best is when D1 was never the goal. You didn't waste your kids youth with excessive travel---but went to teams with the best coaches and 'player development' and your kids had time to focus on academics and other things they enjoyed--and their own training of their own choosing (backyard).

And then they get to the end of HS and their talent becomes obvious. We didn't spend a 1/4 of the $ or travel time and our kid ended up getting on a D1 team which was his own personal goal (actually has aspirations beyond that) and we let him direct the ship with regard to that.

WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A HIGHLIGHT TAPE because we never filmed. He didn't get clips until senior year.

I won't lie and tell you it hasn't been wonderful after getting cut from HS watching my kid play out his dreams.

I love this. Thanks for sharing. What sport?

Must be something lame like lacrosse

Lacrosse attracts the most politics and nepotism. I would say it’s something like football.

I thought baseball was the worst for this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best is when your kid is just fine but isn’t going to play D1, not going to play on the top team, and he is totally fine with that. He gets plenty of playing time on his mid -level travel team, practice isn’t that serious, games are sufficiently competitive. And, parents all have the same mindset.

Actually, the best is when D1 was never the goal. You didn't waste your kids youth with excessive travel---but went to teams with the best coaches and 'player development' and your kids had time to focus on academics and other things they enjoyed--and their own training of their own choosing (backyard).

And then they get to the end of HS and their talent becomes obvious. We didn't spend a 1/4 of the $ or travel time and our kid ended up getting on a D1 team which was his own personal goal (actually has aspirations beyond that) and we let him direct the ship with regard to that.

WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A HIGHLIGHT TAPE because we never filmed. He didn't get clips until senior year.

I won't lie and tell you it hasn't been wonderful after getting cut from HS watching my kid play out his dreams.

I love this. Thanks for sharing. What sport?

Must be something lame like lacrosse

Lacrosse attracts the most politics and nepotism. I would say it’s something like football.

I thought baseball was the worst for this?

Oh yes, you are probably right! Daddy ball for sure especially with pitching

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best is when your kid is just fine but isn’t going to play D1, not going to play on the top team, and he is totally fine with that. He gets plenty of playing time on his mid -level travel team, practice isn’t that serious, games are sufficiently competitive. And, parents all have the same mindset.

Actually, the best is when D1 was never the goal. You didn't waste your kids youth with excessive travel---but went to teams with the best coaches and 'player development' and your kids had time to focus on academics and other things they enjoyed--and their own training of their own choosing (backyard).

And then they get to the end of HS and their talent becomes obvious. We didn't spend a 1/4 of the $ or travel time and our kid ended up getting on a D1 team which was his own personal goal (actually has aspirations beyond that) and we let him direct the ship with regard to that.

WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A HIGHLIGHT TAPE because we never filmed. He didn't get clips until senior year.

I won't lie and tell you it hasn't been wonderful after getting cut from HS watching my kid play out his dreams.

I love this. Thanks for sharing. What sport?

Soccer- boys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best is when your kid is just fine but isn’t going to play D1, not going to play on the top team, and he is totally fine with that. He gets plenty of playing time on his mid -level travel team, practice isn’t that serious, games are sufficiently competitive. And, parents all have the same mindset.

Actually, the best is when D1 was never the goal. You didn't waste your kids youth with excessive travel---but went to teams with the best coaches and 'player development' and your kids had time to focus on academics and other things they enjoyed--and their own training of their own choosing (backyard).

And then they get to the end of HS and their talent becomes obvious. We didn't spend a 1/4 of the $ or travel time and our kid ended up getting on a D1 team which was his own personal goal (actually has aspirations beyond that) and we let him direct the ship with regard to that.

WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A HIGHLIGHT TAPE because we never filmed. He didn't get clips until senior year.

I won't lie and tell you it hasn't been wonderful after getting cut from HS watching my kid play out his dreams.

I love this. Thanks for sharing. What sport?

Soccer- boys

Nice which school? I’m interested in doing something similar