Do you regret allowing your adult children to live at home?

[Anonymous]

Does everyone believe parent should buy a car for adult child when they graduate from college?
or before they turn 18?

Car is expensive, how these adult chidden get their first car?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to let your adult children be adults while living in your home. My advice is do not let them use a family car as they need their own or to use public transit. Or do let them use the car on a set schedule to support work or other agreed on activities and do not ‘parent’ them by telling them it is too unsafe to use the car. That determination is up to them. As an adult there should be no ‘getting their way’ fights. The adult can come and go as they please. They can use what ever you have agreed is a communal resource in the manner you have decided ahead of time. If you have rules they need to follow them or you give them a month to move out. No need for power struggles with an adult. Let them live their life in your house and do not monitor and do not set ‘child like’ rules. Do enforce agreed on boundaries/rules by having the adult move out if they can not follow these rules. But do keep the rules around possessions and treatment of the home not their schedule or behavior. You do not want to fall into the role of parenting an adult as if they were a child. Telling them what is safe and unsafe driving conditions is treating them like a child.

If you want to let them become adults, give them three months after college graduation to get their own place. Mine aren't moving home and driving my car after I pay for a $380k education.

Super smart. You already spent so much money, the most important thing now is to spend more money.

No. At some point you have to close your wallet and give your adult kids space to become adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does everyone believe parent should buy a car for adult child when they graduate from college?
or before they turn 18?

Car is expensive, how these adult chidden get their first car?

If we can afford it, I’d consider it. Otherwise they get a handy down car or we’d work something out. Before 18, if our old car lasts they can use that as we plan to replace it anyway b

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I let one adult kid live at home for a few years and will do so with the others if they want. My feeling is that it’s the family home, and I’m not charging anyone rent to live here. I’d rather have them live here and save up money so they can buy a house. We are not in an economic bracket to be making huge gifts to help them with a down payment, But free rent is something that we can offer and are happy to offer. That said, we did have some friction around doing the dishes, especially.

I plan to do this so they can save.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does everyone believe parent should buy a car for adult child when they graduate from college?
or before they turn 18?

Car is expensive, how these adult chidden get their first car?

We purchased both of our children their first car in high school.. Exactly what are parents did for us.
Kids have friends who's grandparents also purchased their first car

[Anonymous]

Infantilizing grown adults in name of saving rent to live in childhood bedrooms isn't a great service to them. Let them grow independently in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does everyone believe parent should buy a car for adult child when they graduate from college?
or before they turn 18?

Car is expensive, how these adult chidden get their first car?

We let them use our cars when they were young but once they wanted their own that they didn’t have to share, they bought their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I let one adult kid live at home for a few years and will do so with the others if they want. My feeling is that it’s the family home, and I’m not charging anyone rent to live here. I’d rather have them live here and save up money so they can buy a house. We are not in an economic bracket to be making huge gifts to help them with a down payment, But free rent is something that we can offer and are happy to offer. That said, we did have some friction around doing the dishes, especially.

You should charge market rent, to teach them adult responsibility and how the real world works. No problem with choosing to give them a gift of cash or down payment later.

DS will be paying rent, a bit below market rate, and we will gift that money back to him when he moves (but haven't told him that).

I posted above. We have a similar plan; however, we figured if we didn’t tell them, then they’d have no incentive to actively work to move out. For example, They’d be comparing $3000 market rent to the $1000 we’d be charging him all in? I guess it friends in the kid, so may work but we’re hoping that after a 12 months paying into our fake rent fund they’d be looking forward to freedom and $12000 refund check.

What about if they can’t pay one month. How would you handle?

Bump!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had always figured on allowing our college aged children to live at home to save money after graduation. One of them is difficult to live with, though, when he doesn’t get his way. Gives us the silent treatment when we don’t let him take the car in unsafe conditions, etc. It’s making me think twice about letting him stay at home if that’s how he’s going to act. Did you regret allowing your kids to live at home?

No but mine never complained and were helpful
You raised a twat who should be out on their butt.

Why in the world would you allow that in your house? You failed not them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does everyone believe parent should buy a car for adult child when they graduate from college?
or before they turn 18?

Car is expensive, how these adult chidden get their first car?

We let them use our cars when they were young but once they wanted their own that they didn’t have to share, they bought their own.

If parents don't give a car to their kid before the kids turn 18, how can the young adults afford to buy a car themselves? waiting table can not earn that much money while those young adults are still in college.

So, it is a parent's responsibility to buy a car for their kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does everyone believe parent should buy a car for adult child when they graduate from college?
or before they turn 18?

Car is expensive, how these adult chidden get their first car?

We bought them for college but unless they are living at home and commuting to college, they don't really need one. On campus they can use public transport or Uber when there is a need.

[Anonymous]

Yes, young adults need to get out on their own and not be a failure to launch. They should be struggling and trying to make it as an independent adult. They also need a sex life and privacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does everyone believe parent should buy a car for adult child when they graduate from college?
or before they turn 18?

Car is expensive, how these adult chidden get their first car?

We bought them for college but unless they are living at home and commuting to college, they don't really need one. On campus they can use public transport or Uber when there is a need.

so, if kids live in campus and don't need a car, how can they get a car after graduation?

If they are lucky to get a job, they can have a car loan, but now days, most college graduate can not get a job or a job pay good enough for rent themselves and car loan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, young adults need to get out on their own and not be a failure to launch. They should be struggling and trying to make it as an independent adult. They also need a sex life and privacy.

Right? Who's going home to their date's mom and dad's house? I never dated anyone who lived at home when I was in my 20s, but it would have sent me running.

[Anonymous]

You can only do it for 6 months. That was our limit. 6.5 months later he moved out.