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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, life would be much easier if we lived in bumble town North Dakota and my kid just applied to State U or Directional State U. I am somewhat envious of that.

But we are not there.[/quote]

True, but nothing's stopping you and your child from following that path. [/quote]

This. And actually your situation is a million times better for financial reasons.

I really respect it when I hear that one of my [wealthy, very privileged] friend's kids is going to a school outside the T25 or even T50 because they just found a school that was a great fit. Like I have a friend whose daughter is going to to a state school you probably wouldn't even think about but it has a terrific program in forestry and environmental science and that's what her DD wants to do. I know another kid who wound up at a smaller school in Texas because of their photography program and because he really likes that part of the country. I think these kids are going to do great in life because they know themselves and what they want AND they have supportive and wealthy parents who can help them with the finance side.

Kids who are actually from bumble**** North Dakota often don't have that kind of support and their options can be super limited as a result. They also often haven't seen enough of the world to really have a sense of what is possible, what different career paths look like, etc. I know because I was one of those kids. It's incredibly hard navigating the world when you grow up with a narrow viewpoint and your parents don't have much knowledge of the world either. I was a super academic kid who wanted more and knew I wouldn't be happy just getting some management/white collar job locally -- I wanted to see more of the world. But I was really ill-prepared for it and made a ton of mistakes along the way and my parents were of no help.

[b]I have to roll my eyes hard at people who lament that they would be "better off" if they lived in some rural town and their kid just went to the state flagship. You are assuming you'd still have all your other privileges -- your education and understanding of the world, your connections, etc.[/b] And that sending your kid to the state flagship would pose no economic burden whatsoever (I needed a scholarship that required me to maintain a 3.8 in honors classes in order to afford college). Most people in that situation have none of the above.

You all sound like whiny children. Grow up. I'm sorry your kid might not get into Brown? Whatever.[/quote]

New poster here.  There are plenty and I mean plenty of folks who went to their “state flagship“ who were doing better than fine. This is a ridiculous.[/quote]

I believe PP knows that.  But is stating that growing up in Montana or ND or SD in a more rural area (or heck even the "cities" in those states) most of those kids have very different life experiences than those 1-3% do in DCUM, and most of us would not actually want that for our kids, just so they can attend Harvard.

It really would be helpful if more people would take off their blinders, step back and recognize their intense privilege already by age 18 (or the parents would).

We made sure our kids knew their privilege, and worked hard to not raise spoiled brats.  One kid was not T50 material, but found their place at a great school and is doing well at 25.  The other was T25 material, but didn't get into any (WL at 2), and is excelling at a T50.  But is aware of their privilege---they had two schools (within T40-55), $42K merit/year at one and none at the other (both ~$90K+).  My kid knows 99%+ of kids would be at the one with top merit.  My kid knows they are extremely privileged that we allowed them to select the school without merit---why?  Because it's truly a better fit for my kid (in reality probably should have been their ED1 and a better fit than either of the T25 they were WL at) and we have it all saved in a 529 and can easily afford it.  Grad school will be paid for if/when it's desired, kid will get a new car for graduation, we will help with downpayment when time comes, etc.  But my kid recognizes that 99% of kids would be at the other school simply "finances".

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