How to get single-minded tween to branch out

[Anonymous]

I’m trying not to judge. I don’t know why you are even worrying about whether it will become a profession for him or not. As you say, he is 12.

We have always respected our child’s interests. It is what makes them happy and intellectually stimulated. Your kid is lucky he has something he is passionate about. I find it really sad that your kid felt he needed to hide a passion of his from you and that you aren’t modeling learning and dreaming big for him. This is a parental fail and he will remember it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Desperate to know what it really is. Especially now that I know there is a panda endocrinologist out there in the world.

Is he obsessed with:

-the Titanic?
-tornados?
-earthquakes?
-space?
-tortoises?
-the American civil war?
-railroads?

These are all obsessions of adults I know who have had them since childhood and leveraged into fascinating lives.

Help! Throw us a (*not dinosaur) bone, please, OP.

Ok, it's the panda endocrinologist thing that pushed me over the edge of spilling - he wants to command submarines. I told you it was niche!

How is this niche at all?! There’s an entire US Naval Academy right here in our backyard! (Assuming you’re in the DC area.) There’s a well-defined path for this and a literal military course in submarine command. If that’s what he wants to do, you and he need to just be preparing for a military career.

We left DC when DS was a baby, so Annapolis might as well be on the moon (DH is now retired from another branch of the military). I am aware it's an entire course, but yes, it's very niche to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying not to judge. I don’t know why you are even worrying about whether it will become a profession for him or not. As you say, he is 12.

We have always respected our child’s interests. It is what makes them happy and intellectually stimulated. Your kid is lucky he has something he is passionate about. I find it really sad that your kid felt he needed to hide a passion of his from you and that you aren’t modeling learning and dreaming big for him. This is a parental fail and he will remember it.

I don't think I'm not modeling dreaming big? But like everyone has agreed, he is 12. This started at 7. Would you rather I have been pushing him toward the equivalent of Harvard in second grade? I know how those DCUM threads go, so that's rhetorical. We did what we thought was best for him, which was to encourage him to pursue other things. I thought at his age, he would find other things he was interested in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying not to judge. I don’t know why you are even worrying about whether it will become a profession for him or not. As you say, he is 12.

We have always respected our child’s interests. It is what makes them happy and intellectually stimulated. Your kid is lucky he has something he is passionate about. I find it really sad that your kid felt he needed to hide a passion of his from you and that you aren’t modeling learning and dreaming big for him. This is a parental fail and he will remember it.

I don't think I'm not modeling dreaming big? But like everyone has agreed, he is 12. This started at 7. Would you rather I have been pushing him toward the equivalent of Harvard in second grade? I know how those DCUM threads go, so that's rhetorical. We did what we thought was best for him, which was to encourage him to pursue other things. I thought at his age, he would find other things he was interested in.

OK sounds like now you know he’s still really into it and I would support that if I were you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying not to judge. I don’t know why you are even worrying about whether it will become a profession for him or not. As you say, he is 12.

We have always respected our child’s interests. It is what makes them happy and intellectually stimulated. Your kid is lucky he has something he is passionate about. I find it really sad that your kid felt he needed to hide a passion of his from you and that you aren’t modeling learning and dreaming big for him. This is a parental fail and he will remember it.

I don't think I'm not modeling dreaming big? But like everyone has agreed, he is 12. This started at 7. Would you rather I have been pushing him toward the equivalent of Harvard in second grade? I know how those DCUM threads go, so that's rhetorical. We did what we thought was best for him, which was to encourage him to pursue other things. I thought at his age, he would find other things he was interested in.

Why are those the options? You don't have to push him toward it or encourage him to do something else. Just let him be the person he wants to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as this is a legitimate major there shouldn’t be a problem. If was clown school and he wanted to wear clown shoes every day that would be a problem.

I would not begrudge clown school. I would begrudge student loans for clown school.

Clown school is a second career. Kid would need to get a semi-useful major, hold down a job, and then pay for his own clown school. 🤡

[Anonymous]

If the submarine commander doesn't go Navy there are research submarines and submersibles for careers in marine biology, oceanography, hydrology, geology...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Desperate to know what it really is. Especially now that I know there is a panda endocrinologist out there in the world.

Is he obsessed with:

-the Titanic?
-tornados?
-earthquakes?
-space?
-tortoises?
-the American civil war?
-railroads?

These are all obsessions of adults I know who have had them since childhood and leveraged into fascinating lives.

Help! Throw us a (*not dinosaur) bone, please, OP.

Ok, it's the panda endocrinologist thing that pushed me over the edge of spilling - he wants to command submarines. I told you it was niche!

How is this niche at all?! There’s an entire US Naval Academy right here in our backyard! (Assuming you’re in the DC area.) There’s a well-defined path for this and a literal military course in submarine command. If that’s what he wants to do, you and he need to just be preparing for a military career.

We left DC when DS was a baby, so Annapolis might as well be on the moon (DH is now retired from another branch of the military). I am aware it's an entire course, but yes, it's very niche to us.

You left DC 12 years ago and yet you didn’t want to say the interest because it’s too recognizable? I don’t understand you at all - this is not an issue at all.

[Anonymous]

It's not that niche...and it's an area in which he can side step into something else.

I had a friend who wanted to be an astronaut. He didn't end up being one, but did earn a PhD in astrophysics and working for NASA.

So maybe he won't be a submarine commander, but ends up being in the Coast Guard or the merchant marine or being in the Navy and the captain of a aircraft carrier or a professor of oceanography.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying not to judge. I don’t know why you are even worrying about whether it will become a profession for him or not. As you say, he is 12.

We have always respected our child’s interests. It is what makes them happy and intellectually stimulated. Your kid is lucky he has something he is passionate about. I find it really sad that your kid felt he needed to hide a passion of his from you and that you aren’t modeling learning and dreaming big for him. This is a parental fail and he will remember it.

I don't think I'm not modeling dreaming big? But like everyone has agreed, he is 12. This started at 7. Would you rather I have been pushing him toward the equivalent of Harvard in second grade? I know how those DCUM threads go, so that's rhetorical. We did what we thought was best for him, which was to encourage him to pursue other things. I thought at his age, he would find other things he was interested in.

It’s really not that niche. I went to the Naval Academy, spent a night on a submarine under water once which was super neat (women couldn’t go subs then), and now know a ton of people who have served on subs and even commanded them. There are a few well traveled paths towards commissioning in the Navy as a sub officer or sub supply officer, as well as many opportunities to serve on submarines as an enlisted Sailor. Twelve years old is not too soon to talk with him about what Academics, sports, personal lifestyle choices (drugs/alcohol) would be required to go to the Academy or enlist.

[Anonymous]

A subaquatic life is not for everyone, particularly at the command level. The air becomes stale and fetid, and reeks after a while. The claustrophobia is relentless. And for a commander, the pressure - literally and figuratively - can be unbearable.

That said, you've got to have a dream. If you don't have a dream, then how you gonna have a dream come true?

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn't it pan out? I work in "paleontology" and there are many in the field who tell me they were like your son growing up. I am, frankly, a bit envious that they discovered and fell in love with the subject early on. My parents insisted I work towards a normal career and I tried, but I eventually jumped ship for "paleontology". It worked out well but would have been easier if they'd let me follow my clear passion for science from a young age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Desperate to know what it really is. Especially now that I know there is a panda endocrinologist out there in the world.

Is he obsessed with:

-the Titanic?
-tornados?
-earthquakes?
-space?
-tortoises?
-the American civil war?
-railroads?

These are all obsessions of adults I know who have had them since childhood and leveraged into fascinating lives.

Help! Throw us a (*not dinosaur) bone, please, OP.

Ok, it's the panda endocrinologist thing that pushed me over the edge of spilling - he wants to command submarines. I told you it was niche!

This is awesome! A former grad student of mine is a submarine commander. He knew exactly what he wanted and made it happen. He's got a great life now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m picturing something like “majoring in dance at Julliard.” Yes, it’s “unlikely,” but with the right training it’s at least possible. If he doesn’t get into the dream college, the major assuredly exists elsewhere. And if it is an arts career and you’re worried about post-college employment, there are options out there for anyone who’s willing to be really flexible about where they’re living.

It’s probably “be an astronaut”—which would be super cool but not super likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Desperate to know what it really is. Especially now that I know there is a panda endocrinologist out there in the world.

Is he obsessed with:

-the Titanic?
-tornados?
-earthquakes?
-space?
-tortoises?
-the American civil war?
-railroads?

These are all obsessions of adults I know who have had them since childhood and leveraged into fascinating lives.

Help! Throw us a (*not dinosaur) bone, please, OP.

Ok, it's the panda endocrinologist thing that pushed me over the edge of spilling - he wants to command submarines. I told you it was niche!

This is awesome! A former grad student of mine is a submarine commander. He knew exactly what he wanted and made it happen. He's got a great life now.

At 7?