How to get single-minded tween to branch out

[Anonymous]

It's fine! More than fine! He could be obsessed with Nintendo or mewing or something really stupid. He's learning science, what's not to like?

He may grow into a scientist, or he may grow into... An adult with a hobby he enjoys. What a nightmare...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is having a passion bad? I had a college friend like this with pandas after getting a stuffed one for her eighth bday. She now speaks fluent mandarin and has a PhD in panda endocrinology from the best school for that outside China. Married and kids too - just living her dream.

Seriously, why would “paleontologist” be a bad outcome?

I became interested in a certain type of animal around age 10-11. I maintained that interest and went on to study that animal for both my MS & PhD. My mom knew she wanted to be a nurse from the time she was a little girl and became one. Meanwhile, my teen wanted to be a miller when he was little but doesn’t now. What’s the big deal either way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my concern is just what the immediate PP suggested - he's so young, and close family (including my dinosaur-enabling mother) kept saying, "He'll change his mind! This is just a phase!" So DH and I treated it like a phase, but now I'm not so sure.

There must be more going on. What about the passion worries you? You don’t have to share what it is. But something else must be bothering you. Example: He is into drag queens and drag queen culture. So you’re worried he will face discrimination and homophobia for his interest. Just spit out what you’re really worried about.

I really do just feel silly spending so much time and money on something he won't be into in five years. Like, I don't want to be one of those mothers shoving a violin at their two-year-old. It seems overbearing, and that's not how I am.

Ok, I'll be blunt. I've never verbalized it before. The problem is that it IS something I would be proud of him for accomplishing, and I think focusing so much on it might leave me disappointed when it invariably doesn't pan out.

Girl . . . It’s the journey what counts. My kid wanted to be an Olympic swimmer. She’s not, but she loves the sport, learned dedication, hard work, discipline, leadership skills and a hell of a lot of resilience. She got another profession in her sights in college. Lessons in disappointment r incredible valuable. Don’t steer your kid to avoid big dreams

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my concern is just what the immediate PP suggested - he's so young, and close family (including my dinosaur-enabling mother) kept saying, "He'll change his mind! This is just a phase!" So DH and I treated it like a phase, but now I'm not so sure.

There must be more going on. What about the passion worries you? You don’t have to share what it is. But something else must be bothering you. Example: He is into drag queens and drag queen culture. So you’re worried he will face discrimination and homophobia for his interest. Just spit out what you’re really worried about.

I really do just feel silly spending so much time and money on something he won't be into in five years. Like, I don't want to be one of those mothers shoving a violin at their two-year-old. It seems overbearing, and that's not how I am.

Ok, I'll be blunt. I've never verbalized it before. The problem is that it IS something I would be proud of him for accomplishing, and I think focusing so much on it might leave me disappointed when it invariably doesn't pan out.

Girl . . . It’s the journey what counts. My kid wanted to be an Olympic swimmer. She’s not, but she loves the sport, learned dedication, hard work, discipline, leadership skills and a hell of a lot of resilience. She got another profession in her sights in college. Lessons in disappointment r incredible valuable. Don’t steer your kid to avoid big dreams

I could have written this about dance. Double majored and has an incredible unrelated job. She can get up and speak to people in a way most could only dream about. Dance did that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Desperate to know what it really is. Especially now that I know there is a panda endocrinologist out there in the world.

Is he obsessed with:

-the Titanic?
-tornados?
-earthquakes?
-space?
-tortoises?
-the American civil war?
-railroads?

These are all obsessions of adults I know who have had them since childhood and leveraged into fascinating lives.

Help! Throw us a (*not dinosaur) bone, please, OP.

Ok, it's the panda endocrinologist thing that pushed me over the edge of spilling - he wants to command submarines. I told you it was niche!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my concern is just what the immediate PP suggested - he's so young, and close family (including my dinosaur-enabling mother) kept saying, "He'll change his mind! This is just a phase!" So DH and I treated it like a phase, but now I'm not so sure.

Treating it like a phase would mean you don't move to Colorado. It doesn't mean you communicate to your kid that it's a bad thing to be interested in something.

You know, this is a really helpful distinction. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Desperate to know what it really is. Especially now that I know there is a panda endocrinologist out there in the world.

Is he obsessed with:

-the Titanic?
-tornados?
-earthquakes?
-space?
-tortoises?
-the American civil war?
-railroads?

These are all obsessions of adults I know who have had them since childhood and leveraged into fascinating lives.

Help! Throw us a (*not dinosaur) bone, please, OP.

Ok, it's the panda endocrinologist thing that pushed me over the edge of spilling - he wants to command submarines. I told you it was niche!

It may not pan out, but good for him for having a dream! I agree with the PP that the kids with deep specific passions often end up living fascinating and fulfilling lives, even if they do not do exactly what they imagine as adults.

[Anonymous]

I have a passion like that I have had since I was 4. It’s still my primary hobby 4 decades later and I spent some time doing it professionally.

Support your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Desperate to know what it really is. Especially now that I know there is a panda endocrinologist out there in the world.

Is he obsessed with:

-the Titanic?
-tornados?
-earthquakes?
-space?
-tortoises?
-the American civil war?
-railroads?

These are all obsessions of adults I know who have had them since childhood and leveraged into fascinating lives.

Help! Throw us a (*not dinosaur) bone, please, OP.

Ok, it's the panda endocrinologist thing that pushed me over the edge of spilling - he wants to command submarines. I told you it was niche!

How is this niche at all?! There’s an entire US Naval Academy right here in our backyard! (Assuming you’re in the DC area.) There’s a well-defined path for this and a literal military course in submarine command. If that’s what he wants to do, you and he need to just be preparing for a military career.

[Anonymous]

OP, it’s not unusual at all for kids to want to be in the military. Why did you even bother with that stupid dinosaur cover story?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Desperate to know what it really is. Especially now that I know there is a panda endocrinologist out there in the world.

Is he obsessed with:

-the Titanic?
-tornados?
-earthquakes?
-space?
-tortoises?
-the American civil war?
-railroads?

These are all obsessions of adults I know who have had them since childhood and leveraged into fascinating lives.

Help! Throw us a (*not dinosaur) bone, please, OP.

Ok, it's the panda endocrinologist thing that pushed me over the edge of spilling - he wants to command submarines. I told you it was niche!

It's a career in the military. Pretty non-niche/weird, and quite practical. As he gets older, IF he maintains the interest, you can start talking to him about how he can get there and what work he needs to put into it, but for now, let him collect submarines or play commander or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Why are you micromanaging this? It is his interest, go through information on what he has to do to achieve his goal, the likelihood of it, and expected pay, and let him decide from there.

[Anonymous]

As long as this is a legitimate major there shouldn’t be a problem. If was clown school and he wanted to wear clown shoes every day that would be a problem.

[Anonymous]

Live a life you don't need a vacation from.

If he has found a passion, why would you want to crush it and take that away from him? If he chooses not to pursue as a career, and somehow makes a hobby of it, great! I always wished I had a specific passion that I just loved. would be a great way to make real friends and join a group who loves it too. Support him and you can help him research opportunities if he is still into it in a few years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as this is a legitimate major there shouldn’t be a problem. If was clown school and he wanted to wear clown shoes every day that would be a problem.

I would not begrudge clown school. I would begrudge student loans for clown school.