Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah... you know what?
I'm a little tired of people criticizing helicopter parents.

We all do what we think is best for our families. I don't think being close-knit and seeking family togetherness is inherently bad, quite the contrary. I speak as a member of an international family whose relatives are scattered all over the world.

If I thought doing something "non-traditional" for my family was helpful, or if it made me very happy and I could afford it... heck yes, I'd do it!

+1

Refreshing to see a non-judgmental take on here. We're all just people trying to do the best we can. Also, if one family is overly close in your opinion, it shouldn't be seen as a threat to you because your family is different or makes other choices. And they should not feel threatened by your family just because they are less close but more independent. Let's just all mind our own business and stop comparing ourselves to other families. What they're doing is harmless; what you're doing is not hurting anyone either. Live and let others live the way they want to. Comparison is the thief of joy.

It's not really harmless. It causes serious arrested development in their children, which affects their ability to function later. That's a burden for themselves and society writ large. The lack of teaching children independence and resilience and letting them fail on their own actually has massive societal impacts.

Whose child are you taking care of as a result of their parents' helicoptering? I call huge BS on this.

[Anonymous]

Remember that colleges love to encourage this stuff, too. This is all big money for athletics and the development office. These overzealous parents are often way easier to engage than the students themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three cousins all went to bigger Southern schools. They were raised by Gen X parents. One set of parents quite literally bought an apartment where the daughter goes to school so they could attend all of the football home games. They say they give their daughter space and don't sit next to her at the games, but they quite literally fly in every single weekend there is home game at the school where the D goes. Same for the other 2 cousins. Parents bought a house in the city where the S goes to attend all of the games. They also go down to the city where their other D goes all the time, like probably 15+ weekends during a school year.

Is it just a common these days for parents to be so clingy? These kinds of helicopter parents were unheard of when I was in school. Who wants to go to college and have their parents even remotely close to them for the whole weekends for 85% of the academic year?

Gameday condos are normal for wealthy alums of SEC schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah... you know what?
I'm a little tired of people criticizing helicopter parents.

We all do what we think is best for our families. I don't think being close-knit and seeking family togetherness is inherently bad, quite the contrary. I speak as a member of an international family whose relatives are scattered all over the world.

If I thought doing something "non-traditional" for my family was helpful, or if it made me very happy and I could afford it... heck yes, I'd do it!

+2. It’s not hard to MYOFB. No ones interested in your judgment. If this doesn’t work for your family don’t do it. But it’s not harming you.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I have a college upperclassman who does a college EC and freshman parents have apparently been told they are not allowed to attend the "student only" bonding events after asking what time to show up. No college senior wants you in his or her face at a fun event interrogating them about their major, college experience so far, and whatnot. Please back off and let our college kid breathe, moms!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three cousins all went to bigger Southern schools. They were raised by Gen X parents. One set of parents quite literally bought an apartment where the daughter goes to school so they could attend all of the football home games. They say they give their daughter space and don't sit next to her at the games, but they quite literally fly in every single weekend there is home game at the school where the D goes. Same for the other 2 cousins. Parents bought a house in the city where the S goes to attend all of the games. They also go down to the city where their other D goes all the time, like probably 15+ weekends during a school year.

Is it just a common these days for parents to be so clingy? These kinds of helicopter parents were unheard of when I was in school. Who wants to go to college and have their parents even remotely close to them for the whole weekends for 85% of the academic year?

Gameday condos are normal for wealthy alums of SEC schools

This, this, this. You don't understand the culture, OP (which you're better off for).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah... you know what?
I'm a little tired of people criticizing helicopter parents.

We all do what we think is best for our families. I don't think being close-knit and seeking family togetherness is inherently bad, quite the contrary. I speak as a member of an international family whose relatives are scattered all over the world.

If I thought doing something "non-traditional" for my family was helpful, or if it made me very happy and I could afford it... heck yes, I'd do it!

+1

Refreshing to see a non-judgmental take on here. We're all just people trying to do the best we can. Also, if one family is overly close in your opinion, it shouldn't be seen as a threat to you because your family is different or makes other choices. And they should not feel threatened by your family just because they are less close but more independent. Let's just all mind our own business and stop comparing ourselves to other families. What they're doing is harmless; what you're doing is not hurting anyone either. Live and let others live the way they want to. Comparison is the thief of joy.

It's not really harmless. It causes serious arrested development in their children, which affects their ability to function later. That's a burden for themselves and society writ large. The lack of teaching children independence and resilience and letting them fail on their own actually has massive societal impacts.

Drama queens like the op who use hyperbole to fit their narrative cause massive societal issues.

You sound like you have some arrested development yourself. Are you aware of just how immature you come across?

Apparently you are not self-aware.

Oh, honey. Bless your heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah... you know what?
I'm a little tired of people criticizing helicopter parents.

We all do what we think is best for our families. I don't think being close-knit and seeking family togetherness is inherently bad, quite the contrary. I speak as a member of an international family whose relatives are scattered all over the world.

If I thought doing something "non-traditional" for my family was helpful, or if it made me very happy and I could afford it... heck yes, I'd do it!

+1

Refreshing to see a non-judgmental take on here. We're all just people trying to do the best we can. Also, if one family is overly close in your opinion, it shouldn't be seen as a threat to you because your family is different or makes other choices. And they should not feel threatened by your family just because they are less close but more independent. Let's just all mind our own business and stop comparing ourselves to other families. What they're doing is harmless; what you're doing is not hurting anyone either. Live and let others live the way they want to. Comparison is the thief of joy.

It's not really harmless. It causes serious arrested development in their children, which affects their ability to function later. That's a burden for themselves and society writ large. The lack of teaching children independence and resilience and letting them fail on their own actually has massive societal impacts.

Drama queens like the op who use hyperbole to fit their narrative cause massive societal issues.

You sound like you have some arrested development yourself. Are you aware of just how immature you come across?

NP. lol! Pot meet kettle!

You do know that sock-puppetry is prohibited here, right?

[Anonymous]

I saw some wild stuff when DD was in high school. Pay to play private theater groups, kids demanding roles in high school productions and quitting if they didn’t get the role. Parents stomping down to the school to complain. Same things in sports. Getting accommodations for tests when not really necessary.

Fast forward - these are the kids not getting jobs etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three cousins all went to bigger Southern schools. They were raised by Gen X parents. One set of parents quite literally bought an apartment where the daughter goes to school so they could attend all of the football home games. They say they give their daughter space and don't sit next to her at the games, but they quite literally fly in every single weekend there is home game at the school where the D goes. Same for the other 2 cousins. Parents bought a house in the city where the S goes to attend all of the games. They also go down to the city where their other D goes all the time, like probably 15+ weekends during a school year.

Is it just a common these days for parents to be so clingy? These kinds of helicopter parents were unheard of when I was in school. Who wants to go to college and have their parents even remotely close to them for the whole weekends for 85% of the academic year?

Gameday condos are normal for wealthy alums of SEC schools

They’re not alums tho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah... you know what?
I'm a little tired of people criticizing helicopter parents.

We all do what we think is best for our families. I don't think being close-knit and seeking family togetherness is inherently bad, quite the contrary. I speak as a member of an international family whose relatives are scattered all over the world.

If I thought doing something "non-traditional" for my family was helpful, or if it made me very happy and I could afford it... heck yes, I'd do it!

+1

Refreshing to see a non-judgmental take on here. We're all just people trying to do the best we can. Also, if one family is overly close in your opinion, it shouldn't be seen as a threat to you because your family is different or makes other choices. And they should not feel threatened by your family just because they are less close but more independent. Let's just all mind our own business and stop comparing ourselves to other families. What they're doing is harmless; what you're doing is not hurting anyone either. Live and let others live the way they want to. Comparison is the thief of joy.

It's not really harmless. It causes serious arrested development in their children, which affects their ability to function later. That's a burden for themselves and society writ large. The lack of teaching children independence and resilience and letting them fail on their own actually has massive societal impacts.

Drama queens like the op who use hyperbole to fit their narrative cause massive societal issues.

You sound like you have some arrested development yourself. Are you aware of just how immature you come across?

Apparently you are not self-aware.

Oh, honey. Bless your heart.

You first.

[Anonymous]

As to the parent Facebook groups, those are quite helpful sometimes and enormously entertaining always.

Some universities are so large and such unhelpful bureaucracies that it is the only way for your student to find their way through the maze. Parent groups also can help to hold the universities accountable - guess what, students do fall through the cracks.

But at least university has had students outing other students’ parents who were asking true helicopter questions so beware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm almost sixty and when I graduated college back in the dark ages, I don't remember anyone in my group of acquaintances being a 'failure to launch'. However, in our neighborhood, I would say that half of the students have moved back home after college and are not really progressing forward. Students from George Mason, Virginia Tech, UVA, ODU, and some private colleges in Virginia. Taking jobs as dog groomers, personal trainers at a gym, etc. I don't really understand it but I do wonder if it has something to do with overinvolved helicopter parents. I also know a lot more parents who are paying their kids' rent even though the adult child has a job (Larlo doesn't make enough as a teacher to live alone, and he can't have a roomate, etc. ), or paying for cars, expensive vacations, etc. Yeah, it's a rich people problem but it still seems strange to me. There is one family where the adult daughter who still lives at home as joined an adult soccer rec league in our hometown and mom shows up with cupcakes and cookies and cheers for the players at all the games, like she is reliving high school. It seems kind of . . pathological?

Bingo. And all of these people defending are likely helicopter themselves and don’t want to admit that there is clearly something going on. It is a trend of some sort and you can’t claim it’s entirely beneficial and just a ‘close’ family. Growing up in the 70s and early 80s I did not really know any failure to launch kids- my oldest brother was probably the closest thing and asked my parents if he could live at home during college and they said hell no- but now I can think of a dozen adult children living at home or being heavily subsidized by parents. Some of it may be financial and not unreasonable (buying a first home is almost impossible now for many) but some of it is clearly an immaturity that comes from parents doing too much.

[Anonymous]

Seemingly, the ones complaining about helicopter parents are the ones helicoptering everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seemingly, the ones complaining about helicopter parents are the ones helicoptering everyone else.

That’s…not how that works.