Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

09/03/2024 12:29

Subject: Re:Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:How does this impact you, Op?

Have you ever tried working with one of these adult babies after they graduate from college and who have been helicoptered their whole life? They melt instantly when things get rough on the job or they receive underwhelming performance reviews. Kids with no resilience are being raised, and it impacts us all.

09/03/2024 12:30

Subject: Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah... you know what?
I'm a little tired of people criticizing helicopter parents.

We all do what we think is best for our families. I don't think being close-knit and seeking family togetherness is inherently bad, quite the contrary. I speak as a member of an international family whose relatives are scattered all over the world.

If I thought doing something "non-traditional" for my family was helpful, or if it made me very happy and I could afford it... heck yes, I'd do it!

+1

Refreshing to see a non-judgmental take on here. We're all just people trying to do the best we can. Also, if one family is overly close in your opinion, it shouldn't be seen as a threat to you because your family is different or makes other choices. And they should not feel threatened by your family just because they are less close but more independent. Let's just all mind our own business and stop comparing ourselves to other families. What they're doing is harmless; what you're doing is not hurting anyone either. Live and let others live the way they want to. Comparison is the thief of joy.

100% agree. Unfortunately a few responses to your comment showed they missed your point exactly. Stop comparing families. Staying close to your College age kids is a nice thing and is not inappropriate in many cultures and is also not equal to a lack of independence. Sometimes close families forge resilience and strong independence.

09/03/2024 12:30

Subject: Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah... you know what?
I'm a little tired of people criticizing helicopter parents.

We all do what we think is best for our families. I don't think being close-knit and seeking family togetherness is inherently bad, quite the contrary. I speak as a member of an international family whose relatives are scattered all over the world.

If I thought doing something "non-traditional" for my family was helpful, or if it made me very happy and I could afford it... heck yes, I'd do it!

+1

Refreshing to see a non-judgmental take on here. We're all just people trying to do the best we can. Also, if one family is overly close in your opinion, it shouldn't be seen as a threat to you because your family is different or makes other choices. And they should not feel threatened by your family just because they are less close but more independent. Let's just all mind our own business and stop comparing ourselves to other families. What they're doing is harmless; what you're doing is not hurting anyone either. Live and let others live the way they want to. Comparison is the thief of joy.

It's not really harmless. It causes serious arrested development in their children, which affects their ability to function later. That's a burden for themselves and society writ large. The lack of teaching children independence and resilience and letting them fail on their own actually has massive societal impacts.

Drama queens like the op who use hyperbole to fit their narrative cause massive societal issues.

You sound like you have some arrested development yourself. Are you aware of just how immature you come across?

09/03/2024 12:31

Subject: Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three cousins all went to bigger Southern schools. They were raised by Gen X parents. One set of parents quite literally bought an apartment where the daughter goes to school so they could attend all of the football home games. They say they give their daughter space and don't sit next to her at the games, but they quite literally fly in every single weekend there is home game at the school where the D goes. Same for the other 2 cousins. Parents bought a house in the city where the S goes to attend all of the games. They also go down to the city where their other D goes all the time, like probably 15+ weekends during a school year.

Is it just a common these days for parents to be so clingy? These kinds of helicopter parents were unheard of when I was in school. Who wants to go to college and have their parents even remotely close to them for the whole weekends for 85% of the academic year?

Good timing on your post.

Today in Axios: https://www.axios.com/2024/09/03/parent-anxiety-college-facebook-groups

I lurk in these groups for a certain large Virginia state school. There are a handful of mothers who are just over-the-top with their posting about every little thing. I dubbed it the "anxious mommies' facebook group."

Over-the-top parenting that is welcomed by college students often involves sorority rush & sorority matters. (U Alabama & SMU are two that come to mind.)

09/03/2024 12:31

Subject: Re:Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

I'm not at all a helicopter parent (my son is 11 hours away, I've been their twice since 2021).

However, I'd love to buy condos/town homes in the towns where my adult kids go to school. Dorms and off campus rentals are EXPENSIVE. If I could afford it, I would happily buy something rather than pissing 10k down the drain for a crap dorm each year.

09/03/2024 12:31

Subject: Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah... you know what?
I'm a little tired of people criticizing helicopter parents.

We all do what we think is best for our families. I don't think being close-knit and seeking family togetherness is inherently bad, quite the contrary. I speak as a member of an international family whose relatives are scattered all over the world.

If I thought doing something "non-traditional" for my family was helpful, or if it made me very happy and I could afford it... heck yes, I'd do it!

+1

Refreshing to see a non-judgmental take on here. We're all just people trying to do the best we can. Also, if one family is overly close in your opinion, it shouldn't be seen as a threat to you because your family is different or makes other choices. And they should not feel threatened by your family just because they are less close but more independent. Let's just all mind our own business and stop comparing ourselves to other families. What they're doing is harmless; what you're doing is not hurting anyone either. Live and let others live the way they want to. Comparison is the thief of joy.

It's not really harmless. It causes serious arrested development in their children, which affects their ability to function later. That's a burden for themselves and society writ large. The lack of teaching children independence and resilience and letting them fail on their own actually has massive societal impacts.

Drama queens like the op who use hyperbole to fit their narrative cause massive societal issues.

You sound like you have some arrested development yourself. Are you aware of just how immature you come across?

Apparently you are not self-aware.

Subject: Re:Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does this impact you, Op?

Have you ever tried working with one of these adult babies after they graduate from college and who have been helicoptered their whole life? They melt instantly when things get rough on the job or they receive underwhelming performance reviews. Kids with no resilience are being raised, and it impacts us all.

What in OP's post indicates to you that these parents who like to attend football games are raising children who lack resiliency?

Subject: Re:Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does this impact you, Op?

Have you ever tried working with one of these adult babies after they graduate from college and who have been helicoptered their whole life? They melt instantly when things get rough on the job or they receive underwhelming performance reviews. Kids with no resilience are being raised, and it impacts us all.

Yes, exactly.

I have seen every helicopter behavior mentioned here. It's taking a terrible toll on our kids. My kids have messed up plenty, but at the moment, they are well-adjusted college students doing their thing with a minimum of complaining. So proud.

Subject: Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah... you know what?
I'm a little tired of people criticizing helicopter parents.

We all do what we think is best for our families. I don't think being close-knit and seeking family togetherness is inherently bad, quite the contrary. I speak as a member of an international family whose relatives are scattered all over the world.

If I thought doing something "non-traditional" for my family was helpful, or if it made me very happy and I could afford it... heck yes, I'd do it!

+1

Refreshing to see a non-judgmental take on here. We're all just people trying to do the best we can. Also, if one family is overly close in your opinion, it shouldn't be seen as a threat to you because your family is different or makes other choices. And they should not feel threatened by your family just because they are less close but more independent. Let's just all mind our own business and stop comparing ourselves to other families. What they're doing is harmless; what you're doing is not hurting anyone either. Live and let others live the way they want to. Comparison is the thief of joy.

It's not really harmless. It causes serious arrested development in their children, which affects their ability to function later. That's a burden for themselves and society writ large. The lack of teaching children independence and resilience and letting them fail on their own actually has massive societal impacts.

Drama queens like the op who use hyperbole to fit their narrative cause massive societal issues.

You sound like you have some arrested development yourself. Are you aware of just how immature you come across?

NP. lol! Pot meet kettle!

Subject: Re:Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:I'm not at all a helicopter parent (my son is 11 hours away, I've been their twice since 2021).

However, I'd love to buy condos/town homes in the towns where my adult kids go to school. Dorms and off campus rentals are EXPENSIVE. If I could afford it, I would happily buy something rather than pissing 10k down the drain for a crap dorm each year.

The parents are not buyingapartments and homes for their kids. They're buying them for themselves. They'll buy Timmy and Sally their own apartment elsewhere. They just have to be next to their kid every weekend.

Subject: Re:Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does this impact you, Op?

Have you ever tried working with one of these adult babies after they graduate from college and who have been helicoptered their whole life? They melt instantly when things get rough on the job or they receive underwhelming performance reviews. Kids with no resilience are being raised, and it impacts us all.

What in OP's post indicates to you that these parents who like to attend football games are raising children who lack resiliency?

Subject: Re:Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does this impact you, Op?

Have you ever tried working with one of these adult babies after they graduate from college and who have been helicoptered their whole life? They melt instantly when things get rough on the job or they receive underwhelming performance reviews. Kids with no resilience are being raised, and it impacts us all.

I really don't think you can generalize in this way. You sound jealous of some people's close families. Or maybe of their financial ability to rent or buy extra homes to live in. Or maybe you just think anything that isn't what you do is wrong.

OP, and all others who just tear other parents down like this, just sound so stupid and vicious.

It's a gorgeous day. Try to enjoy it instead of being vindictive.

Subject: Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

I'm almost sixty and when I graduated college back in the dark ages, I don't remember anyone in my group of acquaintances being a 'failure to launch'. However, in our neighborhood, I would say that half of the students have moved back home after college and are not really progressing forward. Students from George Mason, Virginia Tech, UVA, ODU, and some private colleges in Virginia. Taking jobs as dog groomers, personal trainers at a gym, etc. I don't really understand it but I do wonder if it has something to do with overinvolved helicopter parents. I also know a lot more parents who are paying their kids' rent even though the adult child has a job (Larlo doesn't make enough as a teacher to live alone, and he can't have a roomate, etc. ), or paying for cars, expensive vacations, etc. Yeah, it's a rich people problem but it still seems strange to me. There is one family where the adult daughter who still lives at home as joined an adult soccer rec league in our hometown and mom shows up with cupcakes and cookies and cheers for the players at all the games, like she is reliving high school. It seems kind of . . pathological?

Subject: Re:Helicopter parents and their presence out of control?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does this impact you, Op?

Have you ever tried working with one of these adult babies after they graduate from college and who have been helicoptered their whole life? They melt instantly when things get rough on the job or they receive underwhelming performance reviews. Kids with no resilience are being raised, and it impacts us all.

This. I’m a lawyer and fully admit that the work environment was unusually harsh at times when I came up, but the shift has been shocking to me. ‘I don’t work weekends. I don’t work after hours. Partner, you do this lower task that should be my job’ and then invariably ‘I cannot believe I didn’t get a stellar review!!!’