Parents/ILs and never ending dinner plans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought vacations were supposed to be leisurely and relaxing not adhering to a military schedule and demanding everyone hop to it.

o
You obviously don’t have kids.

Of course I do. I have 3. But in an earlier thread when the MIL wanted to eat and the kids wanted to sleep all day everyone was like “chill! It’s vacation! Day care is hard. Don’t be so rigid.” And now it’s like “Give them exactly 5 minutes then just leave.” Typical.

This makes no sense. Children who are young enough for daycare don’t “sleep in”.

No, the adult children wanted to sleep in, and they also wanted the grandchildren to have an age appropriate bedtime. But I suspect they're not actually sleeping just getting a break from tedious, pushy boomers. But MIL had the thread deleted so who knows.

But people who actually have kids know that the adults aren’t sleeping in when the young kids are awake, hungry, bored and ready to go. But that was a troll thread anyway because for obvious reasons it never made sense.

They're putting the kids on ipads and trying to snooze. Or they're just avoiding having a really prolonged boring breakfast by running the clock until 30 minutes before closing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought vacations were supposed to be leisurely and relaxing not adhering to a military schedule and demanding everyone hop to it.

o
You obviously don’t have kids.

Of course I do. I have 3. But in an earlier thread when the MIL wanted to eat and the kids wanted to sleep all day everyone was like “chill! It’s vacation! Day care is hard. Don’t be so rigid.” And now it’s like “Give them exactly 5 minutes then just leave.” Typical.

This makes no sense. Children who are young enough for daycare don’t “sleep in”.

No, the adult children wanted to sleep in, and they also wanted the grandchildren to have an age appropriate bedtime. But I suspect they're not actually sleeping just getting a break from tedious, pushy boomers. But MIL had the thread deleted so who knows.

But people who actually have kids know that the adults aren’t sleeping in when the young kids are awake, hungry, bored and ready to go. But that was a troll thread anyway because for obvious reasons it never made sense.

They're putting the kids on ipads and trying to snooze. Or they're just avoiding having a really prolonged boring breakfast by running the clock until 30 minutes before closing.

Those people never existed. Do you undertand what a troll is? There were no tired adults avoiding anyone.

[Anonymous]

We're with in-laws on vacation and we meal planned for the week. Helps a lot. Mapped out what nights we'd go out, what nights we'd eat in and what we'd be eating and grocery shopped for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're probably keeping a much later schedule than you realize and can't adjust.

This.

I get along great with my ILs and my sister and her family and my parents. And our family vacations are always great.

Expect, we normally, as a family, eat dinner at 8:00. Others are used to dinner as early as 5:00. Others are anywhere in between.

I realize we are the outliers (just as much as my parents who like the 5:15 dinner). But its still tough to adjust when they start talking about dinner at 4:30, or suggest we need to get back so we can start cooking.

And on vacation, I'm even more cavalier about when we eat. If we're no duty to cook dinner that night at the beach house, but its a beautiful evening on the beach. I'm not packing up at 5:30 just to make sure dinner is on the table by 6:30. We can eat at 8:30 or 9:00

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone has to eat together all, the, time. Unfortunately, in my experience, grandparents often think you do and take it as a slight if you dare go to a restaurant without them because you’re all in the same place and absolutely must eat with each other every day and caravan to restaurants. Just start the practice I’d saying we’re going here, leaving in a few minutes, if you’d like to pass on it today, that’s fine, we’ll catch you for lunch tomorrow. Or be slick snd make it a date night and say you’ll leave the grandkids with them and get them all take out before you go. 😉

This made my stomach clench. The idea of all meals together. And if we're caravaning to the restaurant, they insist on mixing up everyone between the two cars every time instead of everyone staying in their own.

God yes. So getting in cars becomes a prolonged negotiation and you have to move car seats because they stupidly told your toddler they can ride with them. Never again.

Jesus. You are just adamant about sucking the fun out of vacation for your parents and your kids huh

Riding in Grandpa's car is fun. Let them have it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're probably keeping a much later schedule than you realize and can't adjust.

This.

I get along great with my ILs and my sister and her family and my parents. And our family vacations are always great.

Expect, we normally, as a family, eat dinner at 8:00. Others are used to dinner as early as 5:00. Others are anywhere in between.

I realize we are the outliers (just as much as my parents who like the 5:15 dinner). But its still tough to adjust when they start talking about dinner at 4:30, or suggest we need to get back so we can start cooking.

And on vacation, I'm even more cavalier about when we eat. If we're no duty to cook dinner that night at the beach house, but its a beautiful evening on the beach. I'm not packing up at 5:30 just to make sure dinner is on the table by 6:30. We can eat at 8:30 or 9:00

My kids wouldn’t wait until 830 or 9. It looks like you shirk your cooking duty when it’s your turn. We’d just leave and go eat out rather than wait for the spirit to move you when everyone is starving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're probably keeping a much later schedule than you realize and can't adjust.

This.

I get along great with my ILs and my sister and her family and my parents. And our family vacations are always great.

Expect, we normally, as a family, eat dinner at 8:00. Others are used to dinner as early as 5:00. Others are anywhere in between.

I realize we are the outliers (just as much as my parents who like the 5:15 dinner). But its still tough to adjust when they start talking about dinner at 4:30, or suggest we need to get back so we can start cooking.

And on vacation, I'm even more cavalier about when we eat. If we're no duty to cook dinner that night at the beach house, but its a beautiful evening on the beach. I'm not packing up at 5:30 just to make sure dinner is on the table by 6:30. We can eat at 8:30 or 9:00

My kids wouldn’t wait until 830 or 9. It looks like you shirk your cooking duty when it’s your turn. We’d just leave and go eat out rather than wait for the spirit to move you when everyone is starving.

Okay. Cool, but we're still splitting the grocery bill for that meal.

And honestly, its a family vacation. Which, ya know, is meant to be spent with family. If you'll be too hungry to wait until 8:00, have a snack at 5:00.

Kinda like when the other folks cook, and serve dinner at 5:30. I don't skip it and go out to a later dinner bc I'm so stubborn and stuck in my ways. I eat at 5:30. And then, when I'm hungry again at 10:00, I'll have a snack. See how that works? That's called flexibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're probably keeping a much later schedule than you realize and can't adjust.

This.

I get along great with my ILs and my sister and her family and my parents. And our family vacations are always great.

Expect, we normally, as a family, eat dinner at 8:00. Others are used to dinner as early as 5:00. Others are anywhere in between.

I realize we are the outliers (just as much as my parents who like the 5:15 dinner). But its still tough to adjust when they start talking about dinner at 4:30, or suggest we need to get back so we can start cooking.

And on vacation, I'm even more cavalier about when we eat. If we're no duty to cook dinner that night at the beach house, but its a beautiful evening on the beach. I'm not packing up at 5:30 just to make sure dinner is on the table by 6:30. We can eat at 8:30 or 9:00

My kids wouldn’t wait until 830 or 9. It looks like you shirk your cooking duty when it’s your turn. We’d just leave and go eat out rather than wait for the spirit to move you when everyone is starving.

Okay. Cool, but we're still splitting the grocery bill for that meal.

And honestly, its a family vacation. Which, ya know, is meant to be spent with family. If you'll be too hungry to wait until 8:00, have a snack at 5:00.

Kinda like when the other folks cook, and serve dinner at 5:30. I don't skip it and go out to a later dinner bc I'm so stubborn and stuck in my ways. I eat at 5:30. And then, when I'm hungry again at 10:00, I'll have a snack. See how that works? That's called flexibility.

I'll add: I'm not shirking my duties. I'm not waiting for the spirit to move me. I'm enjoying the vacation.

And threads like this make me very very grateful for my family, which is filled with people that just go with the flow. Nobody would ever pull a stunt like just leaving before dinner because it wasnt served at their preferred time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're probably keeping a much later schedule than you realize and can't adjust.

This.

I get along great with my ILs and my sister and her family and my parents. And our family vacations are always great.

Expect, we normally, as a family, eat dinner at 8:00. Others are used to dinner as early as 5:00. Others are anywhere in between.

I realize we are the outliers (just as much as my parents who like the 5:15 dinner). But its still tough to adjust when they start talking about dinner at 4:30, or suggest we need to get back so we can start cooking.

And on vacation, I'm even more cavalier about when we eat. If we're no duty to cook dinner that night at the beach house, but its a beautiful evening on the beach. I'm not packing up at 5:30 just to make sure dinner is on the table by 6:30. We can eat at 8:30 or 9:00

My kids wouldn’t wait until 830 or 9. It looks like you shirk your cooking duty when it’s your turn. We’d just leave and go eat out rather than wait for the spirit to move you when everyone is starving.

Okay. Cool, but we're still splitting the grocery bill for that meal.

And honestly, its a family vacation. Which, ya know, is meant to be spent with family. If you'll be too hungry to wait until 8:00, have a snack at 5:00.

Kinda like when the other folks cook, and serve dinner at 5:30. I don't skip it and go out to a later dinner bc I'm so stubborn and stuck in my ways. I eat at 5:30. And then, when I'm hungry again at 10:00, I'll have a snack. See how that works? That's called flexibility.

Sorry. Can’t tell young kids to suck it up and be flexible and be grateful for whenever dinner decides to make an appearance on the table. The adults should be more understanding. Again, I would just leave and go feed my kids rather than listen to them complain about hunger for hours. You’re an adult, I would expect you to figure it out for yourself. But kids are a captive audience with little ability to be resourceful and cook a meal or feed themselves. You’re clearly not a parent. My kids come before Auntie and her whims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're probably keeping a much later schedule than you realize and can't adjust.

This.

I get along great with my ILs and my sister and her family and my parents. And our family vacations are always great.

Expect, we normally, as a family, eat dinner at 8:00. Others are used to dinner as early as 5:00. Others are anywhere in between.

I realize we are the outliers (just as much as my parents who like the 5:15 dinner). But its still tough to adjust when they start talking about dinner at 4:30, or suggest we need to get back so we can start cooking.

And on vacation, I'm even more cavalier about when we eat. If we're no duty to cook dinner that night at the beach house, but its a beautiful evening on the beach. I'm not packing up at 5:30 just to make sure dinner is on the table by 6:30. We can eat at 8:30 or 9:00

My kids wouldn’t wait until 830 or 9. It looks like you shirk your cooking duty when it’s your turn. We’d just leave and go eat out rather than wait for the spirit to move you when everyone is starving.

Okay. Cool, but we're still splitting the grocery bill for that meal.

And honestly, its a family vacation. Which, ya know, is meant to be spent with family. If you'll be too hungry to wait until 8:00, have a snack at 5:00.

Kinda like when the other folks cook, and serve dinner at 5:30. I don't skip it and go out to a later dinner bc I'm so stubborn and stuck in my ways. I eat at 5:30. And then, when I'm hungry again at 10:00, I'll have a snack. See how that works? That's called flexibility.

I'll add: I'm not shirking my duties. I'm not waiting for the spirit to move me. I'm enjoying the vacation.

And threads like this make me very very grateful for my family, which is filled with people that just go with the flow. Nobody would ever pull a stunt like just leaving before dinner because it wasnt served at their preferred time

That’s a lot of use of “I” for a family vacation. Me, I, etc. It’s all about you. Kids thrive on a schedule not chaotic meals which may happen at bedtime one day and their regular time the next day. Try to explain flexibility to a hangry 3 yr old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're probably keeping a much later schedule than you realize and can't adjust.

This.

I get along great with my ILs and my sister and her family and my parents. And our family vacations are always great.

Expect, we normally, as a family, eat dinner at 8:00. Others are used to dinner as early as 5:00. Others are anywhere in between.

I realize we are the outliers (just as much as my parents who like the 5:15 dinner). But its still tough to adjust when they start talking about dinner at 4:30, or suggest we need to get back so we can start cooking.

And on vacation, I'm even more cavalier about when we eat. If we're no duty to cook dinner that night at the beach house, but its a beautiful evening on the beach. I'm not packing up at 5:30 just to make sure dinner is on the table by 6:30. We can eat at 8:30 or 9:00

My kids wouldn’t wait until 830 or 9. It looks like you shirk your cooking duty when it’s your turn. We’d just leave and go eat out rather than wait for the spirit to move you when everyone is starving.

Okay. Cool, but we're still splitting the grocery bill for that meal.

And honestly, its a family vacation. Which, ya know, is meant to be spent with family. If you'll be too hungry to wait until 8:00, have a snack at 5:00.

Kinda like when the other folks cook, and serve dinner at 5:30. I don't skip it and go out to a later dinner bc I'm so stubborn and stuck in my ways. I eat at 5:30. And then, when I'm hungry again at 10:00, I'll have a snack. See how that works? That's called flexibility.

I'll add: I'm not shirking my duties. I'm not waiting for the spirit to move me. I'm enjoying the vacation.

And threads like this make me very very grateful for my family, which is filled with people that just go with the flow. Nobody would ever pull a stunt like just leaving before dinner because it wasnt served at their preferred time

That’s a lot of use of “I” for a family vacation. Me, I, etc. It’s all about you. Kids thrive on a schedule not chaotic meals which may happen at bedtime one day and their regular time the next day. Try to explain flexibility to a hangry 3 yr old.

Well, I raised 3 of them. So...I sort of did.

They're never too young to learn that its not all about them. And honestly, when a 3 year old is hangry, and you say "look, dinner isn't for another 2 hours. Have some goldfish and then go back in the pool", they are usually pretty cool with it

[Anonymous]

TBH - No one wants to have dinner with your little kids because they suck the joy out of dining.

You should feed your children and put them to bed. Then come and join the grown ups if you want to, for dinner or for desserts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're probably keeping a much later schedule than you realize and can't adjust.

This.

I get along great with my ILs and my sister and her family and my parents. And our family vacations are always great.

Expect, we normally, as a family, eat dinner at 8:00. Others are used to dinner as early as 5:00. Others are anywhere in between.

I realize we are the outliers (just as much as my parents who like the 5:15 dinner). But its still tough to adjust when they start talking about dinner at 4:30, or suggest we need to get back so we can start cooking.

And on vacation, I'm even more cavalier about when we eat. If we're no duty to cook dinner that night at the beach house, but its a beautiful evening on the beach. I'm not packing up at 5:30 just to make sure dinner is on the table by 6:30. We can eat at 8:30 or 9:00

My kids wouldn’t wait until 830 or 9. It looks like you shirk your cooking duty when it’s your turn. We’d just leave and go eat out rather than wait for the spirit to move you when everyone is starving.

Okay. Cool, but we're still splitting the grocery bill for that meal.

And honestly, its a family vacation. Which, ya know, is meant to be spent with family. If you'll be too hungry to wait until 8:00, have a snack at 5:00.

Kinda like when the other folks cook, and serve dinner at 5:30. I don't skip it and go out to a later dinner bc I'm so stubborn and stuck in my ways. I eat at 5:30. And then, when I'm hungry again at 10:00, I'll have a snack. See how that works? That's called flexibility.

I'll add: I'm not shirking my duties. I'm not waiting for the spirit to move me. I'm enjoying the vacation.

And threads like this make me very very grateful for my family, which is filled with people that just go with the flow. Nobody would ever pull a stunt like just leaving before dinner because it wasnt served at their preferred time

That’s a lot of use of “I” for a family vacation. Me, I, etc. It’s all about you. Kids thrive on a schedule not chaotic meals which may happen at bedtime one day and their regular time the next day. Try to explain flexibility to a hangry 3 yr old.

Well, I raised 3 of them. So...I sort of did.

They're never too young to learn that its not all about them. And honestly, when a 3 year old is hangry, and you say "look, dinner isn't for another 2 hours. Have some goldfish and then go back in the pool", they are usually pretty cool with it

Oh sure now that your kids are grown. Please you’re out of touch and can’t relate to parents with young kids anymore. Throwing goldfish at hungry kids is weak parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TBH - No one wants to have dinner with your little kids because they suck the joy out of dining.

You should feed your children and put them to bed. Then come and join the grown ups if you want to, for dinner or for desserts.

Yes, children should be seen and not heard. The joys of family vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone has to eat together all, the, time. Unfortunately, in my experience, grandparents often think you do and take it as a slight if you dare go to a restaurant without them because you’re all in the same place and absolutely must eat with each other every day and caravan to restaurants. Just start the practice I’d saying we’re going here, leaving in a few minutes, if you’d like to pass on it today, that’s fine, we’ll catch you for lunch tomorrow. Or be slick snd make it a date night and say you’ll leave the grandkids with them and get them all take out before you go. 😉

This made my stomach clench. The idea of all meals together. And if we're caravaning to the restaurant, they insist on mixing up everyone between the two cars every time instead of everyone staying in their own.

God yes. So getting in cars becomes a prolonged negotiation and you have to move car seats because they stupidly told your toddler they can ride with them. Never again.

Jesus. You are just adamant about sucking the fun out of vacation for your parents and your kids huh

Riding in Grandpa's car is fun. Let them have it

It’s a car ride. Not a trip to Disney. When the kid doesn’t need a car seat anymore, then I don’t care. Why is riding in Grandpa’s car fun?