Napping on vacation when you have kids?

[Anonymous]

DH is being selfish.

It's a family vacation and he's not a toddler, spend time with your family, sleep at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Let the poor man sleep. Surely you can figure this out and not resent him. You sound controlling.

Ah, yes, "You sound controlling."

OP sounds like she would like her husband to step up on the parenting. That doesn't seem to be his style, however, so she can either push it ("I know you want a nap this afternoon, so I'll take the kids then, but I'm going to be at the spa/having a leisurely breakfast alone/going to yoga from 8-10, so you're up then.")

Everything else you figure out jointly, with the understanding that neither taking advantage of all the location has to offer nor chilling and doing whatever's easiest is somehow the morally superior choice. Take a vacation from invisible labor.

[Anonymous]

Last time we did a resort vacation we had to balance the free time by the pool with "adventure" activities. Even when the kids were occupied in the pool or at kid's club, we parents didn't have time to do anything like a nap... maybe dozing on the beach under the cabana, but a 2+ hour nap, wtaf?

I don't have time for that at home, much less a busy family vacation... when youv'e got kids with you, it's not about you. Grow up and take care of the kids.

[Anonymous]

I love naps on vacation. It’s not a medical issue, I can get through a day just fine without a nap, it is just a wonderful way to de-stress and relax and really enjoy myself. My husband is the same way.

When the kids were younger we would take turns taking a nap one day while the other parent did an afternoon activity with the kids and then switching. Now that my kids are teens they usually do an activity on their own while we both nap. I’ve never been to a hotel pool that wouldn’t allow 11 year old and 13 year old. But to each their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Let the poor man sleep. Surely you can figure this out and not resent him. You sound controlling.

Ah, yes, "You sound controlling."

OP sounds like she would like her husband to step up on the parenting. That doesn't seem to be his style, however, so she can either push it ("I know you want a nap this afternoon, so I'll take the kids then, but I'm going to be at the spa/having a leisurely breakfast alone/going to yoga from 8-10, so you're up then.")

Everything else you figure out jointly, with the understanding that neither taking advantage of all the location has to offer nor chilling and doing whatever's easiest is somehow the morally superior choice. Take a vacation from invisible labor.

Everyone is telling her to take her own break if she wants it. It doesn't sound like that's what she wants. But also, these aren't little kids. They don't need constant parenting. That's a choice.

[Anonymous]

I think your husband is confusing a vacation and a trip. You are on a trip with your tweens. He needs to rally like it’s his job or a full day of golf. You can alternate who eats breakfast with the kids and take turns sleeping in if needed.

Is this really about sleep - or is he an introvert who needs some alone time away from your kids? A full day with my kids drains me way more than a full day of work. I don’t need a nap on vacation, but I do need some time without their non-stop talking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Let the poor man sleep. Surely you can figure this out and not resent him. You sound controlling.

Ah, yes, "You sound controlling."

OP sounds like she would like her husband to step up on the parenting. That doesn't seem to be his style, however, so she can either push it ("I know you want a nap this afternoon, so I'll take the kids then, but I'm going to be at the spa/having a leisurely breakfast alone/going to yoga from 8-10, so you're up then.")

Everything else you figure out jointly, with the understanding that neither taking advantage of all the location has to offer nor chilling and doing whatever's easiest is somehow the morally superior choice. Take a vacation from invisible labor.

Everyone is telling her to take her own break if she wants it. It doesn't sound like that's what she wants. But also, these aren't little kids. They don't need constant parenting. That's a choice.

Yeah, but they're at the age where you can actually set up fun "adventures" for them—not just dumping them at the kids club. Like, taking them to go see the local mayan ruins, go out on a charter sail boat, etc... and she has the choice of carrying it all herself, giving the kids a memory with everyone but dad, or everyone just sitting around twiddling their thumbs while dad takes an unnecessary nap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last time we did a resort vacation we had to balance the free time by the pool with "adventure" activities. Even when the kids were occupied in the pool or at kid's club, we parents didn't have time to do anything like a nap... maybe dozing on the beach under the cabana, but a 2+ hour nap, wtaf?

I don't have time for that at home, much less a busy family vacation... when youv'e got kids with you, it's not about you. Grow up and take care of the kids.

Have been a parent to kids aged 11 and 13? It doesn’t sound like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your husband is confusing a vacation and a trip. You are on a trip with your tweens. He needs to rally like it’s his job or a full day of golf. You can alternate who eats breakfast with the kids and take turns sleeping in if needed.

Is this really about sleep - or is he an introvert who needs some alone time away from your kids? A full day with my kids drains me way more than a full day of work. I don’t need a nap on vacation, but I do need some time without their non-stop talking.

I don't know if this has been said, but if he's that desperate for sleep, he probably has apnea. Get him a CPAP and watch him come alive on vacation. OP, does he wear a shirt with a neck size larger than 17? If yes, he's 99% for apnea.

[Anonymous]

Why can't your tween/teen entertain themselves for two hours? Of COURSE it's okay to take a two hour break for yourself on vacation! If not while on vacation, then when?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Let the poor man sleep. Surely you can figure this out and not resent him. You sound controlling.

Ah, yes, "You sound controlling."

OP sounds like she would like her husband to step up on the parenting. That doesn't seem to be his style, however, so she can either push it ("I know you want a nap this afternoon, so I'll take the kids then, but I'm going to be at the spa/having a leisurely breakfast alone/going to yoga from 8-10, so you're up then.")

Everything else you figure out jointly, with the understanding that neither taking advantage of all the location has to offer nor chilling and doing whatever's easiest is somehow the morally superior choice. Take a vacation from invisible labor.

Everyone is telling her to take her own break if she wants it. It doesn't sound like that's what she wants. But also, these aren't little kids. They don't need constant parenting. That's a choice.

Yeah, but they're at the age where you can actually set up fun "adventures" for them—not just dumping them at the kids club. Like, taking them to go see the local mayan ruins, go out on a charter sail boat, etc... and she has the choice of carrying it all herself, giving the kids a memory with everyone but dad, or everyone just sitting around twiddling their thumbs while dad takes an unnecessary nap.

You can charter a sailboat *and* take a nap. Are people really out every day in the sun and the middle of the day? No wonder why my dermatologist gives me a million warnings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't your tween/teen entertain themselves for two hours? Of COURSE it's okay to take a two hour break for yourself on vacation! If not while on vacation, then when?

They can probably entertain themselves, but it sounds like OP is trying to set up some special stuff for them. It woudl be a shame if special stuff got set aside so dad can take an unnecessary nap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Let the poor man sleep. Surely you can figure this out and not resent him. You sound controlling.

Ah, yes, "You sound controlling."

OP sounds like she would like her husband to step up on the parenting. That doesn't seem to be his style, however, so she can either push it ("I know you want a nap this afternoon, so I'll take the kids then, but I'm going to be at the spa/having a leisurely breakfast alone/going to yoga from 8-10, so you're up then.")

Everything else you figure out jointly, with the understanding that neither taking advantage of all the location has to offer nor chilling and doing whatever's easiest is somehow the morally superior choice. Take a vacation from invisible labor.

Everyone is telling her to take her own break if she wants it. It doesn't sound like that's what she wants. But also, these aren't little kids. They don't need constant parenting. That's a choice.

Yeah, but they're at the age where you can actually set up fun "adventures" for them—not just dumping them at the kids club. Like, taking them to go see the local mayan ruins, go out on a charter sail boat, etc... and she has the choice of carrying it all herself, giving the kids a memory with everyone but dad, or everyone just sitting around twiddling their thumbs while dad takes an unnecessary nap.

You can charter a sailboat *and* take a nap. Are people really out every day in the sun and the middle of the day? No wonder why my dermatologist gives me a million warnings.

Totally, you CAN schedule your nap around activities, and everyone is happy. But it sounds like dad is not interested in doing that and is being very inflexible about his "nap."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Let the poor man sleep. Surely you can figure this out and not resent him. You sound controlling.

Ah, yes, "You sound controlling."

OP sounds like she would like her husband to step up on the parenting. That doesn't seem to be his style, however, so she can either push it ("I know you want a nap this afternoon, so I'll take the kids then, but I'm going to be at the spa/having a leisurely breakfast alone/going to yoga from 8-10, so you're up then.")

Everything else you figure out jointly, with the understanding that neither taking advantage of all the location has to offer nor chilling and doing whatever's easiest is somehow the morally superior choice. Take a vacation from invisible labor.

Everyone is telling her to take her own break if she wants it. It doesn't sound like that's what she wants. But also, these aren't little kids. They don't need constant parenting. That's a choice.

Yeah, but they're at the age where you can actually set up fun "adventures" for them—not just dumping them at the kids club. Like, taking them to go see the local mayan ruins, go out on a charter sail boat, etc... and she has the choice of carrying it all herself, giving the kids a memory with everyone but dad, or everyone just sitting around twiddling their thumbs while dad takes an unnecessary nap.

You can charter a sailboat *and* take a nap. Are people really out every day in the sun and the middle of the day? No wonder why my dermatologist gives me a million warnings.

Totally, you CAN schedule your nap around activities, and everyone is happy. But it sounds like dad is not interested in doing that and is being very inflexible about his "nap."

I have heard nothing from OP to suggest what you say is true. You are just imaging scenarios. She’s just mad about the lack of constant togetherness.

[Anonymous]

This would irritate me too. Its not even the fact that he's napping but the fact that an unnecessary "need" is controlling every day of your vacation. Napping while everyone is at the hotel sitting around...fine. But having to schedule every day around it is awful. It was awful planning around toddler naps and its even worse for a grown adult. I'm not saying you can't have down time and of course an 11 and 13 year old can entertain themselves for a few hours but everyone on the trip needs to be flexible and consider one another. And if that means dad has to skip his nap for the day, so be it.