Sister-In-Law: I don't get along with her...any advice?

[Anonymous]

No advice as I haven't had a relationship with my SIL for 18 years and I've been married for 20. Luckily we now live 2500 miles away and she doesn't have kids my dc's age.

We lived about an 8 hour drive away when we were first married but I kept her out of my life as everything is drama and it was affecting our marriage early on. Then we moved REALLY far away.

Hugs to you!

[Anonymous]

I find this interesting. I have a SIL I do not care for at all. I am always pleasant when I see her, but I don't go out of my way to make plans with her, don't email, call etc. She seems interested in my kids, but I'm not sure I really want my kids to have a close relationship with her/her kids. Her kids are a few years older than my kids, which isn't an issue, but I worry that her kids will be just like her. The reason I don't care of SIL is she has lied directly to my face and to others I know. She manipulates. I can't help but think she will teach her kids to be the same.

FWIW, there is a third SIL (we all married into the family) and she doesn't care for SIL either. Neither does MIL. I also have a SIL on my side of the family. I get along well with my other two SILs.

[Anonymous]

I used to have the philosophy that there is nothing more important than family - your original, your own, your extended. Whether you married into or biological, family is family. But I stopped trying with my SIL.

She doesn't want to spend time with us, and doesn't take any interest in us - not even a little bit. She almost gets jealous when our brother wants to spend time with us, and she chooses to opt out of those lunches or gatherings. She doesn't seem interested in getting to know or spend time with my kids, but everything seems centered around her own life happenings. She doesn't ask us questions or come to our houses.

It's really odd. We all live in the area (including other extended family), and I get that people are busy with stuff and time can fly by, and lots of people don't want to spend their free time with extended family. Or some people are just introverted and not that social. But this is different. It feels deliberately one way. It's sad, because my kids (older) love hers, but SIL is just cold. What can you do? That's life sometimes.

Sometimes all you can do is be pleasant.

[Anonymous]

I have similar problems have 3 SIl and a MIl been married 26 years and to this day they don't like me. I have tried but there is no hope. The 2 Sil with the Mil they are always busy and we see each other Christmas they are too busy for my kids too especially my daughter because she sees how they are and treat me and she is tired of it. My 3rd Sil she is the worst she is jealous compares sneakes behind my back and talks bad about me to my husband anything she can do to win the better woman award. I am to the point after 27 years I am done with them so much hurt. Sorry for anyone that is going through that. I am a Mil now and Grandma and try to be the best I can be so I don't hurt other's.

[Anonymous]

I have a similar situation. Our youngest son is the same age as my SIL and BIL's oldest son, so it'd be nice if the kids were close. Unfortunately, SIL is very competitive and our time together inevitably turns into SIL try to draw me into comparison of what our sons can do. This is my third son, so I'm way over all that. Our sons both well-behaved and do well in school and in their respective, but different, activities; there's no reason to feel competitive about it.

[Anonymous]

This is an interesting thread. I have two SILs, one I can happily nod and smile and generally like, but the other I just really really dislike. I call her the five-s - superior, snobby, sanctimonious, sentimental, and self-involved. You can't win with some people, every time I try to interact it ends up with her telling us all how great she is, how awesome her life is and how much better she is than we (me?) are. I gave up a couple of years ago - don't engage. Wouldn't mind if the cousins hung out, but she's involved in every interaction, so I avoid making plans.

[Anonymous]

This is an interesting thread. I have two SILs, one I can happily nod and smile and generally like, but the other I just really really dislike. I call her the five-s - superior, snobby, sanctimonious, sentimental, and self-involved. You can't win with some people, every time I try to interact it ends up with her telling us all how great she is, how awesome her life is and how much better she is than we (me?) are. I gave up a couple of years ago - don't engage. Wouldn't mind if the cousins hung out, but she's involved in every interaction, so I avoid making plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an interesting thread. I have two SILs, one I can happily nod and smile and generally like, but the other I just really really dislike. I call her the five-s - superior, snobby, sanctimonious, sentimental, and self-involved. You can't win with some people, every time I try to interact it ends up with her telling us all how great she is, how awesome her life is and how much better she is than we (me?) are. I gave up a couple of years ago - don't engage. Wouldn't mind if the cousins hung out, but she's involved in every interaction, so I avoid making plans.

PP (16:16) here-I can so relate! SIL says stuff like, "Yeah, my whole class hates me because I raise the grading curve." Um, no I'm not thinking that's why they don't like you, lol.

[Anonymous]

So the OP of this thread posted 6 years ago, haha. Some threads come back to life!

[Anonymous]

I have two SILs. One is my brother's wife, the other is my DH's sister.

My brother's wife is awesome and I adore her. We are alike in some ways, but not all. But she's fun, whip smart, and always up for a good time. She's laid back around my family and goes with the flow. Pretty much your perfect in-law material.

My DH's sister is your typical insecure disaster. She's in her 40s, supported by his parents, and is mostly concerned with looking perfectly. She was pretty awful to me when we first started dating, brought up how my DH's ex was her BEST friend and she loved her etc. I've come to see all her lumps and bumps over the years and I do have an affection for her. But she is incredibly selfish and I only trust her so far. We have an easy going superficial relationship now, 10 years in. This is easier to maintain if I keep my distance a bit. She is non-stop drama so if I get sucked into the latest crazy, I find myself getting annoyed and frustrated. If I just keep a surface relationship, we're fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an interesting thread. I have two SILs, one I can happily nod and smile and generally like, but the other I just really really dislike. I call her the five-s - superior, snobby, sanctimonious, sentimental, and self-involved. You can't win with some people, every time I try to interact it ends up with her telling us all how great she is, how awesome her life is and how much better she is than we (me?) are. I gave up a couple of years ago - don't engage. Wouldn't mind if the cousins hung out, but she's involved in every interaction, so I avoid making plans.

She sounds like my SIL! I can also relate to the pp with the SIL who wrecks the curve - hahaha! Every word my SIL utters is either a brag or a criticism. A few years ago, after she received our wedding invitation in the mail, she called to tell me how much she spent on her invitations, five years prior. No other reason, just that. I also gave up and don't share a thing with her. She's toxic.

[Anonymous]

My sister in law is a gold digger and she had her mom raise her children. Her fiance thinks she is a sweetheart and she is nothing but a phony. She never cared about her kids except for the name brand of clothes they wore. She is a fake and shallow human being and I want no part of her. I will not be friends with this type of human. I love her brother and her parents but she can drop off the face of the earth with her phony behaviors we all see through them.