Dating someone who works in politics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This person is not a match for you. Move on.

The annoying part about this statement is that other than this, he's the best boyfriend I've ever had.

In the right match, you do not have to say, "other than this, he's great".

This is not something you will ever fix or change. You are perfectly justified wanting to live a life where you do not have to argue about things.

There are many guys out there who are not daily arguers and also would make great boyfriends.

Finally, your boyfriend is testing a lot of boundaries - disrespectful tone, snide comments, interrupting, etc. This can be an entry into emotionally or verbally abusive relationships - the BF does something boundary-testing and waits to see how you respond. If you don't police/enforce the boundary, the boundary violations increase.

I know you'll say, but my BF is great, he will not abuse me, this is the only thing he does. But, how do you think women get into abusive relationships to start with? The BF is always great in the beginning.

Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:of course you can date someone who works in politics. but whether you want to date this guy? sounds like no. not everyone who works in this field is like this.

Exactly. Former colleague, marginally interested in Dem politics but that's about it, married a Dem operative. Nicest guy, not a fire breather. He works hard, cares about his candidates, etc but that's it. OP's description sounds more about personality than politics.

[Anonymous]

Look, I won't be dramatic like others, I don't think this guy has the potential to be a wife beater or even a verbal abuser of his apolitical princess here. I do think he sounds really high strung and I couldn't deal with that. His comment about "that's just my style" when OP pointed it out to him would make me roll my eyes so hard that they'd snap off the nerve attaching them to my brain. Style is not an excuse for being aggro.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This person is not a match for you. Move on.

The annoying part about this statement is that other than this, he's the best boyfriend I've ever had.

In the right match, you do not have to say, "other than this, he's great".

This is not something you will ever fix or change. You are perfectly justified wanting to live a life where you do not have to argue about things.

There are many guys out there who are not daily arguers and also would make great boyfriends.

Finally, your boyfriend is testing a lot of boundaries - disrespectful tone, snide comments, interrupting, etc. This can be an entry into emotionally or verbally abusive relationships - the BF does something boundary-testing and waits to see how you respond. If you don't police/enforce the boundary, the boundary violations increase.

I know you'll say, but my BF is great, he will not abuse me, this is the only thing he does. But, how do you think women get into abusive relationships to start with? The BF is always great in the beginning.

Ask me how I know.

I don't think that's true at all. Are you seriously suggesting that in a perfect match the guy doesn't have a flaw?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clever people in politics listen (and then take advantage of what you tell them). This guy doesn’t sound like much of a politico.

Have you followed politics in the last decade? Clever people don’t go into politics anymore, only stark raving lunatics, and no one listens. They just insult people and encourage their bases to hate half the country.

+1

Op I so want you to love him but you know you can’t. As a last ditch effort I need you to have a frank conversation with him about how and when he is allowed to channel his political energy. Ask him not to discuss work issues and topics in minutiae on a daily basis because you are more apolitical but tell him you are willing to compromise by giving him a full 30 minutes on Sunday morning for a weekly recap but you really don’t have the bandwidth to follow multiple issues that don’t affect you in major ways. Close by reiterating with other things you like about him and shared interests but be clear that politics is not something you can get into with as much zeal. Good luck

FWIW I am married to such a person but I am autistic and was blessed with the superpower of being able to check out of a conversation lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they think you are a catch then want the ring right there and then. Women give the impression that they have lots of choices because men always pursue them , but they are well aware of quality issues

Ring at 1 Year guy has come in.

lol yup that’s him

[Anonymous]

He sounds like perhaps he enjoys arguing. That gets tiring.

If your values and political views are not aligned, that is going to be very difficult. Especially this year.

[Anonymous]

I worked for a political party and many campaigns including a presidential campaign.

This isn’t a problem of dating someone who works in politics. This is a problem of dating someone who treats you terribly and is inconsiderate while blaming it on politics.

Break up with him.