Wedding season 2024- going gift amount?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Covering your plate” is something I’ve never heard of until coming on this site. $100-200 is my standard depending on who it is/how close I am to the bride or groom.

very common in Italian and some Jewish communities. The bride used to carry a white decorated bag in which guests were supposed to put checks.

But is it expected that the amount put in the bag be equal to what the meal cost?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Covering your plate” is something I’ve never heard of until coming on this site. $100-200 is my standard depending on who it is/how close I am to the bride or groom.

very common in Italian and some Jewish communities. The bride used to carry a white decorated bag in which guests were supposed to put checks.

But is it expected that the amount put in the bag be equal to what the meal cost?

The idea is that you gift to pay for yourself and also "give a little extra" as a real gift. This made more sense when weddings weren't so insanely expensive; I think it was relatively common even 5 years ago that your "plate" was $150, and then if you give $200, its like you are giving a $50 gift. Now that weddings have gotten sooo pricey, the numbers all start to feel very high. Its just a rule of thumb - but the expectation is that if you are financially able, you cover your plate. If you are financially able but still elect to only gift $50, then its considered a social faux pas. Its not like people don't know what the cost of a nice dinner and drinks out on the town costs nowadays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Covering your plate” is something I’ve never heard of until coming on this site. $100-200 is my standard depending on who it is/how close I am to the bride or groom.

very common in Italian and some Jewish communities. The bride used to carry a white decorated bag in which guests were supposed to put checks.

But is it expected that the amount put in the bag be equal to what the meal cost?

The idea is that you gift to pay for yourself and also "give a little extra" as a real gift. This made more sense when weddings weren't so insanely expensive; I think it was relatively common even 5 years ago that your "plate" was $150, and then if you give $200, its like you are giving a $50 gift. Now that weddings have gotten sooo pricey, the numbers all start to feel very high. Its just a rule of thumb - but the expectation is that if you are financially able, you cover your plate. If you are financially able but still elect to only gift $50, then its considered a social faux pas. Its not like people don't know what the cost of a nice dinner and drinks out on the town costs nowadays.

What if the couple has a lavish wedding at $600 a plate?

Why do their wedding costs dictate thei guests' budget?

Are their guests even guests?

Guest: 1. : a person entertained in one's house. 2. : a person to whom hospitality is given.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Covering your plate” is something I’ve never heard of until coming on this site. $100-200 is my standard depending on who it is/how close I am to the bride or groom.

very common in Italian and some Jewish communities. The bride used to carry a white decorated bag in which guests were supposed to put checks.

Why not just charge for tickets upfront if that’s the goal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Covering your plate” is something I’ve never heard of until coming on this site. $100-200 is my standard depending on who it is/how close I am to the bride or groom.

very common in Italian and some Jewish communities. The bride used to carry a white decorated bag in which guests were supposed to put checks.

But is it expected that the amount put in the bag be equal to what the meal cost?

The idea is that you gift to pay for yourself and also "give a little extra" as a real gift. This made more sense when weddings weren't so insanely expensive; I think it was relatively common even 5 years ago that your "plate" was $150, and then if you give $200, its like you are giving a $50 gift. Now that weddings have gotten sooo pricey, the numbers all start to feel very high. Its just a rule of thumb - but the expectation is that if you are financially able, you cover your plate. If you are financially able but still elect to only gift $50, then its considered a social faux pas. Its not like people don't know what the cost of a nice dinner and drinks out on the town costs nowadays.

What if the couple has a lavish wedding at $600 a plate?

Why do their wedding costs dictate thei guests' budget?

Are their guests even guests?

Guest: 1. : a person entertained in one's house. 2. : a person to whom hospitality is given.

Just saying that is the idea behind the concept. You don't have to subscribe to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming you are giving a cash gift, share how much you plan to give and any context for 2024. No, I’m not asking what you gave ten years ago!

- For a standard wedding OR a wedding that was really expensive to travel to, I give $100-150
- For a very nice black tie wedding, I give $200-$250
- ALWAYS x2 for plus one
- All in, thats probably $200-500
- If I am invited but can’t make it, I do a flat $100 from both of us
- i routinely turn down invites if I dont feel “close” because most weddings I am invited to are out of town

I am of a cultural context of “cover your plate” but am well aware for a nice wedding, $200 might not be enough to cover your plate

This sentiment is tacky no matter what your “cultural context.”

I don’t understand this thread—you have no question. You just want to shout onto the internet what you gift at weddings?

I am the OP - the question is literally in the first sentence. Fine, il add "can you" & "share how much you plan to give and any context for 2024". Thanks for not answering the question.

How does me answering the question help anyone? There must be almost countless threads on this already, some of them very recent, threads that I’m pretty sure include what I give—but you think adding “2024” makes this somehow new and relevant? New enough for you to post blah blah blah declaring yourself?

NP
Your “friends” hate you. I know this for a fact.

Nope.

But they definitely hate people who feel the need to declare themselves all over the place.

[Anonymous]

How would you even know what your plate cost? I have no idea. I am attending a wedding this coming fall that will cost us about $3000 for our family of four between airfare, hotel, and some new clothes to meet the wedding's dress code. It seems fancier (based on the dress code) than the last wedding I attended, which was in a park. Last time I gave $250. Am I supposed to give more this time because the wedding probably cost more? Maybe I should have given more to the park people because they saved me $3k in travel and clothes.

[Anonymous]

I give this, always anonymously, never tell anyone who it’s from.

[Anonymous]

Both of the weddings I have been to this year, there was no registry of objects, just "cash for a house," "cash for our future childbearing," etc. I get it--cash is king--but makes it hard to give something modest in a gracious way. It sort of feels like the tip screen you get everywhere now including the ice cream truck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I give this, always anonymously, never tell anyone who it’s from.

And this would be less tacky than all of this "cover your plate" nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$25, $50 if they’re family.

Wow. From just you or from you and your family?
Because depending on your answer you are either really cheap or ridiculously cheap!
$25 gift wouldn’t even cover the cost of your slice of wedding cake, Pp

[Anonymous]

Did all the people who are in the top .001% of incomes disappear? What a bunch of cheapskates.

I’ve never given a family member under $1,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are pretty wealthy. We usually give as much as we feel that we can give without being garish.

So how much are you giving these days or plan to give in 2024?

It is recipient dependent. Between $500 and $10k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a joke? This is extremely cheap.

....to the $25 poster

People gift according to their means. There is no one size fits all. A teacher making $75K and a neurosurgeon making $400K+ should not be held to the same standard.

My general rule is that you do about 0.1% of your salary. If you make $75K, then about $75 for a gift. IF you make $400K, then about $400 for a gift. And always, you adjust according to your means. A person making $75K but with an ailing parent that they are caring for can give less than the $75 if they can't afford more because of medical and uncovered expenses.

I had a friend who came to our wedding whose husband had recently passed from cancer and she had just lost her job. She gave some very inexpensive gifts from our registry (under $15 total) and we were just so very, very happy that she had made it to the wedding. i was touched that she even spent that much on us because I knew that she didn't really have that money to give away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming you are giving a cash gift, share how much you plan to give and any context for 2024. No, I’m not asking what you gave ten years ago!

- For a standard wedding OR a wedding that was really expensive to travel to, I give $100-150
- For a very nice black tie wedding, I give $200-$250
- ALWAYS x2 for plus one
- All in, thats probably $200-500
- If I am invited but can’t make it, I do a flat $100 from both of us
- i routinely turn down invites if I dont feel “close” because most weddings I am invited to are out of town

I am of a cultural context of “cover your plate” but am well aware for a nice wedding, $200 might not be enough to cover your plate

You are being cheap with the $100 for can’t make it if a closer relative. And if a closer person like a niece you are close with and a nice place $1,000 is better.

BTW on Long Island, NYC and NY suburbs of NJ where gifts are higher I got those amounts above in 1996 from 1/2 the guests.