Is My Husband Too Controlling with Spending?

[Anonymous]

OP you are addicted.

[Anonymous]

For that money you better be providing courtesan level sex 1-2 times per week.

[Anonymous]

You don't look as good as you think Op
Get your priorities straight

[Anonymous]

Jesus H christ, how bad can you look that you need that much cosmetic help??? Yikes

[Anonymous]

I mean, whether the amt is reasonable or not, you are being financially dishonest with your husband. It doesnt sound like you earn most (any?) of the HHI, and you are lying to your partner about how much you are spending. That is a major issue. People literally divorce over shit like this, especially if you have no children together, you are a financial liability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats a daycare payment or braces for kids or a week long vacation somewhere. Do you have kids?
We make $300k and i couldnt imagine spending $10k on this.

I don't have kids.

Are you planning to?

[Anonymous]

Men are practical creatures, OP. Men are a lot o better at saving money than women are, we tend to spend everything we make. A big reason men are staying single now is because they view women as being too much of a day-to-day financial risk to their ability to build a nest egg. Just FYI.

[Anonymous]

we make about $750 a year and I dont spend that much. Not on anti aging or on anything extravagant really. I would prefer to have the kids in private and them be able to go to camps, have classes etc. I have botox every 5-6 mos at $425 a pop, use trentinoin, and buy things to use at home.

[Anonymous]

He’s not being controlling. He’s expressing an opinion.

It sounds like you need a budget for your spending on yourself.

I’ve been to those places too and I think the PAs and doctors pressure us to spend more than your husband is controlling you.

We make more than you and I get the temptation to spend but I’d feel really irresponsible spending that much at those places in a year unless most of it went to an actual surgical procedure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only know about the price of botox since I do them too but do fillers and lasers cost you that much? 12k-15k seems like a lot (unless you're being scammed by your cosmetic derm). Or do you mean you spend on other maintenance stuff?

I have an anti-aging treatment schedule

4,000 fillers
3,250 Ultherapy 1x
1,500 preventive Botox 2-3x
1,350 Clear and Brilliant 3x
1,200 mini Fraxel 2x
1,025 Picolaser 1x
800 microneedling 2x

You don’t need all these in your early 30s. Fillers look horrible. Stop trying to look like an influencer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s about 10% of your take-home income after taxes and a reasonable level of retirement savings. That seems high to me but it really depends on the rest of your budget. Do you guys have a budget?

We don't really budget per se, but we are saving a decent amount.
We are maxing our HSA's (8,400 each year) and contributing 13k annually to 401k's (20k including employer matching)
Our monthly take home pay is around 13k and we spend
4,000 on mortgage+utilities
1,300 on food
950 on misc expenses
500 on cars (gas, car taxes, maintenance, car insurance)
450 on travel and entertainment

We also max out our Roth IRA's (14k a year) and we own three rental properties (positive cash flow is small so not including)

Ok, I ran your numbers. Based on your Roth contribution amount, you are under 50

Except...based on their combined income above 250k they'd be ineligible to contribute to a Roth IRA. I call BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s about 10% of your take-home income after taxes and a reasonable level of retirement savings. That seems high to me but it really depends on the rest of your budget. Do you guys have a budget?

We don't really budget per se, but we are saving a decent amount.
We are maxing our HSA's (8,400 each year) and contributing 13k annually to 401k's (20k including employer matching)
Our monthly take home pay is around 13k and we spend
4,000 on mortgage+utilities
1,300 on food
950 on misc expenses
500 on cars (gas, car taxes, maintenance, car insurance)
450 on travel and entertainment

We also max out our Roth IRA's (14k a year) and we own three rental properties (positive cash flow is small so not including)

Ok, I ran your numbers. Based on your Roth contribution amount, you are under 50

Except...based on their combined income above 250k they'd be ineligible to contribute to a Roth IRA. I call BS.

It’s called a Roth conversion PP.

A back door Roth when it’s done in the same year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are practical creatures, OP. Men are a lot o better at saving money than women are, we tend to spend everything we make. A big reason men are staying single now is because they view women as being too much of a day-to-day financial risk to their ability to build a nest egg. Just FYI.

This is bs, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord - that is nuts! How old are you? Why are you filling your face with so many chemicals?! Do you look that old?

I am 40 with 3 kids. I spend probably $1000 a year on face cream/retinol/night serum. That is it. My skin is clear, with very little wrinkles. HHI is $650,000 and I am pretty sure my DH wouldn't bat an eyelash if I spent more.

I’m in my early. 30’s

How do you have that many wrinkles /imperfections to treat if you are
Only in early 30s…….? Even white women don’t age that badly!!

[Anonymous]

I was ready to join the mob with my pitchfork but after reading you don't have kids, I'd say carry on.
This is clearly something you feel strongly about but are you sure you'll be able to hide all the spending? Are you concerned about the inevitable fall out of so many treatments thinning/warping your skin prematurely? Do you find it hard to say no to your aesthetician's recommendations? People here are overreacting because they have kids and thus more expenses and less time to obsess about beauty treatments. Its OK to not share priorities with the masses.