I'm having a hard time believing that someone so obsessed with her looks that she spends 12-15k a year on skincare is not spending much on anything else. Really? Clothing? Nails? Hair? You're really just doing your skin and nothing else? |
+1 |
Wow I'm having a hard time justifying $1000 total a year on botox and make much more. You are probably just starting to look plasticy and he doesn't like it. |
OP, you need to let it go. the things you listed are not self-care, they are vanity purchases. 300K is not a ton in this day and age. what is your family budget? start there |
where is your emergency fund OP? your botoxed forehead is not going to save you if you have major medical expenses--but at least you'll look plastic right? |
I do my own nails, get a few haircuts a year. Probably spend a couple thousand a year on clothing. |
lady - you don't make enough money to justify that amount of spending IMO. |
we have around 70k in a money market account that functions as an emergency fund and we are adding around 4k a month to it. |
Ok, I ran your numbers. Based on your Roth contribution amount, you are under 50 Gross income $300k Fed + State Tax (25%) $75,000 HSA 8,300 (you can't have two of these--that's the family limit) 401(k) $13,000 Roth IRA $13,000 Mortgage $48,000 Groceries $15,600 Misc (utilities, household) $11,400 Cars $6,000 Travel/Entertainment $5,400 Beauty $15,000 This leaves $88,300 unaccounted for. Thoughts: 1. Your savings rate is on the low side. Including your HSA which I suspect you are also spending from since you didn't list medical expenses, you are only saving 11-12% of your gross income. This is under the recommended 15%. 2. You show no child expenses. Either you have not had kids yet, don't plan to, or have them and they are very young. If you anticipate raising kids, plan on spending a couple thousand a month on increased costs. 3. You did not list any sinking funds (car, home maintenance) except for travel/entertainment. When these big expenses arise for a new car, HVAC, roof, etc., where will this money come from? You should be saving 10% of your income for these kinds of things. 4. You show no pets. Hopefully this means you don't have any pets. 5. You show no debt payments other than the mortgage. Hopefully this means you don't have any other debt. 6. What about gifts, life insurance, clothes, mobile phone? If your numbers are correct, your fixed costs are low and you do have some flexibility. If you want to spend $1,250 a month on beauty, you probably can, but I recommend you make some other changes. 1. Increase 401k so you are both contributing $13,000, going to $26,000 between the two of you. 2. Begin saving $2,500-$3,000 a month into a sinking fund for car repair/replacement and home maintenance. Then actually track your spending and see if that's where you want your money to go. You and your spouse need to agree on a long-term vision then not get upset over the details. |
Wow that is a ton of money for those things at your HHI. I would be mad about it too if I were your DH. Stick with botox and tretinoin with sunscreen and call it a day. |
No car payment, I'm on my parents cellphone plan, so I don't pay for this. The money for unexpected expenses will come from my emergency fund. |
Either this is a troll (please!) or you are completely out of touch OP! Way too much money on these things. I feel guilt over my color/highlights every 8 weeks ($175) to cover the gray! And we make $150k more than you do. |
Our hhi is 420k a year and I spend less than $100 a year on “self care” (one haircut). I just don’t care about that stuff. Since wfh started, I don’t buy clothes or accessories for myself anymore other than to replace worn out necessities. My self care is running and having alone time carved out. But, I spend freely on my kid - activities, camps, travel, private school. Others may think some of these things are absurd. Each person/family is different. |
No it is not "relatively small amount of our income" Do you not understand math, taxes and fiances in general? You are absolutely wrong. Team DH. And lying to your partner is just horrible, especially for this dumbass reason. |
Sure you do. |