Is My Husband Too Controlling with Spending?

[Anonymous]

We have been arguing recently over my self-care spending for cosmetic treatments. My husband thinks I spend too much money on Botox, fillers, and laser treatments, but I feel that I am spending a reasonable amount relative to our income. I spend 12k-15k a year on preventive anti-aging skincare treatments and we make around 250k-300k a year. After he started criticizing me for this spending, I pretended to cut back on it, but I am still getting these treatments without telling him. I feel that he is being too controlling and manipulative because I do not spend much money on anything else and this is a relatively small amount of our income.

[Anonymous]

well, spending that much money is absurd.

[Anonymous]

That’s about 10% of your take-home income after taxes and a reasonable level of retirement savings. That seems high to me but it really depends on the rest of your budget. Do you guys have a budget?

[Anonymous]

He probably doesnt like how it looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have been arguing recently over my self-care spending for cosmetic treatments. My husband thinks I spend too much money on Botox, fillers, and laser treatments, but I feel that I am spending a reasonable amount relative to our income. I spend 12k-15k a year on preventive anti-aging skincare treatments and we make around 250k-300k a year. After he started criticizing me for this spending, I pretended to cut back on it, but I am still getting these treatments without telling him. I feel that he is being too controlling and manipulative because I do not spend much money on anything else and this is a relatively small amount of our income.

here's the tell

[Anonymous]

I only know about the price of botox since I do them too but do fillers and lasers cost you that much? 12k-15k seems like a lot (unless you're being scammed by your cosmetic derm). Or do you mean you spend on other maintenance stuff?

[Anonymous]

Wow. The most important thing to do is actually use sunscreen. Even using expensive sunscreen you are not going to spend 15,000 a year on it. That is insane money. How bad is your skin???

[Anonymous]

This must be a troll. Our HHI is $250k and spending even $5000/year on cosmetic treatments would be totally unjustifiable.

[Anonymous]

It’s probably a troll but AS ALWAYS ON DCUM
1) have a budget
2) include an amount agreeable to everyone for personal discretionary spending
3) stop arguing about what is “reasonable” or “normal” or whatever within that category. As long as it’s in the budget, you don’t have to justify to anyone.

[Anonymous]

My H and I each get an "allowance" each month from our joint account to spend as we wish. Why dont you guys start something like that? Figure out what an appropriate amount is, and then you can use your allowance for those treatments and it wont be any of his business.

[Anonymous]

" we make around 250k-300k a year" and how much of that portion is your contribution, OP?

Our income is in that range, and our splurge is $25K/year on private school tuition which feels like a lot on our income. I can't imagine spending half of my kid's education funds for skincare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s about 10% of your take-home income after taxes and a reasonable level of retirement savings. That seems high to me but it really depends on the rest of your budget. Do you guys have a budget?

We don't really budget per se, but we are saving a decent amount.
We are maxing our HSA's (8,400 each year) and contributing 13k annually to 401k's (20k including employer matching)
Our monthly take home pay is around 13k and we spend
4,000 on mortgage+utilities
1,300 on food
950 on misc expenses
500 on cars (gas, car taxes, maintenance, car insurance)
450 on travel and entertainment

We also max out our Roth IRA's (14k a year) and we own three rental properties (positive cash flow is small so not including)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. The most important thing to do is actually use sunscreen. Even using expensive sunscreen you are not going to spend 15,000 a year on it. That is insane money. How bad is your skin???

My skin is fine, I have been wearing daily sunscreen since I was a teenager.

[Anonymous]

lOL

[Anonymous]

Thats a daycare payment or braces for kids or a week long vacation somewhere. Do you have kids?
We make $300k and i couldnt imagine spending $10k on this.