The guilt around weening toddler

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look OP as someone who did extended breastfeeding, weaning is hard. People who havent done it or had their child self-wean earlier also have trouble understanding.
There is a gentle way to do it but- and a big but- no matter how you do it, it will cause some discomfort and tears and emotions at this age.

I did lots of reading books about weaning and slowly cut down both in sessions and duration of nursing sessions until we were down to just bookends for sleep. Naps were easier to wean than bedtime but thats because it had become part of the ritual just like pacis and stuffies/blankies or special music or if mommy always does bedtime and now daddy has to because mom changed her job.

Your hormones are haywire. You wish it could be logical and straightforward but youre dealing with a toddler AND you wonder if you did this to yourself (as do many who are unsupportive of breastfeeding, in general or specifically after 1) but I loved breastfeeding until I didnt. And once one party doesnt want to participate, it becomes a consent and bodily autonomy issue.

I did get a lot of pressure from people outside of the breastfeeding community to stop breastfeeding as well as judgement about cosleeping but thats what worked best for my family. I keep mum about their practices that I dont agree with but just like there are crazy breastfeeding advocates there are crazy anti-breastfeeding advocates who believe breastfeeding is anti-feminist and anyone who breastfeeds is a martyr.

No, not "just like". Only the breastfeeding advocates are supported by the medical establishment. Yes there are pediatricians who would tell people to stop at 1 year because as you know it is hard to wean a toddler. But that's not what drives hospital policies or gets pushed by the AAP.

If you want to be real the hospital policies are driven by cost saving measures it's not anything to do with breastfeeding so don't f****** make it about breastfeeding advocates.
And there are plenty of pediatricians who tell people stop at x because breast milk has no nutritional value after age 1.
And I hate these back and forth arguments about breastfeeding versus not breastfeeding staying at home versus work at home mom daycare versus Nanny and the reason we have so much anxiety about these choices is because women and children are not supported through our policies. While there is a lot of angst around some of these decisions and other places in the world I can promise you that there is not this much back and forth about breastfeeding or about safe sleep or anything else.

So when, after I told my therapist that I was having suicidal thoughts she said medication was not an option because I was breastfeeding, that was a cost saving measure and has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When the AAP puts out ridiculous research briefs that treat observational studies like RCTs, that has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When hospitals implement cost saving measures and justify them based on increasing breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocates say NOTHING, they are not complicit? GTFOOH. They LOVE room sharing. They think women who are willing to be away from their newborns are not real women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look OP as someone who did extended breastfeeding, weaning is hard. People who havent done it or had their child self-wean earlier also have trouble understanding.
There is a gentle way to do it but- and a big but- no matter how you do it, it will cause some discomfort and tears and emotions at this age.

I did lots of reading books about weaning and slowly cut down both in sessions and duration of nursing sessions until we were down to just bookends for sleep. Naps were easier to wean than bedtime but thats because it had become part of the ritual just like pacis and stuffies/blankies or special music or if mommy always does bedtime and now daddy has to because mom changed her job.

Your hormones are haywire. You wish it could be logical and straightforward but youre dealing with a toddler AND you wonder if you did this to yourself (as do many who are unsupportive of breastfeeding, in general or specifically after 1) but I loved breastfeeding until I didnt. And once one party doesnt want to participate, it becomes a consent and bodily autonomy issue.

I did get a lot of pressure from people outside of the breastfeeding community to stop breastfeeding as well as judgement about cosleeping but thats what worked best for my family. I keep mum about their practices that I dont agree with but just like there are crazy breastfeeding advocates there are crazy anti-breastfeeding advocates who believe breastfeeding is anti-feminist and anyone who breastfeeds is a martyr.

No, not "just like". Only the breastfeeding advocates are supported by the medical establishment. Yes there are pediatricians who would tell people to stop at 1 year because as you know it is hard to wean a toddler. But that's not what drives hospital policies or gets pushed by the AAP.

If you want to be real the hospital policies are driven by cost saving measures it's not anything to do with breastfeeding so don't f****** make it about breastfeeding advocates.
And there are plenty of pediatricians who tell people stop at x because breast milk has no nutritional value after age 1.
And I hate these back and forth arguments about breastfeeding versus not breastfeeding staying at home versus work at home mom daycare versus Nanny and the reason we have so much anxiety about these choices is because women and children are not supported through our policies. While there is a lot of angst around some of these decisions and other places in the world I can promise you that there is not this much back and forth about breastfeeding or about safe sleep or anything else.

So when, after I told my therapist that I was having suicidal thoughts she said medication was not an option because I was breastfeeding, that was a cost saving measure and has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When the AAP puts out ridiculous research briefs that treat observational studies like RCTs, that has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When hospitals implement cost saving measures and justify them based on increasing breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocates say NOTHING, they are not complicit? GTFOOH. They LOVE room sharing. They think women who are willing to be away from their newborns are not real women.

Thats on your therapist. Women can 100% be on psych meds while breastfeedng and while pregnant.

Im sorry you dont know how to advocate for yourself or look for peer reviewed studies or look up any other resources. Thats your shi% therapist not anyone else.

You have some real issues. And have decided to take them out on breastfeeding. You might want to get a new therapist who specializes in transference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look OP as someone who did extended breastfeeding, weaning is hard. People who havent done it or had their child self-wean earlier also have trouble understanding.
There is a gentle way to do it but- and a big but- no matter how you do it, it will cause some discomfort and tears and emotions at this age.

I did lots of reading books about weaning and slowly cut down both in sessions and duration of nursing sessions until we were down to just bookends for sleep. Naps were easier to wean than bedtime but thats because it had become part of the ritual just like pacis and stuffies/blankies or special music or if mommy always does bedtime and now daddy has to because mom changed her job.

Your hormones are haywire. You wish it could be logical and straightforward but youre dealing with a toddler AND you wonder if you did this to yourself (as do many who are unsupportive of breastfeeding, in general or specifically after 1) but I loved breastfeeding until I didnt. And once one party doesnt want to participate, it becomes a consent and bodily autonomy issue.

I did get a lot of pressure from people outside of the breastfeeding community to stop breastfeeding as well as judgement about cosleeping but thats what worked best for my family. I keep mum about their practices that I dont agree with but just like there are crazy breastfeeding advocates there are crazy anti-breastfeeding advocates who believe breastfeeding is anti-feminist and anyone who breastfeeds is a martyr.

No, not "just like". Only the breastfeeding advocates are supported by the medical establishment. Yes there are pediatricians who would tell people to stop at 1 year because as you know it is hard to wean a toddler. But that's not what drives hospital policies or gets pushed by the AAP.

If you want to be real the hospital policies are driven by cost saving measures it's not anything to do with breastfeeding so don't f****** make it about breastfeeding advocates.
And there are plenty of pediatricians who tell people stop at x because breast milk has no nutritional value after age 1.
And I hate these back and forth arguments about breastfeeding versus not breastfeeding staying at home versus work at home mom daycare versus Nanny and the reason we have so much anxiety about these choices is because women and children are not supported through our policies. While there is a lot of angst around some of these decisions and other places in the world I can promise you that there is not this much back and forth about breastfeeding or about safe sleep or anything else.

So when, after I told my therapist that I was having suicidal thoughts she said medication was not an option because I was breastfeeding, that was a cost saving measure and has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When the AAP puts out ridiculous research briefs that treat observational studies like RCTs, that has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When hospitals implement cost saving measures and justify them based on increasing breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocates say NOTHING, they are not complicit? GTFOOH. They LOVE room sharing. They think women who are willing to be away from their newborns are not real women.

Thats on your therapist. Women can 100% be on psych meds while breastfeedng and while pregnant.

Im sorry you dont know how to advocate for yourself or look for peer reviewed studies or look up any other resources. Thats your shi% therapist not anyone else.

You have some real issues. And have decided to take them out on breastfeeding. You might want to get a new therapist who specializes in transference.

See, this type of discourse - that it's on individual women (including those going through difficult mental health issues) to dismiss medical advice - is so typical of the gaslighting from breastfeeding advocates. I breastfed for 14 months. I am not against breastfeeding. I am against people like you who attack women for being critical of breastfeeding advocates, many of whom do and say horrible things to promote their agenda. Sorry you don't like it. You won't bully me into shutting up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look OP as someone who did extended breastfeeding, weaning is hard. People who havent done it or had their child self-wean earlier also have trouble understanding.
There is a gentle way to do it but- and a big but- no matter how you do it, it will cause some discomfort and tears and emotions at this age.

I did lots of reading books about weaning and slowly cut down both in sessions and duration of nursing sessions until we were down to just bookends for sleep. Naps were easier to wean than bedtime but thats because it had become part of the ritual just like pacis and stuffies/blankies or special music or if mommy always does bedtime and now daddy has to because mom changed her job.

Your hormones are haywire. You wish it could be logical and straightforward but youre dealing with a toddler AND you wonder if you did this to yourself (as do many who are unsupportive of breastfeeding, in general or specifically after 1) but I loved breastfeeding until I didnt. And once one party doesnt want to participate, it becomes a consent and bodily autonomy issue.

I did get a lot of pressure from people outside of the breastfeeding community to stop breastfeeding as well as judgement about cosleeping but thats what worked best for my family. I keep mum about their practices that I dont agree with but just like there are crazy breastfeeding advocates there are crazy anti-breastfeeding advocates who believe breastfeeding is anti-feminist and anyone who breastfeeds is a martyr.

No, not "just like". Only the breastfeeding advocates are supported by the medical establishment. Yes there are pediatricians who would tell people to stop at 1 year because as you know it is hard to wean a toddler. But that's not what drives hospital policies or gets pushed by the AAP.

If you want to be real the hospital policies are driven by cost saving measures it's not anything to do with breastfeeding so don't f****** make it about breastfeeding advocates.
And there are plenty of pediatricians who tell people stop at x because breast milk has no nutritional value after age 1.
And I hate these back and forth arguments about breastfeeding versus not breastfeeding staying at home versus work at home mom daycare versus Nanny and the reason we have so much anxiety about these choices is because women and children are not supported through our policies. While there is a lot of angst around some of these decisions and other places in the world I can promise you that there is not this much back and forth about breastfeeding or about safe sleep or anything else.

So when, after I told my therapist that I was having suicidal thoughts she said medication was not an option because I was breastfeeding, that was a cost saving measure and has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When the AAP puts out ridiculous research briefs that treat observational studies like RCTs, that has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When hospitals implement cost saving measures and justify them based on increasing breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocates say NOTHING, they are not complicit? GTFOOH. They LOVE room sharing. They think women who are willing to be away from their newborns are not real women.

Thats on your therapist. Women can 100% be on psych meds while breastfeedng and while pregnant.

Im sorry you dont know how to advocate for yourself or look for peer reviewed studies or look up any other resources. Thats your shi% therapist not anyone else.

You have some real issues. And have decided to take them out on breastfeeding. You might want to get a new therapist who specializes in transference.

This.

Postpartum mental health care in the U.S. is a catastrophe. I failed the Edinburgh questionnaire and my practice still didn’t want to see me before my six week checkup— breastfeeding irrelevant.

But making that the focus of all your rage seems disordered and I hope you’re working on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look OP as someone who did extended breastfeeding, weaning is hard. People who havent done it or had their child self-wean earlier also have trouble understanding.
There is a gentle way to do it but- and a big but- no matter how you do it, it will cause some discomfort and tears and emotions at this age.

I did lots of reading books about weaning and slowly cut down both in sessions and duration of nursing sessions until we were down to just bookends for sleep. Naps were easier to wean than bedtime but thats because it had become part of the ritual just like pacis and stuffies/blankies or special music or if mommy always does bedtime and now daddy has to because mom changed her job.

Your hormones are haywire. You wish it could be logical and straightforward but youre dealing with a toddler AND you wonder if you did this to yourself (as do many who are unsupportive of breastfeeding, in general or specifically after 1) but I loved breastfeeding until I didnt. And once one party doesnt want to participate, it becomes a consent and bodily autonomy issue.

I did get a lot of pressure from people outside of the breastfeeding community to stop breastfeeding as well as judgement about cosleeping but thats what worked best for my family. I keep mum about their practices that I dont agree with but just like there are crazy breastfeeding advocates there are crazy anti-breastfeeding advocates who believe breastfeeding is anti-feminist and anyone who breastfeeds is a martyr.

No, not "just like". Only the breastfeeding advocates are supported by the medical establishment. Yes there are pediatricians who would tell people to stop at 1 year because as you know it is hard to wean a toddler. But that's not what drives hospital policies or gets pushed by the AAP.

If you want to be real the hospital policies are driven by cost saving measures it's not anything to do with breastfeeding so don't f****** make it about breastfeeding advocates.
And there are plenty of pediatricians who tell people stop at x because breast milk has no nutritional value after age 1.
And I hate these back and forth arguments about breastfeeding versus not breastfeeding staying at home versus work at home mom daycare versus Nanny and the reason we have so much anxiety about these choices is because women and children are not supported through our policies. While there is a lot of angst around some of these decisions and other places in the world I can promise you that there is not this much back and forth about breastfeeding or about safe sleep or anything else.

So when, after I told my therapist that I was having suicidal thoughts she said medication was not an option because I was breastfeeding, that was a cost saving measure and has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When the AAP puts out ridiculous research briefs that treat observational studies like RCTs, that has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When hospitals implement cost saving measures and justify them based on increasing breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocates say NOTHING, they are not complicit? GTFOOH. They LOVE room sharing. They think women who are willing to be away from their newborns are not real women.

Thats on your therapist. Women can 100% be on psych meds while breastfeedng and while pregnant.

Im sorry you dont know how to advocate for yourself or look for peer reviewed studies or look up any other resources. Thats your shi% therapist not anyone else.

You have some real issues. And have decided to take them out on breastfeeding. You might want to get a new therapist who specializes in transference.

See, this type of discourse - that it's on individual women (including those going through difficult mental health issues) to dismiss medical advice - is so typical of the gaslighting from breastfeeding advocates. I breastfed for 14 months. I am not against breastfeeding. I am against people like you who attack women for being critical of breastfeeding advocates, many of whom do and say horrible things to promote their agenda. Sorry you don't like it. You won't bully me into shutting up.

Yes! Thank you. I’ma different poster but I agree. It’s not reasonable to expect a tired breastfeeding mom who feels the weight of prioritizing her child’s lifelong health to know how and when to disregard explicit medical advice. That’s ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look OP as someone who did extended breastfeeding, weaning is hard. People who havent done it or had their child self-wean earlier also have trouble understanding.
There is a gentle way to do it but- and a big but- no matter how you do it, it will cause some discomfort and tears and emotions at this age.

I did lots of reading books about weaning and slowly cut down both in sessions and duration of nursing sessions until we were down to just bookends for sleep. Naps were easier to wean than bedtime but thats because it had become part of the ritual just like pacis and stuffies/blankies or special music or if mommy always does bedtime and now daddy has to because mom changed her job.

Your hormones are haywire. You wish it could be logical and straightforward but youre dealing with a toddler AND you wonder if you did this to yourself (as do many who are unsupportive of breastfeeding, in general or specifically after 1) but I loved breastfeeding until I didnt. And once one party doesnt want to participate, it becomes a consent and bodily autonomy issue.

I did get a lot of pressure from people outside of the breastfeeding community to stop breastfeeding as well as judgement about cosleeping but thats what worked best for my family. I keep mum about their practices that I dont agree with but just like there are crazy breastfeeding advocates there are crazy anti-breastfeeding advocates who believe breastfeeding is anti-feminist and anyone who breastfeeds is a martyr.

No, not "just like". Only the breastfeeding advocates are supported by the medical establishment. Yes there are pediatricians who would tell people to stop at 1 year because as you know it is hard to wean a toddler. But that's not what drives hospital policies or gets pushed by the AAP.

If you want to be real the hospital policies are driven by cost saving measures it's not anything to do with breastfeeding so don't f****** make it about breastfeeding advocates.
And there are plenty of pediatricians who tell people stop at x because breast milk has no nutritional value after age 1.
And I hate these back and forth arguments about breastfeeding versus not breastfeeding staying at home versus work at home mom daycare versus Nanny and the reason we have so much anxiety about these choices is because women and children are not supported through our policies. While there is a lot of angst around some of these decisions and other places in the world I can promise you that there is not this much back and forth about breastfeeding or about safe sleep or anything else.

So when, after I told my therapist that I was having suicidal thoughts she said medication was not an option because I was breastfeeding, that was a cost saving measure and has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When the AAP puts out ridiculous research briefs that treat observational studies like RCTs, that has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When hospitals implement cost saving measures and justify them based on increasing breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocates say NOTHING, they are not complicit? GTFOOH. They LOVE room sharing. They think women who are willing to be away from their newborns are not real women.

Thats on your therapist. Women can 100% be on psych meds while breastfeedng and while pregnant.

Im sorry you dont know how to advocate for yourself or look for peer reviewed studies or look up any other resources. Thats your shi% therapist not anyone else.

You have some real issues. And have decided to take them out on breastfeeding. You might want to get a new therapist who specializes in transference.

Not to be pedantic but no it isn’t— a therapist cannot prescribe meds. Only a doctor. So if she said “oh drugs might not be an option if you’re nursing” PP would still have needed to seek out an actual licensed physician to discuss those options, and the therapist would have likely said so.

Making pro-breastfeeding the boogeyman of postpartum care in the U.S. is still amazingly misguided given the history and politics connected to the alternatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look OP as someone who did extended breastfeeding, weaning is hard. People who havent done it or had their child self-wean earlier also have trouble understanding.
There is a gentle way to do it but- and a big but- no matter how you do it, it will cause some discomfort and tears and emotions at this age.

I did lots of reading books about weaning and slowly cut down both in sessions and duration of nursing sessions until we were down to just bookends for sleep. Naps were easier to wean than bedtime but thats because it had become part of the ritual just like pacis and stuffies/blankies or special music or if mommy always does bedtime and now daddy has to because mom changed her job.

Your hormones are haywire. You wish it could be logical and straightforward but youre dealing with a toddler AND you wonder if you did this to yourself (as do many who are unsupportive of breastfeeding, in general or specifically after 1) but I loved breastfeeding until I didnt. And once one party doesnt want to participate, it becomes a consent and bodily autonomy issue.

I did get a lot of pressure from people outside of the breastfeeding community to stop breastfeeding as well as judgement about cosleeping but thats what worked best for my family. I keep mum about their practices that I dont agree with but just like there are crazy breastfeeding advocates there are crazy anti-breastfeeding advocates who believe breastfeeding is anti-feminist and anyone who breastfeeds is a martyr.

No, not "just like". Only the breastfeeding advocates are supported by the medical establishment. Yes there are pediatricians who would tell people to stop at 1 year because as you know it is hard to wean a toddler. But that's not what drives hospital policies or gets pushed by the AAP.

If you want to be real the hospital policies are driven by cost saving measures it's not anything to do with breastfeeding so don't f****** make it about breastfeeding advocates.
And there are plenty of pediatricians who tell people stop at x because breast milk has no nutritional value after age 1.
And I hate these back and forth arguments about breastfeeding versus not breastfeeding staying at home versus work at home mom daycare versus Nanny and the reason we have so much anxiety about these choices is because women and children are not supported through our policies. While there is a lot of angst around some of these decisions and other places in the world I can promise you that there is not this much back and forth about breastfeeding or about safe sleep or anything else.

So when, after I told my therapist that I was having suicidal thoughts she said medication was not an option because I was breastfeeding, that was a cost saving measure and has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When the AAP puts out ridiculous research briefs that treat observational studies like RCTs, that has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When hospitals implement cost saving measures and justify them based on increasing breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocates say NOTHING, they are not complicit? GTFOOH. They LOVE room sharing. They think women who are willing to be away from their newborns are not real women.

Thats on your therapist. Women can 100% be on psych meds while breastfeedng and while pregnant.

Im sorry you dont know how to advocate for yourself or look for peer reviewed studies or look up any other resources. Thats your shi% therapist not anyone else.

You have some real issues. And have decided to take them out on breastfeeding. You might want to get a new therapist who specializes in transference.

Not to be pedantic but no it isn’t— a therapist cannot prescribe meds. Only a doctor. So if she said “oh drugs might not be an option if you’re nursing” PP would still have needed to seek out an actual licensed physician to discuss those options, and the therapist would have likely said so.

Making pro-breastfeeding the boogeyman of postpartum care in the U.S. is still amazingly misguided given the history and politics connected to the alternatives.

That's not what she said. She said it wasn't an option. And sure, looking back, I should have requested a referral for a psychiatrist, but it's on you if your instinct is to bash people for not doing the exact correct thing when they are feeling suicidal. It was not easy for me to reach out for help at that time and I had no idea how much I needed meds at the time. And yes, the pro breastfeeding at all costs movement encourages BS like this, no matter how much you want to gaslight and bully me.

[Anonymous]

PS the correct thing to say as a therapist if you think someone could benefit from meds is "talk to a psychiatrist". Breastfeeding should not even be a part of that convo, but it was because our medical establishment pushes breastfeeding regardless of the costs to women. Our time doesn't matter, our mental health doesn't matter (we'll be told breastfeeding helps mental health! No matter the reality/) our sleep doesn't matter (ignore people who tell you you deserve to sleep!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Then leave the group. Personally, I'd just go cold turkey. A 2 year old will deal, and you are probably harming his teeth by nursing all night. I've done it both ways with different kids, and this seems like the better way to go. I promise your kid will be fine and will not remember this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look OP as someone who did extended breastfeeding, weaning is hard. People who havent done it or had their child self-wean earlier also have trouble understanding.
There is a gentle way to do it but- and a big but- no matter how you do it, it will cause some discomfort and tears and emotions at this age.

I did lots of reading books about weaning and slowly cut down both in sessions and duration of nursing sessions until we were down to just bookends for sleep. Naps were easier to wean than bedtime but thats because it had become part of the ritual just like pacis and stuffies/blankies or special music or if mommy always does bedtime and now daddy has to because mom changed her job.

Your hormones are haywire. You wish it could be logical and straightforward but youre dealing with a toddler AND you wonder if you did this to yourself (as do many who are unsupportive of breastfeeding, in general or specifically after 1) but I loved breastfeeding until I didnt. And once one party doesnt want to participate, it becomes a consent and bodily autonomy issue.

I did get a lot of pressure from people outside of the breastfeeding community to stop breastfeeding as well as judgement about cosleeping but thats what worked best for my family. I keep mum about their practices that I dont agree with but just like there are crazy breastfeeding advocates there are crazy anti-breastfeeding advocates who believe breastfeeding is anti-feminist and anyone who breastfeeds is a martyr.

No, not "just like". Only the breastfeeding advocates are supported by the medical establishment. Yes there are pediatricians who would tell people to stop at 1 year because as you know it is hard to wean a toddler. But that's not what drives hospital policies or gets pushed by the AAP.

If you want to be real the hospital policies are driven by cost saving measures it's not anything to do with breastfeeding so don't f****** make it about breastfeeding advocates.
And there are plenty of pediatricians who tell people stop at x because breast milk has no nutritional value after age 1.
And I hate these back and forth arguments about breastfeeding versus not breastfeeding staying at home versus work at home mom daycare versus Nanny and the reason we have so much anxiety about these choices is because women and children are not supported through our policies. While there is a lot of angst around some of these decisions and other places in the world I can promise you that there is not this much back and forth about breastfeeding or about safe sleep or anything else.

So when, after I told my therapist that I was having suicidal thoughts she said medication was not an option because I was breastfeeding, that was a cost saving measure and has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When the AAP puts out ridiculous research briefs that treat observational studies like RCTs, that has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When hospitals implement cost saving measures and justify them based on increasing breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocates say NOTHING, they are not complicit? GTFOOH. They LOVE room sharing. They think women who are willing to be away from their newborns are not real women.

Thats on your therapist. Women can 100% be on psych meds while breastfeedng and while pregnant.

Im sorry you dont know how to advocate for yourself or look for peer reviewed studies or look up any other resources. Thats your shi% therapist not anyone else.

You have some real issues. And have decided to take them out on breastfeeding. You might want to get a new therapist who specializes in transference.

Not to be pedantic but no it isn’t— a therapist cannot prescribe meds. Only a doctor. So if she said “oh drugs might not be an option if you’re nursing” PP would still have needed to seek out an actual licensed physician to discuss those options, and the therapist would have likely said so.

Making pro-breastfeeding the boogeyman of postpartum care in the U.S. is still amazingly misguided given the history and politics connected to the alternatives.

That's not what she said. She said it wasn't an option. And sure, looking back, I should have requested a referral for a psychiatrist, but it's on you if your instinct is to bash people for not doing the exact correct thing when they are feeling suicidal. It was not easy for me to reach out for help at that time and I had no idea how much I needed meds at the time. And yes, the pro breastfeeding at all costs movement encourages BS like this, no matter how much you want to gaslight and bully me.

Disagreeing with you doesn’t mean I’m bullying, gaslighting, or bashing you. You’re going to struggle with online discourse if you believe everyone has to agree with your actions 100% of the time.

Just like the OP, you are going to need to learn the parameters of internet parenting boards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look OP as someone who did extended breastfeeding, weaning is hard. People who havent done it or had their child self-wean earlier also have trouble understanding.
There is a gentle way to do it but- and a big but- no matter how you do it, it will cause some discomfort and tears and emotions at this age.

I did lots of reading books about weaning and slowly cut down both in sessions and duration of nursing sessions until we were down to just bookends for sleep. Naps were easier to wean than bedtime but thats because it had become part of the ritual just like pacis and stuffies/blankies or special music or if mommy always does bedtime and now daddy has to because mom changed her job.

Your hormones are haywire. You wish it could be logical and straightforward but youre dealing with a toddler AND you wonder if you did this to yourself (as do many who are unsupportive of breastfeeding, in general or specifically after 1) but I loved breastfeeding until I didnt. And once one party doesnt want to participate, it becomes a consent and bodily autonomy issue.

I did get a lot of pressure from people outside of the breastfeeding community to stop breastfeeding as well as judgement about cosleeping but thats what worked best for my family. I keep mum about their practices that I dont agree with but just like there are crazy breastfeeding advocates there are crazy anti-breastfeeding advocates who believe breastfeeding is anti-feminist and anyone who breastfeeds is a martyr.

No, not "just like". Only the breastfeeding advocates are supported by the medical establishment. Yes there are pediatricians who would tell people to stop at 1 year because as you know it is hard to wean a toddler. But that's not what drives hospital policies or gets pushed by the AAP.

If you want to be real the hospital policies are driven by cost saving measures it's not anything to do with breastfeeding so don't f****** make it about breastfeeding advocates.
And there are plenty of pediatricians who tell people stop at x because breast milk has no nutritional value after age 1.
And I hate these back and forth arguments about breastfeeding versus not breastfeeding staying at home versus work at home mom daycare versus Nanny and the reason we have so much anxiety about these choices is because women and children are not supported through our policies. While there is a lot of angst around some of these decisions and other places in the world I can promise you that there is not this much back and forth about breastfeeding or about safe sleep or anything else.

So when, after I told my therapist that I was having suicidal thoughts she said medication was not an option because I was breastfeeding, that was a cost saving measure and has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When the AAP puts out ridiculous research briefs that treat observational studies like RCTs, that has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When hospitals implement cost saving measures and justify them based on increasing breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocates say NOTHING, they are not complicit? GTFOOH. They LOVE room sharing. They think women who are willing to be away from their newborns are not real women.

Thats on your therapist. Women can 100% be on psych meds while breastfeedng and while pregnant.

Im sorry you dont know how to advocate for yourself or look for peer reviewed studies or look up any other resources. Thats your shi% therapist not anyone else.

You have some real issues. And have decided to take them out on breastfeeding. You might want to get a new therapist who specializes in transference.

Not to be pedantic but no it isn’t— a therapist cannot prescribe meds. Only a doctor. So if she said “oh drugs might not be an option if you’re nursing” PP would still have needed to seek out an actual licensed physician to discuss those options, and the therapist would have likely said so.

Making pro-breastfeeding the boogeyman of postpartum care in the U.S. is still amazingly misguided given the history and politics connected to the alternatives.

That's not what she said. She said it wasn't an option. And sure, looking back, I should have requested a referral for a psychiatrist, but it's on you if your instinct is to bash people for not doing the exact correct thing when they are feeling suicidal. It was not easy for me to reach out for help at that time and I had no idea how much I needed meds at the time. And yes, the pro breastfeeding at all costs movement encourages BS like this, no matter how much you want to gaslight and bully me.

Disagreeing with you doesn’t mean I’m bullying, gaslighting, or bashing you. You’re going to struggle with online discourse if you believe everyone has to agree with your actions 100% of the time.

Just like the OP, you are going to need to learn the parameters of internet parenting boards.

You are extremely condescending, which is par for the course for breastfeeding advocates. You're not disagreeing with me, you are mis characterizing and dismissing my opinions. Again, par for the course. If you don't want people to call you a bully, learn how to discuss a topic without attacking the person you disagree with. I know it's hard when your whole purpose of being here is to bash and demean people.

[Anonymous]

Btw if your response to someone who says they had suicidal thoughts and their therapist told them not to get meds because they were breastfeeding, and your response is "Making pro-breastfeeding the boogeyman of postpartum care in the U.S. is still amazingly misguided given the history and politics connected to the alternatives," you are a TERRIBLE person. Unfortunately, OP has encountered similar attitudes in her breastfeeding group, because there is a discourse around breastfeeding that is extremely defensive and toxic and has forgotten how to be human or show basic empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Btw if your response to someone who says they had suicidal thoughts and their therapist told them not to get meds because they were breastfeeding, and your response is "Making pro-breastfeeding the boogeyman of postpartum care in the U.S. is still amazingly misguided given the history and politics connected to the alternatives," you are a TERRIBLE person. Unfortunately, OP has encountered similar attitudes in her breastfeeding group, because there is a discourse around breastfeeding that is extremely defensive and toxic and has forgotten how to be human or show basic empathy.

Alas I can live with a strange unhappy woman on the internet calling me a terrible person.

You seem to struggle with the idea that being told you needed to consult an actual doctor about pharmaceuticals isn’t bullying. The fact that you had suicidal ideation doesn’t somehow insulate you from being told you were wrong.

[Anonymous]

Im confused with your thought process;

A) your therapist said no and she was pro breastfeeeding so she let her uninformed personal opinion cloud professional advice which wasnt even in her scope because she isnt licensed to dispense meds

OR

B) pro breastfeeding is so entrenched in American healthcare that your therapist- who isnt a prescribing physician- has been suckered into believing that breastfeeding is more important than her clients mental health? And she didnt suggest stopping breastfeeding because she, like all of American (LOLOLOLOL) is so pro-breastfeeding?

Also, you dont need to see a psych. Your OB or PCP can rx anxiety meds. AND if you are having suicidal ideations then your therapist should have referred you to a prescribing physician anyways.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Look OP as someone who did extended breastfeeding, weaning is hard. People who havent done it or had their child self-wean earlier also have trouble understanding.
There is a gentle way to do it but- and a big but- no matter how you do it, it will cause some discomfort and tears and emotions at this age.

I did lots of reading books about weaning and slowly cut down both in sessions and duration of nursing sessions until we were down to just bookends for sleep. Naps were easier to wean than bedtime but thats because it had become part of the ritual just like pacis and stuffies/blankies or special music or if mommy always does bedtime and now daddy has to because mom changed her job.

Your hormones are haywire. You wish it could be logical and straightforward but youre dealing with a toddler AND you wonder if you did this to yourself (as do many who are unsupportive of breastfeeding, in general or specifically after 1) but I loved breastfeeding until I didnt. And once one party doesnt want to participate, it becomes a consent and bodily autonomy issue.

I did get a lot of pressure from people outside of the breastfeeding community to stop breastfeeding as well as judgement about cosleeping but thats what worked best for my family. I keep mum about their practices that I dont agree with but just like there are crazy breastfeeding advocates there are crazy anti-breastfeeding advocates who believe breastfeeding is anti-feminist and anyone who breastfeeds is a martyr.

No, not "just like". Only the breastfeeding advocates are supported by the medical establishment. Yes there are pediatricians who would tell people to stop at 1 year because as you know it is hard to wean a toddler. But that's not what drives hospital policies or gets pushed by the AAP.

If you want to be real the hospital policies are driven by cost saving measures it's not anything to do with breastfeeding so don't f****** make it about breastfeeding advocates.
And there are plenty of pediatricians who tell people stop at x because breast milk has no nutritional value after age 1.
And I hate these back and forth arguments about breastfeeding versus not breastfeeding staying at home versus work at home mom daycare versus Nanny and the reason we have so much anxiety about these choices is because women and children are not supported through our policies. While there is a lot of angst around some of these decisions and other places in the world I can promise you that there is not this much back and forth about breastfeeding or about safe sleep or anything else.

So when, after I told my therapist that I was having suicidal thoughts she said medication was not an option because I was breastfeeding, that was a cost saving measure and has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When the AAP puts out ridiculous research briefs that treat observational studies like RCTs, that has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When hospitals implement cost saving measures and justify them based on increasing breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocates say NOTHING, they are not complicit? GTFOOH. They LOVE room sharing. They think women who are willing to be away from their newborns are not real women.

Thats on your therapist. Women can 100% be on psych meds while breastfeedng and while pregnant.

Im sorry you dont know how to advocate for yourself or look for peer reviewed studies or look up any other resources. Thats your shi% therapist not anyone else.

You have some real issues. And have decided to take them out on breastfeeding. You might want to get a new therapist who specializes in transference.

See, this type of discourse - that it's on individual women (including those going through difficult mental health issues) to dismiss medical advice - is so typical of the gaslighting from breastfeeding advocates. I breastfed for 14 months. I am not against breastfeeding. I am against people like you who attack women for being critical of breastfeeding advocates, many of whom do and say horrible things to promote their agenda. Sorry you don't like it. You won't bully me into shutting up.

Yes! Thank you. I’ma different poster but I agree. It’s not reasonable to expect a tired breastfeeding mom who feels the weight of prioritizing her child’s lifelong health to know how and when to disregard explicit medical advice. That’s ridiculous.

ITS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE!!!! jfc MEDICAL ADVICE MUST COME FROM A DOCTOR.