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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Reply to "The guilt around weening toddler "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Look OP as someone who did extended breastfeeding, weaning is hard. People who havent done it or had their child self-wean earlier also have trouble understanding. There is a gentle way to do it but- and a big but- no matter how you do it, it will cause some discomfort and tears and emotions at this age. I did lots of reading books about weaning and slowly cut down both in sessions and duration of nursing sessions until we were down to just bookends for sleep. Naps were easier to wean than bedtime but thats because it had become part of the ritual just like pacis and stuffies/blankies or special music or if mommy always does bedtime and now daddy has to because mom changed her job. Your hormones are haywire. You wish it could be logical and straightforward but youre dealing with a toddler AND you wonder if you did this to yourself (as do many who are unsupportive of breastfeeding, in general or specifically after 1) but I loved breastfeeding until I didnt. And once one party doesnt want to participate, it becomes a consent and bodily autonomy issue. I did get a lot of pressure from people outside of the breastfeeding community to stop breastfeeding as well as judgement about cosleeping but thats what worked best for my family. I keep mum about their practices that I dont agree with but [b]just like there are crazy breastfeeding advocates there are crazy anti-breastfeeding advocates who believe breastfeeding is anti-feminist and anyone who breastfeeds is a martyr. [/b] [/quote] No, not "just like". Only the breastfeeding advocates are supported by the medical establishment. Yes there are pediatricians who would tell people to stop at 1 year because as you know it is hard to wean a toddler. But that's not what drives hospital policies or gets pushed by the AAP.[/quote] If you want to be real the hospital policies are driven by cost saving measures it's not anything to do with breastfeeding so don't f****** make it about breastfeeding advocates. And there are plenty of pediatricians who tell people stop at x because breast milk has no nutritional value after age 1. And I hate these back and forth arguments about breastfeeding versus not breastfeeding staying at home versus work at home mom daycare versus Nanny and the reason we have so much anxiety about these choices is because women and children are not supported through our policies. While there is a lot of angst around some of these decisions and other places in the world I can promise you that there is not this much back and forth about breastfeeding or about safe sleep or anything else. [/quote] So when, after I told my therapist that I was having suicidal thoughts she said medication was not an option because I was breastfeeding, that was a cost saving measure and has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When the AAP puts out ridiculous research briefs that treat observational studies like RCTs, that has nothing to do with breastfeeding advocates? When hospitals implement cost saving measures and justify them based on increasing breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocates say NOTHING, they are not complicit? GTFOOH. They LOVE room sharing. They think women who are willing to be away from their newborns are not real women.[/quote] [b]Thats on your therapist. Women can 100% be on psych meds while breastfeedng and while pregnant. [/b] Im sorry you dont know how to advocate for yourself or look for peer reviewed studies or look up any other resources. Thats your shi% therapist not anyone else. You have some real issues. And have decided to take them out on breastfeeding. You might want to get a new therapist who specializes in transference. [/quote] Not to be pedantic but no it isn’t— a therapist cannot prescribe meds. Only a doctor. So if she said “oh drugs might not be an option if you’re nursing” PP would still have needed to seek out an actual licensed physician to discuss those options, and the therapist would have likely said so. Making pro-breastfeeding the boogeyman of postpartum care in the U.S. is still amazingly misguided given the history and politics connected to the alternatives.[/quote] That's not what she said. She said it wasn't an option. And sure, looking back, I should have requested a referral for a psychiatrist, but it's on you if your instinct is to bash people for not doing the exact correct thing when they are feeling suicidal. It was not easy for me to reach out for help at that time and I had no idea how much I needed meds at the time. And yes, the pro breastfeeding at all costs movement encourages BS like this, no matter how much you want to gaslight and bully me.[/quote]
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