The guilt around weening toddler

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Then stop interacting with this community? OP please realize you are interacting with a self-selecting group of women. It's not that hard to find moms who truly don't care if/how/when you start/stop breastfeeding.

+1. I don’t care. Most moms I know asked me why I was still breastfeeding after 6 months.

I breastfed six children well past the age of 6 months and no one ever asked me that. I'm pretty certain that no one actually gave one thought to it.

OP, stop talking to other people about your plans to wean. It's none of their business. Do what you need to do for you and your dc.

Translation: I can't handle people criticizing toxic breastfeeding communities so I'm going make it about OP and what she is supposedly doing wrong.

In other words, the age old strategy of blaming the survivor.

Where are these communities? I never joined one… I’m just me out here breastfeeding my three kids until I’m ready to stop. I don’t care what other people do and no one cares what I do. Just quit the community. It’s not working for you. There is no conspiracy.

This is excellent advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m kind of horrified for the kind of parents who need this much external validation to make feeding choices.

1. We live in an area with a ton of doctors and pediatricians. Literally they’re coming out of the walls. Concierge practices are everywhere. Choose medical professionals whose values and goals align with yours.

2. Curate your network. You do not need to be in a birth month group, a labor practice group, a newborn group, a breastfeeding group (?). Find a village you contribute to that you’re not using solely for attention and support. No one owes you attention or support.

3. No is a full sentence. You don’t like your pediatrician? Fire them. You don’t like the group chat not telling you you’re a strong warrior mom? Leave the group chat.


Because your kid deserves better than to have a parent who needs a support group for every aspect of parenting.

You sound fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Then stop interacting with this community? OP please realize you are interacting with a self-selecting group of women. It's not that hard to find moms who truly don't care if/how/when you start/stop breastfeeding.

+1. I don’t care. Most moms I know asked me why I was still breastfeeding after 6 months.

I breastfed six children well past the age of 6 months and no one ever asked me that. I'm pretty certain that no one actually gave one thought to it.

OP, stop talking to other people about your plans to wean. It's none of their business. Do what you need to do for you and your dc.

Translation: I can't handle people criticizing toxic breastfeeding communities so I'm going make it about OP and what she is supposedly doing wrong.

In other words, the age old strategy of blaming the survivor.

Hi! You clearly didn't comprehend what you read. I told her to not talk to the 'toxic breastfeeding community' and do what she needs to do for herself and her dc.

I'm giving good advice gleaned from decades of motherhood-it's how I avoided any toxic feeding people.

You clearly didn't comprehend OP's post which is warning people about how toxic these communities are. She doesn't need your advice, which is also terrible advice. There is nothing wrong with discussing parenting challenges with other parents. There is something wrong with only being supportive of people who are breastfeeding.

Whoosh...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Then stop interacting with this community? OP please realize you are interacting with a self-selecting group of women. It's not that hard to find moms who truly don't care if/how/when you start/stop breastfeeding.

+1. I don’t care. Most moms I know asked me why I was still breastfeeding after 6 months.

I breastfed six children well past the age of 6 months and no one ever asked me that. I'm pretty certain that no one actually gave one thought to it.

OP, stop talking to other people about your plans to wean. It's none of their business. Do what you need to do for you and your dc.

Translation: I can't handle people criticizing toxic breastfeeding communities so I'm going make it about OP and what she is supposedly doing wrong.

In other words, the age old strategy of blaming the survivor.

Hi! You clearly didn't comprehend what you read. I told her to not talk to the 'toxic breastfeeding community' and do what she needs to do for herself and her dc.

I'm giving good advice gleaned from decades of motherhood-it's how I avoided any toxic feeding people.

You clearly didn't comprehend OP's post which is warning people about how toxic these communities are. She doesn't need your advice, which is also terrible advice. There is nothing wrong with discussing parenting challenges with other parents. There is something wrong with only being supportive of people who are breastfeeding.

Whoosh...

Whoosh right back at you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Then stop interacting with this community? OP please realize you are interacting with a self-selecting group of women. It's not that hard to find moms who truly don't care if/how/when you start/stop breastfeeding.

+1. I don’t care. Most moms I know asked me why I was still breastfeeding after 6 months.

I breastfed six children well past the age of 6 months and no one ever asked me that. I'm pretty certain that no one actually gave one thought to it.

OP, stop talking to other people about your plans to wean. It's none of their business. Do what you need to do for you and your dc.

Translation: I can't handle people criticizing toxic breastfeeding communities so I'm going make it about OP and what she is supposedly doing wrong.

In other words, the age old strategy of blaming the survivor.

Hi! You clearly didn't comprehend what you read. I told her to not talk to the 'toxic breastfeeding community' and do what she needs to do for herself and her dc.

I'm giving good advice gleaned from decades of motherhood-it's how I avoided any toxic feeding people.

You clearly didn't comprehend OP's post which is warning people about how toxic these communities are. She doesn't need your advice, which is also terrible advice. There is nothing wrong with discussing parenting challenges with other parents. There is something wrong with only being supportive of people who are breastfeeding.

Ultimately, you don't get to decide if someone is supporting breastfeeding only, or not. You only are in control of your own level of interaction with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Then stop interacting with this community? OP please realize you are interacting with a self-selecting group of women. It's not that hard to find moms who truly don't care if/how/when you start/stop breastfeeding.

+1. I don’t care. Most moms I know asked me why I was still breastfeeding after 6 months.

I breastfed six children well past the age of 6 months and no one ever asked me that. I'm pretty certain that no one actually gave one thought to it.

OP, stop talking to other people about your plans to wean. It's none of their business. Do what you need to do for you and your dc.

Translation: I can't handle people criticizing toxic breastfeeding communities so I'm going make it about OP and what she is supposedly doing wrong.

In other words, the age old strategy of blaming the survivor.

Hi! You clearly didn't comprehend what you read. I told her to not talk to the 'toxic breastfeeding community' and do what she needs to do for herself and her dc.

I'm giving good advice gleaned from decades of motherhood-it's how I avoided any toxic feeding people.

You clearly didn't comprehend OP's post which is warning people about how toxic these communities are. She doesn't need your advice, which is also terrible advice. There is nothing wrong with discussing parenting challenges with other parents. There is something wrong with only being supportive of people who are breastfeeding.

Ultimately, you don't get to decide if someone is supporting breastfeeding only, or not. You only are in control of your own level of interaction with them.

Okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Then stop interacting with this community? OP please realize you are interacting with a self-selecting group of women. It's not that hard to find moms who truly don't care if/how/when you start/stop breastfeeding.

+1. I don’t care. Most moms I know asked me why I was still breastfeeding after 6 months.

I breastfed six children well past the age of 6 months and no one ever asked me that. I'm pretty certain that no one actually gave one thought to it.

OP, stop talking to other people about your plans to wean. It's none of their business. Do what you need to do for you and your dc.

Translation: I can't handle people criticizing toxic breastfeeding communities so I'm going make it about OP and what she is supposedly doing wrong.

In other words, the age old strategy of blaming the survivor.

Hi! You clearly didn't comprehend what you read. I told her to not talk to the 'toxic breastfeeding community' and do what she needs to do for herself and her dc.

I'm giving good advice gleaned from decades of motherhood-it's how I avoided any toxic feeding people.

You clearly didn't comprehend OP's post which is warning people about how toxic these communities are. She doesn't need your advice, which is also terrible advice. There is nothing wrong with discussing parenting challenges with other parents. There is something wrong with only being supportive of people who are breastfeeding.

Ultimately, you don't get to decide if someone is supporting breastfeeding only, or not. You only are in control of your own level of interaction with them.

Okay?

Yes, it's okay

[Anonymous]

As you can see OP, the MO of the breastfeeding advocates is if something regarding breastfeeding isn't working for you, it's your fault for doing it wrong. Doctors, therapists, and hospitals are not accountable for ensuring they give you accurate information. If you are misled or get sucked into a toxic community, it's not okay to warn other people about it. You should never have allowed yourself to be misled in the first place! Don't you see? This is really all your problem /s

[Anonymous]

And, op, you should stay in the community you find toxic and take no steps to disengage from it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Have you considered disengaging from the people who are pushing guilt at you? You might want to consider that. And as you continue in your parenting journey, you're going to run into that from time to time and your best course of action is to ignore and disengage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Have you considered disengaging from the people who are pushing guilt at you? You might want to consider that. And as you continue in your parenting journey, you're going to run into that from time to time and your best course of action is to ignore and disengage.

Based on her posts, it does sound like OP is disengaged from that toxic community and is warning others about it.

As I have continued my parenting journey, I have found there are few communities as toxic as those that promote breastfeeding at the expense of supporting women's choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Have you considered disengaging from the people who are pushing guilt at you? You might want to consider that. And as you continue in your parenting journey, you're going to run into that from time to time and your best course of action is to ignore and disengage.

Based on her posts, it does sound like OP is disengaged from that toxic community and is warning others about it.

As I have continued my parenting journey, I have found there are few communities as toxic as those that promote breastfeeding at the expense of supporting women's choices.

Wait till you get involved with the red shirting and cell phones for kids communities! Breastfeeding's got nothing on that! LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Have you considered disengaging from the people who are pushing guilt at you? You might want to consider that. And as you continue in your parenting journey, you're going to run into that from time to time and your best course of action is to ignore and disengage.

Based on her posts, it does sound like OP is disengaged from that toxic community and is warning others about it.

As I have continued my parenting journey, I have found there are few communities as toxic as those that promote breastfeeding at the expense of supporting women's choices.

Wait till you get involved with the red shirting and cell phones for kids communities! Breastfeeding's got nothing on that! LOL

Eh I have a rising kindergartener, and in no universe would I say the "redshirting community" has anything on the breastfeeding community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Have you considered disengaging from the people who are pushing guilt at you? You might want to consider that. And as you continue in your parenting journey, you're going to run into that from time to time and your best course of action is to ignore and disengage.

Based on her posts, it does sound like OP is disengaged from that toxic community and is warning others about it.

As I have continued my parenting journey, I have found there are few communities as toxic as those that promote breastfeeding at the expense of supporting women's choices.

Wait till you get involved with the red shirting and cell phones for kids communities! Breastfeeding's got nothing on that! LOL

Eh I have a rising kindergartener, and in no universe would I say the "redshirting community" has anything on the breastfeeding community.

It probably depends on one's level of engagement with any of the communities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Have you considered disengaging from the people who are pushing guilt at you? You might want to consider that. And as you continue in your parenting journey, you're going to run into that from time to time and your best course of action is to ignore and disengage.

Based on her posts, it does sound like OP is disengaged from that toxic community and is warning others about it.

As I have continued my parenting journey, I have found there are few communities as toxic as those that promote breastfeeding at the expense of supporting women's choices.

Wait till you get involved with the red shirting and cell phones for kids communities! Breastfeeding's got nothing on that! LOL

Eh I have a rising kindergartener, and in no universe would I say the "redshirting community" has anything on the breastfeeding community.

It probably depends on one's level of engagement with any of the communities.

And the extent to which institutions such as hospitals, doctors and schools promote that community.