What has a lack of sex done to you?

[Anonymous]

Se has a global effect for me. I have much less anxiety, and a feeling that life is worth living when I’m in a sexual relationship.

[Anonymous]

Try giving your spouse love and affection (hugs, kiss, warm touch on the arm/back), say nice things to them etc. during the day. This will help.
To be cold and distant from spouse during day and expect sex at night is unreasonable. People (especially women) need to feel loved and cared for, not just used

[Anonymous]

My husband has had a terrible back problem since late February and we’ve never gone this long without sex. I’m definitely feeling like so many others. I told him how much I miss it and he said “maybe you should call a friend.” I laughed and I never would but a girl can dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For some reason, Married people have less sex after marriage than before marriage.

I think it's a bunch of things. Familiarity is less sexy than novelty; this is the person you hear pooping and farting in the bathroom; every marriage has its resentments; you get busy with other things; aging does a number on us all; etc.

That said I wish my spouse were interested in s** still. They have recently started therapy in part for this issue.

It's been a very very long time for us. My spouse just lost interest a number of years ago - was never high drive, except in the very first year of our relationship, but for the last (xxx) years it's been absolutely nothing. They are still very affectionate, loving, complimentary, all that.

What's it done to me? I am frustrated - very frustrated - and sad a few times a month, feeling like this person I married is holding my s** life hostage, basically. Like I might never get that feeling of *being* with someone ever again. But also I love this person and am not looking to blow up our lives together. I guess the main thing it's done to me is that now I kind of can't believe other people can just go and have s** when they want to - it's actually something they can do, like skydiving or whatever! It seems so out of reach, so to speak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For some reason, Married people have less sex after marriage than before marriage.

I think it's a bunch of things. Familiarity is less sexy than novelty; this is the person you hear pooping and farting in the bathroom; every marriage has its resentments; you get busy with other things; aging does a number on us all; etc.

That said I wish my spouse were interested in s** still. They have recently started therapy in part for this issue.

It's been a very very long time for us. My spouse just lost interest a number of years ago - was never high drive, except in the very first year of our relationship, but for the last (xxx) years it's been absolutely nothing. They are still very affectionate, loving, complimentary, all that.

What's it done to me? I am frustrated - very frustrated - and sad a few times a month, feeling like this person I married is holding my s** life hostage, basically. Like I might never get that feeling of *being* with someone ever again. But also I love this person and am not looking to blow up our lives together. I guess the main thing it's done to me is that now I kind of can't believe other people can just go and have s** when they want to - it's actually something they can do, like skydiving or whatever! It seems so out of reach, so to speak.

^ Oh and like another pp said - health issues can really get in the way. My spouse has some very serious health issues that contribute to this for us. It's not the whole of it but it's part of it.

[Anonymous]

Disconnection from myself, my life energy, my creativity, my light.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disconnection from myself, my life energy, my creativity, my light.

You really hold orgasms in high regard eh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For some reason, Married people have less sex after marriage than before marriage.

What's it done to me? I am frustrated - very frustrated - and sad a few times a month, feeling like this person I married is holding my s** life hostage, basically. Like I might never get that feeling of *being* with someone ever again. But also I love this person and am not looking to blow up our lives together. I guess the main thing it's done to me is that now I kind of can't believe other people can just go and have s** when they want to - it's actually something they can do, like skydiving or whatever! It seems so out of reach, so to speak.

I get you and am in a similar situation. It makes me feel so undesirable that I feel like if we ever separated nobody else would want me and sex would still be out of reach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Disconnection from myself, my life energy, my creativity, my light.

You really hold orgasms in high regard eh?

You don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Having the human connection that comes from sex is so important and fundamental.

Not having it is not good for a person. I truly believe people who are healthy all through their lives are having plenty of sex. It’s good for you.

My spouse has a very low drive. So what’s it done to me? I fantasize about when my kids go to college and I can leave and have a new life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having the human connection that comes from sex is so important and fundamental.

Not having it is not good for a person. I truly believe people who are healthy all through their lives are having plenty of sex. It’s good for you.

My spouse has a very low drive. So what’s it done to me? I fantasize about when my kids go to college and I can leave and have a new life.

For YOU maybe. What you just said: If you're not having sex throughout your entire life, up until the terminal weeks right before you die, then you do not have a fundamental connection to a human.

Does anyone else reading this disagree? Because I'm quite certain I have a handful of "fundamental" "connections" to other humans -- my mother, my son -- without banging them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Not having it is not good for a person. I truly believe people who are healthy all through their lives are having plenty of sex. It’s good for you.

Why don’t you speak for yourself and stop condemning a significant portion of the human population that doesn’t require regular sex to be healthy both mentally and physically?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Not having it is not good for a person. I truly believe people who are healthy all through their lives are having plenty of sex. It’s good for you.

Why don’t you speak for yourself and stop condemning a significant portion of the human population that doesn’t require regular sex to be healthy both mentally and physically?

DP, but the PP has a point that there are people who do require regular sex to be mentally/emotionally/physically healthy. For them, sex is a need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Disconnection from myself, my life energy, my creativity, my light.

You really hold orgasms in high regard eh?

I truly do. Whether solo or with a lover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having the human connection that comes from sex is so important and fundamental.

Not having it is not good for a person. I truly believe people who are healthy all through their lives are having plenty of sex. It’s good for you.

My spouse has a very low drive. So what’s it done to me? I fantasize about when my kids go to college and I can leave and have a new life.

For YOU maybe. What you just said: If you're not having sex throughout your entire life, up until the terminal weeks right before you die, then you do not have a fundamental connection to a human.

Does anyone else reading this disagree? Because I'm quite certain I have a handful of "fundamental" "connections" to other humans -- my mother, my son -- without banging them.