What’s the correct etiquette here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Faux pas, OP. Asking puts host on the spot, and it can be hard to accommodate an extra at a seated dinner.

The best you can do is tell your friend that you have a serious bf now, and you can't wait for everyone to meet him. Say you're not sure of the seating, but any chance you could bring him to meet everyone. Totally understand if there isn't enough seating.

This might give her enough room to decline gracefully if it's not going to work for her.

Thanks I think giving them this opening will be helpful. I need a polite way to ask without being rude that in turn gives them an avenue to decline without feeling rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[i]Generally invites come with RSVP counts. [b]
If yours did not, then I’d ask the hostess if this event allows for +1.

If she says no, then no it is. Don’t try to persuade her to allow +1. She might feel pressured to say yes.

If she says yes, then sure, bring em and make sure you give him a lay of the land of who is who.

It sounds like a text invite to meet for dinner, not a wedding.

OP. Right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm fascinated by this friendship where you don't talk at all except at these get togethers.

Not uncommon as you get older. People stay in touch through milestone events and holidays, not casual calls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well you should have asked even when it was just casual. It seems weird they know you have a serious boyfriend and didn't extend the invite to him too from the start

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[i]Generally invites come with RSVP counts. [b]
If yours did not, then I’d ask the hostess if this event allows for +1.

If she says no, then no it is. Don’t try to persuade her to allow +1. She might feel pressured to say yes.

If she says yes, then sure, bring em and make sure you give him a lay of the land of who is who.

It sounds like a text invite to meet for dinner, not a wedding.

OP. Right.

Then go back to 21.04. This is about the friendship. People are responding like this is a formal invite ("the hostess") vs a hangout with friends and getting hung-up on the venue/cost. It's not a formal thing. In my own friendships, I'd be like "hey! It's been awhile since we touched base, but I've been with X for Y number of months/years and would love for you to meet him! Maybe we could do coffee or lunch that day?" If they have any grace at all they'll obviously say bring him to dinner. He can win extra points by being one of the first to pull out his credit card at the end. Done.