PSA: Men Are Capable Adults

[Anonymous]

What even inspires someone to make a post like this?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I'm much happier being a partner, rather than a mother, to DH.

Op here. Thanks for understanding. I feel like so many people need to view men as equals from the beginning. You want an equal, be an equal, treat him as an equal.

If you trash talk your husband's competence don't be surprised when he lives up to your expectations.

Nobody starts out trash talking their DH’s competence. They earn it by not acting remotely like equals.

Do you make sure they get equal time with the newborn?

lol. why would it be my job to “make sure he gets equal time” with his own child!!! but no, despite all opportunities, he consistently declined to take equal time at all stages of child rearing.

My point is, he doesn't have a choice. Letting him decline isn't treating him as an equal.

Again, you seem to be talking about husbands as a child that the wife needs to rear correctly or face the consequences. You keep talking about the work the wife needs to do for her husband to act like a capable adult. The entire point is that the wife shouldn't have to do any work at all.

Turn it around. What work do you think my husband did so that I would act like a capable caregiver and adult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What even inspires someone to make a post like this?!

Emasculated men fighting back.

Like what women have done with onlyfans and fighting for power, except moral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What even inspires someone to make a post like this?!

Emasculated men fighting back.

Like what women have done with onlyfans and fighting for power, except moral.

Okay, crazy person. Back to Reddit with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I'm much happier being a partner, rather than a mother, to DH.

Op here. Thanks for understanding. I feel like so many people need to view men as equals from the beginning. You want an equal, be an equal, treat him as an equal.

If you trash talk your husband's competence don't be surprised when he lives up to your expectations.

Nobody starts out trash talking their DH’s competence. They earn it by not acting remotely like equals.

Do you make sure they get equal time with the newborn?

lol. why would it be my job to “make sure he gets equal time” with his own child!!! but no, despite all opportunities, he consistently declined to take equal time at all stages of child rearing.

My point is, he doesn't have a choice. Letting him decline isn't treating him as an equal.

Again, you seem to be talking about husbands as a child that the wife needs to rear correctly or face the consequences. You keep talking about the work the wife needs to do for her husband to act like a capable adult. The entire point is that the wife shouldn't have to do any work at all.

Turn it around. What work do you think my husband did so that I would act like a capable caregiver and adult?

Assumed you are a capable person and would do it. And you did.

Now turn it around and give him that expectation.

And make sure its really 50/50. Not that you offer him a diaper change once a day. He can handle any mood the baby might be in. You are matter of factly going to take a much needed walk or whatever.

For those saying their husband won't do it, he'd really let his own baby die rather than care for it? If that's the case you have bigger issues than I can help you with. I'm talking about normal people here.

Also as a Long-term strategy you can't decide that the baby is all the mothers problem, and then when it's older it becomes his. He needs time to adjust just like women do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What even inspires someone to make a post like this?!

Emasculated men fighting back.

Like what women have done with onlyfans and fighting for power, except moral.

Op here. I'm definitely not an emasculated man. Trying to be helpful since this attitude seems to come up a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So...these "capable adults" need to be parented like children by their wives?

Thanks for the advice.

Men also need to kill the occasional spider, as women are terrified by spiders, even though they outweigh spiders by a ratio of about 50,000 : 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is very capable. Last fall I took a week long business trip and he was in charge of our three young kids. They were in school and day care and he works away from home. He got them where they needed to be and he didn’t forget to pick them up. I’d call home and he’d say everything was fine which I didn’t believe. When I got home late on Friday the house was clean, the laundry all done and the children were sound asleep. I was convinced he had hired people to do everything but he hadn’t. When I asked him how did he do it he said he had planned every day out, on paper, and then he executed his plan. He showed it to me and from 6am until 9pm (except when he was at work) he had everything laid out. He said if he hadn’t had a plan he would have gone nuts forgetting something. He’s always pulled his weight, more or less, but this was over the top.

When my wife travels, she comes back to a clean (or at least straightened up) house. When I travel, I return to a disaster zone. She isn’t a slob, but just terrible at time management.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I'm much happier being a partner, rather than a mother, to DH.

Op here. Thanks for understanding. I feel like so many people need to view men as equals from the beginning. You want an equal, be an equal, treat him as an equal.

If you trash talk your husband's competence don't be surprised when he lives up to your expectations.

Nobody starts out trash talking their DH’s competence. They earn it by not acting remotely like equals.

Do you make sure they get equal time with the newborn?

lol. why would it be my job to “make sure he gets equal time” with his own child!!! but no, despite all opportunities, he consistently declined to take equal time at all stages of child rearing.

My point is, he doesn't have a choice. Letting him decline isn't treating him as an equal.

Again, you seem to be talking about husbands as a child that the wife needs to rear correctly or face the consequences. You keep talking about the work the wife needs to do for her husband to act like a capable adult. The entire point is that the wife shouldn't have to do any work at all.

Turn it around. What work do you think my husband did so that I would act like a capable caregiver and adult?

Assumed you are a capable person and would do it. And you did.

Now turn it around and give him that expectation.

And make sure its really 50/50. Not that you offer him a diaper change once a day. He can handle any mood the baby might be in. You are matter of factly going to take a much needed walk or whatever.

For those saying their husband won't do it, he'd really let his own baby die rather than care for it? If that's the case you have bigger issues than I can help you with. I'm talking about normal people here.

Also as a Long-term strategy you can't decide that the baby is all the mothers problem, and then when it's older it becomes his. He needs time to adjust just like women do.

You still don't get it, OP. You are placing all the burden of thinking and training on the woman. Your post is to women. Blaming them for their husbands not stepping up.

Men aren't sitting around assuming women are competent. They are sitting around not thinking about what needs to be done at all. And your brilliant advice is for women to act the same way.

I grew up with two parents who ignored me. It's no way to live. You're gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I'm much happier being a partner, rather than a mother, to DH.

Op here. Thanks for understanding. I feel like so many people need to view men as equals from the beginning. You want an equal, be an equal, treat him as an equal.

If you trash talk your husband's competence don't be surprised when he lives up to your expectations.

Nobody starts out trash talking their DH’s competence. They earn it by not acting remotely like equals.

Do you make sure they get equal time with the newborn?

lol. why would it be my job to “make sure he gets equal time” with his own child!!! but no, despite all opportunities, he consistently declined to take equal time at all stages of child rearing.

My point is, he doesn't have a choice. Letting him decline isn't treating him as an equal.

Again, you seem to be talking about husbands as a child that the wife needs to rear correctly or face the consequences. You keep talking about the work the wife needs to do for her husband to act like a capable adult. The entire point is that the wife shouldn't have to do any work at all.

Turn it around. What work do you think my husband did so that I would act like a capable caregiver and adult?

Assumed you are a capable person and would do it. And you did.

Now turn it around and give him that expectation.

And make sure its really 50/50. Not that you offer him a diaper change once a day. He can handle any mood the baby might be in. You are matter of factly going to take a much needed walk or whatever.

For those saying their husband won't do it, he'd really let his own baby die rather than care for it? If that's the case you have bigger issues than I can help you with. I'm talking about normal people here.

Also as a Long-term strategy you can't decide that the baby is all the mothers problem, and then when it's older it becomes his. He needs time to adjust just like women do.

WHY is it the woman’s job to “offer him a diaper change”? You are utterly clueless.

[Anonymous]

lol… sure they are capable when on their own but in a relationship, it’s like they turn off the show up switch.

My DX was useless around the house, always needed to lock himself somewhere for an endless stream of ‘breaks’, and ‘dinner on him’ meant frozen pizza or other frozen or pre made food.

When I divorced his lazy ass somehow he started cooking from scratch and learning how to fix things around his own place.

When in relationship, these types unconsciously see their partners as the devil mommy that restrict their autonomy, turn into rocks, and resist any and every ask. They can only feel empowered when alone.

It’s been over a decade and my XH still is alone and miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: Of course they are, because otherwise you UMC lifestyle with reduced (or zero) work hours would not exist. So be grateful he brought you along for the ride.

lol it’s the reverse for far too many of us

Well, if the best you can do is a low-T guy who earns way less than you...that's on you I guess.

Any way to make it her fault, huh?