PSA: Men Are Capable Adults

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is foolish advice.

Here’s some better advice:

If you have to strategize how to get him to fulfill basic responsibilities and be your equal around the house, then dump him. Do it quickly. He won’t get better and no matter how clever your tactics are, he will find ways to thwart them because his laziness works for him.

Op.

Don't strategize. Just make sure he does it from the beginning of the relationship. Even if he's really busy and stressed out and you're much better at clearing the table, have him take a stab at it. Don't fix it until the next day.


My overall point is that if you let go either

1. He'll figure it out

or

2. You'll feel more appreciated in the long run when he has a better idea of what you're handling.

(Or 3, he would be institutionalized without you, but most high earners don't fit that description)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: Of course they are, because otherwise you UMC lifestyle with reduced (or zero) work hours would not exist. So be grateful he brought you along for the ride.

lol it’s the reverse for far too many of us

Lol Yes was about to comment that I know so many who make equal or more than their husbands and also do most of all the other home work.

Why didn't you marry a higher earner?

NP. I’m sure they shook the High Earner Tree really hard, but it was probably out of men that day.

Somebody married the high earners! I wonder what they had to offer.

I married a high earner and he’s a mean spirited POS whom I can’t wait to divorce.

What's stopping you? I'm sure he'll be gutted.

This Board is FULL of misogynistic as--oles the last few weeks. Like this prick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: Of course they are, because otherwise you UMC lifestyle with reduced (or zero) work hours would not exist. So be grateful he brought you along for the ride.

lol it’s the reverse for far too many of us

Lol Yes was about to comment that I know so many who make equal or more than their husbands and also do most of all the other home work.

Why didn't you marry a higher earner?

NP. I’m sure they shook the High Earner Tree really hard, but it was probably out of men that day.

Somebody married the high earners! I wonder what they had to offer.

I married a high earner and he’s a mean spirited POS whom I can’t wait to divorce.

What's stopping you? I'm sure he'll be gutted.

This Board is FULL of misogynistic as--oles the last few weeks. Like this prick.

Not sure what's so misogynistic about it. No one challenged that OP's husband was a mean spirit POS, I mean, that's not very nice to say. Kinda misandrist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: Of course they are, because otherwise you UMC lifestyle with reduced (or zero) work hours would not exist. So be grateful he brought you along for the ride.

lol it’s the reverse for far too many of us

Lol Yes was about to comment that I know so many who make equal or more than their husbands and also do most of all the other home work.

Why didn't you marry a higher earner?

NP. I’m sure they shook the High Earner Tree really hard, but it was probably out of men that day.

Somebody married the high earners! I wonder what they had to offer.

I married a high earner and he’s a mean spirited POS whom I can’t wait to divorce.

What's stopping you? I'm sure he'll be gutted.

He’s stopping me because he’s indeed gutted. I’m trying to iron out a divorce settlement with the prick and he’s trying every trick to stall while he spams me messages begging me to stay. I’m so sick of him that I’d rather get nothing except my divorce and leave him with all the money than stay.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand these posts. Did you people get married at age 20? Did these men live with their mother? If they were living on their own, cooking and living in an apartment, they had appropriate life skills. What happened once you married them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: Of course they are, because otherwise you UMC lifestyle with reduced (or zero) work hours would not exist. So be grateful he brought you along for the ride.

lol it’s the reverse for far too many of us

Lol Yes was about to comment that I know so many who make equal or more than their husbands and also do most of all the other home work.

Why didn't you marry a higher earner?

NP. I’m sure they shook the High Earner Tree really hard, but it was probably out of men that day.

Somebody married the high earners! I wonder what they had to offer.

I married a high earner and he’s a mean spirited POS whom I can’t wait to divorce.

What's stopping you? I'm sure he'll be gutted.

This Board is FULL of misogynistic as--oles the last few weeks. Like this prick.

Not sure what's so misogynistic about it. No one challenged that OP's husband was a mean spirit POS, I mean, that's not very nice to say. Kinda misandrist.

I don't think you know what "misandrist" means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand these posts. Did you people get married at age 20? Did these men live with their mother? If they were living on their own, cooking and living in an apartment, they had appropriate life skills. What happened once you married them?

These men wanted traditional, nurturing women. They (wrongly) thought their own personal Gloria Steinems would come around, which they half-way did, but only bitterly. Then the men looked around and realized there are actually lots of traditional, nurturing women for the asking if the man is willing to do the earning. The men are realizing it was a bad bargain and are trying to work with what they got--turn a sow's ear into a silk purse so to speak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: Of course they are, because otherwise you UMC lifestyle with reduced (or zero) work hours would not exist. So be grateful he brought you along for the ride.

lol it’s the reverse for far too many of us

Lol Yes was about to comment that I know so many who make equal or more than their husbands and also do most of all the other home work.

Why didn't you marry a higher earner?

NP. I’m sure they shook the High Earner Tree really hard, but it was probably out of men that day.

Somebody married the high earners! I wonder what they had to offer.

I married a high earner and he’s a mean spirited POS whom I can’t wait to divorce.

What's stopping you? I'm sure he'll be gutted.

This Board is FULL of misogynistic as--oles the last few weeks. Like this prick.

Not sure what's so misogynistic about it. No one challenged that OP's husband was a mean spirit POS, I mean, that's not very nice to say. Kinda misandrist.

Op

That wasn't me!

[Anonymous]

WTF is going on. The rudeness started early in this thread. In the spirit of this thread, all of you can be polite in on anonymous, online forum!

[Anonymous]

If you marry someone who can't function as an adult that's on you. Regardless of how much $ they make. You're the idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF is going on. The rudeness started early in this thread. In the spirit of this thread, all of you can be polite in on anonymous, online forum!

Come on, this was never a real thread. I'm surprised it's been this tame so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: Of course they are, because otherwise you UMC lifestyle with reduced (or zero) work hours would not exist. So be grateful he brought you along for the ride.

lol it’s the reverse for far too many of us

Lol Yes was about to comment that I know so many who make equal or more than their husbands and also do most of all the other home work.

Why didn't you marry a higher earner?

NP. I’m sure they shook the High Earner Tree really hard, but it was probably out of men that day.

Somebody married the high earners! I wonder what they had to offer.

I married a high earner and he’s a mean spirited POS whom I can’t wait to divorce.

What's stopping you? I'm sure he'll be gutted.

This Board is FULL of misogynistic as--oles the last few weeks. Like this prick.

Jeff lets them stay. Their posts aren't deleted anymore, the incel trolls have won.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is foolish advice.

Here’s some better advice:

If you have to strategize how to get him to fulfill basic responsibilities and be your equal around the house, then dump him. Do it quickly. He won’t get better and no matter how clever your tactics are, he will find ways to thwart them because his laziness works for him.

Yup. That was always my strategy. Pick a capable adult. Proceed to live life with capable adult.

[Anonymous]

Men who are capable adults act that way.

My DH is, mercifully, capable. We still squabble about chores with both of us liking certain things a certain way. But, I'm good at tuning out the "you didn't load the dishwasher right" comments. He's good at tuning out my "that's not how you fold a tshirt" comments.

Honestly, as long as he's pulling his weight, then if he wants to take his time to rearrange the dishwasher before running, he can knock himself out. And micromanaging me (and vice versa) is not going to make me do it differently when my way gets the dishes just as clean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: Of course they are, because otherwise you UMC lifestyle with reduced (or zero) work hours would not exist. So be grateful he brought you along for the ride.

lol it’s the reverse for far too many of us

Lol Yes was about to comment that I know so many who make equal or more than their husbands and also do most of all the other home work.

Why didn't you marry a higher earner?

NP. I’m sure they shook the High Earner Tree really hard, but it was probably out of men that day.

Somebody married the high earners! I wonder what they had to offer.

I married a high earner and he’s a mean spirited POS whom I can’t wait to divorce.

What's stopping you? I'm sure he'll be gutted.

Pp there is no need for that.