Reply to PSA: Men Are Capable Adults

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree. I'm much happier being a partner, rather than a mother, to DH. [/quote]

Op here. Thanks for understanding.  I feel like so many people need to view men as equals from the beginning. You want an equal, be an equal,  treat him as an equal.

If you trash talk your husband's competence don't be surprised when he lives up to your expectations. [/quote]

Nobody starts out trash talking their DH’s competence. They earn it by not acting remotely like equals. [/quote]

Do you make sure they get equal time with the newborn?[/quote]

lol. why would it be my job to “make sure he gets equal time” with his own child!!! but no, despite all opportunities, he consistently declined to take equal time at all stages of child rearing. [/quote]

My point is,  he doesn't have a choice. [b] Letting him decline[/b] isn't treating him as an equal. [/quote]

Again, you seem to be talking about husbands as a child that the wife needs to rear correctly or face the consequences. You keep talking about the work the wife needs to do for her husband to act like a capable adult. The entire point is that the wife shouldn't have to do any work at all.

Turn it around. [b]What work do you think my husband did so that I would act like a capable caregiver and adult?[/b] [/quote]
Assumed you are a capable person and would do it. And you did.

Now turn it around and give him that expectation.

And make sure its really 50/50. Not that you offer him a diaper change once a day. He can handle any mood the baby might be in. You are matter of factly going to take a much needed walk or whatever.

For those saying their husband won't do it, he'd really let his own baby die rather than care for it? If that's the case you have bigger issues than I can help you with. I'm talking about normal people here.

Also as a  Long-term strategy you can't decide that the baby is all the mothers problem, and then when it's older it becomes his. He needs time to adjust just like women do.
[/quote]

You still don't get it, OP. You are placing all the burden of thinking and training on the woman. Your post is to women. Blaming them for their husbands not stepping up.

Men aren't sitting around assuming women are competent. They are sitting around not thinking about what needs to be done at all. And your brilliant advice is for women to act the same way.

I grew up with two parents who ignored me. It's no way to live. You're gross.[/quote]

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