Are marriages worse today?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hoeflation is a major issue these days

Hoeflation is a neologism that refers to the inflation of perceived social and sexual desirability, often fueled by social media platforms. It's a modern phenomenon that has sparked intrigue, debates, and, yes, quite a bit of confusion.
https://www.enotalone.com/article/relationships/hoeflation-exposed-13-insights-for-a-healthier-relationship-r8763/

Ha! Omg. I love that name.

Me too, have been calling them skanks still.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 1955, 2.3% of marriages ended in divorce. Today it is between 35-50%. That’s huge! Are marriages a lot worse today or are men worse husbands/women worse wives? Were 47.7% of people just absolutely depressed and miserable in their marriages in the 50s and we don’t know about it?

'

I think ... yes, people were miserable and unhappy in the 1950s. In the 50s women were almost often dependent on men. They were discriminated against when getting jobs (it would go to a man who had a family to feed), they were paid less (because they weren't men with families to support), financially (they couldn't get a credit card without a male co-signer), in expectations (nobody thought women had enough brains or fortitude to survive). They'd often lose their kids b/c they didn't have a job. Birth control couldn't be had by unmarried women. So all of this leads one to weigh their options and ... stay married.

My mother who was married in the early 1960’s, worked very hard at her marriage. She, like many women of her generation, was married to someone who was completely uncompromising and who always got his own way. We had all these cute little expressions back then that basically meant “he’s a narcissistic as*hat” - like “he rules the roost” and “its his way or the highway.” But she put up with things that I can’t imagine putting up with. For example, he didn’t like chicken and he didn’t like chocolate so those foods were never purchased or served in his house. He always picked out the car and he always bought a green one cuz that was his favorite color. I couldn’t tell you whether my mother had a favorite color or food. She wasn’t allowed one. He routinely berated her and called her names in front of us, would wake us all up in the middle of the night to look for something he had misplaced, he was an alcoholic who spent the grocery money on beer and cigarettes back when we were poor. He chose the house and the neighborhood. We couldn’t have a dog because he did not like animals. We basically didn’t talk when he was around. This is the reality that the passport bros want to re establish. King of his castle indeed. Why would any educated woman with other options sign up for this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They were worse before IMO. My grandma was clearly abused by grandpa. She had her own apartment nearby where she could go when grandpa went crazy at times. They owned a small farm and usually lived there. They never divorced though. He was alcoholic and died of heart attack. Police did nothing as domestic abuse was not a crime unless you kill the other person.

My father was just as abusive to my mother; she had nowhere to go. He found her every time. She finally divorce him when we were in high school. I begged her to do it long before. This all was in the old country.

I left my husband within two years in US when he got physically abusive. Leaving has become easier.

Most men I met have not been marriage or even dating material. A lot of untreated mental issues and special needs that come out when they can't hide them anymore.

Agree.

It’s like they never learned to talk or resolve things, they go straight to arguing, bullying and verbal abuse.

[Anonymous]

OMG. You're joshing me right! Women, like, had it so bad in the 1950s, or around like when Russia was scary. We have it so much better now. We can like vote just recently. And it's not even that I want to vote. Its just like, don't tell me what I can do with my body man. Men just care about themselves. No man is worth anything. They're all like garbage. Don't you know these things?

[Anonymous]

In 1955 women couldnt have their own bank account and marital rape was legal.

Interesting that you think that is "better" than divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriages aren't worse, but the men to pick from certainly are.

Read about hoeflation, that's why there are passports bros dedicated to finding foreign women

See, the men to pick from are worse.

Agreed! No one is fighting to get a chance at the Andrew Tates of the world. Take your passport and your otherwise low value dollar and rubbish mentality and see how well you fair once you realize you’re not cut out to be a citizen in many of the countries you are romanticizing. Trust me- we do not miss your type at all. You all are significantly weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG. You're joshing me right! Women, like, had it so bad in the 1950s, or around like when Russia was scary. We have it so much better now. We can like vote just recently. And it's not even that I want to vote. Its just like, don't tell me what I can do with my body man. Men just care about themselves. No man is worth anything. They're all like garbage. Don't you know these things?

Well at least some things never change...

[Anonymous]

The rapid shift and decline of traditional roles in relationships and marriage probably leaves both men and women unsure of where they should stand. Women don’t want not to be equal and will initiate divorce 70% of the time. Basically, no one has time for bullsht anymore and will just end things. Gen z men and women are massively confused about what they want. It’s a weird time to be alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They were worse before IMO. My grandma was clearly abused by grandpa. She had her own apartment nearby where she could go when grandpa went crazy at times. They owned a small farm and usually lived there. They never divorced though. He was alcoholic and died of heart attack. Police did nothing as domestic abuse was not a crime unless you kill the other person.

My father was just as abusive to my mother; she had nowhere to go. He found her every time. She finally divorce him when we were in high school. I begged her to do it long before. This all was in the old country.

I left my husband within two years in US when he got physically abusive. Leaving has become easier.

Most men I met have not been marriage or even dating material. A lot of untreated mental issues and special needs that come out when they can't hide them anymore.

Agree.

It’s like they never learned to talk or resolve things, they go straight to arguing, bullying and verbal abuse.

Or maybe you harangue the men in your life and they don’t feel they deserve to be unduly criticized at every turn. Just a thought. Also, maybe you approach them in a pandering, condescending manner and they respond angrily. Men are simply. Speak plainly to them. Realize that they just want to speak plainly and we can’t read your mind if you’re mad about something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hoeflation is a major issue these days

Hoeflation is a neologism that refers to the inflation of perceived social and sexual desirability, often fueled by social media platforms. It's a modern phenomenon that has sparked intrigue, debates, and, yes, quite a bit of confusion.
https://www.enotalone.com/article/relationships/hoeflation-exposed-13-insights-for-a-healthier-relationship-r8763/

Ha! Omg. I love that name.

Me too, have been calling them skanks still.

A skank or a hoe used to be the worse insult, now these women glorify the behavior and the outfits and being used. Really nasty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re kidding me. We KNOW women were trapped in marriages. They didn’t have the ability to get a credit card or even checking account without a husband. Forgeti earning power to survive alone. I’m flabbergasted how you don’t know recent history.

I’m not trying to be pedantic, but you cannot believe that 47% of marriages were between women and horrific abusers who beat them and they couldn’t leave. I’m trying to understand realistically if people were generally better spouses to each other or if half of marriages were as bad as they are today, but women could not leave them.

On DCUM, not doing the dishes and not conspicuously-enough sharing “the mental load” are equivalent divorce triggers to abuse.

So is the inappropriate use of hyphens.

The “mental load” is such a nebulous thing to try and define. You don’t see men complaining about “mental loads”. I’m sorry you feel you have a “mental load”. I mean I have one with work and kids and life but I don’t really need to break down and cry about it. Men just get on with things. Men just complain so much less. It’s so much easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re kidding me. We KNOW women were trapped in marriages. They didn’t have the ability to get a credit card or even checking account without a husband. Forgeti earning power to survive alone. I’m flabbergasted how you don’t know recent history.

I’m not trying to be pedantic, but you cannot believe that 47% of marriages were between women and horrific abusers who beat them and they couldn’t leave. I’m trying to understand realistically if people were generally better spouses to each other or if half of marriages were as bad as they are today, but women could not leave them.

On DCUM, not doing the dishes and not conspicuously-enough sharing “the mental load” are equivalent divorce triggers to abuse.

So is the inappropriate use of hyphens.

The “mental load” is such a nebulous thing to try and define. You don’t see men complaining about “mental loads”. I’m sorry you feel you have a “mental load”. I mean I have one with work and kids and life but I don’t really need to break down and cry about it. Men just get on with things. Men just complain so much less. It’s so much easier.

Indeed, because their wives take care of things the husbands are not even aware of.

[Anonymous]

Great, and I take care of a number of things my wife isn't even aware of. In her mind, the kitchen just cleaned itself after she seemingly used every pot in the house to make spaghetti for the kids, or things that are broken that she didn't even realize were broken, magically fixed themselves when she was taking a nap. Sitting around with a barely managed pile of mental anxieties and overanalyzing life's trivialities doesn't mean you have more of a 'load' than men do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great, and I take care of a number of things my wife isn't even aware of. In her mind, the kitchen just cleaned itself after she seemingly used every pot in the house to make spaghetti for the kids, or things that are broken that she didn't even realize were broken, magically fixed themselves when she was taking a nap. Sitting around with a barely managed pile of mental anxieties and overanalyzing life's trivialities doesn't mean you have more of a 'load' than men do.

Not every husband is like you. Some men just go to work and don't contribute to the house. They don't even buy their own clothes. They'd rather wear shoes with holes and wait for the wifey to buy a new pair.

[Anonymous]

OP is mixing and matching stats. The 1955 stat is 2.3 divorces per 1000 people per year. This is a very different statistic than percent of marriages that fail.

The current divorce rate is actually only 2.4 divorces per 1000 people per year. (though the marriage rate has also declined quite a bit)

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/dvs/marriage-divorce/national-marriage-divorce-rates-00-22.pdf