37 single, want a baby, make about 95k a year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?

Enjoy life, save for retirement and eldercare, get a puppy, foster children.

[Anonymous]

The happiest people I know are single moms by choice. They all seem to have a great support network set up and are able to parent and live as they please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The happiest people I know are single moms by choice. They all seem to have a great support network set up and are able to parent and live as they please.

You lost me at "They all seem to".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The happiest people I know are single moms by choice. They all seem to have a great support network set up and are able to parent and live as they please.

You lost me at "They all seem to".

Ok. I will rephrase it as “they have a good support network”. Close friends, or family. They stress less about child care than I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

They can adopt or use reproductive technology. The key is to try to have children grow up in a stable 2 parent household if possible

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?

Irresponsible to have a child without a committed partner and it is grossly unfair to a child.

Irresponsible to have a child with a man unless the man is demonstrably capable of caring for the child on his own 50% of the time up to your standards if/when you divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?

Donor sperm. IVF. Make appointment literally today.

[Anonymous]

Do it. If I were talking to my 37 yo self, I would say go for it.
I was afraid of being judged by others for having a kid out of wedlock. So I had a child later in life with a narcissistic a-hole. Don't do it to yourself. It's ok to be a solo parent, you get to call all the shots, and that's priceless.

[Anonymous]

Plenty of people make it work on far less. If you already own your home, that’s great because you don’t have to worry about fluctuating rent. How supportive do you think your own parents and family would be?

[Anonymous]

Single mom by choice here—-I love my life. I have 2 kids. The infant and toddler years were hard but now they’re teens and life is so much fun. I think one of the benefits is that I’m never disappointed in my partner.

At 37, you are AMA. My only caution to you is think what you will do if your child has SN. Some can be dx in utero but others can’t. My youngest has Autism and it required a lot of flexibility in my job when he was younger. Since I was single, quitting my job and staying home was not an option.

If you have a good support network, go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Use a sperm donor and do it on your own.

Signed,
Someone who married an awful person because I really wanted to have kids.

You’re awful for wanting to bring children into the world with an “awful person.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?

Irresponsible to have a child without a committed partner and it is grossly unfair to a child.

This is the only correct answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The happiest people I know are single moms by choice. They all seem to have a great support network set up and are able to parent and live as they please.

You seem to know a lot of happy single moms by choice. That's odd, statistically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is not the place for this question and skews very socially conservative plus wealthy. Find some single mom by choice groups locally and reach out to them. I am not a SMBC but have two friends who are and these groups seem very supportive and tight. They're always trading childcare in a way I'm frankly envious of and really rely on each other. On its face, 95k sounds lower than my friends, but I am sure it can be done.

This. Do it! Make sure you have your village and support, but you don’t need to come here for validation. In face, block this site on your phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?

Irresponsible to have a child without a committed partner and it is grossly unfair to a child.

This is the only correct answer.

No it’s not. Not every kid has every single advantage in life. Sure it would be great if every women who wanted kids met their perfect partner at 25 and married at 29 and then had great high paying jobs with a home and settled down at 30 but life isn’t perfect and you deal with the hand you are dealt. I’d rather her a child alone then to never have a child. If OP is a committed mom, she’ll be fine and her child will be fine. Perfection is not the goal.