DH Radio Silent On Work Travel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is crazy. I have traveled for work regularly for 20 years and I have rarely missed calling home, and if I don’t call, I always always text.

I doubt he’s with a woman because he’d probably be covering his tracks but he could actually be excessively drinking, which is just as serious an issue.

Only on DCUM is having an affair roughly equivalent offense to drinking when on a work trip.

That’s because cheaters like to justify their cheating so they can continue to keep cheating.

[Anonymous]

I get that the sudden change is disconcerting but think you need to work out what is actually bothering you. Is it that you really need to coordinate schedules? Or maybe you don’t like he is possibly enjoying himself? Or that he is prioritising something over calling you? Are you a bit type A and this feels like a loss of control?

Figure that out before you have a conversation with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is crazy. I have traveled for work regularly for 20 years and I have rarely missed calling home, and if I don’t call, I always always text.

I doubt he’s with a woman because he’d probably be covering his tracks but he could actually be excessively drinking, which is just as serious an issue.

Only on DCUM is having an affair roughly equivalent offense to drinking when on a work trip.

Drinking and excessive drinking to the point of not being able to meet basic family commitments are not the same thing.

Alcoholism is indeed in the same category as adultery as far as I’m concerned.

First off, there wasn't a "basic family commitment" he missed, it was a check in call from his wife. Yes, she wanted to know about scheduling, but come on. Second, more likely, he had a few beers and decided he didn't want to deal with it. It's a real leap to jump straight to full blown alcoholism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I haven't looked at my phone for the last 5 hours while sitting in a pub" line is absolute horsesh*t and would make me suspicious as hell.

It's 2024. Literally NO ONE goes 5 hours during the day and doesn't glance at their phone. And before any SKIF nerd pedant wants to chime in, OP has already stated he is at a pub drinking.

Yes, OP's husband should have been truthful: Honey, I was in the middle of drinking with work friends. I was not going to stop to answer some non-emergency schedule thing.

Stop what? He wasn't going to pick up his phone and type" Sorry, slamming pints with the crew, will call in the AM, love to everyone!"

It takes literally 3 seconds. Going to the bathroom is 1000 times more of an interruption. Does he not use the toilet while on travel? Something is up and OP is right to trust her gut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I haven't looked at my phone for the last 5 hours while sitting in a pub" line is absolute horsesh*t and would make me suspicious as hell.

It's 2024. Literally NO ONE goes 5 hours during the day and doesn't glance at their phone. And before any SKIF nerd pedant wants to chime in, OP has already stated he is at a pub drinking.

Yes, OP's husband should have been truthful: Honey, I was in the middle of drinking with work friends. I was not going to stop to answer some non-emergency schedule thing.

Stop what? He wasn't going to pick up his phone and type" Sorry, slamming pints with the crew, will call in the AM, love to everyone!"

It takes literally 3 seconds. Going to the bathroom is 1000 times more of an interruption. Does he not use the toilet while on travel? Something is up and OP is right to trust her gut.

What might (and likely is) up is that he just didn't want to deal with it right then, when he was having a good time. Multiple texts re scheduling wouldn't make me want to call, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I haven't looked at my phone for the last 5 hours while sitting in a pub" line is absolute horsesh*t and would make me suspicious as hell.

It's 2024. Literally NO ONE goes 5 hours during the day and doesn't glance at their phone. And before any SKIF nerd pedant wants to chime in, OP has already stated he is at a pub drinking.

Yes, OP's husband should have been truthful: Honey, I was in the middle of drinking with work friends. I was not going to stop to answer some non-emergency schedule thing.

Stop what? He wasn't going to pick up his phone and type" Sorry, slamming pints with the crew, will call in the AM, love to everyone!"

It takes literally 3 seconds. Going to the bathroom is 1000 times more of an interruption. Does he not use the toilet while on travel? Something is up and OP is right to trust her gut.

We have no idea whether that text would have been sufficient for OP or she is the kind of person who would be further set off by that. She is “irate” right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I haven't looked at my phone for the last 5 hours while sitting in a pub" line is absolute horsesh*t and would make me suspicious as hell.

It's 2024. Literally NO ONE goes 5 hours during the day and doesn't glance at their phone. And before any SKIF nerd pedant wants to chime in, OP has already stated he is at a pub drinking.

Yes, OP's husband should have been truthful: Honey, I was in the middle of drinking with work friends. I was not going to stop to answer some non-emergency schedule thing.

Stop what? He wasn't going to pick up his phone and type" Sorry, slamming pints with the crew, will call in the AM, love to everyone!"

It takes literally 3 seconds. Going to the bathroom is 1000 times more of an interruption. Does he not use the toilet while on travel? Something is up and OP is right to trust her gut.

What might (and likely is) up is that he just didn't want to deal with it right then, when he was having a good time. Multiple texts re scheduling wouldn't make me want to call, either.

OP seems so angry and controlling that I would not want to deal with her either.

[Anonymous]

Some people are refreshed, and operate better, by compartmentalizing. That is what I would do. That is what I would want. I'm a woman and have been married 30 years. I would resent you needing so much communication.

"I'm ok. You're ok. Everything at home is ok. All ok enough." That should do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I haven't looked at my phone for the last 5 hours while sitting in a pub" line is absolute horsesh*t and would make me suspicious as hell.

It's 2024. Literally NO ONE goes 5 hours during the day and doesn't glance at their phone. And before any SKIF nerd pedant wants to chime in, OP has already stated he is at a pub drinking.

Yes, OP's husband should have been truthful: Honey, I was in the middle of drinking with work friends. I was not going to stop to answer some non-emergency schedule thing.

Stop what? He wasn't going to pick up his phone and type" Sorry, slamming pints with the crew, will call in the AM, love to everyone!"

It takes literally 3 seconds. Going to the bathroom is 1000 times more of an interruption. Does he not use the toilet while on travel? Something is up and OP is right to trust her gut.

We have no idea whether that text would have been sufficient for OP or she is the kind of person who would be further set off by that. She is “irate” right now.

Irrelevant. PP was highlighting how the 'ask' isn't impossible, as the other PP implied. I don't care if it is sufficient or not, but no one will ever convince me that shooting off an 8 word text is disruptive or burdening.

And I will add this even though I hate to feed into the 'everything is an affair' trolls playbook, but as a woman who traveled ~25% in my 20s/early 30s doing sales, a solid 1/3 of the men were cheating on their wives and it was almost always with a coworker. It was really gross and a huge part of why I left that industry. Not saying this is the case with OP but tons and tons of people cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I haven't looked at my phone for the last 5 hours while sitting in a pub" line is absolute horsesh*t and would make me suspicious as hell.

It's 2024. Literally NO ONE goes 5 hours during the day and doesn't glance at their phone. And before any SKIF nerd pedant wants to chime in, OP has already stated he is at a pub drinking.

Yes, OP's husband should have been truthful: Honey, I was in the middle of drinking with work friends. I was not going to stop to answer some non-emergency schedule thing.

Stop what? He wasn't going to pick up his phone and type" Sorry, slamming pints with the crew, will call in the AM, love to everyone!"

It takes literally 3 seconds. Going to the bathroom is 1000 times more of an interruption. Does he not use the toilet while on travel? Something is up and OP is right to trust her gut.

We have no idea whether that text would have been sufficient for OP or she is the kind of person who would be further set off by that. She is “irate” right now.

Irrelevant. PP was highlighting how the 'ask' isn't impossible, as the other PP implied. I don't care if it is sufficient or not, but no one will ever convince me that shooting off an 8 word text is disruptive or burdening.

And I will add this even though I hate to feed into the 'everything is an affair' trolls playbook, but as a woman who traveled ~25% in my 20s/early 30s doing sales, a solid 1/3 of the men were cheating on their wives and it was almost always with a coworker. It was really gross and a huge part of why I left that industry. Not saying this is the case with OP but tons and tons of people cheat.

Actually it’s really relevant - if that word 8 text is going to cause a fight, then some people are just going to pretend they didn’t see it. Did you see OP’s post that she wants some actual responses? Saying you are drinking is going to inflame the person looking for an emotional or scheduling response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I haven't looked at my phone for the last 5 hours while sitting in a pub" line is absolute horsesh*t and would make me suspicious as hell.

It's 2024. Literally NO ONE goes 5 hours during the day and doesn't glance at their phone. And before any SKIF nerd pedant wants to chime in, OP has already stated he is at a pub drinking.

Yes, OP's husband should have been truthful: Honey, I was in the middle of drinking with work friends. I was not going to stop to answer some non-emergency schedule thing.

Stop what? He wasn't going to pick up his phone and type" Sorry, slamming pints with the crew, will call in the AM, love to everyone!"

It takes literally 3 seconds. Going to the bathroom is 1000 times more of an interruption. Does he not use the toilet while on travel? Something is up and OP is right to trust her gut.

We have no idea whether that text would have been sufficient for OP or she is the kind of person who would be further set off by that. She is “irate” right now.

Irrelevant. PP was highlighting how the 'ask' isn't impossible, as the other PP implied. I don't care if it is sufficient or not, but no one will ever convince me that shooting off an 8 word text is disruptive or burdening.

And I will add this even though I hate to feed into the 'everything is an affair' trolls playbook, but as a woman who traveled ~25% in my 20s/early 30s doing sales, a solid 1/3 of the men were cheating on their wives and it was almost always with a coworker. It was really gross and a huge part of why I left that industry. Not saying this is the case with OP but tons and tons of people cheat.

Actually it’s really relevant - if that word 8 text is going to cause a fight, then some people are just going to pretend they didn’t see it. Did you see OP’s post that she wants some actual responses? Saying you are drinking is going to inflame the person looking for an emotional or scheduling response.

You're still missing the point. I was countering the infeasibility of a reply. It is feasible. You might not like what the reaction is, but IDGAF. The message can be sent without burden or disruption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I haven't looked at my phone for the last 5 hours while sitting in a pub" line is absolute horsesh*t and would make me suspicious as hell.

It's 2024. Literally NO ONE goes 5 hours during the day and doesn't glance at their phone. And before any SKIF nerd pedant wants to chime in, OP has already stated he is at a pub drinking.

Yes, OP's husband should have been truthful: Honey, I was in the middle of drinking with work friends. I was not going to stop to answer some non-emergency schedule thing.

Stop what? He wasn't going to pick up his phone and type" Sorry, slamming pints with the crew, will call in the AM, love to everyone!"

It takes literally 3 seconds. Going to the bathroom is 1000 times more of an interruption. Does he not use the toilet while on travel? Something is up and OP is right to trust her gut.

We have no idea whether that text would have been sufficient for OP or she is the kind of person who would be further set off by that. She is “irate” right now.

Irrelevant. PP was highlighting how the 'ask' isn't impossible, as the other PP implied. I don't care if it is sufficient or not, but no one will ever convince me that shooting off an 8 word text is disruptive or burdening.

And I will add this even though I hate to feed into the 'everything is an affair' trolls playbook, but as a woman who traveled ~25% in my 20s/early 30s doing sales, a solid 1/3 of the men were cheating on their wives and it was almost always with a coworker. It was really gross and a huge part of why I left that industry. Not saying this is the case with OP but tons and tons of people cheat.

Actually it’s really relevant - if that word 8 text is going to cause a fight, then some people are just going to pretend they didn’t see it. Did you see OP’s post that she wants some actual responses? Saying you are drinking is going to inflame the person looking for an emotional or scheduling response.

You're still missing the point. I was countering the infeasibility of a reply. It is feasible. You might not like what the reaction is, but IDGAF. The message can be sent without burden or disruption.

I guess you’re missing my point which I stated in the chain above. Ignoring is easier than saying the truth which is that he was not going to stop hanging out to give the response OP was looking for.

[Anonymous]

I don’t call when I travel, I send a text when it fits in my schedule. Doesn’t sound like he has a lot of down time.

[Anonymous]

I visit Las Vegas every year for a four day national conference. I rarely keep in touch with my family nonstop. My schedule is pretty busy being up at 7-8am to breakfast to conference until 4-5pm then to dinner meetings or gatherings, etc. By the time I get back to my hotel it's the middle of the night for my family.

I'll FaceTime with my kids 2-3 times maybe if I have time, but again the issue is busy schedule and zone time difference. In Vegas 9pm is 12 midnight in DC.

I do text off and on but never "check in". I'm an adult not a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I haven't looked at my phone for the last 5 hours while sitting in a pub" line is absolute horsesh*t and would make me suspicious as hell.

It's 2024. Literally NO ONE goes 5 hours during the day and doesn't glance at their phone. And before any SKIF nerd pedant wants to chime in, OP has already stated he is at a pub drinking.

Yes, OP's husband should have been truthful: Honey, I was in the middle of drinking with work friends. I was not going to stop to answer some non-emergency schedule thing.

Stop what? He wasn't going to pick up his phone and type" Sorry, slamming pints with the crew, will call in the AM, love to everyone!"

It takes literally 3 seconds. Going to the bathroom is 1000 times more of an interruption. Does he not use the toilet while on travel? Something is up and OP is right to trust her gut.

We have no idea whether that text would have been sufficient for OP or she is the kind of person who would be further set off by that. She is “irate” right now.

Irrelevant. PP was highlighting how the 'ask' isn't impossible, as the other PP implied. I don't care if it is sufficient or not, but no one will ever convince me that shooting off an 8 word text is disruptive or burdening.

And I will add this even though I hate to feed into the 'everything is an affair' trolls playbook, but as a woman who traveled ~25% in my 20s/early 30s doing sales, a solid 1/3 of the men were cheating on their wives and it was almost always with a coworker. It was really gross and a huge part of why I left that industry. Not saying this is the case with OP but tons and tons of people cheat.

Actually it’s really relevant - if that word 8 text is going to cause a fight, then some people are just going to pretend they didn’t see it. Did you see OP’s post that she wants some actual responses? Saying you are drinking is going to inflame the person looking for an emotional or scheduling response.

You're still missing the point. I was countering the infeasibility of a reply. It is feasible. You might not like what the reaction is, but IDGAF. The message can be sent without burden or disruption.

I guess you’re missing my point which I stated in the chain above. Ignoring is easier than saying the truth which is that he was not going to stop hanging out to give the response OP was looking for.

No, I'm not. There is no cessation of hanging out required to take the 3 second need to pop off an 8 word text.