Dear MILs

[Anonymous]

The quoting is off but…

Call your OBGYN

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The quoting is off but…

Call your OBGYN

STAT!.. You need some Zoloft.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The quoting is off but…

Call your OBGYN

STAT!.. You need some Zoloft.

Hormone imbalance is so hard to understand, or even recognize. It’s so easy to blame it on lack of sleep, stress, crazy people around you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The quoting is off but…

Call your OBGYN

STAT!.. You need some Zoloft.

Hormone imbalance is so hard to understand, or even recognize. It’s so easy to blame it on lack of sleep, stress, crazy people around you.

I think op has PPA and this is currently how it's manifesting.

[Anonymous]

I think what everyone is missing is that this one poster’s MIL didn’t ask or seem to give a shit when her DIL’s pregnancy was rough and her awful labor. Which has much greater medical issues then just simply being tired yet MIL didn’t seem to care then. All of a sudden when her son seems tired which is perfectly natural for a first time parent of a super young young baby all of a sudden it’s an issue.

A good and decent MIL would have cared about both her son and DIL. Not just one which shows yes as long as her grandchild and son are ok that’s all that matter. Which I think the other poster’s comment that she is an incubator is spot on.

If she didn’t see her as an incubator she would have cared about her first as a close family member and her DIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be easier to follow if you just told us what happened this time OP.

We have a 4 month old son and MIL recently came to visit from 2 hours away and said her son looked really tired. And called him later on to question why he looks so tired almost as if we don’t have a freaking 4 month old child at home.

Again not her business. We alternate nights with the baby pretty much to a T. But again even if I was being “unfair” it’s still not my MIL’s business to go behind my back and hint around to her son to check up on him to make sure I’m “doing my job.”

Her son is a grown married man and a big boy with a mouth of his own. If there were issues he is more than capable of speaking to me himself. Not having mommy swooping in as super woman to try and protect him from being a father and save him from his evil unfair wife.

This isn’t the first time she has tried to pull this shit.

My husband did the right thing by telling her mom. “Yes of course I’m tired I have a 4 month year old son but so is OP and you don’t seem to care about her well being. Please stop questioning how things are done in our household I’m a big boy.” And she did stop but of course after saying, “I’m your mother I’m just looking out for you.”

Funny how she didn’t seem to notice or care after I was in labor for hours on end and when I was super sick during my pregnancy and she didn’t check up to see if her son was doing enough to help take care of me.

Which my husband was amazing through this whole thing.

I mean, why are you so tired? Is the baby colicky? You have other children? At 4 months you really should not be haggard with 1 kid.

It’s our first and only child so far so we are getting used to being new parents. I thought that was pretty standard for first time parents as a new baby?

My point was that my MIL felt it necessary to ask my husband why HE is so tired behind my back which has passive aggressive undertones to it otherwise why not just ask him in front of me? Why ask him behind his wife’s back.

Again she didn’t seem to care after my well being when I had a very difficult pregnancy and then all the pain I was in from the long labor but get her son who didn’t go through one iota of that all of a sudden mommy needs to check up on him and make sure his wife is doing her part.

Passive aggressive undertones.....asking him behind his wife's back? Being a new mom can be very difficult but it sounds like you are having some post partum problems that are not just due to your MIL.

I agree with this.

There is something else going on.

I don’t see someone say “hey you look tired” to their child but not their spouse as passive aggressive. Add that to your exhausted at 4 months.

Please call your pediatrician.

The issue was the 3 of us were together for hours on end and it’s just funny how all of a sudden that’s when she asks her son that. Why wait until im out of the room to inquire about that?

Again I went through an awful pregnancy and labor and MIl didn’t seem to care one iota about me then. But her son seems slightly tired and it’s a whole thing. Which is why I made that comment that I felt like an incubator for her grandchild rather than a family member.

I have an appt with my ped for next week and my therapist the week after.

And if she had inquired after you at all your nutty ass would have accused her of being nosey, and prying into private health information and judging you or critiscing your parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what everyone is missing is that this one poster’s MIL didn’t ask or seem to give a shit when her DIL’s pregnancy was rough and her awful labor. Which has much greater medical issues then just simply being tired yet MIL didn’t seem to care then. All of a sudden when her son seems tired which is perfectly natural for a first time parent of a super young young baby all of a sudden it’s an issue.

A good and decent MIL would have cared about both her son and DIL. Not just one which shows yes as long as her grandchild and son are ok that’s all that matter. Which I think the other poster’s comment that she is an incubator is spot on.

If she didn’t see her as an incubator she would have cared about her first as a close family member and her DIL.

And how do you think it would have gone if MIL had asked?

Let me help you. Not well. OP would have been pissed off about that as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be easier to follow if you just told us what happened this time OP.

We have a 4 month old son and MIL recently came to visit from 2 hours away and said her son looked really tired. And called him later on to question why he looks so tired almost as if we don’t have a freaking 4 month old child at home.

Again not her business. We alternate nights with the baby pretty much to a T. But again even if I was being “unfair” it’s still not my MIL’s business to go behind my back and hint around to her son to check up on him to make sure I’m “doing my job.”

Her son is a grown married man and a big boy with a mouth of his own. If there were issues he is more than capable of speaking to me himself. Not having mommy swooping in as super woman to try and protect him from being a father and save him from his evil unfair wife.

This isn’t the first time she has tried to pull this shit.

My husband did the right thing by telling her mom. “Yes of course I’m tired I have a 4 month year old son but so is OP and you don’t seem to care about her well being. Please stop questioning how things are done in our household I’m a big boy.” And she did stop but of course after saying, “I’m your mother I’m just looking out for you.”

Funny how she didn’t seem to notice or care after I was in labor for hours on end and when I was super sick during my pregnancy and she didn’t check up to see if her son was doing enough to help take care of me.

Which my husband was amazing through this whole thing.

I mean, why are you so tired? Is the baby colicky? You have other children? At 4 months you really should not be haggard with 1 kid.

It’s our first and only child so far so we are getting used to being new parents. I thought that was pretty standard for first time parents as a new baby?

My point was that my MIL felt it necessary to ask my husband why HE is so tired behind my back which has passive aggressive undertones to it otherwise why not just ask him in front of me? Why ask him behind his wife’s back.

Again she didn’t seem to care after my well being when I had a very difficult pregnancy and then all the pain I was in from the long labor but get her son who didn’t go through one iota of that all of a sudden mommy needs to check up on him and make sure his wife is doing her part.

Passive aggressive undertones.....asking him behind his wife's back? Being a new mom can be very difficult but it sounds like you are having some post partum problems that are not just due to your MIL.

I agree with this.

There is something else going on.

I don’t see someone say “hey you look tired” to their child but not their spouse as passive aggressive. Add that to your exhausted at 4 months.

Please call your pediatrician.

The issue was the 3 of us were together for hours on end and it’s just funny how all of a sudden that’s when she asks her son that. Why wait until im out of the room to inquire about that?

Again I went through an awful pregnancy and labor and MIl didn’t seem to care one iota about me then. But her son seems slightly tired and it’s a whole thing. Which is why I made that comment that I felt like an incubator for her grandchild rather than a family member.

I have an appt with my ped for next week and my therapist the week after.

And if she had inquired after you at all your nutty ass would have accused her of being nosey, and prying into private health information and judging you or critiscing your parenting.

This.

[Anonymous]

There's something poetic about OP being the mother of a son. I pity her future DIL.

[Anonymous]

You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what everyone is missing is that this one poster’s MIL didn’t ask or seem to give a shit when her DIL’s pregnancy was rough and her awful labor. Which has much greater medical issues then just simply being tired yet MIL didn’t seem to care then. All of a sudden when her son seems tired which is perfectly natural for a first time parent of a super young young baby all of a sudden it’s an issue.

A good and decent MIL would have cared about both her son and DIL. Not just one which shows yes as long as her grandchild and son are ok that’s all that matter. Which I think the other poster’s comment that she is an incubator is spot on.

If she didn’t see her as an incubator she would have cared about her first as a close family member and her DIL.

And how do you think it would have gone if MIL had asked?

Let me help you. Not well. OP would have been pissed off about that as well.

Meh I wouldn’t assume that. It seems like her issue was that her MIL only cared about her son and not her well being.

I mean asking after her health certainly beats being seen as an incubator.

And i have this funny feeling that if her awful pregnancy being at risk meant that somehow this MIL’s grandchild could possibly be in danger all of a sudden MIL would suddenly “care” about the pregnancy and ask over and over how the unborn baby is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what everyone is missing is that this one poster’s MIL didn’t ask or seem to give a shit when her DIL’s pregnancy was rough and her awful labor. Which has much greater medical issues then just simply being tired yet MIL didn’t seem to care then. All of a sudden when her son seems tired which is perfectly natural for a first time parent of a super young young baby all of a sudden it’s an issue.

A good and decent MIL would have cared about both her son and DIL. Not just one which shows yes as long as her grandchild and son are ok that’s all that matter. Which I think the other poster’s comment that she is an incubator is spot on.

If she didn’t see her as an incubator she would have cared about her first as a close family member and her DIL.

What was the relationship before the pregnancy.

I have 6 SIL’s and 3 would not want to be bothered while in the hospital or even after except receiving food. It’s really 50/50 how people like to be supported.

A few text me all the time and we chat and a few are uncomfortable with that closeness so I generally only talk to my brothers about things.

So were they close then all of a sudden the MIL doesn’t GAF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be easier to follow if you just told us what happened this time OP.

We have a 4 month old son and MIL recently came to visit from 2 hours away and said her son looked really tired. And called him later on to question why he looks so tired almost as if we don’t have a freaking 4 month old child at home.

Again not her business. We alternate nights with the baby pretty much to a T. But again even if I was being “unfair” it’s still not my MIL’s business to go behind my back and hint around to her son to check up on him to make sure I’m “doing my job.”

Her son is a grown married man and a big boy with a mouth of his own. If there were issues he is more than capable of speaking to me himself. Not having mommy swooping in as super woman to try and protect him from being a father and save him from his evil unfair wife.

This isn’t the first time she has tried to pull this shit.

My husband did the right thing by telling her mom. “Yes of course I’m tired I have a 4 month year old son but so is OP and you don’t seem to care about her well being. Please stop questioning how things are done in our household I’m a big boy.” And she did stop but of course after saying, “I’m your mother I’m just looking out for you.”

Funny how she didn’t seem to notice or care after I was in labor for hours on end and when I was super sick during my pregnancy and she didn’t check up to see if her son was doing enough to help take care of me.

Which my husband was amazing through this whole thing.

I mean, why are you so tired? Is the baby colicky? You have other children? At 4 months you really should not be haggard with 1 kid.

It’s our first and only child so far so we are getting used to being new parents. I thought that was pretty standard for first time parents as a new baby?

My point was that my MIL felt it necessary to ask my husband why HE is so tired behind my back which has passive aggressive undertones to it otherwise why not just ask him in front of me? Why ask him behind his wife’s back.

Again she didn’t seem to care after my well being when I had a very difficult pregnancy and then all the pain I was in from the long labor but get her son who didn’t go through one iota of that all of a sudden mommy needs to check up on him and make sure his wife is doing her part.

Your problem is with your DH, he sounds like a big baby. If my mother asked me something like that. I’d consider wether or not relaying the message would make my hormonal and sleep deprived DW upset and proceed accordingly.

Lady give the baby to MIL or your own mom and get some sleep. You sound like you need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what everyone is missing is that this one poster’s MIL didn’t ask or seem to give a shit when her DIL’s pregnancy was rough and her awful labor. Which has much greater medical issues then just simply being tired yet MIL didn’t seem to care then. All of a sudden when her son seems tired which is perfectly natural for a first time parent of a super young young baby all of a sudden it’s an issue.

A good and decent MIL would have cared about both her son and DIL. Not just one which shows yes as long as her grandchild and son are ok that’s all that matter. Which I think the other poster’s comment that she is an incubator is spot on.

If she didn’t see her as an incubator she would have cared about her first as a close family member and her DIL.

And how do you think it would have gone if MIL had asked?

Let me help you. Not well. OP would have been pissed off about that as well.

Meh I wouldn’t assume that. It seems like her issue was that her MIL only cared about her son and not her well being.

I mean asking after her health certainly beats being seen as an incubator.

And i have this funny feeling that if her awful pregnancy being at risk meant that somehow this MIL’s grandchild could possibly be in danger all of a sudden MIL would suddenly “care” about the pregnancy and ask over and over how the unborn baby is.

When in doubt, OP is choosing to assume the worst motive so I think it would have gone over poorly.