Tween BMI and diet

[Anonymous]

My daughter's on the higher side - 5'4" and 135. I am 4" taller and only outweigh her by 10 lbs. but she's an excellent athlete who plays a bunch of sports and is constantly active. Some kids just have a bigger build. I'd probably keep an eye on her nutrition and make sure she's making good choices most of the time. She might also be poised for a growth spurt- I feel like girls gain weight before they gain height and boys gain height first and then gain weight.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This is OP, thanks for many of the helpful and some not helpful comments. To answer some questions she’s just over 5’4” and 162 lbs so she does look heavy but is also visibly muscular. She just played two hours of basketball this morning and is in great running cardio shape, her coach rarely takes her out because she is so fast, skilled, and doesn’t get tired. She has 2 siblings who are athletes and our family plan has always been to do a ton of athletics and have lots of foods available at home that they can choose from. Her siblings are not overweight and can metabolize a lot of calories easily so I’m hesitant to say her brother can eat a dozen cookies while she get carrot sticks.

5ft 4 in and 162 lbs on a 12 year old is not muscular. Knock it off.

Right? These people are crazy. My 6’2” tall extremely athletic 13 year old BOY is all muscle and doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him… and he weighs 150…

And OP, just don’t let ANY of your kids eat a dozen cookies! It’s not good for them, either.

Lol. Your son is not “all muscle” at 6’2, 150. He is scrawny. My husband is 6’1” and 185lbs and is not “all muscle” though he is pretty muscular and in great shape. He is thin and has an high metabolism. He has to drink protein shakes after every workout and lift 5 times a week to be muscular otherwise he loses weight. He never gets below 170 (if he slacks off).

LOL to you, ya doofus! Your husband is a grown man, and my son is a child who hasn’t even gone through puberty yet… have you ever even seen a child?

Don’t be defensive because I called you out on your scrawny son. He is almost underweight according to his bmi. “All muscle” he is not. Maybe bones.

This sounds like someone whose son filled out at 12 and they can't comprehend that other kids are different. Obtuse and narrow-minded...and not very bright.

DP, totally fine that this kid is filling out later but he’s not the example his mommy thinks he is.

I think Americans are so used to seeing fat people everywhere in real life and roided out professional athletes and actors (newsflash for the ladies: that Hemsworth Thor physique is neither natural nor healthy) that many people have absolutely no freaking clue what a normal, strong, healthy adult should look like anymore, let alone a kid. Which is why there is even any question as to whether a 5’4” 162 lb 12 year old girl is maybe, possibly not obese.

(Like the PP with the “thin” 6’1” 185 lb husband… that’s less than a BMI point from the overweight range! He may be healthy, but “thin” he is not…)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:This is OP, thanks for many of the helpful and some not helpful comments. To answer some questions she’s just over 5’4” and 162 lbs so she does look heavy but is also visibly muscular. She just played two hours of basketball this morning and is in great running cardio shape, her coach rarely takes her out because she is so fast, skilled, and doesn’t get tired. She has 2 siblings who are athletes and our family plan has always been to do a ton of athletics and have lots of foods available at home that they can choose from. Her siblings are not overweight and can metabolize a lot of calories easily so I’m hesitant to say her brother can eat a dozen cookies while she get carrot sticks.

5ft 4 in and 162 lbs on a 12 year old is not muscular. Knock it off.

Right? These people are crazy. My 6’2” tall extremely athletic 13 year old BOY is all muscle and doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him… and he weighs 150…

And OP, just don’t let ANY of your kids eat a dozen cookies! It’s not good for them, either.

Lol. Your son is not “all muscle” at 6’2, 150. He is scrawny. My husband is 6’1” and 185lbs and is not “all muscle” though he is pretty muscular and in great shape. He is thin and has an high metabolism. He has to drink protein shakes after every workout and lift 5 times a week to be muscular otherwise he loses weight. He never gets below 170 (if he slacks off).

Seriously. PP above is nuts. 6’2 and 150 for a boy is not “all muscle.” It’s all skin and bones. And he’s probably underweight and a nutritionist would tell him so. Especially if he’s in any sport other than swimming, running and maybe wrestling. Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

I’m the PP with the muscular 11yo. No one needs a dozen cookies OP. My kid had dessert pretty lunch every day but it’s 2-3 cookies or similar. If she’s hungry she can have a healthy snack, it’s probably not gonna be carrot sticks because we generally eat veggies with meals not as a snack. It might be an apple or banana with PB though.

[Anonymous]

Guys, maybe it is just me, but I assumed the OP was exaggerating a bit with the dozen cookies to mark the comparison to carrot sticks.
Being too literal here is missing the forest for the trees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys, maybe it is just me, but I assumed the OP was exaggerating a bit with the dozen cookies to mark the comparison to carrot sticks.
Being too literal here is missing the forest for the trees.

I assumed the same but OP still didn't say what the kid is eating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys, maybe it is just me, but I assumed the OP was exaggerating a bit with the dozen cookies to mark the comparison to carrot sticks.
Being too literal here is missing the forest for the trees.

I assumed the same but OP still didn't say what the kid is eating.

Too much of whatever it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys, maybe it is just me, but I assumed the OP was exaggerating a bit with the dozen cookies to mark the comparison to carrot sticks.
Being too literal here is missing the forest for the trees.

Agree. I assumed she means her boys eat a lot and don’t have a weight issue and it is hard to say no you can’t have a 3rd or 4th slice of pizza (or whatever, just an example) while she sees her brothers eating way more or eating dessert every night. The appetite of teen boys is pretty enormous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP with the muscular 11yo. No one needs a dozen cookies OP. My kid had dessert pretty lunch every day but it’s 2-3 cookies or similar. If she’s hungry she can have a healthy snack, it’s probably not gonna be carrot sticks because we generally eat veggies with meals not as a snack. It might be an apple or banana with PB though.

Ok, wait until you have teen boys. Good luck telling them only 2 Oreo’s. You cannot police the food of teens. They will eat what and how much they want and trying to control that won’t be successful. Not going to buy any processed foods or snack foods at all? Ok, you will be the “almond mom” and they won’t have friends over and will make a point to hang out at someone else’s house. They will still eat plenty of junk at school, at friends, when out.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You are trying to justify why your 12 year old should remain obese and that is very sad. Your child is OBESE. She is therefore, not healthy. She needs less food and more movement.

You have no clue what OP's DD's body fat/body comp is, and therefore you have no ability to comment on her. It's particularly stunning that you say she needs more movement, she. OP already said her DC plays three sports, runs, and lifts heavy.

Maybe you should get some help for your own psych issues and shut the f ck up.

NP, we may have no clue about OP’s DD’s fat/body comp, but her doctor does. Doctor says diet and food restrictions. Doctor says daughter needs to lose 20 pounds. Doctors don’t suggest that willy nilly.

But OP is trying to come on here to find validation for her bad parenting from strangers like you who don’t have a medical degree and haven’t seen the daughter.

OP, stop it. Be a good mom and put your daughter on a diet like her doctor told you to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you see her in relation to other girls her age. You know this isn't good for her and will actually be terribly detrimental for her mind and body to be this large at 12. Stop making excuses about her being athletic. Many girls are just as athletoc at 12. The problem will come in a few years when she isn't as active. When she has more homework or doesn't make the team or decides theater is for her. Right now her sports are keeping her weight from ballooning. You are one injury or interest shift away from a major problem.

This. And let’s be real—males and females don’t require the same number of calories, so she honestly shouldn’t be eating the same amount as her brothers.

Shes only 12 and very active; it’ll only get worse as she ages, completes puberty, and becomes more sedentary.

If her doctor raised an issue, you have a problem.

[Anonymous]

I have 5 young adult/teen girls. They all had a variety of shapes and sizes between 13 and 18. Puberty doesn’t do the same for everyone and lots of changes happen during that time. I have been very careful to avoid a lot of body or food shaming because that stuff sticks with them.

OP I would encourage healthy athletic food choices and just keep an eye on it.

[Anonymous]

I was your dd and shamed for it by my ped, put on a diet...Nothing worked and I started eating more rather than less, in secret. Turns out I was just full-grown at 12yo and 5'2 and 125, making me overweight according to child BMI. At the same weight once in my 20s I looked like a regular adult, normal, not overweight. I never shed my poor self-esteem over it.

[Anonymous]

What a toxic thread this is, no wonder so many kids develop eating disorders with the body shaming going on around us. OP, please get another opinion. I strongly recommend avoiding any diet talk for a growing kid. The pendulum can swing the other way and you'll end up with an eating disorder (said from experience). Consider looking into intuitive eating or as others have said, see a sports nutritionist. Make sure there is easy access to healthier snacks with fiber, substance and nutrients, but don't demonize any food, and certainly don't tell her she can't eat something her brothers can. There are lots of different types of healthy bodies and shapes, and that's okay.

[Anonymous]

I would like a look at your families eating habits and see if you can make some changes without really saying anything. Don't buy juice or soda anymore and see if there's some snack food swaps you can make without making a big deal out of it. I did this with my tween when they got a bit out of wack during covid times when they stopped sports. I stopped buying juice boxes and packing desserts for lunch etc. Nothing to drastic. They didn't really seem to notice and if they did ask about a specific item I said something generic about being more healthy. This was after our pediatrician had noticed a departure in their weight curve at an appointment.