How do deal with 17YO DD having sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it true that “most” 17 year olds are having sex? So interesting - I had a few boyfriends in HS but just really wasn’t ready until college (freshman year). No judgment - I would be fine with my kids being sexually active at 17 but I guess I didn’t realize that the *majority* of HS junior and seniors are sexually active.

They aren’t. The most recent CDC study shows only 30% of teens 13-17 had sex: https://nccd.cdc.gov/Youthonline/App/Results.aspx?TT=A&OUT=0&SID=HS&QID=QQ&LID=XX&YID=2021&LID2=&YID2=&COL=S&ROW1=N&ROW2=N&HT=QQ&LCT=LL&FS=S1&FR=R1&FG=G1&FA=A1&FI=I1&FP=P1&FSL=S1&FRL=R1&FGL=G1&FAL=A1&FIL=I1&FPL=P1&PV=&TST=False&C1=&C2=&QP=G&DP=1&VA=CI&CS=Y&SYID=&EYID=&SC=DEFAULT&SO=ASC

As a parent I’m much more concerned about the use of contraception than the intercourse stats here.

(FWIW, I didn’t have sex until I was 20)

+1
Maybe the one positive thing about them being so addicted to technology. Rather watch tiktoks or play the newest COD than have sex.

[Anonymous]

My teenager was interested in an IUD and I was interested in not being a young grandma so it was a real win-win.

The pill thing is fine if they remember to really consistently take it. If you have a math hw forgetter I might lean IUD IJS.

-Not a grandma yet on purpose

[Anonymous]

Some teens can handle some can’t. Teen’s maturity level is a big indicator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People really need to get over the ridiculous misogynistic vestiges of Puritanism.

There is nothing wrong with consensual, safe sex in this kind of relationship if the level of commitment works for both people.

k

Not even adults. Kids having sex. Gross

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it true that “most” 17 year olds are having sex? So interesting - I had a few boyfriends in HS but just really wasn’t ready until college (freshman year). No judgment - I would be fine with my kids being sexually active at 17 but I guess I didn’t realize that the *majority* of HS junior and seniors are sexually active.

They aren’t. In fact fewer teens are having sex than 10, 15, 20, 30 years ago.

Kids today are drinking less too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it true that “most” 17 year olds are having sex? So interesting - I had a few boyfriends in HS but just really wasn’t ready until college (freshman year). No judgment - I would be fine with my kids being sexually active at 17 but I guess I didn’t realize that the *majority* of HS junior and seniors are sexually active.

They aren’t. The most recent CDC study shows only 30% of teens 13-17 had sex: https://nccd.cdc.gov/Youthonline/App/Results.aspx?TT=A&OUT=0&SID=HS&QID=QQ&LID=XX&YID=2021&LID2=&YID2=&COL=S&ROW1=N&ROW2=N&HT=QQ&LCT=LL&FS=S1&FR=R1&FG=G1&FA=A1&FI=I1&FP=P1&FSL=S1&FRL=R1&FGL=G1&FAL=A1&FIL=I1&FPL=P1&PV=&TST=False&C1=&C2=&QP=G&DP=1&VA=CI&CS=Y&SYID=&EYID=&SC=DEFAULT&SO=ASC

As a parent I’m much more concerned about the use of contraception than the intercourse stats here.

(FWIW, I didn’t have sex until I was 20)

Yep. 70% are not having it so OP’s daughter is in a clear minority.

[Anonymous]

She might not be the only one he’s having sex with …fwiw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it true that “most” 17 year olds are having sex? So interesting - I had a few boyfriends in HS but just really wasn’t ready until college (freshman year). No judgment - I would be fine with my kids being sexually active at 17 but I guess I didn’t realize that the *majority* of HS junior and seniors are sexually active.

I'm a gen x'r and I think kids are different these days, but I had plenty of sex in high school. And I don't think any of my high school friends weren't having sex. We all were. A lot.

My 2 best friends and I all graduated virgins. We were popular, etc. but all waited until college.

[Anonymous]

^gen Xers

[Anonymous]

Younger age of drinking more risk factors for alcohol dependency.

Younger age of sex tied to greater promiscuity and cheating later in life.

Studies are out there.

If you can delay both, you are better off.

[Anonymous]

I think what is bothering OP is what would bother me: neither are interested in a relationship. Your daughter may be an outlier but many girls appear blasé to match a guy’s energy but secretly do want a relationship. I would be more concerned that her needs are being met and the decision to be casual is really and truly mutual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it true that “most” 17 year olds are having sex? So interesting - I had a few boyfriends in HS but just really wasn’t ready until college (freshman year). No judgment - I would be fine with my kids being sexually active at 17 but I guess I didn’t realize that the *majority* of HS junior and seniors are sexually active.

They aren’t. The most recent CDC study shows only 30% of teens 13-17 had sex: https://nccd.cdc.gov/Youthonline/App/Results.aspx?TT=A&OUT=0&SID=HS&QID=QQ&LID=XX&YID=2021&LID2=&YID2=&COL=S&ROW1=N&ROW2=N&HT=QQ&LCT=LL&FS=S1&FR=R1&FG=G1&FA=A1&FI=I1&FP=P1&FSL=S1&FRL=R1&FGL=G1&FAL=A1&FIL=I1&FPL=P1&PV=&TST=False&C1=&C2=&QP=G&DP=1&VA=CI&CS=Y&SYID=&EYID=&SC=DEFAULT&SO=ASC

As a parent I’m much more concerned about the use of contraception than the intercourse stats here.

(FWIW, I didn’t have sex until I was 20)

Yep. 70% are not having it so OP’s daughter is in a clear minority.

70% of teens 13-17 aren’t having sex. But if you looked at just 17 year olds, I guarantee the sexually active percentage is much higher than 30%. MUCH HIGHER Big difference between an 8th grader and a 12th grader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First thing on Monday morning make an appointment for her to get an IUD. It sounds like you raised a mature, responsible DD. Sex is normal at age 17, OP.

Not your decision and no OBGYN will forcibly implant an IUD in a 17 year old without her consent. She can call and make the appointment herself, if she so desires.

Forcibly implant an IUD? WHAT? Why would you think this was something forced on her? Helping her navigate this is being a great mom, not doing something without her consent. The assumption is that the daughter would not want to be pregnant and getting an IUD is the best way to avoid this. Some people on DCUM are so combative. You must be a lot of fun to be around in real life, PP.

Helping her navigate this is very different than saying, “First thing Monday morning make an appointment for her to get an IUD.” The mother could encourage the daughter to discuss birth control options with her doctor, but the mother demanding the doctor implant an IUD in her 17 year old daughter is out of line. I’m in my 40s and wouldn’t choose an IUD—no way should a mother force that on a 17 year old.

Why would anyone assume this is FORCED? The mother DEMANDING? FFS. You have issues.

[Anonymous]

Is he 18 and she is only 17? Class one misdemeanor in VA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First thing on Monday morning make an appointment for her to get an IUD. It sounds like you raised a mature, responsible DD. Sex is normal at age 17, OP.

NOPE. I know several people that got pregnant on IUDs.