Decisive people, how do you do it?

[Anonymous]

I’m naturally optimistic and not terribly picky and consciously avoid having regrets since they’re not practical (I can’t go back and time and fix my decisions) but what really did it was living alone for a decade. When you have no one else to decide where you’re going to dinner, you learn to decide for yourself. I’m still living with the sucky colander I got in college and some of the meh furniture I got when I got my first real pay check and I don’t really mind that much although I do kind of look forward to both these things breaking so I can buy nicer stuff.

I don’t always love making the day-to-day trivial decisions though (everyone in my family of origin has anxiety and we’re somewhat a guess culture family so deciding on a restaurant when I was growing up always took AGES) so I currently love having a super opinionated toddler to ask what we should have for dinner. 😆 I also do appreciate having more constraints on my decisions: I can no longer move literally anywhere; spouse’s job and preferences and children’s daycare availability must be taken into consideration along with what I want so we have a very short list of acceptable options.

[Anonymous]

I am decisive and my husband is the opposite. We just went through a house hunt. It was tortuous. Even after we paid the earnest deposit he literally looked for reasons to walk away.
I am not looking forward to furnishing the new house, because he will demand to be part of every decision about furniture, window treatments etc. even freaking dishes!
I am not spendy and have a better track record finding quality at reasonable price, so it's not like my shopping needs to be contained.
Ugh.

[Anonymous]

I can't make decisions. I 2nd guess myself too much.

And I'm too soft. I'm glad I'm not a director or manager b/c i dont know what to do if there's disruption in the status quo (coworker drama, difficult clients, staff unreliable).

I'd make a terrible leader

[Anonymous]

The answers about family members influencing one to be more decisive are relatable to me. I think I’m decisive because my older sister could never decide. Along with that, she could never move forward in life because she would never take a risk. She would talk about things, like taking a job in a new city, or when to have a baby, but there were always so many restrictions and things to do first, and things that had to be lined up, and she never acted. I did not want to be like this and made it a point to make decisions and take calculated risks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. The very idea that a decision could be "wrong" or that I would have "regret" is something I can not relate to.

That moment is not pivotal. Every day of your life can be filled with joy, and meaning and significance

Another decisive person here, and this resonates with me, although I am not as good at finding ther joy/ meaning/ significance as I should be. But ITA that about 98% of decisions in life just aren't that important. I too just don't experience much regret. I do the best I can with the resources and information that I have, and if things don't work out, oh well. Life goes on.

[Anonymous]

Yes- trust your gut instinct and correct if needed

[Anonymous]

Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's an option- you are either wired that way or you aren't. I am not anxious. I am decisive. I'm detail oriented- so especially if it involves money, I know exactly what I am paying for (dimensions/construction/materials), I'm good at making decisions and have a good people-reader. I don't regret my decisions.

Being indecisive is confusing to me- like passive people or people who can't stand up for themselves. It makes no sense to be this way. I mean some things you don't really care about/are non committal, but everything can't be struggle-bus level 'what to do'.

I don't have trouble making decisions, but what I don't understand are people like you. I cannot understand what it is to go through life with no ability to find compassion or understanding for people who are or think differently than you do.

People like you seem to have stalled out somewhere in development. It would be sad, except you tend to make life unhappy and difficult for those around you with your self-centeredness, rudeness, and hurtfulness.

That escalated quickly! You don't think that everyone knows there is a whole world of people out there who are wired differently and with a huge variety of human experiences and processing, deserving of compassion? Some weird conflations and assumptions here and you sound miserable- I am sorry for that. I feel like you need to print out your response here and read it to whomever keeps hurting you.