Decisive people, how do you do it?

[Anonymous]

Things that make me indecisive : I’m a perfectionist, have anxiety, and am somewhat frugal.

[Anonymous]

I’m very open minded in real life and hate committing too hard to something. But I’m very decisive at work because I’ve seen over the years how not being decisive just leads to such inefficiency and is such a poor motivator. It is way more productive to work confidently and have to change course occasionally than to constantly be in limbo and never move forward. Decisive people just know they are protecting everyone from that and are willing to take their lumps occasionally if wrong.

[Anonymous]

OP, you might read the book Decisive by the brothers Heath.

https://heathbrothers.com/books/decisive/

[Anonymous]

I just don’t think hard about the consequences of my decisions. Generally speaking the consequences of an action go into one of three categories: good, bad, nonexistent to speak of. The vast majority of decisions have either consequences that don’t matter much (like picking what shirt to wear) or that you cannot know in advance (like which or two roughly equal colleges to attend). There is no reason to agonize over those decisions. For everything else, if you know the consequence is bad, don’t do it. If it’s good, do it. And there are no decisions I would make that would have drastically bad outcomes, like marrying an alcoholic or something (I’m already married).

That’s my general approach.

[Anonymous]

I’m very decisive and I consider it to be a strong suit: a lot of people are passive or afraid of making the “wrong” decision, so become paralyzed. I am pretty intuitive and bold, so this has always been my nature. It’s paid off pretty well. Most decisions are reversible!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm good at analyzing things quickly. But that also means I can see a lot of potential problems with any given decision. When I was younger, I agonized over decisions.

As I got older, I gained enough experience to be confident that - in almost every case - the cost of agonizing over a decision was worse than the cost of imperfect decisions. That helped me just pick a path and get on with it.

This is a really good point. What's worse: A) Picking a dish when there may have been one you liked better and could order another time or B) Driving your family and friends crazy because you need 30 minutes to agonize over the menu every time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I became this way by watching my mother who couldn't decide anything beyond what to make for dinner. If it was "where do you want to go for dinner?" she'd spend an hour and a half thinking as her two young children got progressively hungrier and more poorly behaved before my father snapped and made an executive decision, then she'd claim to get "sick" from eating where he picked. She'd spend a year deciding on a carpeting color, then claim that wasn't what she wanted and doesn't like it. I have a thousand examples like that. I don't want anyone to think I'm like her.

Sometimes I regret my decisions - I bought a desk good for laptops that had zero storage. That was a mistake, and I made sure the next time I bought a desk to get one with a lot of storage.

I'm sorry. That sounds like a low-level mental illness. Kudos to you for not repeating the pattern.

[Anonymous]

I was fairly decisive before I got married, but my DH and kids are VERY decisive, so I'm less so now.

[Anonymous]

For most things, being a satisfier not a maximizer is fine. Make those decisions quickly and don’t second-guess

For the big things that do matter - see above. Practicing on the little things will make it easier to make good decisions that you can trust for the big things.

Believe that there is very little in life that cannot be fixed if you get to make a decision about it to begin with

[Anonymous]

I’m very decisive and I very rarely regret my decisions. How do I make decisions? I think I do a quick mental pro/con comparison and choose the option with the most pros and fewest cons. I don’t worry if I am making the wrong decision at all because I’m pretty solid on my values, preferences and priorities, so my analysis usually works out. I did make one giant mistake that I totally regret, but with the information I had at the time, it was the practical decision. More information came to light later, but it was too late for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For most things, being a satisfier not a maximizer is fine. Make those decisions quickly and don’t second-guess

For the big things that do matter - see above. Practicing on the little things will make it easier to make good decisions that you can trust for the big things.

Believe that there is very little in life that cannot be fixed if you get to make a decision about it to begin with

Interestingly, I am a maximizer, anxious and perfectionist but I am also very decisive. They’re not opposites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I became this way by watching my mother who couldn't decide anything beyond what to make for dinner. If it was "where do you want to go for dinner?" she'd spend an hour and a half thinking as her two young children got progressively hungrier and more poorly behaved before my father snapped and made an executive decision, then she'd claim to get "sick" from eating where he picked. She'd spend a year deciding on a carpeting color, then claim that wasn't what she wanted and doesn't like it. I have a thousand examples like that. I don't want anyone to think I'm like her.

Sometimes I regret my decisions - I bought a desk good for laptops that had zero storage. That was a mistake, and I made sure the next time I bought a desk to get one with a lot of storage.

My mom was like this too. It drove me crazy and has made me a very decisive person. No hemming and hawing for eternity. Give me the options and I'll make a decision on the spot and not look back. I have little to no tolerance for indecisiveness now.

Like PP sometimes I do make the wrong decision and regret it (nothing major) but I pull the trigger on decisions fairly quickly.

Same here

[Anonymous]

I have a pretty good imagination and trust my intuition so i think about a decision and see how I feel about it

[Anonymous]

I’m decisive. I simply don’t spend time with regrets, so don’t worry about making bad decisions. I have full confidence in my ability to enjoy and make good things out of whatever path I end up on. Pick the wrong job? Oh well, I’ll learn something. Took the wrong route to New York? It’s just an extra hour in the car, no biggie. I just don’t attach any emotional baggage to there having been a “better” choice.

[Anonymous]

I trust my judgement and don't look back. Onward and upward.