Mother of bride hosting bridal shower?

[Anonymous]

The bridesmaids typically host the shower. The MOB typically pays for it but this is not discussed. Thats how it’s done in my circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what you think about at 3am? Get a life.

Yes, my daughter had asked me to host her shower. It’s been awhile since I had been to one and immediately agreed. Ive mentioned it to a few people who seemed shocked, so trying to figure out if I’m committing a faux pas. Trust me, I have other issues as well, but this is the one on my mind tonight!

Yes you are committing a faux pas. The younger generations don’t care though. Don’t you have friends who could host or doesn’t she have friends who could host but you cover most of the expenses?

I’m one of the old-fashioned people who read this as tacky, except my own daughter got married at age 20 and none of her friends had a place big enough to host a shower for her. They organized the whole thing, but it was at my house (and I gave them some money to afford the food.) So I guess that I violated my own rule and had to retract judgment.

[Anonymous]

Weird. I’m old and remember some people having multiple wedding showers for brides. Plenty were hosted by the mothers. Maybe because some MOH didn’t have money. In fact even when I was a bridesmaid I recall one with three — one with friends in DC, one with bride’s family in western PA and one with the groom's family in Gettysburg, PA. that was in the '90s for friends. I attended all three. Never occurred to me that this was abnormal and this was for friends I met in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird. I’m old and remember some people having multiple wedding showers for brides. Plenty were hosted by the mothers. Maybe because some MOH didn’t have money. In fact even when I was a bridesmaid I recall one with three — one with friends in DC, one with bride’s family in western PA and one with the groom's family in Gettysburg, PA. that was in the '90s for friends. I attended all three. Never occurred to me that this was abnormal and this was for friends I met in DC.

I should also say that almost all showers were held at home especially back when people had a bar/second kitchens in the basement but a few at a hall (fireman’s / VFW/ church).

[Anonymous]

My DIL's mom and I co-hosted her shower at my house and I was happy to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what you think about at 3am? Get a life.

Yes, my daughter had asked me to host her shower. It’s been awhile since I had been to one and immediately agreed. Ive mentioned it to a few people who seemed shocked, so trying to figure out if I’m committing a faux pas. Trust me, I have other issues as well, but this is the one on my mind tonight!

Yes you are committing a faux pas. The younger generations don’t care though. Don’t you have friends who could host or doesn’t she have friends who could host but you cover most of the expenses?

I’m one of the old-fashioned people who read this as tacky, except my own daughter got married at age 20 and none of her friends had a place big enough to host a shower for her. They organized the whole thing, but it was at my house (and I gave them some money to afford the food.) So I guess that I violated my own rule and had to retract judgment.

I’m old fashioned, and I think this totally fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird. I’m old and remember some people having multiple wedding showers for brides. Plenty were hosted by the mothers. Maybe because some MOH didn’t have money. In fact even when I was a bridesmaid I recall one with three — one with friends in DC, one with bride’s family in western PA and one with the groom's family in Gettysburg, PA. that was in the '90s for friends. I attended all three. Never occurred to me that this was abnormal and this was for friends I met in DC.

You should not have been invited to more than one shower. That’s the epitome of gift grabbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t have had a bridal shower at all if my mom didn’t initiate hosting it. It was low key at a restaurant with a few of the bridal party and family members.

Perfectly fine not to have a shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DIL's mom and I co-hosted her shower at my house and I was happy to do it.

Of course you were happy to grab gifts for your son and DIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird. I’m old and remember some people having multiple wedding showers for brides. Plenty were hosted by the mothers. Maybe because some MOH didn’t have money. In fact even when I was a bridesmaid I recall one with three — one with friends in DC, one with bride’s family in western PA and one with the groom's family in Gettysburg, PA. that was in the '90s for friends. I attended all three. Never occurred to me that this was abnormal and this was for friends I met in DC.

You should not have been invited to more than one shower. That’s the epitome of gift grabbing.

Bridesmaids are expected to attend all of them. What are you talking about??? This wasn’t the only bridal party with more than one shower. I find this especially true if the families are geographically distant. Some older relatives will only attend the shower or wedding depending on distance.

[Anonymous]

NONE of these “traditions” matter in the least.

There are no wedding etiquette rules, except those made up by uptight people.

Just do what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NONE of these “traditions” matter in the least.

There are no wedding etiquette rules, except those made up by uptight people.

Just do what you want.

I somewhat agree, but the one wedding rule etiquette that I can't let go of is not sending thank you cards. I sent a substantial gift to the son of a family friend for his wedding last fall and never got a thank you note. Given that the electronic wedding invitation included a cash app/the knot link, I kinda figured that there wouldn't be a thank you card to follow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NONE of these “traditions” matter in the least.

There are no wedding etiquette rules, except those made up by uptight people.

Just do what you want.

I somewhat agree, but the one wedding rule etiquette that I can't let go of is not sending thank you cards. I sent a substantial gift to the son of a family friend for his wedding last fall and never got a thank you note. Given that the electronic wedding invitation included a cash app/the knot link, I kinda figured that there wouldn't be a thank you card to follow.

This.

[Anonymous]

Tradition in Italian American communities - usually large and held at a function hall

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m old school and still feels tacky to me (I’m 43) but it’s becoming much more common. I’m not sure why this is such an issue for the younger generations. My aunt hosted my bridal shower and my new SIL hosted my baby shower. Neither were wealthy or had large homes. Both did a lovely job. Why can’t other people host any more? They spent all their money on a bachelorette to Vegas?

Among other things, people have smaller families and more spread out lives. When I was a maid of honor, twice, I was in graduate school and lived in a different city from the brides. I personally have zero female cousins, no sisters, and no aunts who could host such a gathering in the city where I live. A lot of these “rules” were created for people with very different lifestyles. That’s true even for those of us who wouldn’t view Vegas as a treat.