Mother of bride hosting bridal shower?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m old school and still feels tacky to me (I’m 43) but it’s becoming much more common. I’m not sure why this is such an issue for the younger generations. My aunt hosted my bridal shower and my new SIL hosted my baby shower. Neither were wealthy or had large homes. Both did a lovely job. Why can’t other people host any more? They spent all their money on a bachelorette to Vegas?

But is really old school if your reasoning against it has nothing to do with the reason for the rule of etiquette?

This is a rule that comes from a time when the bride's family would usually still be supporting the bride financially until her husband assumed that role. So for the bride's mother to host was seen as a gift grab. And there's probably a lot more etiquette history underlying it as well.

I'm 52 and I don't think it's a big deal these days. I'm sure bridal registries were also seen as gauche when they appeared on the scene, but no one thinks that now.

OP, one option would be that the bridesmaids "host," but you have a hand in planning and paying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it now acceptable for mother of the bride to host a bridal shower? I know in the the past this was considered bad manners, but apparently it is now acceptable?

I’ve done my google research, now looking for some real life experiences, lol. Thanks !

My goodness - bad manners?? For you as the mother to host your daughter's bridal shower? What have we become that this is considered bad manners? 1) why do you care what others think 2) this is your daughter, you are her mother - my goodness give her a bridal shower and anyone who thinks it's bad manners should be deleted from your collective lives.

[Anonymous]

What snobby aging Southern sorority girls came up with that dumb rule?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what you think about at 3am? Get a life.

Wow. Just click on the next thread if it bothers you this much. Get a life indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it now acceptable for mother of the bride to host a bridal shower? I know in the the past this was considered bad manners, but apparently it is now acceptable?

I’ve done my google research, now looking for some real life experiences, lol. Thanks !

My goodness - bad manners?? For you as the mother to host your daughter's bridal shower? What have we become that this is considered bad manners? 1) why do you care what others think 2) this is your daughter, you are her mother - my goodness give her a bridal shower and anyone who thinks it's bad manners should be deleted from your collective lives.

You don't seem to understand what manners are all about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it now acceptable for mother of the bride to host a bridal shower? I know in the the past this was considered bad manners, but apparently it is now acceptable?

I’ve done my google research, now looking for some real life experiences, lol. Thanks !

My goodness - bad manners?? For you as the mother to host your daughter's bridal shower? What have we become that this is considered bad manners? 1) why do you care what others think 2) this is your daughter, you are her mother - my goodness give her a bridal shower and anyone who thinks it's bad manners should be deleted from your collective lives.

You don't seem to understand what manners are all about.

And YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND human decency. Manners? What "manners"? Get lost you low rent, Emily Post wanna-be!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t have had a bridal shower at all if my mom didn’t initiate hosting it. It was low key at a restaurant with a few of the bridal party and family members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where I grew up, it was the norm for mothers, MIL, aunts, sisters to host bridal and baby showers. That’s just the way it was—the females in the family came together and planned it. And many times the female cousins or sisters were the MOH and bridesmaids. I thought that was the way it was done until I was in a bridal party for the first time and was asked to spend several hundred dollars to host a shower for 80 people (mostly the MILs family and friends) at a country club. It was crazy.

I think it’s very regional and I’ve seen it done both ways.

Also norm for my family in the 80s to host in home . . . .

[Anonymous]

Host whatever shower you want. You don’t even have to say who the host is on the invitation. Just say it’s a shower in honor of The Bride’s Name. That’s how mine was, and everyone had a great time. That is what is important, not outdated rules from 1950s Georgia.

[Anonymous]

My SIL did this and I think it is fine. In fact, my MIL hosted one for me in my spouse's hometown. if you are uncomfortable with it, you can suggest a bridesmade "host" and pay the expenses.

[Anonymous]

I volunteered to host my BFF’s daughters bridal shower as I thought that was the “rule”
She wanted to do it herself, and that’s what she did. I was kinda relieved.

[Anonymous]

While it’s often the maid of honor or sister who hosts they often live far away and can’t organize so a mom steps in. It’s now pretty common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it now acceptable for mother of the bride to host a bridal shower? I know in the the past this was considered bad manners, but apparently it is now acceptable?

I’ve done my google research, now looking for some real life experiences, lol. Thanks !

My goodness - bad manners?? For you as the mother to host your daughter's bridal shower? What have we become that this is considered bad manners? 1) why do you care what others think 2) this is your daughter, you are her mother - my goodness give her a bridal shower and anyone who thinks it's bad manners should be deleted from your collective lives.

You don't seem to understand what manners are all about.

And YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND human decency. Manners? What "manners"? Get lost you low rent, Emily Post wanna-be!

What do showers have to do with human decency?

If there isn't going to be a shower unless the bride's mom hosts, couldn't you just not have a shower?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it now acceptable for mother of the bride to host a bridal shower? I know in the the past this was considered bad manners, but apparently it is now acceptable?

I’ve done my google research, now looking for some real life experiences, lol. Thanks !

My goodness - bad manners?? For you as the mother to host your daughter's bridal shower? What have we become that this is considered bad manners? 1) why do you care what others think 2) this is your daughter, you are her mother - my goodness give her a bridal shower and anyone who thinks it's bad manners should be deleted from your collective lives.

You don't seem to understand what manners are all about.

And YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND human decency. Manners? What "manners"? Get lost you low rent, Emily Post wanna-be!

What do showers have to do with human decency?

If there isn't going to be a shower unless the bride's mom hosts, couldn't you just not have a shower?

+1

NP here. Agree. DCUMers being on their high horse about etiquette is a great source of entertainment, however.

[Anonymous]

It's no more tacky than a non-virgin bride wearing white. Rules of yesterday mainly no longer apply.