I don't trust doctors anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to go annually, do all the checkups, jump through all the hoops, but several years of terrible care and blatantly incompetent clinicians (e.g. diagnosed me with "tonsillitis" in the tonsils I had removed when I was 8), and I just can't trust them anymore. I've also been abused by doctors who had a poor sense of boundaries, including being stalked by a doctor. I now get horribly nervous even thinking about going to the doctor, and my general health is suffering.

How am I supposed to get over this? I still have a body, and it's still going to need care!

I was in a similar position. Got some truly horrible care over the past few years (an ER doc wanted to send me home to take "antacids" when I had a ruptured appendix -- they just don't believe us women when we have pain), a decent primary care doc that I couldn't get in to see (no appointments with her available for 6 months), having to wait 6 months to see the sleep med doctor after being diagnosed with sleep apnea and suffering the whole time, and I too was abused by a doctor when I was young and vulnerable. I had told my husband I was done with doctors and that I'd never set foot in an ER again. He convinced me to interview female concierge doctors to see if that might work as I have numerous health issues. It did work out. But it took me a while to find one who was taking new patients and it is expensive. But I'm getting good care, and I trust the doctor.

Oh, and I wonder about the stalking, because I think a DMV doctor might have stalked me as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a matter of degree. It’s good to ask doctors questions and get more than one opinion. It’s idiotic to think that Google is providing you with the same expertise as someone with an MD. Every “do your own research” person goes running to the doctor in the end.

No one was suggesting internet research IN PLACE OF a medical visit. Just to help inform it.

Hard disagree. If that's the way you feel, please don't seek medical care from a doctor. Ever.

Now you are just trolling. You never read up on the conditions you have? Or to help you ask the right questions? WTF

That's not what the posters in this thread have in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to go annually, do all the checkups, jump through all the hoops, but several years of terrible care and blatantly incompetent clinicians (e.g. diagnosed me with "tonsillitis" in the tonsils I had removed when I was 8), and I just can't trust them anymore. I've also been abused by doctors who had a poor sense of boundaries, including being stalked by a doctor. I now get horribly nervous even thinking about going to the doctor, and my general health is suffering.

How am I supposed to get over this? I still have a body, and it's still going to need care!

Consider that "doctors" are not a homogenous group in which everyone thinks the same way and makes the same choices. It sounds like you need a solo practitioner who will sit down and talk with you - about your medical problems but also your medical anxiety.

Well, they all think they know your body better than you do (after a 10 min convo) and can never admit when they eff up.

Yes, sometimes doctors make mistakes. Sometimes it's out of actual incompetence, sometimes it is due to lack of time, and sometimes it is simply the fact that you've got to play the odds on diagnoses rather than jumping to order every test under the sun.

But the patients that try to play the "I know my body" card are worse than all of them. No you don't.

You are what is wrong with healthcare, doc. Most often, though not always, it is paternalistic, know-it-all, white male physicians who gaslight and dismiss you as crazy.

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/09/01/medical-gaslighting-warning-signs-and-how-to-advocate-for-yourself.html
https://www.vox.com/even-better/23880457/advocate-for-yourself-doctors-office-health

Literally both of these articles say "You know your body" so it is up to you to advocate for yourself.

And surprise, surprise, they're both written by women.

No, you don't know what's going on in your body. You might know how you feel, but even that is suspect in a lot of cases.

And you, an outsider, can magically diagnose in 8-15 minutes? You're a liability, and I hope you learn that before you cause real harm with your ignorant arrogance.

I also hope you get the opportunity to realize, viscerally, just how quickly you can lose your able-bodied privilege. Doctors make the worst patients, yeah?

No, but I can come up with a plan better than you can with your "research" on Google.

But by all means, treat yourself. Please.

Not if you don't actually listen to what your patients are reporting, because you think they can't evaluate their own bodies for themselves, or know what they feel, or come up with a single idea without your majesty's royal guidance. You took an oath to first do no harm, and you're breaking it with your arrogance. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a matter of degree. It’s good to ask doctors questions and get more than one opinion. It’s idiotic to think that Google is providing you with the same expertise as someone with an MD. Every “do your own research” person goes running to the doctor in the end.

No one was suggesting internet research IN PLACE OF a medical visit. Just to help inform it.

Hard disagree. If that's the way you feel, please don't seek medical care from a doctor. Ever.

Now you are just trolling. You never read up on the conditions you have? Or to help you ask the right questions? WTF

That's not what the posters in this thread have in mind.

Right, because you read minds. MD: Mindreading Doctor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a matter of degree. It’s good to ask doctors questions and get more than one opinion. It’s idiotic to think that Google is providing you with the same expertise as someone with an MD. Every “do your own research” person goes running to the doctor in the end.

No one was suggesting internet research IN PLACE OF a medical visit. Just to help inform it.

Hard disagree. If that's the way you feel, please don't seek medical care from a doctor. Ever.

Now you are just trolling. You never read up on the conditions you have? Or to help you ask the right questions? WTF

That's not what the posters in this thread have in mind.

but pp said "info to help inform the visit" and response was "HARD DISAGREE"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a matter of degree. It’s good to ask doctors questions and get more than one opinion. It’s idiotic to think that Google is providing you with the same expertise as someone with an MD. Every “do your own research” person goes running to the doctor in the end.

No one was suggesting internet research IN PLACE OF a medical visit. Just to help inform it.

Hard disagree. If that's the way you feel, please don't seek medical care from a doctor. Ever.

Now you are just trolling. You never read up on the conditions you have? Or to help you ask the right questions? WTF

That's not what the posters in this thread have in mind.

but pp said "info to help inform the visit" and response was "HARD DISAGREE"

Read the rest of this thread. As any provider will tell you, any patient that says "I know my body" is a red flag. Right up there with someone coming into the ER claiming to have allergies to first-line pain medications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a matter of degree. It’s good to ask doctors questions and get more than one opinion. It’s idiotic to think that Google is providing you with the same expertise as someone with an MD. Every “do your own research” person goes running to the doctor in the end.

No one was suggesting internet research IN PLACE OF a medical visit. Just to help inform it.

Hard disagree. If that's the way you feel, please don't seek medical care from a doctor. Ever.

Now you are just trolling. You never read up on the conditions you have? Or to help you ask the right questions? WTF

That's not what the posters in this thread have in mind.

but pp said "info to help inform the visit" and response was "HARD DISAGREE"

Read the rest of this thread. As any provider will tell you, any patient that says "I know my body" is a red flag. Right up there with someone coming into the ER claiming to have allergies to first-line pain medications.

A red flag warning against what? Contempt of doc? Your fragile ego is a liability, and an impediment to good care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a matter of degree. It’s good to ask doctors questions and get more than one opinion. It’s idiotic to think that Google is providing you with the same expertise as someone with an MD. Every “do your own research” person goes running to the doctor in the end.

No one was suggesting internet research IN PLACE OF a medical visit. Just to help inform it.

Hard disagree. If that's the way you feel, please don't seek medical care from a doctor. Ever.

Now you are just trolling. You never read up on the conditions you have? Or to help you ask the right questions? WTF

That's not what the posters in this thread have in mind.

but pp said "info to help inform the visit" and response was "HARD DISAGREE"

Read the rest of this thread. As any provider will tell you, any patient that says "I know my body" is a red flag. Right up there with someone coming into the ER claiming to have allergies to first-line pain medications.

omg this crazy-ass diversion from the actual conversation AGAIN?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a matter of degree. It’s good to ask doctors questions and get more than one opinion. It’s idiotic to think that Google is providing you with the same expertise as someone with an MD. Every “do your own research” person goes running to the doctor in the end.

No one was suggesting internet research IN PLACE OF a medical visit. Just to help inform it.

Hard disagree. If that's the way you feel, please don't seek medical care from a doctor. Ever.

Now you are just trolling. You never read up on the conditions you have? Or to help you ask the right questions? WTF

That's not what the posters in this thread have in mind.

but pp said "info to help inform the visit" and response was "HARD DISAGREE"

Read the rest of this thread. As any provider will tell you, any patient that says "I know my body" is a red flag. Right up there with someone coming into the ER claiming to have allergies to first-line pain medications.

A red flag warning against what? Contempt of doc? Your fragile ego is a liability, and an impediment to good care.

Think about who is demonstrating an ego in this thread. And who has years of training and experience versus who has... Google.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to go annually, do all the checkups, jump through all the hoops, but several years of terrible care and blatantly incompetent clinicians (e.g. diagnosed me with "tonsillitis" in the tonsils I had removed when I was 8), and I just can't trust them anymore. I've also been abused by doctors who had a poor sense of boundaries, including being stalked by a doctor. I now get horribly nervous even thinking about going to the doctor, and my general health is suffering.

How am I supposed to get over this? I still have a body, and it's still going to need care!

Consider that "doctors" are not a homogenous group in which everyone thinks the same way and makes the same choices. It sounds like you need a solo practitioner who will sit down and talk with you - about your medical problems but also your medical anxiety.

Well, they all think they know your body better than you do (after a 10 min convo) and can never admit when they eff up.

Yes, sometimes doctors make mistakes. Sometimes it's out of actual incompetence, sometimes it is due to lack of time, and sometimes it is simply the fact that you've got to play the odds on diagnoses rather than jumping to order every test under the sun.

But the patients that try to play the "I know my body" card are worse than all of them. No you don't.

You are what is wrong with healthcare, doc. Most often, though not always, it is paternalistic, know-it-all, white male physicians who gaslight and dismiss you as crazy.

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/09/01/medical-gaslighting-warning-signs-and-how-to-advocate-for-yourself.html
https://www.vox.com/even-better/23880457/advocate-for-yourself-doctors-office-health

Literally both of these articles say "You know your body" so it is up to you to advocate for yourself.

And surprise, surprise, they're both written by women.

No, you don't know what's going on in your body. You might know how you feel, but even that is suspect in a lot of cases.

One of my oldest friends went to the health service at our T10 university in the late 1990s with abdominal weight gain x 4 months and pants that no longer fit. She could feel a mass in her abdomen and was concerned about it.

She had not had sex in the relevant interval and had a negative pregnancy test. Nevertheless, the providers there spent nearly an hour trying to convince her that she had a cryptic pregnancy--even placing a stethoscope on "the baby" so she could hear "the heartbeat." When she pointed out that "the heartbeat" was the heartbeat of an adult and not a fetus, someone finally paused.

She had an ovarian cyst the size of a basketball. There was an early-stage ovarian cancer inside it. Miraculously, her willingness to negotiate their nonsense and politely continue to insist that she did, in fact, know what was going on with her body--at least enough to be sure that it was not a pregnancy--resulted in her living.

Off the high horse, doc. A lot of y'all don't know what the hell you're doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to go annually, do all the checkups, jump through all the hoops, but several years of terrible care and blatantly incompetent clinicians (e.g. diagnosed me with "tonsillitis" in the tonsils I had removed when I was 8), and I just can't trust them anymore. I've also been abused by doctors who had a poor sense of boundaries, including being stalked by a doctor. I now get horribly nervous even thinking about going to the doctor, and my general health is suffering.

How am I supposed to get over this? I still have a body, and it's still going to need care!

Consider that "doctors" are not a homogenous group in which everyone thinks the same way and makes the same choices. It sounds like you need a solo practitioner who will sit down and talk with you - about your medical problems but also your medical anxiety.

Well, they all think they know your body better than you do (after a 10 min convo) and can never admit when they eff up.

Yes, sometimes doctors make mistakes. Sometimes it's out of actual incompetence, sometimes it is due to lack of time, and sometimes it is simply the fact that you've got to play the odds on diagnoses rather than jumping to order every test under the sun.

But the patients that try to play the "I know my body" card are worse than all of them. No you don't.

You are what is wrong with healthcare, doc. Most often, though not always, it is paternalistic, know-it-all, white male physicians who gaslight and dismiss you as crazy.

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/09/01/medical-gaslighting-warning-signs-and-how-to-advocate-for-yourself.html
https://www.vox.com/even-better/23880457/advocate-for-yourself-doctors-office-health

Literally both of these articles say "You know your body" so it is up to you to advocate for yourself.

And surprise, surprise, they're both written by women.

No, you don't know what's going on in your body. You might know how you feel, but even that is suspect in a lot of cases.

One of my oldest friends went to the health service at our T10 university in the late 1990s with abdominal weight gain x 4 months and pants that no longer fit. She could feel a mass in her abdomen and was concerned about it.

She had not had sex in the relevant interval and had a negative pregnancy test. Nevertheless, the providers there spent nearly an hour trying to convince her that she had a cryptic pregnancy--even placing a stethoscope on "the baby" so she could hear "the heartbeat." When she pointed out that "the heartbeat" was the heartbeat of an adult and not a fetus, someone finally paused.

She had an ovarian cyst the size of a basketball. There was an early-stage ovarian cancer inside it. Miraculously, her willingness to negotiate their nonsense and politely continue to insist that she did, in fact, know what was going on with her body--at least enough to be sure that it was not a pregnancy--resulted in her living.

Off the high horse, doc. A lot of y'all don't know what the hell you're doing.

+1

I'm the PP who went to the ER with ab pain only to have the attending tell me to go home and take antacids when I had a ruptured appendix. I had to point to where my pain was and say "Antacids won't help pain coming from this spot? Right? What is here?" and he said "Your appendix." I said "Well, what do we do about a problem with the appendix?" and he said "Get a scan. But that takes 3 hours." I said "I'll wait." Of course it didn't take 3 hours, and shortly after the scan he came by my bed and said, with a huge amount of contempt, "I guess you were right," and turned around and walked out. The surgeon, who came down to get me right away to take the appendix out, told me she wasn't surprised at his behavior at all. Then why is he still practicing? I could have gone home, taken some *^$#! Tums, and died.

So yes, I certainly knew my body better than he did. But that is pathetic, any doctor in an ER should know that lrq pain could be appendicitis. Any med student would know that. It's just contempt, burnout, and the general lack of belief with regard to women's pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a matter of degree. It’s good to ask doctors questions and get more than one opinion. It’s idiotic to think that Google is providing you with the same expertise as someone with an MD. Every “do your own research” person goes running to the doctor in the end.

No one was suggesting internet research IN PLACE OF a medical visit. Just to help inform it.

Hard disagree. If that's the way you feel, please don't seek medical care from a doctor. Ever.

Now you are just trolling. You never read up on the conditions you have? Or to help you ask the right questions? WTF

That's not what the posters in this thread have in mind.

but pp said "info to help inform the visit" and response was "HARD DISAGREE"

Read the rest of this thread. As any provider will tell you, any patient that says "I know my body" is a red flag. Right up there with someone coming into the ER claiming to have allergies to first-line pain medications.

A red flag warning against what? Contempt of doc? Your fragile ego is a liability, and an impediment to good care.

Think about who is demonstrating an ego in this thread. And who has years of training and experience versus who has... Google.

That you don't understand how you're telling on yourself, on this thread, would be entertaining if it wasn't so dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to go annually, do all the checkups, jump through all the hoops, but several years of terrible care and blatantly incompetent clinicians (e.g. diagnosed me with "tonsillitis" in the tonsils I had removed when I was 8), and I just can't trust them anymore. I've also been abused by doctors who had a poor sense of boundaries, including being stalked by a doctor. I now get horribly nervous even thinking about going to the doctor, and my general health is suffering.

How am I supposed to get over this? I still have a body, and it's still going to need care!

https://www.healthline.com/health/can-tonsils-grow-back
https://www.sciencefocus.com/the-human-body/can-your-tonsils-grow-back

Also
https://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ask-the-expert/babies-children/a9591/tonsillitis-without-any-tonsils/

Now that your grandson has had his tonsils taken out he cannot get a 'true' tonsillitis, but the beds of tissue at the back of his throat from where his tonsils were removed could still become infected and that may be what his doctor is referring to now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to go annually, do all the checkups, jump through all the hoops, but several years of terrible care and blatantly incompetent clinicians (e.g. diagnosed me with "tonsillitis" in the tonsils I had removed when I was 8), and I just can't trust them anymore. I've also been abused by doctors who had a poor sense of boundaries, including being stalked by a doctor. I now get horribly nervous even thinking about going to the doctor, and my general health is suffering.

How am I supposed to get over this? I still have a body, and it's still going to need care!

https://www.healthline.com/health/can-tonsils-grow-back
https://www.sciencefocus.com/the-human-body/can-your-tonsils-grow-back

Also
https://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ask-the-expert/babies-children/a9591/tonsillitis-without-any-tonsils/

Now that your grandson has had his tonsils taken out he cannot get a 'true' tonsillitis, but the beds of tissue at the back of his throat from where his tonsils were removed could still become infected and that may be what his doctor is referring to now.

haha, I guess Doc feels proud he finally got one right on this thread. But most of us lay folks already knew that...was even in the Seinfeld episode when George had his tonsils out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a matter of degree. It’s good to ask doctors questions and get more than one opinion. It’s idiotic to think that Google is providing you with the same expertise as someone with an MD. Every “do your own research” person goes running to the doctor in the end.

No one was suggesting internet research IN PLACE OF a medical visit. Just to help inform it.

Hard disagree. If that's the way you feel, please don't seek medical care from a doctor. Ever.

Now you are just trolling. You never read up on the conditions you have? Or to help you ask the right questions? WTF

That's not what the posters in this thread have in mind.

but pp said "info to help inform the visit" and response was "HARD DISAGREE"

Read the rest of this thread. As any provider will tell you, any patient that says "I know my body" is a red flag. Right up there with someone coming into the ER claiming to have allergies to first-line pain medications.

A red flag warning against what? Contempt of doc? Your fragile ego is a liability, and an impediment to good care.

Think about who is demonstrating an ego in this thread. And who has years of training and experience versus who has... Google.

That you don't understand how you're telling on yourself, on this thread, would be entertaining if it wasn't so dangerous.

The contempt for their patients is the most dangerous, imo.