I don't trust doctors anymore

[Anonymous]

I used to go annually, do all the checkups, jump through all the hoops, but several years of terrible care and blatantly incompetent clinicians (e.g. diagnosed me with "tonsillitis" in the tonsils I had removed when I was 8), and I just can't trust them anymore. I've also been abused by doctors who had a poor sense of boundaries, including being stalked by a doctor. I now get horribly nervous even thinking about going to the doctor, and my general health is suffering.

How am I supposed to get over this? I still have a body, and it's still going to need care!

[Anonymous]

So just don't go to doctors if you think you can do a better job.

[Anonymous]

Find a health advocate, friend or family member, and take them to your medical appointments.

[Anonymous]

I hear you. I've had major, mystery issues for over 3 years and doctors blew off my only symptom - PCOS. Turns out that was the key to everything. I finally found a physician - out of pocket, of course, who ran something like 100 tests, genetic testing and full immune testing to find the issues and is willing to treat the issues.

[Anonymous]

I trust doctors on a case by case basis. They are very result-oriented as a whole obviously, but sometimes there is more than one course of action, and the result is not the only thing that matters to me as a patient: the side effects, potential less invasive alternatives, a patient's personal history and comfort level around a specific procedure/medication... I ask questions, and they sometimes HATE that. When they do, it's a sign to me I might not be getting the best care and I move on. I find that the best doctors out there welcome questions and are comfortable answering and discussing treatments so I can feel entirely at ease with the final decision.

[Anonymous]

This was the #1 rule I’ve told my kids when they went off to college, don’t just trust what the doctor says.

Listen and discern if it makes sense, do your own research, get a 2nd opinion.

They’ve both learned that doctors are just mediocre humans doing the best they can which is mediocre.

Also, don’t just go to anyone, get recommendations, look at their track record, interview them, don’t worry about their feelings.

[Anonymous]

I think it's case by case too. I'm sick of them jumping to prescriptions as a first choice. I don't want to be bound to prescriptions for my life.

Also they are not always aware of better guidelines (like out of Europe) but when you show your own research, they're like, oh another google doctor. Very dismissive of researchers, probably because they do get crazies who do "research" and want invermectin... so you can't win. case by case

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was the #1 rule I’ve told my kids when they went off to college, don’t just trust what the doctor says.

Listen and discern if it makes sense, do your own research, get a 2nd opinion.

They’ve both learned that doctors are just mediocre humans doing the best they can which is mediocre.

Also, don’t just go to anyone, get recommendations, look at their track record, interview them, don’t worry about their feelings.

Excellent advice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's case by case too. I'm sick of them jumping to prescriptions as a first choice. I don't want to be bound to prescriptions for my life.

Also they are not always aware of better guidelines (like out of Europe) but when you show your own research, they're like, oh another google doctor. Very dismissive of researchers, probably because they do get crazies who do "research" and want invermectin... so you can't win. case by case

as someone trying to navigate medical care for parents in europe, there are big holes in their medical care there too. Not so much that it's not as good, but much harder to get a second opinion, share scans with different drs etc etc. Also same level of scorn for google.

[Anonymous]

I read something that really resonated. It said that a lot of people treat the healthcare industry like a mechanic - you drop off your car, expect them to figure out what's wrong, fix it, and you pick it up. But a better way to think of healthcare is like an orchestra, and you are the conductor. Each healthcare professional is an expert at their specific thing, and you don't have to know how to "play every instrument". But you should have the vision for how it all should come together, and pull each person in accordingly.

Obviously I'm not a musician and I'm sure the metaphor has its flaws, but it switched my perspective on a chronic health issue I've been dealing with. I do my own research and seek out providers that specialize in things I've read about. In my appointments, I ask for what I want by name and cite the research if necessary. And, frankly, I pay a LOT out of pocket in order to see the best providers.

Now, to be fair, my health issue is not resolved so maybe I'm going about it all wrong, but I feel much better about it mentally than I did when I was just waiting for my PCP to try to figure it out, and they clearly did not really give a shlt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to go annually, do all the checkups, jump through all the hoops, but several years of terrible care and blatantly incompetent clinicians (e.g. diagnosed me with "tonsillitis" in the tonsils I had removed when I was 8), and I just can't trust them anymore. I've also been abused by doctors who had a poor sense of boundaries, including being stalked by a doctor. I now get horribly nervous even thinking about going to the doctor, and my general health is suffering.

How am I supposed to get over this? I still have a body, and it's still going to need care!

Consider that "doctors" are not a homogenous group in which everyone thinks the same way and makes the same choices. It sounds like you need a solo practitioner who will sit down and talk with you - about your medical problems but also your medical anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was the #1 rule I’ve told my kids when they went off to college, don’t just trust what the doctor says.

Listen and discern if it makes sense, do your own research, get a 2nd opinion.

They’ve both learned that doctors are just mediocre humans doing the best they can which is mediocre.

Also, don’t just go to anyone, get recommendations, look at their track record, interview them, don’t worry about their feelings.

This is how people ended up injecting themselves with horse dewormer to treat Covid.

[Anonymous]

I trusted a doc who gave me Levaquin in my late 20s for a supposed upper respiratory infection (which turned out to be bad acid reflux!). No throat swab was done.

I now know it is an antibiotic that should only be given as a last resort. It has damaged my body greatly; all of my joints/tendons have significantly weakened. It also gave me tinnitus. Traumatized me for years and considered suicide. I turned forty recently and I have never recovered my strength or hearing.

If something has a black box warning, do not take it.

[Anonymous]

I don't either. Not with what I've seen.

-someone with a rare disease

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to go annually, do all the checkups, jump through all the hoops, but several years of terrible care and blatantly incompetent clinicians (e.g. diagnosed me with "tonsillitis" in the tonsils I had removed when I was 8), and I just can't trust them anymore. I've also been abused by doctors who had a poor sense of boundaries, including being stalked by a doctor. I now get horribly nervous even thinking about going to the doctor, and my general health is suffering.

How am I supposed to get over this? I still have a body, and it's still going to need care!

Consider that "doctors" are not a homogenous group in which everyone thinks the same way and makes the same choices. It sounds like you need a solo practitioner who will sit down and talk with you - about your medical problems but also your medical anxiety.

Well, they all think they know your body better than you do (after a 10 min convo) and can never admit when they eff up.