Parents of transgender teens in private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely becoming more and more popular. It's totally real and not a social contagion that follows the exact same trend lines of other opt-in social-signaling fads of past centuries.

It’s becoming more accepted, not more popular. Trans and non-binary people have been among us all along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely becoming more and more popular. It's totally real and not a social contagion that follows the exact same trend lines of other opt-in social-signaling fads of past centuries.

Then I would be wary to use a word such as "popular" to describe the phenomenon. The point is there are more *visible* trans or nonbinary students nowadays because they feel more empowered to articulate/share their truth. The same goes for other people who identify as LGBQ. One has to wonder how many other students have these feelings, but do not feel empowered to share them with others.

Or how many kids are confused and awkward during puberty and we are leading them to this conclusion. Some schools have become so extremely LBGTQ+ accepting / positive that the straight kids are in the minority. I’m not doubting that trans kids exist, but telling every awkward elementary kid they could be trans is not the answer.

The point is that we should let children explore their identity rather than foist one on them. If a kid questions their gender identity and eventually realizes they are cis, good on them! Just giving them the space and opportunity to explore it themselves is the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely becoming more and more popular. It's totally real and not a social contagion that follows the exact same trend lines of other opt-in social-signaling fads of past centuries.

Then I would be wary to use a word such as "popular" to describe the phenomenon. The point is there are more *visible* trans or nonbinary students nowadays because they feel more empowered to articulate/share their truth. The same goes for other people who identify as LGBQ. One has to wonder how many other students have these feelings, but do not feel empowered to share them with others.

Or how many kids are confused and awkward during puberty and we are leading them to this conclusion. Some schools have become so extremely LBGTQ+ accepting / positive that the straight kids are in the minority. I’m not doubting that trans kids exist, but telling every awkward elementary kid they could be trans is not the answer.

The point is that we should let children explore their identity rather than foist one on them. If a kid questions their gender identity and eventually realizes they are cis, good on them! Just giving them the space and opportunity to explore it themselves is the answer.

This is what complete moral and social ambiguity looks like, as if there are no differences in outcomes for your child based on their trans identity. Giving space to explore a trans identity is not in the best interest of many children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those parents who have a transgender high school student at Maret or GDS, would you mind sharing your experience? Does your child feel accepted and respected by students and staff? Please only respond if this question pertains to you. Thank you.

This is supposed to be an anonymous forum. Why are you asking people to out themselves? Transgenderism is so incredibly rare.

Do you even have a clue? Or any kind of empathy for OP? The OP is looking for information for their kid, and asking the question doesn’t out anyone. And not everyone is in the closet—that’s an archaic way of thinking about it. Maybe some parents/kids have good experiences and don’t mind sharing. Maybe they are out at their school and happy there, and happy to share. And exactly—it’s anonymous. And no one has to respond if they are worried about people knowing who they are.

I have more than a clue. Look, this is so incredibly rare that it’s likely many of these schools don’t have any at all or if they did it’s one child total. So essentially asking those people to share experiences in an “anonymous” forum and yet it isn’t hard to deduce who they are. Which violates the child’s privacy.

I realize that with all the culture war stuff it might sound like transgenderism is common or normal but it’s actually so incredibly deviant from the norm that when it does occur it’s really obvious. I suppose the appetite to share publicly probably varies from person to person but in this instance you’re essentially calling out known people. Not cool.

It's problematic that you think you have more of a clue than this parent. Again you never addressed the point that there could be out kids who like their school and do not mind sharing, which would be great info for the OP. Your need to speak up for the trans community isn't bad, but your criticism is misplaced. (And your term, "deviant from the norm," while not necessarily statistically inaccurate, is totally dehumanizing.) So, again, get a clue. No one has to chime in, and those who want to, can. No one is trying to call out anyone. No one has to respond. And I agree that it is archaic to assume that all trans kids are closeted.

I won't name the school, but DD is at a Catholic all girls school with a rather large portion of trans/non-binary students. It's not just one or two and if it is being accepted at a religious school, I suspect it is a non-issue at secular schools.

Stone Ridge.

Interesting that there were a lot of trans / non-binary students at SR during the pandemic and suddenly the phenomenon has dried up in the middle school and younger high school. It certainly looks like a social contagion.

NP. Probably because if you are aware of the families that have been admitted to Stone Ridge in high number in the past 5 years you would understand that they would not be that welcoming to these families or kids so that makes sense. Lots of republican Congo Chevy families admitted to SR in past few years. Changed dynamic of the school.

I’ve seen that shift but wonder why republican Congo Chevy families aren’t equally likely to be trans if it’s not a fad or just popular but instead a natural shift in the younger demographic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely becoming more and more popular. It's totally real and not a social contagion that follows the exact same trend lines of other opt-in social-signaling fads of past centuries.

Then I would be wary to use a word such as "popular" to describe the phenomenon. The point is there are more *visible* trans or nonbinary students nowadays because they feel more empowered to articulate/share their truth. The same goes for other people who identify as LGBQ. One has to wonder how many other students have these feelings, but do not feel empowered to share them with others.

Or how many kids are confused and awkward during puberty and we are leading them to this conclusion. Some schools have become so extremely LBGTQ+ accepting / positive that the straight kids are in the minority. I’m not doubting that trans kids exist, but telling every awkward elementary kid they could be trans is not the answer.

The point is that we should let children explore their identity rather than foist one on them. If a kid questions their gender identity and eventually realizes they are cis, good on them! Just giving them the space and opportunity to explore it themselves is the answer.

This is what complete moral and social ambiguity looks like, as if there are no differences in outcomes for your child based on their trans identity. Giving space to explore a trans identity is not in the best interest of many children.

No, this is what healthy parenting should look like. Why are you assigning moral value to a child's exploration of their gender identity? Give them to freedom to decide who they are rather than try to foist your own beliefs and gender identity, which I have a hunch are very dated? Be there to answer questions and help guide them on their discovery, but leave your own hang-ups out of it.

[Anonymous]

We will have to agree to disagree on good parenting techniques. But, that is okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely becoming more and more popular. It's totally real and not a social contagion that follows the exact same trend lines of other opt-in social-signaling fads of past centuries.

You probably didn't mean to use popular here (based on your second sentence). Perhaps you meant it is more common to find students who feel comfortable enough to be their genuine selves in public - these students always existed - they were just hiding their truths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those parents who have a transgender high school student at Maret or GDS, would you mind sharing your experience? Does your child feel accepted and respected by students and staff? Please only respond if this question pertains to you. Thank you.

This is supposed to be an anonymous forum. Why are you asking people to out themselves? Transgenderism is so incredibly rare.

Do you even have a clue? Or any kind of empathy for OP? The OP is looking for information for their kid, and asking the question doesn’t out anyone. And not everyone is in the closet—that’s an archaic way of thinking about it. Maybe some parents/kids have good experiences and don’t mind sharing. Maybe they are out at their school and happy there, and happy to share. And exactly—it’s anonymous. And no one has to respond if they are worried about people knowing who they are.

I have more than a clue. Look, this is so incredibly rare that it’s likely many of these schools don’t have any at all or if they did it’s one child total. So essentially asking those people to share experiences in an “anonymous” forum and yet it isn’t hard to deduce who they are. Which violates the child’s privacy.

I realize that with all the culture war stuff it might sound like transgenderism is common or normal but it’s actually so incredibly deviant from the norm that when it does occur it’s really obvious. I suppose the appetite to share publicly probably varies from person to person but in this instance you’re essentially calling out known people. Not cool.

It's problematic that you think you have more of a clue than this parent. Again you never addressed the point that there could be out kids who like their school and do not mind sharing, which would be great info for the OP. Your need to speak up for the trans community isn't bad, but your criticism is misplaced. (And your term, "deviant from the norm," while not necessarily statistically inaccurate, is totally dehumanizing.) So, again, get a clue. No one has to chime in, and those who want to, can. No one is trying to call out anyone. No one has to respond. And I agree that it is archaic to assume that all trans kids are closeted.

I won't name the school, but DD is at a Catholic all girls school with a rather large portion of trans/non-binary students. It's not just one or two and if it is being accepted at a religious school, I suspect it is a non-issue at secular schools.

Stone Ridge.

Interesting that there were a lot of trans / non-binary students at SR during the pandemic and suddenly the phenomenon has dried up in the middle school and younger high school. It certainly looks like a social contagion.

NP. Probably because if you are aware of the families that have been admitted to Stone Ridge in high number in the past 5 years you would understand that they would not be that welcoming to these families or kids so that makes sense. Lots of republican Congo Chevy families admitted to SR in past few years. Changed dynamic of the school.

I’ve seen that shift but wonder why republican Congo Chevy families aren’t equally likely to be trans if it’s not a fad or just popular but instead a natural shift in the younger demographic.

They ARE equally likely....but less likely to tell others about it in an environment that is not accepting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those parents who have a transgender high school student at Maret or GDS, would you mind sharing your experience? Does your child feel accepted and respected by students and staff? Please only respond if this question pertains to you. Thank you.

This is supposed to be an anonymous forum. Why are you asking people to out themselves? Transgenderism is so incredibly rare.

Do you even have a clue? Or any kind of empathy for OP? The OP is looking for information for their kid, and asking the question doesn’t out anyone. And not everyone is in the closet—that’s an archaic way of thinking about it. Maybe some parents/kids have good experiences and don’t mind sharing. Maybe they are out at their school and happy there, and happy to share. And exactly—it’s anonymous. And no one has to respond if they are worried about people knowing who they are.

I have more than a clue. Look, this is so incredibly rare that it’s likely many of these schools don’t have any at all or if they did it’s one child total. So essentially asking those people to share experiences in an “anonymous” forum and yet it isn’t hard to deduce who they are. Which violates the child’s privacy.


Why would you think of a Catholic School for your trans student? Seems pretty opposite the point???

I realize that with all the culture war stuff it might sound like transgenderism is common or normal but it’s actually so incredibly deviant from the norm that when it does occur it’s really obvious. I suppose the appetite to share publicly probably varies from person to person but in this instance you’re essentially calling out known people. Not cool.

It's problematic that you think you have more of a clue than this parent. Again you never addressed the point that there could be out kids who like their school and do not mind sharing, which would be great info for the OP. Your need to speak up for the trans community isn't bad, but your criticism is misplaced. (And your term, "deviant from the norm," while not necessarily statistically inaccurate, is totally dehumanizing.) So, again, get a clue. No one has to chime in, and those who want to, can. No one is trying to call out anyone. No one has to respond. And I agree that it is archaic to assume that all trans kids are closeted.

I won't name the school, but DD is at a Catholic all girls school with a rather large portion of trans/non-binary students. It's not just one or two and if it is being accepted at a religious school, I suspect it is a non-issue at secular schools.

Stone Ridge.

Interesting that there were a lot of trans / non-binary students at SR during the pandemic and suddenly the phenomenon has dried up in the middle school and younger high school. It certainly looks like a social contagion.

NP. Probably because if you are aware of the families that have been admitted to Stone Ridge in high number in the past 5 years you would understand that they would not be that welcoming to these families or kids so that makes sense. Lots of republican Congo Chevy families admitted to SR in past few years. Changed dynamic of the school.

SR, Visi, and Holy Child are all attracting and admitting many of the same families - they tend to be conservative and very entrenched into the country club scene. Curious where families not wanting to be in this type of community would go? St. John's? What other Catholic school options are there for girls in the close in DMV area or would you need to go to non-Catholic like Holton, NCS, or Madeira? Not talking about administration but the parent/student community which affects the student more in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely becoming more and more popular. It's totally real and not a social contagion that follows the exact same trend lines of other opt-in social-signaling fads of past centuries.

You probably didn't mean to use popular here (based on your second sentence). Perhaps you meant it is more common to find students who feel comfortable enough to be their genuine selves in public - these students always existed - they were just hiding their truths.

Very much disagree both that it is real in every case and that the relatively friendlier atmosphere of today accounts for the visibility of trans kids. Activists and kneejerk proponents tend to rely on unprovable or un-dis-provable assertions like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those parents who have a transgender high school student at Maret or GDS, would you mind sharing your experience? Does your child feel accepted and respected by students and staff? Please only respond if this question pertains to you. Thank you.

This is supposed to be an anonymous forum. Why are you asking people to out themselves? Transgenderism is so incredibly rare.

Do you even have a clue? Or any kind of empathy for OP? The OP is looking for information for their kid, and asking the question doesn’t out anyone. And not everyone is in the closet—that’s an archaic way of thinking about it. Maybe some parents/kids have good experiences and don’t mind sharing. Maybe they are out at their school and happy there, and happy to share. And exactly—it’s anonymous. And no one has to respond if they are worried about people knowing who they are.

I have more than a clue. Look, this is so incredibly rare that it’s likely many of these schools don’t have any at all or if they did it’s one child total. So essentially asking those people to share experiences in an “anonymous” forum and yet it isn’t hard to deduce who they are. Which violates the child’s privacy.

I realize that with all the culture war stuff it might sound like transgenderism is common or normal but it’s actually so incredibly deviant from the norm that when it does occur it’s really obvious. I suppose the appetite to share publicly probably varies from person to person but in this instance you’re essentially calling out known people. Not cool.

It's problematic that you think you have more of a clue than this parent. Again you never addressed the point that there could be out kids who like their school and do not mind sharing, which would be great info for the OP. Your need to speak up for the trans community isn't bad, but your criticism is misplaced. (And your term, "deviant from the norm," while not necessarily statistically inaccurate, is totally dehumanizing.) So, again, get a clue. No one has to chime in, and those who want to, can. No one is trying to call out anyone. No one has to respond. And I agree that it is archaic to assume that all trans kids are closeted.

I won't name the school, but DD is at a Catholic all girls school with a rather large portion of trans/non-binary students. It's not just one or two and if it is being accepted at a religious school, I suspect it is a non-issue at secular schools.

Stone Ridge.

Interesting that there were a lot of trans / non-binary students at SR during the pandemic and suddenly the phenomenon has dried up in the middle school and younger high school. It certainly looks like a social contagion.

NP. Probably because if you are aware of the families that have been admitted to Stone Ridge in high number in the past 5 years you would understand that they would not be that welcoming to these families or kids so that makes sense. Lots of republican Congo Chevy families admitted to SR in past few years. Changed dynamic of the school.

I’ve seen that shift but wonder why republican Congo Chevy families aren’t equally likely to be trans if it’s not a fad or just popular but instead a natural shift in the younger demographic.

Because their wives would divorce them if they transitioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely becoming more and more popular. It's totally real and not a social contagion that follows the exact same trend lines of other opt-in social-signaling fads of past centuries.

You probably didn't mean to use popular here (based on your second sentence). Perhaps you meant it is more common to find students who feel comfortable enough to be their genuine selves in public - these students always existed - they were just hiding their truths.

Very much disagree both that it is real in every case and that the relatively friendlier atmosphere of today accounts for the visibility of trans kids. Activists and kneejerk proponents tend to rely on unprovable or un-dis-provable assertions like this.

Just because someone explores something while trying to find their identity doesn't mean it's not "real" if they eventually determine that was not the right fit. It can certainly be true, that as transgender becomes more accepted in our culture - there will be some people who explore as they are finding themselves. For some, they have known 100% from a very young age, for others it takes longer to determine exactly who they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely becoming more and more popular. It's totally real and not a social contagion that follows the exact same trend lines of other opt-in social-signaling fads of past centuries.

You probably didn't mean to use popular here (based on your second sentence). Perhaps you meant it is more common to find students who feel comfortable enough to be their genuine selves in public - these students always existed - they were just hiding their truths.

Very much disagree both that it is real in every case and that the relatively friendlier atmosphere of today accounts for the visibility of trans kids. Activists and kneejerk proponents tend to rely on unprovable or un-dis-provable assertions like this.

Just because someone explores something while trying to find their identity doesn't mean it's not "real" if they eventually determine that was not the right fit. It can certainly be true, that as transgender becomes more accepted in our culture - there will be some people who explore as they are finding themselves. For some, they have known 100% from a very young age, for others it takes longer to determine exactly who they are.

I'd add that negative pressures from the outside (parents, community) only make life more difficult for a young (or grown!) person to discover their true self.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my extremely limited experience, if the kid starts at the school dressing and behaving as their “new” (?) gender, the other kids might not realize the person is trans.

This was my niece's experience. She went from a public MS to a private HS in this area. I will not name which private as she's still a student and while the LGBTQ population at many of the privates is vast, the population of trans students is not. According to my sister, she's had no issues. Less than a handful of classmates even know she's trans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely becoming more and more popular. It's totally real and not a social contagion that follows the exact same trend lines of other opt-in social-signaling fads of past centuries.

You probably didn't mean to use popular here (based on your second sentence). Perhaps you meant it is more common to find students who feel comfortable enough to be their genuine selves in public - these students always existed - they were just hiding their truths.

Very much disagree both that it is real in every case and that the relatively friendlier atmosphere of today accounts for the visibility of trans kids. Activists and kneejerk proponents tend to rely on unprovable or un-dis-provable assertions like this.

Just because someone explores something while trying to find their identity doesn't mean it's not "real" if they eventually determine that was not the right fit. It can certainly be true, that as transgender becomes more accepted in our culture - there will be some people who explore as they are finding themselves. For some, they have known 100% from a very young age, for others it takes longer to determine exactly who they are.

I'd add that negative pressures from the outside (parents, community) only make life more difficult for a young (or grown!) person to discover their true self.

I said nothing about exploration not being associated with "realness". Not sure what that has to do with anything. Its obvious that many kids at our DC school are exploring. In some cases, it is the "true self", in others, it is a temporary stop on life's journey. We see it a lot at our school.

Negative pressures from the parents, if anything I have seen, is "parenting". Our school sees itself as in loco parentis to the degree that it socially transitions kids as young as FOUR without cluing in the parents. And our school is so over the top about promoting this (not just leveling the playing field) ... if I was in kindergarten and there were balloons and rainbows and boas to celebrate me and frequently tell me how extra-special I am, I'd find a way to join the rainbow.