Parents of transgender teens in private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my extremely limited experience, if the kid starts at the school dressing and behaving as their “new” (?) gender, the other kids might not realize the person is trans.

Oh they know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those parents who have a transgender high school student at Maret or GDS, would you mind sharing your experience? Does your child feel accepted and respected by students and staff? Please only respond if this question pertains to you. Thank you.

This is supposed to be an anonymous forum. Why are you asking people to out themselves? Transgenderism is so incredibly rare.

Do you even have a clue? Or any kind of empathy for OP? The OP is looking for information for their kid, and asking the question doesn’t out anyone. And not everyone is in the closet—that’s an archaic way of thinking about it. Maybe some parents/kids have good experiences and don’t mind sharing. Maybe they are out at their school and happy there, and happy to share. And exactly—it’s anonymous. And no one has to respond if they are worried about people knowing who they are.

I have more than a clue. Look, this is so incredibly rare that it’s likely many of these schools don’t have any at all or if they did it’s one child total. So essentially asking those people to share experiences in an “anonymous” forum and yet it isn’t hard to deduce who they are. Which violates the child’s privacy.

I realize that with all the culture war stuff it might sound like transgenderism is common or normal but it’s actually so incredibly deviant from the norm that when it does occur it’s really obvious. I suppose the appetite to share publicly probably varies from person to person but in this instance you’re essentially calling out known people. Not cool.

As a HS teacher I have to tell you, no. It’s not at all incredibly rare. My school has roughly 650 students. I teach five classes a day, with about 16 students per class on average, and for the last five years, I have personally taught at least 5-10 transgender-identified students per year. Before that I had 1-5 per year. (I started teaching in 2008). Will all these students persist in these particular identities? Who knows for sure but from what I see after graduation I would say a lot do. To call it “rare” is just not accurate.

For reference, my school is an independent school that also serves as the public school in the district…a particular type of school that exists in the Northeast and I won’t say much more for identifying reasons. But suffice to say we are not a private school with a self selecting population, although we are a very accommodating and kind environment for all students.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is rare either; but it is rare to be in an accepting area such that kids feel free to be who they are. In some areas it appear rare because no way in a million years would a kid let anyone know who they really are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those parents who have a transgender high school student at Maret or GDS, would you mind sharing your experience? Does your child feel accepted and respected by students and staff? Please only respond if this question pertains to you. Thank you.

This is supposed to be an anonymous forum. Why are you asking people to out themselves? Transgenderism is so incredibly rare.

Do you even have a clue? Or any kind of empathy for OP? The OP is looking for information for their kid, and asking the question doesn’t out anyone. And not everyone is in the closet—that’s an archaic way of thinking about it. Maybe some parents/kids have good experiences and don’t mind sharing. Maybe they are out at their school and happy there, and happy to share. And exactly—it’s anonymous. And no one has to respond if they are worried about people knowing who they are.

I have more than a clue. Look, this is so incredibly rare that it’s likely many of these schools don’t have any at all or if they did it’s one child total. So essentially asking those people to share experiences in an “anonymous” forum and yet it isn’t hard to deduce who they are. Which violates the child’s privacy.

I realize that with all the culture war stuff it might sound like transgenderism is common or normal but it’s actually so incredibly deviant from the norm that when it does occur it’s really obvious. I suppose the appetite to share publicly probably varies from person to person but in this instance you’re essentially calling out known people. Not cool.

As a HS teacher I have to tell you, no. It’s not at all incredibly rare. My school has roughly 650 students. I teach five classes a day, with about 16 students per class on average, and for the last five years, I have personally taught at least 5-10 transgender-identified students per year. Before that I had 1-5 per year. (I started teaching in 2008). Will all these students persist in these particular identities? Who knows for sure but from what I see after graduation I would say a lot do. To call it “rare” is just not accurate.

For reference, my school is an independent school that also serves as the public school in the district…a particular type of school that exists in the Northeast and I won’t say much more for identifying reasons. But suffice to say we are not a private school with a self selecting population, although we are a very accommodating and kind environment for all students.

+1
College professor, and I’ve consistently had 5-10% trans kids every semester since we went back in person after Covid. It is NOT “incredibly rare”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those parents who have a transgender high school student at Maret or GDS, would you mind sharing your experience? Does your child feel accepted and respected by students and staff? Please only respond if this question pertains to you. Thank you.

This is supposed to be an anonymous forum. Why are you asking people to out themselves? Transgenderism is so incredibly rare.

Do you even have a clue? Or any kind of empathy for OP? The OP is looking for information for their kid, and asking the question doesn’t out anyone. And not everyone is in the closet—that’s an archaic way of thinking about it. Maybe some parents/kids have good experiences and don’t mind sharing. Maybe they are out at their school and happy there, and happy to share. And exactly—it’s anonymous. And no one has to respond if they are worried about people knowing who they are.

I have more than a clue. Look, this is so incredibly rare that it’s likely many of these schools don’t have any at all or if they did it’s one child total. So essentially asking those people to share experiences in an “anonymous” forum and yet it isn’t hard to deduce who they are. Which violates the child’s privacy.

I realize that with all the culture war stuff it might sound like transgenderism is common or normal but it’s actually so incredibly deviant from the norm that when it does occur it’s really obvious. I suppose the appetite to share publicly probably varies from person to person but in this instance you’re essentially calling out known people. Not cool.

As a HS teacher I have to tell you, no. It’s not at all incredibly rare. My school has roughly 650 students. I teach five classes a day, with about 16 students per class on average, and for the last five years, I have personally taught at least 5-10 transgender-identified students per year. Before that I had 1-5 per year. (I started teaching in 2008). Will all these students persist in these particular identities? Who knows for sure but from what I see after graduation I would say a lot do. To call it “rare” is just not accurate.

For reference, my school is an independent school that also serves as the public school in the district…a particular type of school that exists in the Northeast and I won’t say much more for identifying reasons. But suffice to say we are not a private school with a self selecting population, although we are a very accommodating and kind environment for all students.

+1
College professor, and I’ve consistently had 5-10% trans kids every semester since we went back in person after Covid. It is NOT “incredibly rare”

Agreed. I know several kids who are nonbinary or trans just in my kid’s group alone. Not to mention friends of ours who felt comfortable letting us know but are still not living their authentic selves outwardly with everyone yet. If someone thinks it’s rare, maybe they just don’t know anyone who considers them a safe person to tell.

[Anonymous]

It's definitely becoming more and more popular. It's totally real and not a social contagion that follows the exact same trend lines of other opt-in social-signaling fads of past centuries.

[Anonymous]

Understand GDS is extremely accepting and encouraging of transitioning students. Believe they had a large group of students transition from female to male together last year which is pretty unique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely becoming more and more popular. It's totally real and not a social contagion that follows the exact same trend lines of other opt-in social-signaling fads of past centuries.

Then I would be wary to use a word such as "popular" to describe the phenomenon. The point is there are more *visible* trans or nonbinary students nowadays because they feel more empowered to articulate/share their truth. The same goes for other people who identify as LGBQ. One has to wonder how many other students have these feelings, but do not feel empowered to share them with others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my extremely limited experience, if the kid starts at the school dressing and behaving as their “new” (?) gender, the other kids might not realize the person is trans.

Oh they know.

Learn nuance, friend. We know at least one trans kid who transitioned when they were very small, and chose to "pass" when they moved here and began high school. The kid had puberty blockers before puberty began and then took testosterone. Unless he changed in front of someone, there was absolutely no sign that he was assigned female at birth. Might a younger kid who is trying to pass end up accidentally outed at some point? Sure, because young kids aren't the world's best at keeping secrets. On the other hand, maybe not. Might a kid who is in a school where kids knew them before they transitioned be outed if they try to pass? Obviously. On the other hand, there is no doubt that kids who have transitioned before anyone in their social set knew them can easily pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those parents who have a transgender high school student at Maret or GDS, would you mind sharing your experience? Does your child feel accepted and respected by students and staff? Please only respond if this question pertains to you. Thank you.

This is supposed to be an anonymous forum. Why are you asking people to out themselves? Transgenderism is so incredibly rare.

Do you even have a clue? Or any kind of empathy for OP? The OP is looking for information for their kid, and asking the question doesn’t out anyone. And not everyone is in the closet—that’s an archaic way of thinking about it. Maybe some parents/kids have good experiences and don’t mind sharing. Maybe they are out at their school and happy there, and happy to share. And exactly—it’s anonymous. And no one has to respond if they are worried about people knowing who they are.

I have more than a clue. Look, this is so incredibly rare that it’s likely many of these schools don’t have any at all or if they did it’s one child total. So essentially asking those people to share experiences in an “anonymous” forum and yet it isn’t hard to deduce who they are. Which violates the child’s privacy.

I realize that with all the culture war stuff it might sound like transgenderism is common or normal but it’s actually so incredibly deviant from the norm that when it does occur it’s really obvious. I suppose the appetite to share publicly probably varies from person to person but in this instance you’re essentially calling out known people. Not cool.

It's problematic that you think you have more of a clue than this parent. Again you never addressed the point that there could be out kids who like their school and do not mind sharing, which would be great info for the OP. Your need to speak up for the trans community isn't bad, but your criticism is misplaced. (And your term, "deviant from the norm," while not necessarily statistically inaccurate, is totally dehumanizing.) So, again, get a clue. No one has to chime in, and those who want to, can. No one is trying to call out anyone. No one has to respond. And I agree that it is archaic to assume that all trans kids are closeted.

I won't name the school, but DD is at a Catholic all girls school with a rather large portion of trans/non-binary students. It's not just one or two and if it is being accepted at a religious school, I suspect it is a non-issue at secular schools.

Stone Ridge.

Interesting that there were a lot of trans / non-binary students at SR during the pandemic and suddenly the phenomenon has dried up in the middle school and younger high school. It certainly looks like a social contagion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely becoming more and more popular. It's totally real and not a social contagion that follows the exact same trend lines of other opt-in social-signaling fads of past centuries.

Then I would be wary to use a word such as "popular" to describe the phenomenon. The point is there are more *visible* trans or nonbinary students nowadays because they feel more empowered to articulate/share their truth. The same goes for other people who identify as LGBQ. One has to wonder how many other students have these feelings, but do not feel empowered to share them with others.

Or how many kids are confused and awkward during puberty and we are leading them to this conclusion. Some schools have become so extremely LBGTQ+ accepting / positive that the straight kids are in the minority. I’m not doubting that trans kids exist, but telling every awkward elementary kid they could be trans is not the answer.

[Anonymous]

To answer OP's question-- I have a trans kid and am looking at the same schools you mentioned. From talking to the consultant we hired and talking to friends IRL with kids at those schools, I would say it's a non-issue. It's even been mentioned more than once that it could help my kid with admissions. Best of luck to you and your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To answer OP's question-- I have a trans kid and am looking at the same schools you mentioned. From talking to the consultant we hired and talking to friends IRL with kids at those schools, I would say it's a non-issue. It's even been mentioned more than once that it could help my kid with admissions. Best of luck to you and your kid.

Something to keep in mind

But seriously that's disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those parents who have a transgender high school student at Maret or GDS, would you mind sharing your experience? Does your child feel accepted and respected by students and staff? Please only respond if this question pertains to you. Thank you.

This is supposed to be an anonymous forum. Why are you asking people to out themselves? Transgenderism is so incredibly rare.

Do you even have a clue? Or any kind of empathy for OP? The OP is looking for information for their kid, and asking the question doesn’t out anyone. And not everyone is in the closet—that’s an archaic way of thinking about it. Maybe some parents/kids have good experiences and don’t mind sharing. Maybe they are out at their school and happy there, and happy to share. And exactly—it’s anonymous. And no one has to respond if they are worried about people knowing who they are.

I have more than a clue. Look, this is so incredibly rare that it’s likely many of these schools don’t have any at all or if they did it’s one child total. So essentially asking those people to share experiences in an “anonymous” forum and yet it isn’t hard to deduce who they are. Which violates the child’s privacy.

I realize that with all the culture war stuff it might sound like transgenderism is common or normal but it’s actually so incredibly deviant from the norm that when it does occur it’s really obvious. I suppose the appetite to share publicly probably varies from person to person but in this instance you’re essentially calling out known people. Not cool.

It's problematic that you think you have more of a clue than this parent. Again you never addressed the point that there could be out kids who like their school and do not mind sharing, which would be great info for the OP. Your need to speak up for the trans community isn't bad, but your criticism is misplaced. (And your term, "deviant from the norm," while not necessarily statistically inaccurate, is totally dehumanizing.) So, again, get a clue. No one has to chime in, and those who want to, can. No one is trying to call out anyone. No one has to respond. And I agree that it is archaic to assume that all trans kids are closeted.

I won't name the school, but DD is at a Catholic all girls school with a rather large portion of trans/non-binary students. It's not just one or two and if it is being accepted at a religious school, I suspect it is a non-issue at secular schools.

Stone Ridge.

Interesting that there were a lot of trans / non-binary students at SR during the pandemic and suddenly the phenomenon has dried up in the middle school and younger high school. It certainly looks like a social contagion.

NP. Probably because if you are aware of the families that have been admitted to Stone Ridge in high number in the past 5 years you would understand that they would not be that welcoming to these families or kids so that makes sense. Lots of republican Congo Chevy families admitted to SR in past few years. Changed dynamic of the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those parents who have a transgender high school student at Maret or GDS, would you mind sharing your experience? Does your child feel accepted and respected by students and staff? Please only respond if this question pertains to you. Thank you.

This is supposed to be an anonymous forum. Why are you asking people to out themselves? Transgenderism is so incredibly rare.

Do you even have a clue? Or any kind of empathy for OP? The OP is looking for information for their kid, and asking the question doesn’t out anyone. And not everyone is in the closet—that’s an archaic way of thinking about it. Maybe some parents/kids have good experiences and don’t mind sharing. Maybe they are out at their school and happy there, and happy to share. And exactly—it’s anonymous. And no one has to respond if they are worried about people knowing who they are.

I have more than a clue. Look, this is so incredibly rare that it’s likely many of these schools don’t have any at all or if they did it’s one child total. So essentially asking those people to share experiences in an “anonymous” forum and yet it isn’t hard to deduce who they are. Which violates the child’s privacy.

I realize that with all the culture war stuff it might sound like transgenderism is common or normal but it’s actually so incredibly deviant from the norm that when it does occur it’s really obvious. I suppose the appetite to share publicly probably varies from person to person but in this instance you’re essentially calling out known people. Not cool.

It's problematic that you think you have more of a clue than this parent. Again you never addressed the point that there could be out kids who like their school and do not mind sharing, which would be great info for the OP. Your need to speak up for the trans community isn't bad, but your criticism is misplaced. (And your term, "deviant from the norm," while not necessarily statistically inaccurate, is totally dehumanizing.) So, again, get a clue. No one has to chime in, and those who want to, can. No one is trying to call out anyone. No one has to respond. And I agree that it is archaic to assume that all trans kids are closeted.

I won't name the school, but DD is at a Catholic all girls school with a rather large portion of trans/non-binary students. It's not just one or two and if it is being accepted at a religious school, I suspect it is a non-issue at secular schools.

Stone Ridge.

Interesting that there were a lot of trans / non-binary students at SR during the pandemic and suddenly the phenomenon has dried up in the middle school and younger high school. It certainly looks like a social contagion.

NP. Probably because if you are aware of the families that have been admitted to Stone Ridge in high number in the past 5 years you would understand that they would not be that welcoming to these families or kids so that makes sense. Lots of republican Congo Chevy families admitted to SR in past few years. Changed dynamic of the school.

SR, Visi, and Holy Child are all attracting and admitting many of the same families - they tend to be conservative and very entrenched into the country club scene. Curious where families not wanting to be in this type of community would go? St. John's? What other Catholic school options are there for girls in the close in DMV area or would you need to go to non-Catholic like Holton, NCS, or Madeira? Not talking about administration but the parent/student community which affects the student more in my opinion.