My abysmal DECADE of OLD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t about OLD but about why your relationships fizzle out after 6 months. You are doing quite well on OLD.

+1, if these relationships occurred in your late 20s to mid 30s, and they fizzled out easily, I think the issue is that you may not actually like being in a relationship or may not be interested in what a relationship actually entails. Those are the prime years that people look for someone to settle down with, especially if interested in having kids. If those relationships had been more serious and then fallen apart for other reasons (different goals or attitudes on family or career, for instance), I wouldn't say this. But if they were that short and just "fizzled" without concrete reasons, then this is about your approach to relationships, not OLD.

[Anonymous]

Actually OLD is a disaster for women. It gives them a false sense of desirability because they get so many likes. Men complain of not even getting any likes. But women have it worse I think because they are being sold an illusion of endless options.

[Anonymous]

There should be an international Dating conference where men and women can discuss what they are looking for. I think the gap between what women want and what men are ABLE to offer them is big and it is widening.

[Anonymous]

You're only in your thirties. Stop wasting your time on divorced dads. Save that for when you are at least 44. There are still decent single guys around your age with no kids. Target those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're only in your thirties. Stop wasting your time on divorced dads. Save that for when you are at least 44. There are still decent single guys around your age with no kids. Target those.

I’m sorry but those don’t want to get married. Most guys I have dated in their 30s either don’t want kids or are afraid to commit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're only in your thirties. Stop wasting your time on divorced dads. Save that for when you are at least 44. There are still decent single guys around your age with no kids. Target those.

I’m sorry but those don’t want to get married. Most guys I have dated in their 30s either don’t want kids or are afraid to commit.

+1. Weirdly enough I have gotten more interest from divorced dads in their 40s. And also they were emotionally available. I’m currently engaged to a 46 years old divorced man who has 2 adorable kids. He is open to having more kids. The only issue is that his ex wife is a piece of work. They have been divorced for 2 years but since we got engaged she is suddenly adding hurdles to his custody days. We were supposed to go on vacation all 4 of us, she initially agreed but at the last minute she pulled some weird stunt and we had to cancel our trip. We are currently planning our wedding date and my Fiancé wants us to do it ASAP so she can finally get on with her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're only in your thirties. Stop wasting your time on divorced dads. Save that for when you are at least 44. There are still decent single guys around your age with no kids. Target those.

I’m sorry but those don’t want to get married. Most guys I have dated in their 30s either don’t want kids or are afraid to commit.

+1. Weirdly enough I have gotten more interest from divorced dads in their 40s. And also they were emotionally available. I’m currently engaged to a 46 years old divorced man who has 2 adorable kids. He is open to having more kids. The only issue is that his ex wife is a piece of work. They have been divorced for 2 years but since we got engaged she is suddenly adding hurdles to his custody days. We were supposed to go on vacation all 4 of us, she initially agreed but at the last minute she pulled some weird stunt and we had to cancel our trip. We are currently planning our wedding date and my Fiancé wants us to do it ASAP so she can finally get on with her life.

The word you're looking for is "desperate"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relationships are just hard. Think of it this way, the average married person had maybe 10 or even 20 relationships before they got married, and 100% of them "failed. ". Most people end up getting desperate to have kids and so go with "the one "

I doubt this, unless you are considering "relationships" to be just a few dates or a hook up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been using dating apps for TEN YEARS. First Okcupid, then Bumble, and now Hinge.
Throughout my life, including the years before online dating, I’ve only had boyfriends every four years. 2012-2013, 2016, 2020.

My online dating cycle goes exactly like this:
Swipe through 100+ guys who liked me. Match with about 25 of them. Respond to about 10 of them. Carry on conversations with 5 or 6. Go on dates with 3.
One date will be horrible. I’ll trek all the way from Maryland to Virginia in awful weather to meet a guy who is completely boring, or creepy, or incorrigibly awkward.
Another date will be reasonably fun. Carry on a good conversation but not much physical attraction.
Another date will be both attractive to me and fun, good conversation, and things seem great. The guys says he’s interested in a second date but never asks me.
I go on a second date with the guy who was reasonably fun, but not that physically attractive to me, thinking that if I give him a chance, there will be something about him that will ignite a spark. It doesn’t. He either senses that I’m not interested and doesn’t pursue anything further, or we go on a third date and I have to end it before it goes anywhere physical because I’m still not feeling it.

Get disillusioned with online dating and give up. Two weeks later, repeat the process. Or maybe I’ll reach back to one of the other matches, giving them a second look, but it’s usually too late.

As I said, I’ve only been in three relationships, one every four years. And they all fizzled out after about six months due to lifestyle differences or jobs.

The one upside is that even in my 30s, I haven’t seen a decline in quantity or quality of matches from when I first started. Maybe fewer obvious creeps. I’ve broadened my horizons to consider men into their 50s, divorced men with children, men without college degrees, and I’ve long since stopped caring about height and I never cared about race. And it’s 2024, so by that rule of my life I’m due to find a boyfriend this year, so…who knows.

For what it’s worth, I’m slender, I have long natural hair, I’m fiscally responsible/financially independent but not career-obsessed, I’m feminine in the ways that it matters, very low body count if that’s important, I think I have plenty to bring to the table in a relationship, but I’m perhaps too jaded and guarded to let loose and be flirty and feel sexy around strangers.

How do you describe the "creeps".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're only in your thirties. Stop wasting your time on divorced dads. Save that for when you are at least 44. There are still decent single guys around your age with no kids. Target those.

I’m sorry but those don’t want to get married. Most guys I have dated in their 30s either don’t want kids or are afraid to commit.

+1. Weirdly enough I have gotten more interest from divorced dads in their 40s. And also they were emotionally available. I’m currently engaged to a 46 years old divorced man who has 2 adorable kids. He is open to having more kids. The only issue is that his ex wife is a piece of work. They have been divorced for 2 years but since we got engaged she is suddenly adding hurdles to his custody days. We were supposed to go on vacation all 4 of us, she initially agreed but at the last minute she pulled some weird stunt and we had to cancel our trip. We are currently planning our wedding date and my Fiancé wants us to do it ASAP so she can finally get on with her life.

Anyone who'd get remarried 2 short years after a divorce, with kids, is a real jerk. So, good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're only in your thirties. Stop wasting your time on divorced dads. Save that for when you are at least 44. There are still decent single guys around your age with no kids. Target those.

I’m sorry but those don’t want to get married. Most guys I have dated in their 30s either don’t want kids or are afraid to commit.

+1. Weirdly enough I have gotten more interest from divorced dads in their 40s. And also they were emotionally available. I’m currently engaged to a 46 years old divorced man who has 2 adorable kids. He is open to having more kids. The only issue is that his ex wife is a piece of work. They have been divorced for 2 years but since we got engaged she is suddenly adding hurdles to his custody days. We were supposed to go on vacation all 4 of us, she initially agreed but at the last minute she pulled some weird stunt and we had to cancel our trip. We are currently planning our wedding date and my Fiancé wants us to do it ASAP so she can finally get on with her life.

Anyone who'd get remarried 2 short years after a divorce, with kids, is a real jerk. So, good luck with that.

THIS! You’re both selfish jerks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're only in your thirties. Stop wasting your time on divorced dads. Save that for when you are at least 44. There are still decent single guys around your age with no kids. Target those.

I’m sorry but those don’t want to get married. Most guys I have dated in their 30s either don’t want kids or are afraid to commit.

+1. Weirdly enough I have gotten more interest from divorced dads in their 40s. And also they were emotionally available. I’m currently engaged to a 46 years old divorced man who has 2 adorable kids. He is open to having more kids. The only issue is that his ex wife is a piece of work. They have been divorced for 2 years but since we got engaged she is suddenly adding hurdles to his custody days. We were supposed to go on vacation all 4 of us, she initially agreed but at the last minute she pulled some weird stunt and we had to cancel our trip. We are currently planning our wedding date and my Fiancé wants us to do it ASAP so she can finally get on with her life.

Anyone who'd get remarried 2 short years after a divorce, with kids, is a real jerk. So, good luck with that.

THIS! You’re both selfish jerks.

Hate happy people all you want, if numbs the pain of your miserable life.

[Anonymous]

Family? Are they thinking you want babies due to your stage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're only in your thirties. Stop wasting your time on divorced dads. Save that for when you are at least 44. There are still decent single guys around your age with no kids. Target those.

Divorced dads need a chance. They are so eager and attentive too. I’ve had great experiences with divorced dads!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're only in your thirties. Stop wasting your time on divorced dads. Save that for when you are at least 44. There are still decent single guys around your age with no kids. Target those.

Divorced dads need a chance. They are so eager and attentive too. I’ve had great experiences with divorced dads!

+1. And some will also learn from their first failed marriage which will be a bonus for you. By default men are responsible for their marriage ending, and that is generalization that works against them because potential future date for good/bad reasons will look at them with suspicions. A woman, on the other hand, won't have to worry about that. We hear more about the lazy, emotionally absent, and serial cheating husband. A woman with these characteristics can easily flip the script because she will be given the benefit of the doubt.