Sister in law bridal shower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PPs that say the invite isn't supposed to come from the bride. That's not a reason to be offended. If you don't want to go, don't, but not because of who invited you.

Since you are hoping for a ring, probably best to go, unless finals are literally the next day.

Finals are the same day and people are misreading my post or maybe I didn’t give enough info. My MIL didn’t plan the shower, she didn’t even want to tell me when it was but my MIL slipped up and told me so then I got an invite. I understand how bridal showers work im saying im never invited to anything unless my MIL invites me

It sounds like you are holding way too many grudges and just want to come up with excuses why you can’t go. If you have finals that day won’t you be finished studying? Most people seem to think you should go at least to make an appearance. You have jumped on several people for suggesting you go and not sharing in your excuses. Do whatever you want but don’t expect people to agree with you. And don’t blame it on finals, just say I don’t want to go and reap the consequences.

I’m not jumping on people who say to go. I’m jumping on rude people who are saying it’s jealousy or bringing up why I’m not engaged yet and other things and clearing things up because people are literally judging why I’m not engaged or other small things I said they barely know about. No my school is different finals are taken at a set time in the day that I cannot move. In which I take the day to study them and then if I can find a babysitter for that set time while my SO is at work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, something is very "off" that you are pretending you are married (Sister-Inlaw)

In my boyfriends family and even he tells me within his culture we have a child together and we live together. I’m not pretending some families call each other certain things whether married or not. That’s how his family is that is why I am using such words. When they are talking about either one of us they say sister in laws. Just how his family is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PPs that say the invite isn't supposed to come from the bride. That's not a reason to be offended. If you don't want to go, don't, but not because of who invited you.

Since you are hoping for a ring, probably best to go, unless finals are literally the next day.

Finals are the same day and people are misreading my post or maybe I didn’t give enough info. My MIL didn’t plan the shower, she didn’t even want to tell me when it was but my MIL slipped up and told me so then I got an invite. I understand how bridal showers work im saying im never invited to anything unless my MIL invites me

Then don't effing go. YOu don't want to. Every post pointing out something you disagree with is met with pushback and excuses. So don't go.

I think you're being childish. And once you're married and have kids . . . you'll probably regret isolating from your DH's family and it will do nothing but cause problems. I am a HUGE one for boundaries and limits, and yes even cutting off or limiting time, where necessary. Sorry, you've not met that threshold imo. Good luck getting through life being so sensitive. YOu have to bear some rudeness sometime, even from family, and find a way to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there any possibility, OP, that this young woman is either very shy around you, or a little socially awkward, and where you perceive rudeness, it's not intentional, but poor social skills?

I'm in my 40s, and now I can talk to anyone, but in my teens and 20s, I had really bad social anxiety. It was very hard talking to certain people, especially if they were outgoing and loud.

I just want to make sure you're not burning a bridge when it's not warranted.

No she talks to everyone not socially awkward at all even if the person is new. I’ve gone up to her at social events and where we are sitting more secluded from people to talk to her and I’ll make conversation and she will literally not say anything to me like if she never even heard me at all until I walk away. Like it’s so bad that when we are all together and hug each other because we just got there she will hug everyone I will go to hug her and she walks away and doesn’t even say hi. She’s outgoing and loud except for with me I’ve tried to think maybe that was the case but after so many times I don’t think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there any possibility, OP, that this young woman is either very shy around you, or a little socially awkward, and where you perceive rudeness, it's not intentional, but poor social skills?

I'm in my 40s, and now I can talk to anyone, but in my teens and 20s, I had really bad social anxiety. It was very hard talking to certain people, especially if they were outgoing and loud.

I just want to make sure you're not burning a bridge when it's not warranted.

No she talks to everyone not socially awkward at all even if the person is new. I’ve gone up to her at social events and where we are sitting more secluded from people to talk to her and I’ll make conversation and she will literally not say anything to me like if she never even heard me at all until I walk away. Like it’s so bad that when we are all together and hug each other because we just got there she will hug everyone I will go to hug her and she walks away and doesn’t even say hi. She’s outgoing and loud except for with me I’ve tried to think maybe that was the case but after so many times I don’t think so. I would prefer if that’s the case, I usually can be good at getting people out of their shell. But she has been that way since the day we met. It got so bad my SO family noticed and randomly told me she has jealousy issues pretty bad and to ignore her. But I felt like ignoring her or just letting it go was a bad idea, but I just continued to be nice to her and her family. It’s just draining sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PPs that say the invite isn't supposed to come from the bride. That's not a reason to be offended. If you don't want to go, don't, but not because of who invited you.

Since you are hoping for a ring, probably best to go, unless finals are literally the next day.

Finals are the same day and people are misreading my post or maybe I didn’t give enough info. My MIL didn’t plan the shower, she didn’t even want to tell me when it was but my MIL slipped up and told me so then I got an invite. I understand how bridal showers work im saying im never invited to anything unless my MIL invites me

Then don't effing go. YOu don't want to. Every post pointing out something you disagree with is met with pushback and excuses. So don't go.

I think you're being childish. And once you're married and have kids . . . you'll probably regret isolating from your DH's family and it will do nothing but cause problems. I am a HUGE one for boundaries and limits, and yes even cutting off or limiting time, where necessary. Sorry, you've not met that threshold imo. Good luck getting through life being so sensitive. YOu have to bear some rudeness sometime, even from family, and find a way to deal with it.

I don’t understand why you are being so rude about it? I was just answering something you said to clarify.

[Anonymous]

If you have finals the same day, then you have a pre-existing conflict that can’t be changed. Just graciously decline: “Wishing you all the best with this major life milestone! I’m sorry I won’t be able to attend, but I am with you in spirit.”

[Anonymous]

I really don't understand the point of this post. Even if you loved your sister in law, you probably wouldn't be able to attend because of finals. So why are you being so dramatic and attention seeking? "sorry, I have finals and won't be able to make it.". Send a gift. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's not your sister in law, don't feel obligated.

This. She's just your baby daddy's sister. Who cares? In a few years you'll never have to see her again. Also, learn to use an apostrophe.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm not sure what you're looking for here except for everyone to tell you you're completely justified in not going.

Also, if you're in college (and even if you're not), please learn the difference between too, two, and to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm not sure what you're looking for here except for everyone to tell you you're completely justified in not going.

Also, if you're in college (and even if you're not), please learn the difference between too, two, and to.

Add to the list: "him and I" and "her and I."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PPs that say the invite isn't supposed to come from the bride. That's not a reason to be offended. If you don't want to go, don't, but not because of who invited you.

Since you are hoping for a ring, probably best to go, unless finals are literally the next day.

Finals are the same day and people are misreading my post or maybe I didn’t give enough info. My MIL didn’t plan the shower, she didn’t even want to tell me when it was but my MIL slipped up and told me so then I got an invite. I understand how bridal showers work im saying im never invited to anything unless my MIL invites me

Then don't effing go. YOu don't want to. Every post pointing out something you disagree with is met with pushback and excuses. So don't go.

I think you're being childish. And once you're married and have kids . . . you'll probably regret isolating from your DH's family and it will do nothing but cause problems. I am a HUGE one for boundaries and limits, and yes even cutting off or limiting time, where necessary. Sorry, you've not met that threshold imo. Good luck getting through life being so sensitive. YOu have to bear some rudeness sometime, even from family, and find a way to deal with it.

I don’t understand why you are being so rude about it? I was just answering something you said to clarify.

A) you're not answering anything from me.
B) every post is an excuse or justification
C) you have no possibility that you're just being sensitive or not having a thick enough skin.
D) Your posts are also rude. You need to have the last word.

You don't want to go. You don't want to hear from people who are giving reasons to go. You want to be validated and that's it. You are in for a looooooong road in marriage if this is your approach. GL with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there any possibility, OP, that this young woman is either very shy around you, or a little socially awkward, and where you perceive rudeness, it's not intentional, but poor social skills?

I'm in my 40s, and now I can talk to anyone, but in my teens and 20s, I had really bad social anxiety. It was very hard talking to certain people, especially if they were outgoing and loud.

I just want to make sure you're not burning a bridge when it's not warranted.

No she talks to everyone not socially awkward at all even if the person is new. I’ve gone up to her at social events and where we are sitting more secluded from people to talk to her and I’ll make conversation and she will literally not say anything to me like if she never even heard me at all until I walk away. Like it’s so bad that when we are all together and hug each other because we just got there she will hug everyone I will go to hug her and she walks away and doesn’t even say hi. She’s outgoing and loud except for with me I’ve tried to think maybe that was the case but after so many times I don’t think so.

Based on this update I would absolutely not go. You also need to stand up for yourself and not tolerate this behavior from her.

[Anonymous]

If you were invited by your BFs mother and the shower is local you should go and grin and bear it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PPs that say the invite isn't supposed to come from the bride. That's not a reason to be offended. If you don't want to go, don't, but not because of who invited you.

Since you are hoping for a ring, probably best to go, unless finals are literally the next day.

Finals are the same day and people are misreading my post or maybe I didn’t give enough info. My MIL didn’t plan the shower, she didn’t even want to tell me when it was but my MIL slipped up and told me so then I got an invite. I understand how bridal showers work im saying im never invited to anything unless my MIL invites me

Well then you have two reasons not to go. One being a conflict and one being you weren't really invited.